How would you deal with a friend who displays possible fraudulent awards?

2014-10-15T09:26:25-04:00

I have a friend who was medically retired a few years back based on his injuries he received in Iraq and previous deployments. I recently met up with him last year and he had a Bronze Star w/V on his license plate and Silver Star and CIB sticker on his rear window. Now, I know this guy is a gutsy dude (former SEAL in the late 80s), so action on the battle field I would not put against him. However, when I was interested in reading his citation, I didn't see any evidence for a SS or a BS w/V on the official medal sites. I can only assume the BS is ligit since the DMV gave him the plates. I knew him as an MP, but he claimed he was re-branched as an Infantry officer later on so the CIB could be legit. Its easy to rip on people you don't know via FB, but a bit different when its your bud. Thoughts?

Response by CW2 Jonathan Kantor made Oct 15 at 2014 9:37 AM

2014-10-15T09:37:31-04:00

While it infuriates me when people pretend to have received awards they didn't, I do agree with the courts that it is a freedom of speech right. That being said, if a buddy of mine were doing it, I would have a serious talk with him and remind him that he should be proud of the awards he has earned, and not pretend to have awards he didn't. If he persisted, I would probably be personally insulted and would likely no longer associate with him. It's disrespectful and insulting.

Response by TSgt Joshua Copeland made Oct 15 at 2014 10:11 AM

2014-10-15T10:11:18-04:00

I would ask him directly, if we are really friends, he would have no issue with me asking or showing proof. If he doesn't want to or says that the citations were destroyed, its not on my 214 because it was classified, etc....you know what you have.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Oct 15 at 2014 10:14 AM

2014-10-15T10:14:58-04:00

I'd have to verify first. We all know the paperwork to expect, so we know what right looks like..

Response by COL Randall C. made Oct 15 at 2014 10:22 AM

2014-10-15T10:22:11-04:00

COL Thomas Ficarra, I would chose a fourth option. Based on your comments, you're unsure if it legit or not.

First, assuming you've known this individual for a while, what's your read on him. Does he seem to be the type that would be claiming false honor? It sounds like you have your suspicions, but are they overriding what you know about his character?

Second, you can find out by either taking a direct route (ask to see his DD214) or indirect route (FOIA request for his records). One will settle it quicker and the other will without his knowledge if you're worried about damaging your relationship.

I will reemphasize that you only have some suspicions at this point.

Now, if your question was more akin to "How would you deal with a friend who you know displays fraudulent awards?", then I think your three options are appropriate (the a fourth one along the lines of 'confront him with some other follow-on action')

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Oct 15 at 2014 10:37 AM

2014-10-15T10:37:11-04:00

Talk to him. If you are convinced he is lying then he doesn't value your friendship then consider options 1, 2 and 3.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 15 at 2014 10:41 AM

2014-10-15T10:41:28-04:00

If the gentleman were a true friend, I'd be somewhat cautious about bringing it up and the manner in which I did so, but it is going to come up.
The challenge is that for whatever reason, this fantasy has become part of who he is. Undermining part of his perceived identity will surely damage the relationship. However, there is still right and wrong. I would try and broach it by trading war stories. Key features like dates, locations, and units are identifying enough to verify facts or identify holes in the story.
If found to be a fraud, I'd gently ask him to do the right thing.
Failing that, I'd have to make a call on continuing a relationship. Depending on what it consists of, it is possible it could continue.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 15 at 2014 10:43 AM

2014-10-15T10:43:27-04:00

I would ask him about it and see what happens.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Oct 15 at 2014 11:52 AM

2014-10-15T11:52:15-04:00

I would simply ask him about it and see what he says. If he claims to have received the awards, appear to be interested and ask to see the citations. If he balks at showing them to you, that would be, as we call it in law enforcement, a "clue"... :-) At that point you could pursue it or leave it alone. I guess it depends on how you see his friendship with you.

You could also check the Military Times valor award database at:

http://projects.militarytimes.com/citations-medals-awards/

Although it is not all-inclusive, it is a start.

There are other such sites, as well, which can be found by doing a Google search.

Sorry, but page you are looking for has not been found. Try checking the URL for errors, then hit the refresh button on your browser.

Response by SPC David S. made Oct 15 at 2014 12:20 PM

2014-10-15T12:20:58-04:00

Sir I can't vote based on the facts provided. However if he is indeed making claims of valor not bestowed to him then I find that disparaging to all that have. If he is a friend talk to him and have that difficult conversation. If he is a friend then I would hope that he is honest with you and I hope he's got a DD-214 to back it. In either case you are either protecting his valor by showing him that people do care about protecting these awards or you are protecting all those that have rightfully earned these awards. My question is how are you going to handle the situation if you do find out that he has not been awarded one of these awards?

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 15 at 2014 2:43 PM

2014-10-15T14:43:34-04:00

I would see if he really IS a SEAL. There is a guy named Don Shipley who does nothing else with his time other than call out people claiming to be NAVY SEALS. I would start there first and start whittling down. As for the licensee plate it may not be that hard to doctor a DD-214 to reflect this.

EDIT: You can go to Guardian of Valor website and have them pull the DD-214 directly from a FOIA request to see if it is indeed on there.

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Oct 16 at 2014 5:30 AM

2014-10-16T05:30:32-04:00

I voted to break off but I would confront him first.

Response by COL Thomas Ficarra made Nov 3 at 2014 1:03 PM

2014-11-03T13:03:51-05:00

Thank you for all your input. I contacted my buddy a few weeks back and asked to see his certificate of both his silver star and bronze star with V. I still haven't head back from him on the topic, although he pops up on Facebook "liking" some family items I've posted. He even was in my area on vacation but couldn't break away to meet up for dinner. Maybe he didn't want to deal with it face-to-face. I guess that pretty much solidifies it for me on what kind of guy he his. Hope others don't have to deal with people like this in their social circles.