I have an issue with an NCO that disrespects subordinates. How can I maintain my military bearing when talked to inappropriately? Tips?

2016-02-18T22:33:24-05:00

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2016 10:36 PM

2016-02-18T22:36:15-05:00

Well I would highly recommend you NOT curse him out if he talks to you that way. Don't drop down to their level. There are more professional ways to handle it.

What is anywayz?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2016 10:44 PM

2016-02-18T22:44:28-05:00

Please be more concise. It will help for other to asses the situation better.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2016 10:47 PM

2016-02-18T22:47:42-05:00

Come on Foxtrot!!! We need to stay professional when explaining a situation. This is not the right way to vent. Would recommend taking some correspondence courses in effective writing. The 92G3O course through ALMS will help you out as it helped my Soldiers. If there is a problem talk to your PLT SGT, 1SG or Company Commander to solve your situation.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2016 10:48 PM

2016-02-18T22:48:14-05:00

Sorry for confusion.There is a NCO disrespecting soldiers in my unit taking down to them what are ways I can approach the NCO in ways where colony react in a negative manner

Response by SPC David Fulmer made Feb 18 at 2016 10:53 PM

2016-02-18T22:53:46-05:00

I would suggest, when appropriate, ask the NCO if you can talk with him/her in private. I would convey to them that you find it disrespectful the manner in which he/she addresses their subordinates. If they are worth their salt, they will realize that their actions are offensive and are having an adverse affect on their soldiers and the morale. I know that in my capacity as a leader, it sometimes take the observation and courage of a subordinate to call me out and hold me accountable. But there is an appropriate time and place for such a discussion. I would document the date, time, and content of the discussion and if it doesn't improve move it up your chain of command... Just my 2 cents.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2016 11:06 PM

2016-02-18T23:06:19-05:00

Good lord, Specialist. Fix yourself. Be professional, first of all. Cussing an NCO out is real bad juju. Take it from me. As quick as you got that Spc, is as quick as you can lose it for disrespecting a non commissioned officer, and it only takes your commander to remove it. Now, that being said, is this one of your leaders, and you know that he is disrespecting troops, or are you just hearing the fallout of a royal butt chewing? Get all of the facts before you decide to talk to him. If he's a team leader, you talk to your team leader and bring it to their attention, unless you are a team leader. But for God's sakes whatever you do, do not go in there, guns a blazing all hotheaded, because it's going to turn in to rock paper rank. You need to exude calm and professional. Not hot head. He still out ranks you.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2016 11:23 PM

2016-02-18T23:23:43-05:00

From SPC to SOC, Go up your chain of command and rectify this. Cursing out a superior will only get you jammed up.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 12:25 AM

2016-02-19T00:25:01-05:00

It's difficult but you just have to suck it up for the until you can talk to them in private like SPC Fulmer said. If necessary get your NCO (if they arnt the problem) or one of their peers you trust to have a private conversation. Calmly explain that the way he is speaking is offense. Do not attack him or his leadership style or whatever they were yelling at you about. Do not make it look like you are challenging their position. The NCO will either change their approach in the future or posibly become even more agressive blaming you the weak new army or whatever. However it goes down stay professional as possible. If it goes bad or he doesn't stop being offensive go to his supervisor/EO/IG/SHARP rep. Things don't always get better right away there may be push back. Do not settle for being insulted daily but do not meet disrespect with disrespect. It easily becomes a cycle that you will lose.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 1:07 AM

2016-02-19T01:07:16-05:00

Ok... I'm going to play this straight.
When an NCO emits an aura of disrespect - remember, Respect is an Army Value and reinforced regularly at all levels - there is one of two probable causes:
1. The NCO does not, in fact, respect YOU. Without any backstory, I cannot assess if this is the case, but if it is, you can bet that you did or said something along the way to draw his/her ire. It is still unprofessional, but if you want to be on the high road, it is incumbent upon you to sit down with the NCO and work to remedy the situation. If he/she just got bent at you once upon a time and is carrying the grudge, making it right will be a mighty large feather in your cap.
OR
2. The NCO is just angry at the world and lashing out at Soldiers because he/she does not respect him/herself. Maybe the home front looks bad. They got passed over for promotion. Didn't go to enough Sunday school. It doesn't really matter.
If the NCO is disrupting the unit, it is NCO business to fix it. Start low with a team or squad leader and lay out what has been going on. If there is something going on in the NCO's life to turn them into a bellicose and belligerent tyrant, it is not necessarily your business to know about, but more importantly, the NCO needs to get their head right. A good SNCO will be able to sort this out.

Can you tell me more of the story? We are going pretty much in the dark here.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Feb 19 at 2016 4:21 AM

2016-02-19T04:21:43-05:00

Maintaining your military bearing is a choice you make regardless of the situation you are in. It is also necessary for your survival in the military.

