How long does it take to "transition" back to civilian world?

SFC Christopher Taggart — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 17:42:02 -0500

I have a question - how long does it take to "transition" back to civilian world? I served 25 years, combination of USA, USAR, ARNG and ETS'd in 2010. Since then I have gotten my Bachelors and currently in a Master's degree program. I don't feel like I'm part of the military world and I don't feel like I'm part of the civilian world either. What do you think?

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Mar 1 at 2016 5:46 PM

SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 17:46:05 -0500

SFC Christopher Taggart I am with you, I am going on two years RETIRED and it is a struggle every day, its going to take some time. It all depends on your situation to be honest.

Response by SGT Benjamin Lindsey made Mar 1 at 2016 5:50 PM

SGT Benjamin Lindsey — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 17:50:44 -0500

I've been out for two years and I feel the same way. I don't feel I fit in any where. It may sound cheesy but that's why I spend so much time on RallyPoint, this seems to be the only place I feel comfortable and that I "fit in".

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 6:02 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 18:02:39 -0500

I separated after five, I've been out twelve, just joined the reserves.
The truth is I don't think anyone fits into either mold. You can find "like the military", police agencies, veteran owned businesses, VSO's, etc. But it's not the same. I've tried running my business "military like", my employees are salary, and the first thing I tell them is "Accomplish the mission and go home." I always run into problems the first time they have to work late. Yes, accomplishing the mission for the last three months only took five hours, today it's going to take nine. I'm not expecting sunshine, angelic trumpets, and smiles, but damn.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 6:41 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 18:41:05 -0500

I answered a similar question for COL Mikel Burroughs only a few days ago. I am unable to tag COL Burroughs with a comment on my current screen. I'll send him an email to see if I can put the two of you in touch.

In addition, transitioning is a process in which the veteran learns or relearns how to stand on his/her own two feet without help from the chain of command. The veteran, for however long, served by receiving instructions and orders and acts on those orders without thought. In the civilian world the veteran must think about what they are doing otherwise, the mechanisms in place can penalize the veteran sometimes more severely than at other times.

Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself and move on.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Mar 1 at 2016 7:19 PM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 19:19:51 -0500

SFC Christopher Taggart I served for 37 years, a combination of USA, ARNG, and USAR. If you review my profile you can see that I have worked in a number of leadership and execitive positions, starting as a General Manager and working my way up over the years. All transitions, whether coming off acctive duty or a combination takes a lot of hard work. I can tell you after my last deployment in OIF 05-07 I had no job when I returned home, started drawing unemployment and then hit it very hard with updating my resume constantly, makeing changes, working on cover letters and signing for a number of job boards, finding recruiters that charge the employer, calling on companies and going through hundreds of company websites looking for positions. Some of the best employers in my feild of credit, collections, call center management, etc. were located right where I lived and I couldn't get a call back if my life depended on it. If you like where you live and want to stay there, then the search becomes even harder. If you are willing to relocate it becomes easier. I made trips to Houston, TX, New York, and eventually Colorado. There are opportunities everywhere and it takes a lot of hard work and you have to be able to sell all of your experience to get the job done. I worked night and day from October 2006 right up to March 2007 and got the job I was looking for. Once again, after I sold my own company I started looking again for a job for about 6 months and I took a step back to get my foot in the door and get gainfully employed once again in my industry while I looked for my current positon. Nothing is impossible and you have to be motivated and keep pushing ahead. In the later years (even though it shouldn't be a consideration) you have to overcome age as well. There aren't too many 58 year olds getting great opportunities, so you need to attack what you want now at an early age and go after it, but you need to be flexible in today's job market. That is just my advice and opinion - others may think differently.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:23 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 19:23:20 -0500

I only served four years, but was forever changed by what I experienced. I separated in June, 1972, and felt like I had nothing in common with civilians. What helped me was being extremely busy. I worked on the Space Shuttle program for 33 years which was also very intense. From the last Space Shuttle flight in July of 2011, it took me two years to stop feeling out of sorts. It will take time, but eventually you will start re-connecting with the civilian world.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:34 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 19:34:55 -0500

It's tough to find the right culture/environment that embodies both worlds. Sites like RP help provide connections with ppl who understand your frustration! Reach out to local Veterans/Mil groups for actual physical connections with like minded ppl....the comradory will help.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:54 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 19:54:36 -0500

It never ends.

