How do you keep from becoming just another statistic?

SPC Tesha Gaither — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 14:18:13 -0500

In a world where there are statistics for everything, how do you keep from becoming another statistic? In the military we have many statistics, some of which you can not afford. But what if you can afford some of them? What keeps you from getting suicidal? What keeps your marriage going? What keeps your PTSD from taking over all your life? What statistic do you not want to be apart of? How can we help each other?

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Jan 20 at 2015 2:35 PM

SFC Mark Merino — Tue, 20 Jan 2015 14:35:07 -0500

I am grateful for the compensation from the VA, but I can't become one of the veterans who accepts to stay at home and draw compensation when I have the ability to continue to serve, even if in a much more limited capacity. I am desperate to work with recently separated veterans who are dealing with the difficulties transitioning to civilian life as well as overcoming physical disabilities.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made Jan 21 at 2015 11:07 PM

COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 23:07:30 -0500

- How to keep from becoming a statistic? Be aware. Be educated. Be informed. Make risk informed and mitigated decisions.
- What stat not want to be a part of? Pick most any one (crime, disease, poverty, unemployed, fired).
- What stats do I want to be a part of? Never divorced, longest lived for my birth year, lottery winner.
- How help each other? Be aware, be educated, be informed.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 3:24 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 15:24:58 -0500

Great question SPC Tesha Gaither. I think the biggest thing (for assisting yourself and others) is awareness and education for all - knowing what can be a trigger, being aware of things around you, and knowing your resources. While I know it seems like a blanket answer at times, but just being a good Wingman to others and keeping in the know about your people.

I am previously divorced, and try to maintain my current marriage (and thus family). Relationships are tough, as we all know, and I personally have to work hard to grow as a family and grow together, and not apart.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 3:41 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 15:41:27 -0500

What keeps me going and not becoming a statistic is my family. The warmth of my wife's hand as she holds my hand. The huge smile on my 2 yr old daughters face when I pick her up from daycare.

Response by CMC Robert Young made Jan 25 at 2015 4:39 PM

CMC Robert Young — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 16:39:12 -0500

I believe all find their own way. Because for each of us circumstances are different so it is impossible to find a one size fits all solution. Only you can answer that question for you & you alone. However, I think that you have taken the right approach by asking what works for other people. By evaluating their courses of action and results, it may serve as a catalyst to make adjustments in your own world.

Personally, my Christian faith coupled with a very robust family/friend support network are cornerstones. I was reared in the church, and am also blessed with a multitude of strong personal relationships who continue to support me daily.

Additionally, I watch my diet and exercise as best I can given my unstable work schedule. Running/working out several times a week offers the peaceful chance to think about things away from work and family. It's good for the body & soul. I visit the doctor/dentist as needed, and take my medication daily to treat a minor but chronic problem.

I read/study a variety of topics to keep my mind fresh. Looking for new interests expands my horizons and prevents me from falling into an intellectual rut. It keeps me from being bored. Somebody once pointed out "If you're the smartest person in the room, it's time to find a new room." Learning keeps us young.

Finally, I look for opportunities to be of service to others (coaching youth sports, church based ministry projects, personal mentoring for people who seek me out, etc). There is for me nothing so rewarding as helping another person succeed or overcome a difficulty. My experience has been that very frequently those people will later share or shoulder my burdens when I'm too weak to do for myself.

All of this may work for you. None of it may work for you. The important thing to recognize is that you are looking for solutions and positive outcomes. That means you are already ahead of the curve. Keep looking until you find what works for you.

My best to you in your search.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 12 at 2017 7:22 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 07:22:27 -0500

There are a lot of good responses here, and I can tell you that having support from your family, friends, colleagues , your chaplain and faith in a higher power and lots of love and forgiveness will get you through it. In the last few years, my unit lost 5 people to suicide. There is nothing worth taking your life for. NOTHING....My wife especially has been there for me everytime. I like many veterans, am having difficulty adjusting...I do have my Retirement and VA Disability, but we are having difficulty paying bills and have adjusted our lifestyle but its not quite enough, had a job and lost it and I am back in the job search mode...No luck so far... with persistance and a never quit attitude I will succeed and so will you.

PTSD, depression, anxiety, anger issues...having a support system is key to success. Including family, friends, work buddies, chaplain and your mental health provider...don't try to do it alone and dont be afraid to ask for help! I certainly don't want to be included in the "22" Veterans that lost their lives to suicide everyday...there is no coming back from that...all the other issues, you can bounce back from.

How can we help each other...talk, talk and talk some more...you will find that some of your friends, family, coleagues, Army buddies, VFW buddies have gone through the same thing...I find their counsel very helpful...So...Chin up!, Stay Positive! and take the challenge like any other mission.

Your Brother in Arms,
Maj Michael Orecchio (Retired)

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 8 at 2017 11:28 AM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 11:28:37 -0500

For me not letting the military, or life, just happen to you. Being proactive in making the things you want to happen go the way you want them to. Chasing down paperwork, finding out who knows or does what when it comes to your life plan (and having a plan to begin with).