How hard was leaving your newborn home for BCT?

2019-02-06T09:45:01-05:00

I’m heading to BCT in a few days. I get mixed feelings leaving my daughter and won’t be able to see her for sometime,
Is just me or anyone else feel the same way as I am now

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 9:47 AM

2019-02-06T09:47:53-05:00

I’ve been in the same position. Only difference is my daughter was two and I was singlehandedly raising her so having to leave her with my family while I went away for training was very difficult. My advice is maintain contact with your family and check up on her as often as possible. Remember you’re doing this for her. Are you active duty, guard, or reserves?

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Feb 6 at 2019 9:54 AM

2019-02-06T09:54:27-05:00

Any good parent feels that way. I had to go TDY when our baby was 3 months old.

Response by LTJG Robert M. made Feb 6 at 2019 9:59 AM

2019-02-06T09:59:35-05:00

Hardest thing I had ever done. Left home when my daughter was 9 mos old. Next time I saw her she walked across the room to me.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 10:04 AM

2019-02-06T10:04:15-05:00

Every last one of my three kids was one year old or less for one of my deployments. So allow me to offer some advice, if I may:
When they are very small, they won't remember that daddy is away. He/she won't hold it against you.
What they will miss is the interaction. Your smell, the sound of your voice, playing with them. This lasts, as they reach for mommy for everything at what seems to be your expense.

Talk to the baby, with video if you can, as often as training and rules allow. Make sure the baby has a toy or stuffed animal that smells like you. Record yourself reading the baby a bedtime story, then pick right up and read them in person when you return home.
Make sure you fortify mommy with the knowledge that you are gone because you have to be, but when you return, you will joyfully jump back in and help... even on diaper duty.

You will never get this time back. It is one of my few regrets of service that my children bore this cost. Make it less impactful, if you can, that you are absent.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 10:05 AM

2019-02-06T10:05:30-05:00

You will always feel that way. My son is 4 and I have to go to a four month school and I feel horrid about it. I've left my husband a few times but never left my son for longer than a few weeks. But you do what you have to do. In the long run they will remember the other times more. Stay as in contact as you can, skype or FaceTime preferably.

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 10:06 AM

2019-02-06T10:06:44-05:00

You will get a lot of responses on here from missing children birthday.
My oldest is about to turn 16 in april I will once again miss another birthday. I have missed atleast 9 out of her 16 birthdays. Most of your kids will get used to it and just have to learn how to make it up when you are home that's what I have done and will continue to do. It sucks but once your kids get older they realize the reason why and respect it.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 10:13 AM

2019-02-06T10:13:18-05:00

Left my newborn at 1 week old for a combat deployment

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 11:10 AM

2019-02-06T11:10:25-05:00

PVT, I can relate to the feeling as I left my children a few times for the Army. It hasn't gotten easier with each time, missed holidays, birthday, dance recitals, graduations and more with family. I just remind myself - get through the suck and get home to them. I know it sounds cliche to say this, but the quickest way to get back to them is to work your ass off, get through training and get home. it is a mind set.

One thing that I did to help was I took only one family photo with me, a small wallet size. I kept it in a small pocket bible as a place marker, and every time I wanted to see my family, I had to open that bible. I still carry this with me today, same bible, same photo. It is all a mind set.

Best of luck soldier!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 11:25 AM

2019-02-06T11:25:27-05:00

It’s only a few months I think you’ll be fine. Things that family can do to help us to send you letters and pictures from and of your daughter to keep you informed and sane.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2019 12:50 PM

2019-02-06T12:50:10-05:00

I wasn't in a relationship, nor did I have kids when I left for BCT. So while I'll can sympathize, I cannot emphasize with you from that standpoint. However, my kids were born while my career was still relatively young, and some circumstances of which were my fault caused me to miss a lot of birthdays, X-mas', etc. Just do your best to focus on the task at hand, but use what little personal time you have to keep in touch with your family. As slow a time may go, it never stops.