I am deploying pretty soon, and have a wife and 2-month old daughter. What are some things that I should do to prepare before I leave?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 07:40:31 -0500

Response by COL John McClellan made Dec 5 at 2017 8:19 AM

COL John McClellan — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 08:19:38 -0500

Spend time with them! Take photos together with your daughter. Make sure you and your wife know where and how to receive important base services like, in the event of medical emergencies. Does she have reliable transportation in your absence? Do you have a will?

Response by MAJ Tom Hutton made Dec 5 at 2017 8:23 AM

MAJ Tom Hutton — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 08:23:57 -0500

Record yourself reading some children's stories so your wife can play them to her while you're away. Having her hear your voice over the deployment will help reintegration. My son was six weeks old when I deployed to OEF. When he met me at the airport in person it was the familiarity with my voice helped him understand I was a part of his life.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 8:47 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 08:47:30 -0500

In addition to spending time with your family,If your unit has a deployment expo scheduled attend it. Take your wife and daughter, they generally have all kinds of different resources there. From JAG, MWR, FRG, etc.

I'd highly recommend going to JAG and getting some powers of attorney, such as DEERs/ID card section, and any housing issues. Most places will not take a general power of attorney, and they're also extremely dangerous which is why a lot of place do not accept them.

Also, if you have auto loans, credit cards or a military star card call and see if they have any special rates for deployment. Military star for example allows you to pick either zero interest or no payments due for the duration of your deployment.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 8:52 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 08:52:43 -0500

Make sure that your wife has a good support system in place, especially if you don't know a lot of people in your area. Make sure she has all the POCs for the FRG and all of those other resources so if she needs something while you're gone she can get it handled. My unit just had our family Christmas gathering and when the commander took some time to talk to the spouses, that was the biggest thing that they had to say about their previous experiences, they had no support from anyone. That can be especially rough for someone who is going to give birth or just gave birth.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 9:24 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 09:24:24 -0500

Make sure she knows how to do the things around the house that you take care of. How often to change the car's oil, how to pay the bills, who to call if something goes wrong, (garage door opener on my first deployment) Try and think of all the things that you normally do and make sure she knows how to do them all.
You'll come home to a much stronger healthier spouse if you set her up for success, you'll come home to a wreck if you don't.
Also have a good vacation before you go!
Best of luck.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 10:03 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 10:03:11 -0500

get your family involved asap.

Response by SSG Eric Haines made Dec 5 at 2017 11:06 AM

SSG Eric Haines — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 11:06:11 -0500

My first deployment after getting married and having our first child, my wife bought two micro cassette recorders. I would record thirty minutes or so, just talking to both of them, and then they would record on the other side and send it back to me. In not only helped us stay connected, those tapes today are a source of happy memories. My now almost 19 year old son even gets a little teary eyed listening to them!!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 12:48 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 12:48:04 -0500

I'm curious about this as well. I may be deploying next year and though I am single and childless, my brother is for sure deploying and he does have a wife and soon to be born child.

Response by SPC Robert Coventry made Dec 5 at 2017 12:55 PM

SPC Robert Coventry — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 12:55:32 -0500

Stay safe, Good luck

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 12:58 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 12:58:49 -0500

I am a 12N. Can I transfer from From the NG to active duty while in deployment? If yes what would I have to do?

Response by SP5 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 1:10 PM

SP5 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 13:10:56 -0500

SPC Private RallyPoint Member When you identify all of the contacts that might be needed while you are deployed - print them out and hang the list on the side of the refrigerator. No chance of a battery failure or inability to locate in a computer file if/when the information is needed. Might also consider going to a UPS store or other facility that can laminate the list as well. Good luck and stay safe and well so you can return to a happy family.

Response by SGT Tony Clifford made Dec 5 at 2017 1:40 PM

SGT Tony Clifford — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 13:40:14 -0500

First make sure that your wife knows about all the resources available to her to help while she's deployed. Get some special powers of attorney that allow her to pay bills in your name. It was mentioned by someone else, but make recordings of stories so your kid will recognize your voice. Lastly make sure your will/living will are finished. This way if you're killed or seriously injured, your wife doesn't have to spend days or weeks trying to figure out what to do if the worst should happen.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 1:40 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 13:40:29 -0500

I wont beat this thread with "spend time with family", which is VERY important, but my suggestion is financial.

Get a budget in place, some spouses get lonely and spend extra while the military member is away.

Set up and maximize your TSP. The extra pay you receive while deployed is pay you didn't expect, so don't count on it. instead save it for your future retirement. Believe me, you will appreciate it in 15 years.

Take care of yourself and stay safe. enjoy your deployment and learn as much as you can from it. It can be either miserable or a great experience. It's up to you.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 5 at 2017 2:10 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 14:10:51 -0500

I am going to answer this not as a Sr NCO, but as a father who had to leave all three of his children in turn when they were very young.
Man to man.
Anyone wants to read this and think less of me, can come see me for some quality time.

Give them a picture to look at - maybe in the mobile or the inside of the crib. Preferably of you holding her while in uniform. She needs a reminder to make that critical impression that you are her daddy.
In the same vein, have a stuffed animal or pillow that smells like you in her crib for the same reason.
Talk to her often, both before you go and as the mission allows while you are gone, so she recognizes your voice as daddy. This is good for your morale as well, as she may be talking by the time you return.

One last thing. Never, EVER take for granted the time that you have with your family, nor the sacrifice your wife is making while you are away. Thank them, but better yet show them how much they are appreciated, loved and valued by demonstrating it every day.
One of the things I did was prearrange sending my wife flowers on key days in our lives. Obviously, the big ones like our anniversary and Valentine's Day, but also days that marked our first date, the kid(s) birthdays, our engagement... things like that which were less expected. I had it planned out that there would be no more than a month between reminders that I remembered things that even SHE didn't remember. She was anxiously awaiting when the next surprise would come, and would try and get intel from me whenever we talked. If your in-laws say good job, you are doing something right.
If you want a pointer or two, message me on here or directly. I have been on this rodeo more than once.
Good luck, SPC Private RallyPoint Member

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Dec 5 at 2017 5:45 PM

Capt Tom Brown — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 17:45:09 -0500

Excellent suggestions here!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2018 6:39 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 18:39:18 -0500

Based on my personal experience, I will say start to get in the habit of writing letters. In this era it is too easy to make a call, text, or use any other electronic means to communicate. But letters, letters are very special. They will be like holding you, can be taken everywhere, and they will be there for the future, no need to backup in a hard disk or the cloud. I have been doing it since 1987, my wife keeps them all.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Feb 28 at 2018 8:01 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 20:01:28 -0500

A list of all bills and due dates, a list of paydays. Powers of attorney for the wife to cover her and the child. Contact numbers for unit/rear detachment. Maps/addresses for hospital, clinics, etc. Make damn sure she has check book/ credit cards to pay bills/eat with. Set up a allowance for yourself. Show her where all your paperwork is- enlistment, insurance, etc.