How do you keep your family in the loop, especially your children when dealing with your PTSD?

CW4 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 15:02:22 -0400

How do you explain to your children what you are going through and how much do you actually tell them?

http://www.militarytimes.com/story/military/advice/kevlar-for-the-mind/2016/06/25/parents-ptsd-open-kids-but-keep-certain-details-yourself/86137514/

Parents with PTSD: Be open with kids — but keep certain details to yourself

Children who regularly interact with a person who has PTSD need help too.

Response by SGT Larry Michael Bleckler II made Jul 6 at 2016 7:13 PM

SGT Larry Michael Bleckler II — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 19:13:32 -0400

Just be honest with them and if you are having a bad day let them know some times it is good to seek council from a preacher or a professional psychologist. Talk to your brothers they will have advice you can take to the bank because you can relate to one another you don't have to talk about what happened while you were in country.

Response by Marjorie Bellows made Jul 6 at 2016 8:29 PM

Marjorie Bellows — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 20:29:47 -0400

Let me tell you as a child of a World War II veteran that suffered from PTSD we knew that there were certain things that you don't do. We never tried to wake Dad up suddenly because he would think he was back in the war. We learned to be considerate of him. He never liked to talk about many things about the war but when he did we listened. My Dad was a Frogman, one of the original Navy Seals. He told us about his training, how hard it was and how many guys suffered. He nearly starved in North Africa and taught us never to waste food because of it. I think he taught me more about compassion for others than any other person in my life. He also taught me to value each day and in his words to "be tough kid" . To do your best and work at something really want even if it involves a hardship to obtain it. He always let us know how much he loved us. I think that's really the key. Let your kids know that you're having a tough time but you love them so much. Hold them and talk to them. Especially the little ones who are too young to understand it all. It will help you too as kids help us heal by just being kids. If your kids are older, talk them like they will understand and they will try because they love you. We also learned to have an immense respect for our military. My brothers went on to serve and now my son and nephews. All because of my Dad.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2016 5:30 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 07 Jul 2016 17:30:39 -0400

I'm fortunate enough to come from a military family. So I'm not looked at like I'm a freak or something. It's harder to explain things to children because they see what's on TV and think you're going to snap on them at any moment.

Response by SP5 Joel McDargh made Jul 8 at 2016 9:08 AM

SP5 Joel McDargh — Fri, 08 Jul 2016 09:08:23 -0400

The first thing is to recognise there is a problem and seek help for it which I have done. I have two adult children who were grossly abused by their father. I have done my best to make amends for my violent behavior in times past, but forgiveness is a moot thing when there is a refusal to acknowledge the problem from those abused. My son is doing twenty to life for a crime which in his mind I am partly responsible for due to my parenting when he was young. Trying to explain to him about PTSD did no good. All I can do is move forward and know that regardless of what was it is no more. The saddest part about this affliction is that deep lying emotions from combat experiences tend to be carried out on those closest to us as we shut ourselves off from others. Not going to lie, there have been many times that I wish I would never have returned from Vietnam due to the war I brought home with me. On that note, I will say that since those dark times I have been blessed with a second family who have been very understanding, and have been instrumental in helping me to find my way home.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 8 at 2016 9:08 AM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 Jul 2016 09:08:44 -0400

I think you have to look at the age of the child and then explain it on they level and the older the more you can tell them. But they know something is wrong especially if the child is old enough to remember you before the PTSD.