How do you stay calm, no matter what? Here are some tips!

2015-07-15T11:29:21-04:00

How To Stay Calm, No Matter What!

I've noticed over the last couple of weeks that we have a few RP members that get a little upset and excited about Discussions and Posts.

Here are some "how’s" on how to stay calm before you respond or delete your account!

You can agree or disagree or add some other techniques, but don't be a hater!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-stay-calm-matter-what-bruce-kasanoff?trk=pulse-det-nav_art

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 11:37 AM

2015-07-15T11:37:14-04:00

This is a something that we all should really pay attention too. So many times we just over react and start getting upset about the slightest objection to one's opinion. I don't really understand this. I have see it not only here but in the military also. People are quick to judge and attack. If I get upset I try to do the react slowly bit. I know that I am quick to judge. So I can't really stop that but what I can stop is saying anything. I will with hold my judgement and spend time thinking about it. By doing this I can better articulate my point and not just speck with haste harsh words. But I love caffeine. I am on my second Monster right now.

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Jul 15 at 2015 11:39 AM

2015-07-15T11:39:40-04:00

I really need to lay off the Red Bull.

Response by CMSgt Mark Schubert made Jul 15 at 2015 11:43 AM

2015-07-15T11:43:09-04:00

Sir, I have a quote that I came up with because I have been accused of being "kurt" many times - which I know all too well distracts from the point of the communication -
What you say is not nearly as important as what people hear.
- Mark Schubert
With that said, I often (as I suspect many people do) let my excitement (or "passion" as I like to refer to it as) get the best of me and it doesn't matter how much caffeine, exercise, or whatever, it's going to come out - and - to me, that's OK. I don't want to stifle anyone's passion - I think it's important to express it. What's more important is that I realize when someone ELSE is also passionate and I try my best to make sure I keep things professional. It's when we lose that professionalism that it can (and will) get ugly.

Response by LTC John Shaw made Jul 15 at 2015 11:57 AM

2015-07-15T11:57:47-04:00

COL Mikel J. Burroughs The article lost me at Number 1, going back to get my fourth cup of coffee...

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 12:14 PM

2015-07-15T12:14:17-04:00

I find it an interesting article and I am guilty of a lot of the don'ts that are listed. One of my ways to stay calm is to take a step back and try to remember to have an open mind. I also try to not deal with an issue that makes me upset right away rather wait until later when I have calmed down and can think logically.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jul 15 at 2015 12:22 PM

2015-07-15T12:22:03-04:00

Good points! In an effort to be less negative and inflammatory and more calm and constructive, I've learned through the years to respond to emails like writing a newspaper column for publication.

1. don't put any addresses in the TO block so you don't accidentally send it until ready
2. write it like you want to say and how you want to say it, get all those 4 letter words, ranting and negativity out of your system.
3. save as a draft. go back to it 5 minutes later after a walk to cool your jets. remove the 4 letter words.
4. give it some more thought and replace the negatives with positives and rants with constructive criticism.
5 give it one last go through to insure it's something you would say to your mother if you had to then fill in the TO block and send.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 12:44 PM

2015-07-15T12:44:16-04:00

Awwwww....if this is about asking people to calm down, why wasn't I tagged? Am I not enough of a hothead? *LOL*

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Jul 15 at 2015 12:48 PM

2015-07-15T12:48:23-04:00

Well COL Mikel J. Burroughs, It is interesting that you are referencing a LinkedIn commentary. I am glad at least it was not a Facebook commentary :-)
After reviewing the authors recommendations I found some to be spot on while others are less useful.
1. Dump the caffeine: This may work for some; but, since caffeine has differing effects on people it may not be as useful as Dump the amphetamines, crystal meth, cocaine, other uppers. People on those recreational drugs get wired and and be very un-calm to put it mildly :-)
2. Exercise: This is a general benefit for most. Those who are extremely competitive can be pain to exercise with or be in their path of when they are going for their personal gold :-)
a.) walk at least 10,000 steps per day, and Good for anal retentive folks - make sure it is exactly 10,000 steps; start on and end on same foot or alternate :-)
b.) exercise more than the others. This was a comical statement. Extremely competitive may struggle with this. I had a roommate who used to inject steroids in the late 1970's . He was obsessed with exercising and competition. People who are driven to compete will have their own unique struggles to stay calm.
3. Goodbye 1 a.m. bedtime: Works well for those who work the day shift. I don't think this is a reasonable goal for those are in the military, travel frequently or work in international travel, or work on the space station where 1 AM only makes sense when your time zone is stable :-)
4. Anger = you lose: Anger that is retained and held in is definitely bad for you. Anger that is forcefully vented can be bad for others and those around you at the time :-) However there is appropriate anger such as when your family members are threatened - appropriate protective responses actually produce calm
5. React slowly: I think this could be expressed as think before you act or react
6. Ask Yourself “Why?” That is a very good question to ask yourself except for those with multiple personalities which could lead to some interesting "self-talk" :-)
PO3 Steven Sherrill, SPC Private RallyPoint Member, LTC Stephen C., SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4", GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad, LTC John Shaw

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 1:36 PM

2015-07-15T13:36:15-04:00

COL Mikel J. Burroughs those tips have so many applications across so many fields. "React Slowly" is the tip that I find the most beneficial in relation to the trend you are seeing on RallyPoint. If you don't like what you read or see, stop and think about it instead of reacting emotionally about it. If you have to, turn your computer off and walk away. If you take the time to think about it, not only will you be able to formulate a more educated and substantiated response but you will not have made a spectacle and lost all hope of having your opinion taken serious.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Jul 15 at 2015 1:36 PM

2015-07-15T13:36:44-04:00

I agree with these great article.

Number 6 I use to ask why but that lead to me being defensive with myaelf so I ask what instead of why when I have a trigger go off.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 1:48 PM

2015-07-15T13:48:04-04:00

#5, React Slowly. That has by far been the greatest contributor to my being able to remain level headed during debates and confrontations. I've often told people that if they say something and I just walk away, it's because I need to think before I react. It works wonders.

I'm going to begin to implement the rest of those ideas as well. Even though I feel like I'm a pretty calm person I'd love to not be reactive at all.

Response by PO1 Shahida Marmol made Jul 15 at 2015 2:22 PM

2015-07-15T14:22:56-04:00

Bruce is absolutely right. You have to have patience, people seem to be more nerve wrecking now than ever, so you can't let them get the best of you. And it helps if you slept the night before lol

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 2:23 PM

2015-07-15T14:23:57-04:00

I love reading all of these responses. It took me about 7 years to make a solid transition from a super fiery senior NCO that always jumped into every situation with both feet first like a bull in a china shop to the calm and level headed Chief Warrant Officer that I am today. There are situations and topics that push my buttons but I know now to sit back and analyze what's going on before I make sound judgements and decisions.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 15 at 2015 3:44 PM

2015-07-15T15:44:04-04:00

God created Time in Grade and rank structures for a reason: for us to season