How has your service impacted your children and spouse?

2015-03-01T15:41:32-05:00

I do not believe in the entitlement of family members rather it be powrr of rank or other such things.

However service is seen in many cultures of bestowing honor upon one's family.

There potential good and bad that can impact them. Your PTSD, disruptive lifestyle, or etc can have a negative impact. Your variety of duty stations can also mean more exposure to different cultures.

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Mar 1 at 2015 4:00 PM

2015-03-01T16:00:29-05:00

My service led to two of my sons volunteering to become Soldiers, and both of these young warriors deployed (Michael deployed once to Iraq and once to Afghanistan, Zach deployed to Afghanistan). I am extremely proud of both of them and their selfless service!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2015 6:38 PM

2015-03-01T18:38:15-05:00

In all honesty, I believe my service has been equal parts our greatest blessing and greatest curse. It has brought us the greatest joys, but also greatest sorrows. I don't think my experiences are exclusive, if you're married with children and have tried to balance those challenges with a military career, you probably know where I'm coming from.

After dating and duly sweeping her off of her feet, you get married. Only your wedding is special, because yours will be an Army wedding, with you and your Best Man in Dress Blues, and a sabre arch honor detail to add to the pageantry, she says she feels like royalty! Remember that. Three years from now when you get a phone call while you're enjoying some downtime while TDY, and she's at her wits end because the basement is flooding back home, she's going to question why she ever married a Soldier. It's the first time she's asked that. It won't be the last.

Some days you're taken to show and tell, dressed in your ACUs, because you're her Daddy, and you're a Soldier! Man, you feel so cool! Your little girl beams with pride because nobody else has a Daddy with a cool Army job like her Daddy has! This same little girl doesn't seem to remember the car ride you shared a little over a year ago; the one to the airport. You sat beside her and held her hand, and sang with her until she fell asleep. Once you arrived at the airport, with tears streaking down your face, you tentatively let go, gently kissed her forehead, and then quietly got out of the car. You kissed your wife one last time, then you took your bags and boarded a flight bound for Fort Dix, enroute to Iraq.

When we deploy, we grab a calendar and look at the projected start date and end dates. As leaders, we tend to get that tunnel vision. Next, we may look at the major holidays, knowing how these impact morale. It often isn't until we get home with our spouse, where the full magnitude of this chunk of time away from home will have on our families. Missed birthdays. Missed anniversaries. Those are the constants. Then there are the things you may never get back: the dance recitals, hockey tournaments, driver's tests, the list is long and varied. The thing is, we made the conscious decision to serve. By extension, so did our spouses, when they chose to marry us. The one's who've had no say at all are perhaps those who pay the heaviest toll at times, for the reasons behind are long absences are often frightening and confusing.

As I prepare to retire, I have a family that is weary from frequent and extended periods of separation from me. They are proud of my service, yet they are ready and eager to be at a point where they no longer have to share me with the U.S. Army. I can't say I blame them! I am very thankful for their support and sacrifices while allowing me to pursue my career goals and objectives.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2015 1:10 AM

2015-03-03T01:10:28-05:00

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2019 12:33 PM

2019-05-01T12:33:15-04:00

Financially, a bit of both.
Culture, with values and traditions and beliefs, probably positively (I say probably due to workaholism potential).
Time away, negative.
Actually, at the point in life, honestly its running in the red as a negative.
My first CO, now a 1-star, said "The secret to success in the Reserves is to keep the Navy, civilian work, and your family equally ticked off at you."