How do you handle survivor's guilt?

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 May 2017 22:40:53 -0400

Particularly this weekend as we remember our fallen it can be an extremely difficult time for some who bore witness and survived. How do you handle survivor's guilt? What can those around them do to help them and know that they are here for a reason?

Response by COL Charles Williams made May 29 at 2017 12:16 AM

COL Charles Williams — Mon, 29 May 2017 00:16:14 -0400

LTC Private RallyPoint Member Time is the only answer. I know, in my heart, despite the bad things that happened... I did all I could to ensure my troops were well trained, well equipped and ready. Unfortunately, the enemy gets a vote.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 12:31 AM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 May 2017 00:31:05 -0400

LTC Private RallyPoint Member Being with other veterans and service members during Memorial Day and Veterans Day helps because you are with other brothers and sisters. I think of fallen buddies, my father and uncles throughout the year. It does not take much to trigger these memories, but I try my best to focus on the good memories, and keep the bad memories behind a locked door in my mind.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made May 29 at 2017 8:58 AM

SGM Erik Marquez — Mon, 29 May 2017 08:58:38 -0400

"How do you handle survivor's guilt?"
I don't

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 11:09 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 May 2017 11:09:06 -0400

I really like this question. This is something I have thought about and why I continue to serve. I haven't been in a situation with my element suffering a KIA but I have been in units where we have though. One of them was my old room mate from Bragg. But when I hear of incident I wonder if I could have made a difference if I were there. I recall a story about a unit that I knew took a few casualties. It turns out that I ran into a soldier that was their QRF. What he told me just made me think why they let security lapse. They made many mistakes and paid for it. The unit was pulled out of it's AOR due to this. I am not trying to monday morning quarterback them but you just wonder if you would have done the same thing. For this reason I want to deploy more. I hope that I can make a difference. Maybe everyone feels like this. But I only have three tours in so far and I still don't feel like I have pulled my weight yet.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2017 9:55 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 May 2017 21:55:07 -0400

I drink. It works for me, but I wouldn't recommend it to any one else.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 30 at 2017 6:00 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 30 May 2017 18:00:20 -0400

by realizing that thru counselling it was not my fault and nothing I did do, or didn't do, could've done at that time would have prevented the tragedy, after realizing this it becomes easier to deal with, still painful, yes, so now I remember the good times shared and not that one instance of devastation, I lost my daughter while serving in Iraq, I came home from a combat zone alive and well while she died in a car accident, it took time but, it still hurts, but not as much, I used to ask why her so young and not me so old, only one person has that answer

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made May 30 at 2017 7:17 PM

PVT Raymond Lopez — Tue, 30 May 2017 19:17:55 -0400

About twelve years ago I picked up a rescue dog at our county animal shelter who had been confiscated by the Virginia State Police from some people who were trying to turn him into a fighting dog. I changed his call name to Blackie and he has not left my side since except when I was in the hospital. He is a wonderful dog when we have met Wounded Warriors who are in wheelchairs he will go up to them and lick their hands. I have seen family members shedding tears when he does that. He is a one hundred pound American Staffordshire Terrier also known as a “nanny dog”. He never leaves my side and the only question I ever ask about him is “Who rescued whom?”