How to Decide to Leave or Stay In the Military (Part 1 of 2)

LTC Chad Storlie — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 12:47:19 -0500

Stay or Go? There is probably no greater decision for a military member regardless of their military service, military occupation, or status in the Active military, Guard or Reserve. The decision to transition is an emotional decision and you need to do your best to separate, for a time, the emotion from the practical decision making components of deciding to remain in the service or depart. The following six factors will help you determine if you should stay in the service or depart.

1. Do I Like What The People 2-3 Levels Above Me Are Doing? This is probably the single best question to help you decide to stay or go. First, look up the ranks and assess what the people who are 3, 5, and 7 years your senior are doing. Do you like the demands of their jobs? Is it interesting? Do these people like what they are doing? Are their advanced educational opportunities that you are excited about? Can you see yourself fulfilling the requirements of those jobs? If you say no, then is it possible to move into another military occupation you would enjoy? For example, if I am a U.S. Army Infantry officer that loves technology, could I move into the U.S. Army Acquisition Corps to help make design and purchase decisions on new U.S. Army Infantry equipment? If you love the military but do not like what future positions hold, then that could be a strong indicator you are ready for something new?

2. What is the True Value of My Military Pay & Benefits? What is the true economic value of all aspects of my military compensation, benefits, healthcare, access to services, and future retirement compared to the geographic location that I want to move? In short, if I live outside Fort Benning, GA today what will I need to live in San Francisco, CA tomorrow? USAA has a great calculator called the Military Separation Assessment calculator that provides a comparison between the value of your military pay and benefits and what you will need to replicate it at your new living location. Comparing Fort Benning, GA to San Francisco, CA, a service member would have to more than double their income level to have equal, not better, benefits. This calculator is meant to inform you of the totality of the value of your benefits, not scare you to stay in the military. Military members receive a great deal of “hidden” value in access to base amenities, health care, Commissary, etc. that do not exist in the civilian world. The financial planning and creating an 8-12 month emergency fund to transition from the military is an essential step.

3. What’s The Life Stage of My Family? The decision to leave for a single service member or a married service member with three children really is different. A single, transitioning service member can literally go anywhere, do anything, and need few resources to do it. A family is a completely different consideration where housing, access to good schools, transportation, medical care, and tens of other choices dominate. A service member at any life stage can separate successfully, but if you are married with children just understand that the complexity and planning involved is about 10X a single service member due to your obligations. Also, the timing for a military family to leave the service is critical to make jobs, school, and medical care work.

Once you make a decision to stay or go, then sit on it for three months. If after three months, you still feel good about it, then you have made the correct decision. The decision to stay or leave the military is a very difficult decision. By understanding your family’s life stage, the true value of your military compensation, the precise education requirements for a new career, your opinion of your military career progression, looking at the potential of new occupations, and understanding what your friends and family think of your choice, then you can make an informed decision to stay or leave the service. If you decide to leave, the first step is to create a robust, comprehensive, resourced, and detailed military-to-civilian transition plan.

Look for Part 2 of this article coming soon.

Content Provided Courtesy of USAA - Article At USAA Member Community - Going Civilian Blog

Response by SGT Larry Prentice made Feb 1 at 2016 12:49 PM

SGT Larry Prentice — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 12:49:32 -0500

I once had a 1SG that said to me, "Every man knows when its time to walk away or stay the course. When you get there, you will know if its time to go, and its my time to go."

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Feb 1 at 2016 12:58 PM

SSG Audwin Scott — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 12:58:57 -0500

I think it also depends on your love for being a service member and how close you are to retirement .

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Feb 1 at 2016 1:09 PM

Capt Tom Brown — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 13:09:02 -0500

Another tidbit of advice which has been put forward in the past is unless you are independently wealthy or can subsist on retirement or other resources entirely for greater than a year, be sure you have a decent job lined up before you get out. Ideally they have made you an offer and you have accepted, or there is some other type of guarantee on the table. All the philosophical pondering won't put beans & weenies on the table or buy the kids a new pair of shoes.

Response by SrA Karla Kiser made Feb 1 at 2016 1:41 PM

SrA Karla Kiser — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 13:41:09 -0500

That was a tough decision for me. On the one hand I had a great job, steady check (all though not great:)) but in the other hand I was confined to decisions I could make for myself. My other half (not yet married) was stationed across the country and we were long distance for 3 years. I was scared to leave because I had invested so much into the military and its all I knew. I also was afraid people might think I was a quitter. My ultimate reason; I chose a life with my husband over a military career. It was an emotional decision because I was leaving security and didn't know how to be a civilian. No degree, no resume, no civilian experience. I didn't find the transition classes very helpful and was terrified. Ultimately, I found a wonderful job but it was the fear of the unknown.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2016 3:03 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 15:03:40 -0500

Sir,
I think those are some valuable points to consider, especially point number one. Thank you for posting it.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 1 at 2016 4:22 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 16:22:44 -0500

Use a decision matrix. It will often confirm what is suspected.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Feb 1 at 2016 5:35 PM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 17:35:36 -0500

Great Post...nothing to add. Thanks for sharing. It was difficult when I originally thought about it but it came to me almost immediately. I just knew after much prayer and life situations that it was time...and I was ready. You know when you know.

