Posted on Aug 7, 2016
How much of our lives should we credit to our personal decisions, and how much is just the inheritance of our culture and families?
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Posted >1 y ago
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Really good question. We are really such a mix of genetics, socialization by family and friends, opportunity, luck and destiny. A mix of equal parts and you've got the life you were born to live how you choose. The decisions you make and your dreams decide a bunch, but some people get a crap hand and some get challenges they never can overcome. But some people, despite physical handicaps, poverty, and multiple misfortunes, become leaders, and live happy, satisfying lives.
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SSG Stephan Pendarvis
yes...I think one of my greatest quotes is from the Rocky Balboa movie.
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place. And I don’t care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you permanently there if you let it”
“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done”
“Now if you know what you are worth, go out and get what you are worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that, and that ain’t you. You’re better than that”.
I try to live this quote every day. It is the way I see life. I have no goal..but to learn and keep moving forward. That's all we can do. Because the only things are certain is that we are born from one woman and we all get 6 pallbearers at the end. Live life happy...it is a choice.
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place. And I don’t care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you permanently there if you let it”
“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done”
“Now if you know what you are worth, go out and get what you are worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that, and that ain’t you. You’re better than that”.
I try to live this quote every day. It is the way I see life. I have no goal..but to learn and keep moving forward. That's all we can do. Because the only things are certain is that we are born from one woman and we all get 6 pallbearers at the end. Live life happy...it is a choice.
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Good question!
I was the product of a broken home. Mom and Dad got divorced when I was 1. At the age of 10, my Mom committed suicide. 5 Sisters and one Brother. Lived in the projects for many years. Bounced around within my family year to year. Only went to the same school from 3rd to 4th grade. I was always the new kid in school EVERY year so I hated it. If you would have conducted a poll concerning my siblings as we were growing up, I would have been voted "Most Likely to end up in Prison". Each of my Sisters have had multiple divorces and none of them personally raised their kids to HS graduation. Now I'm the most stable one of the entire crew. (scary I know...)
I broke that cycle based on my decisions. I personally witnessed and lived how NOT to raise a family. Sure I've made some mistakes in my life but I overcame the odds. I raised all three of my kids and am still married going on 29 years. Retired with a full pension at the age of 42. Currently living as far away from a city as possible because I hate being in densely populated areas. Too much crime and bullshit to deal with.
I was the product of a broken home. Mom and Dad got divorced when I was 1. At the age of 10, my Mom committed suicide. 5 Sisters and one Brother. Lived in the projects for many years. Bounced around within my family year to year. Only went to the same school from 3rd to 4th grade. I was always the new kid in school EVERY year so I hated it. If you would have conducted a poll concerning my siblings as we were growing up, I would have been voted "Most Likely to end up in Prison". Each of my Sisters have had multiple divorces and none of them personally raised their kids to HS graduation. Now I'm the most stable one of the entire crew. (scary I know...)
I broke that cycle based on my decisions. I personally witnessed and lived how NOT to raise a family. Sure I've made some mistakes in my life but I overcame the odds. I raised all three of my kids and am still married going on 29 years. Retired with a full pension at the age of 42. Currently living as far away from a city as possible because I hate being in densely populated areas. Too much crime and bullshit to deal with.
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SSG Stephan Pendarvis
I too have some of the same things happen to me. My decisions got me where I was...or we can also saw not making certain decisions too. I feel you on the densely populated areas...it is not worth it. I love peace and quiet in my life. Sometimes it just takes seeing past the "past" and not letting that affect our decisions in a negative way. Some people cannot become unattached to their pain of their past. The pain is ok...but we have to learn from it. I think that is the cause of PTSD...the attachment. Life is life and maybe I am just built different but I see everything as impermanent and I am here just to learn and have fun. I try not to take everything so serious lately....IT IS HARD! lol!! But for the most part I don't blame anyone for anything because it is our expectations that do us the most hurt in life. I am happy you were able to break the cycle....
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If you decide it is because of your inheritance of your culture and families, you have just made a decision to do nothing.
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