How important is it to be a likeable leader?

2015-07-07T11:54:57-04:00

I have had a number of different leaders over the years, each with their own distinct style. Some were affective and not liked, while other were less than effective but liked by all. The following article states that in order to have people follow you with conviction you have to be a likeable leader. Do you think this is true, why or why not? Also, if you are not a likeable leader but are successful, what do you lose if anything compared to a comparable leader that is liked?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/essential-habits-ultra-likeable-leaders-dr-travis-bradberry

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Jul 7 at 2015 11:59 AM

2015-07-07T11:59:48-04:00

All the knowledge in the world is useless if no one will listen to you..

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2015 12:02 PM

2015-07-07T12:02:06-04:00

It is far more important to be a respected leader. Your Soldiers may "like" you if you are their buddy, but they will follow you if they respect you.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Jul 7 at 2015 12:11 PM

2015-07-07T12:11:07-04:00

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member I really think it is a balance between being likeable or not likeable. There are situations and decisions that you have to make as a leader that will not be liked for whatever reason and there are those decisions that the masses will think you are the greatest thing since "Mom's Sliced Apple Pie". To be effective, you should not seek to obtain either side of the equation. You have to attain and maintain a balance. Being Likable as a leader in my opinion comes with your integrity, your competence, your compassion when needed, your empathy you display genuinely when its calls for, your intensity and inspiring attitude, your manners and courtesy to others through your leadership practices, and your character. All of these things will shape your personality and persona! Not everyone will like you and some will. It not your job to chose who will and who won't. It’s your job to lead from the front when it’s necessary and take a back seat when it’s necessary to allow future leaders room to grow. You can't be wrapped up with yourself trying to guess who likes you and who doesn't. You will lose focus if you try. Be the best you can be through those traits I mentioned above!

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Jul 7 at 2015 12:15 PM

2015-07-07T12:15:00-04:00

Like and respect go hand in hand. "Like" as a friend can be considered going too far for a leader, but a leader should be "liked" as a leader, not a drinking buddy.

Respect of course is key. I did not like nor did I respect many leaders as a person. I did however, respect their rank.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2015 12:20 PM

2015-07-07T12:20:00-04:00

The very first thing that must happen is love for self. How can anyone like you if you don't love yourself. With that said.

I've learned that in this world, you're dammed if you do and you're dammed if you don't.

If you have a personality which is naturally to lead others while respecting your self people will honor you. Does a person need to be liked, maybe. While some say they don't care as long as they are liked, c'mon. What humans all want is to be understood.
When you are working with people you must have a level of respect so much so understanding that each person is unique in their ideals and values.
So, yes it's important to be liked. Not so much that if someone disagrees with your leadership style that you fall apart.
We must all have the love of all people at the forefront.

For others to follow me there must be a difference between myself and my subordinates. We are not on the same level, but I am humble enough to know that all people play major roles as part of a team. Also, I could learn something from each and every member

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2015 12:40 PM

2015-07-07T12:40:51-04:00

I think this question is a little backwards. From my own experiences, I can say that effective leaders are liked because they are effective leaders, above all else. Yes, an NCO might be friendly and therefore well-liked at first, but if/when adversity strikes he/she is unable to effectively handle it, that NCO will lose the respect and admiration of his/her soldiers almost immediately. On the other hand, an NCO could be salty-as-can-be, a true old-school hardass, but if he/she gets the job done and puts his/her soldiers' needs above their own, then they will be well-liked, I guarantee it. You don't have to hand out high-fives to be a good leader. Soldiers aren't stupid - they know the value of a truly effective leader is much greater than platonic friendliness.

Response by SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S. made Jul 7 at 2015 1:10 PM

2015-07-07T13:10:42-04:00

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
- Niccolo Machiavelli
And he knew something about management ...

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2015 1:10 PM

2015-07-07T13:10:48-04:00

I rather be respected for my values, work ethic and lead from the front mentality rather than being likable. Taking care of subordinates is not figuring out ways on how you can make them like you. Taking care of your subordinates is making sure that they are safe, well trained, pysically and mentally fit and disciplined. The like factor will come into effect when your subordinates mature and pysically see their improvements unfold right before their eyes. Either your subordinates will jump on the train or get left behind.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Jul 7 at 2015 1:43 PM

2015-07-07T13:43:48-04:00

Is it important to be "liked" as a leader? No. More often that not your decisions will not be "liked" by those that have to carry them out. As 1SG Private RallyPoint Member pointed out, being a RESPECTED leader is far more important than being liked. Sure you see those leaders who are out getting drunk around those they lead and I'm all for team development and doing things to take interest in your troops but you can't always be the "cool NCO". I remember hearing once that to be a good leader you must love be ready to order the destruction of what you love. The meaning I drew from this is that as a leader, a good and successful leader you must be ready to take the harder right over the easy wrong. Of course we don't want our troops rolling their eyes every time they see a leader walking into the room but we also do not want them thinking they can skate by because you aim to be liked.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2015 1:50 PM

2015-07-07T13:50:45-04:00

Being likable is an asset, but you have to be effective no matter what. I believe that some leaders equate likability to ineffectiveness, and if it gets in the way of mission accomplishment, they are correct in that view. If not a hinderance, then likability can be a positive trait, especially when the task at hand is less than desirable. Part of being 'likable' means also willing to get dirty with your people in the work when necessary and not contrary to shouldering leadership responsibilities . Sometimes, it means giving the order and observing while others do. We'd all like to get back to being the 'tip of the spear'; for me, that means flying the search & rescue or airlift missions I now C2 from afar, but that isn't what the Air Force or Coast Guard wants me to do. I guess I get to be the likable voice on the other end of the phone, until of course I tell an aircraft commander something he/she doesn't want to hear. Then I'm the bad guy. So it goes.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 7 at 2015 4:52 PM

2015-07-07T16:52:12-04:00

As a leader, people need to respect you. They should like the results.

Being liked, is much different than being friendly - or overly friendly. With communication, people will understand why you do things when you do- sometimes you've got to make the hard choices and be a dick- if you explain the method to your madness, they may not like it but will understand and respect it. As a result, they will like your methods better when they finally get the motives. Respect is earned though, and - combined with likability - come from results.

Being liked by subordinates often means they like working for you. This is much different than being friendly.

Response by MAJ Raymond Haynes made May 23 at 2016 12:57 PM

2016-05-23T12:57:45-04:00

Ask Gen. Patton as he rolled across Europe.