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Feb 1 at 2016 7:44 PM

SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 19:44:39 -0500

LTC Chad Storlie your mind, body and soul will lead you to your decision, TRUST ME!

Response by SMSgt Thor Merich made Feb 1 at 2016 8:47 PM

SMSgt Thor Merich — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 20:47:17 -0500

Great article and questions everyone needs to ask themselves. It amazes me how folks get out with no plan whatsoever.

Response by GySgt Carl Rumbolo made Feb 2 at 2016 7:45 PM

GySgt Carl Rumbolo — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 19:45:13 -0500

So I can only speak to own experience and the counseling i have given others. When I hit the 10 year mark I decided that I would retire at 20 - there were other things I wanted to do with my life. I had a plan and I worked toward a set of goals to achieve that plan. That included honing existing skills and acquiring whatever additional skills or resources I needed to make the plan possible.

Toward the end I actually turned down certain opportunities (including promotion) because they would have incurred additional service obligation.

I saw too many folks over the years hang on to active service to the bitter end, either because they were never 'ready' to retire, or afraid of the unknown, or hadn't prepared for transition. I also saw way to many folks who just shriveled up and died because they had nothing after retirement.

You have to plan for the future - the old saying, fail to plan, plan to fail. I was fortunate - very early in my career I was given some sage advice - make a year plan, a 3 year plan, a 5 year plan and a 10 year plan - review them constantly, adjust for change - but plan. I do that even today.

Response by SMSgt Roy Dowdy made Feb 2 at 2016 10:35 PM

SMSgt Roy Dowdy — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 22:35:06 -0500

When it no longer remains enjoyable, no matter how much money you make and your quality of life, peace of mind, or emotionable well-being is at stake....it's simply time to leave!

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2016 10:48 PM

SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 22:48:40 -0500

This is great advise right here. I did almost four years of active duty and I fell into that "I know better than everyone else" when I was a know nothing Airman, and I allowed myself to be asked to leave. 7 yrs after that the guilt of not completing something I started, and the still desire serive made me join the Reserves and I love every time I put the uniform on. This year would have been my retirement year and even though I regret not staying in, the choices I made allows to carry the torch longer.
I tell many frist and second term Airman moat of what you states, and without a concrete job in place. Then stay in collect time for a pension then find a new job. Get school out of the way, gain life experience and when you retire you will be better off.

Response by SCPO Jason McLaughlin made Feb 4 at 2016 7:28 AM

SCPO Jason McLaughlin — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 07:28:04 -0500

One of the tenets of TAP class seems to be this misconception (IMHO) that you must have a passion for or love for what you do for a job after your service. Loving what you do is a luxury and with all luxuries it may not be affordable. Personally, I can do almost anything for 8 hours a day so long as the other 16 are great. If the job provides for my family, allows a respectable living standard, and allows for future planning, that is good enough for me. I don't have to "love my job".

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2016 1:01 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 13:01:18 -0500

I am really happy I stumbled upon this thread. I am currently weighing my options at this time.

Response by Patty Hernandez made Aug 28 at 2017 10:23 AM

Patty Hernandez — Mon, 28 Aug 2017 10:23:53 -0400

We'd love to invite service members to our Military Veterans Transition Playbook event in Norfolk VA. which is geared at helping active military who are looking to transition out in the next 2 years or currently retired veterans figure out who they are in the civilian battlefield. We'd love your thoughts on how to reach these men and women.

Response by SFC John Prentice made Sep 10 at 2018 2:31 PM

SFC John Prentice — Mon, 10 Sep 2018 14:31:41 -0400

The decision to stay in or get out of active duty was made for me by my first encounter with my unit's retention NCO as he said you might as well stay in as there is nothing for you to do in the outside world. I was 11H an infantry MOS and wanted to move to a more tech. job, so I got out and joined the National Guard and retired from the guard(21 years total service). During my life I proceeded to get married and have three great kids with my wife, I also became a union certified carpenter and I now again work for the Federal Gov't as a civilian maintenance mechanic. So at the time I was not happy with the way a SO CALLED RETENTION NCO TREATED ME, in the long run it really worked out.

Response by PVT John Vickroy made Aug 7 at 2019 4:46 PM

PVT John Vickroy — Wed, 07 Aug 2019 16:46:37 -0400

Leaving for Veterans Home Fresno

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 5 at 2020 11:45 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 Mar 2020 11:45:50 -0500

I wish i considered getting out sooner.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 18 at 2020 10:06 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sat, 18 Apr 2020 22:06:05 -0400

It was easy for me. My medical conditions made me irrelevant to the army.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 24 at 2020 2:56 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 14:56:28 -0500

Step 1) Am I in the military
Step 2) if yes, GET OUT
Just kidding, I'm trolling! LOL