Response by PO1 Brian Austin made Mar 1 at 2016 8:39 PM

PO1 Brian Austin — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 20:39:56 -0500

Personally i don't think i'll ever fully "transition", more like co-existing. It's been 13 years now. Sites like this do help, to be able to interact with people with pretty much the same mindset.

Response by MAJ David Wallace made Mar 1 at 2016 9:38 PM

MAJ David Wallace — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 21:38:58 -0500

Like most of the folks on here, I'm still working through the transition bit after a combined 22+ years on active duty and reserve duty. I had a 7 year break in service that drove me crazy.....just didn't fit in anywhere. Went back into the reserves in 2004, deployed to Iraq in 05-06, and finished up in April 2014. I still stay in touch with the guys from my unit and miss the Army culture. I work with several veterans, and they get "where I'm coming from," and I understand them as well. As my Navy MCPO grandfather use to say about civilians "these people don't speak my language." I now know what he meant by that......

Response by SGT Richard H. made Mar 1 at 2016 9:45 PM

SGT Richard H. — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 21:45:45 -0500

Welcome to limbo. Get comfortable. I've been here for 23 years.

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made Mar 1 at 2016 9:53 PM

MSgt Keith Hebert — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 21:53:32 -0500

Never

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 1 at 2016 11:07 PM

COL Charles Williams — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 23:07:40 -0500

Well, I think that depends. I also think we need never can fully go back... SFC Christopher Taggart

Response by TSgt David Case made Mar 1 at 2016 11:46 PM

TSgt David Case — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 23:46:31 -0500

Like a lot of people on here have already said, it takes time. Really depends on who you associate with. I am an Army Civilian though I spent over 22 years in the Air Force and went to Iraq at 20 years in service. My boss is a Col, yet most of us are civilians. Quite a few of us have served and or retired from all of the different branches of service. Kind of the best of both worlds. You might look at going civilian in one of the branches. Just a thought. Has worked for me fairly well. The general population doesn't know us too well as former military and they typically don't speak our language or understand who we are. That takes time to get used to as well. Doesn't make them better or worse, they just don't have the world view frame of reference that most of us have. Like you all know, unless you've been there, done that, it's hard to equate the work ethic and camaraderie that comes with serving, especially if you been overseas. Not to mention being in a combat zone, even for a short time.

Response by SSgt David Tedrow made Mar 2 at 2016 2:49 AM

SSgt David Tedrow — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 02:49:04 -0500

I got out of active duty Marines in 1988 and still have not fully been able transition back to the civilian world. I had to do something close to a structured way of life, which is why I became a Police Officer, Firefighter and am a member of the Coast Guard Auxiliary. I will always feel more military than a civilian until the day I die.

Response by TSgt Melissa Post made Mar 2 at 2016 5:05 AM

TSgt Melissa Post — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 05:05:46 -0500

I'm afraid I will never be able to transition back. I have only been in for almost 5 years and I have forgotten how to be a civilian. It actually scares me a little.

Response by Vikki Nicometo made Mar 2 at 2016 9:07 AM

Vikki Nicometo — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 09:07:39 -0500

This is a brilliant question. I have not been in your shoes; however, I do understand the loss of identity as part of the change cycle.
When you are transitioning out of military, you are in what is known as a "liminal" stage - it's an in-between phase where you are no longer what you were, but you are also not yet what you are becoming (think catepillar in a coccoon becoming a butterfly). It is typically a very disorienting time.
I have been intending to write a blog post about this and will do so as soon as I have some spare time.
In the meantime, know that what you are feeling is completely normal!

Response by SSgt Dan Montague made Mar 2 at 2016 9:53 AM

SSgt Dan Montague — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 09:53:16 -0500

I retired Dec 2011. I still feel left out in some ways. My last base was 29 Palms. I have retired friends there. They are 500 miles away. I drove down just to visit. It was like being home. I think some of us just miss the brotherhood bond we have with each other. Civilians don't have that.

Response by MSG Charles Sr Oliver made Mar 2 at 2016 2:37 PM

MSG Charles Sr Oliver — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 14:37:12 -0500

you can't if you were in for more than 22years