How much time did you spend in the sawdust pit preparing for hand-to-hand combat?

After our first session of hand-to-hand combat training in BCT, the sergeant handed a rifle with bayonet to a recruit and asked him what he'd do with it. The recruit grasped the weapon by the muzzle and tossed it far out of the pit. That's what I would've done at that point too. Luckily, I received far more of that training and practiced it for many hours in AIT and Infantry OCS. Still, I never forgot the advice of my BCT Platoon Sergeant who said, "When you run out of ammunition, go find more." That's why I found this Russian joke more than amusing...

For a soldier to apply the knowledge of unarmed combat on the battlefield:

1. He needs to lose his unit.
2. He needs to lose his firearm.
3, He needs to lose his knife.
4. He needs to lose his spade, his belt, his armor, his helmet, and everything else he could use as a makeshift weapon.
5. He needs to find himself on a plain open area without any rock, wooden stick, metal shard or anything alike.
6. He needs to meet there another useless idiot like himself.

And only after all these conditions are met they can finally engage in a fair and square hand-to-hand.

Ironically, the joke was invented and is often told by Russian Special Forces, who actually do train pretty hard for melee.