Response by SPC Matthew Birkinbine made Feb 19 at 2016 4:48 AM

2016-02-19T04:48:48-05:00

Behavioral health for yourself. It gives you someone outside of work to vent to, that isn't family. I deal with stressful situations all the time, and my wife knows my issues, but I try not to burden her as much as I worry. It gives another avenue, and often another point of view.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 10:38 AM

2016-02-19T10:38:17-05:00

Step one....read what 1SG Private RallyPoint Member posted.

Step two....re-read what 1SG Private RallyPoint Member posted.

Step three.....maintain your military bearing/professionalism.

Step four.....see steps one and two.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 10:39 AM

2016-02-19T10:39:03-05:00

Being talked inappropriately too? You'll have to define. Is this NCO using curse words as he talks to you? Or is this NCO commenting on your poor work performance that you now takin as inappropriate?
Or is it actual inappropriate shit like him referring to you by wetback or scratchback, or cholo, or any other array of racist shit. Does he make comments on your wife or mother? ... Get the picture... Real issues.

If the latter is true SPC Private RallyPoint Member the you need to take this approach.

You can't win going toe to toe with an NCO SPC Private RallyPoint Member because regardless of who is right or wrong you can easily be found guilty of disrespect. Instead find a 3rd party mitigator. not a buddy. And not of your rank, or his rank. If he's a 5. grab a 6 to provide over watch of the conversation. discuss what the guy is doing wrong. To you and to others if it's just minor levels of disrespect as ask like an adult for him to correct his issue and mannors.

If he's making racist comments, sexist comments, comments on you wife or family's, you need to go ahead and carry a small audio recorder with you and gather up some evidence on the actual wrong doing and record him. The document dtg/location/witness - this approach worked well for me for a First line supervisor who thought it ok to openly attack my wife's character and professionalism behind her back to my face consistently. Needless to say that was a test of military bearing.

Lastly is option 3 which is one of my favorites when dealing with a hardheaded useless NCO that is only in it for himself because he enjoys power over people.
This approach I call Unit Sports Day- injuries happen.

Response by SSG Skylur Britz made Feb 19 at 2016 11:42 AM

2016-02-19T11:42:23-05:00

Remain respectful!! Now that that's out of the way, try to convey your displeasure with this conduct. If that does not work go to his supervisor but do tell him you're doing it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 12:28 PM

2016-02-19T12:28:03-05:00

If you have with that specific NCO you can always pull him aside and ask professionally instead of ignoring it or runting about it. If that doesn't help go higher until it is resolved. We have no time for this kind of stuff where we can be more productive doing better things for our units and the army.

Response by SPC Michael Leggitt made Feb 19 at 2016 12:51 PM

2016-02-19T12:51:59-05:00

If he is showing his ass there is likely a reason for it. So ask yourself what are you doing wrong. Take the NCO aside and use tact ask what is wrong and how you can fix it. Although, if the issue does not lie with you. You have got to remember, we are a family and only as strong as our weakest link. That Sgt has his own set of issues on top of having to put your needs before his. NCOs are stressed out, you don't see everything they have to put up with. Now blatant attacks on an individual is a complete lack of professionalism. I am sure that it does not go unnoticed and will be dealt with accordingly.

Response by SPC Paul Tillson made Feb 19 at 2016 2:13 PM

2016-02-19T14:13:24-05:00

SPC Private RallyPoint Member I found that Respect is earned, regardless of the Rank.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 19 at 2016 3:46 PM

2016-02-19T15:46:56-05:00

How does he disrespect subordinates?

Response by SPC James Dollins made Feb 19 at 2016 8:13 PM

2016-02-19T20:13:14-05:00

I had one that said that he didn't have to respect me because he was an NCO. Which in turn made my feelings even worse! So with that I figured I HAVE to respect him for the position he holds & nothing more. So w/ that said, I kept it STRICTLY professional. There is a lot more I could say, but I don't want to bore anyone so message me if you want more info.

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Feb 19 at 2016 9:11 PM

2016-02-19T21:11:58-05:00

Like many here have said, if you really want help with the situation we need to know more.
This is going to hurt your feelings if the shoe fits:
If your instinct is to loose your bearing when responding to the NCO you may be the problem. Sometimes the angle you chose to view the situation from has more influence on your feeling of disrespect than is warranted by the actual action.

Response by SPC James Hagerty made Feb 21 at 2016 5:14 PM

2016-02-21T17:14:16-05:00

I would have to say fuck political correctness, grow a set of balls address the Sgt and situation and get to the root of the problem.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2016 4:37 AM

2016-02-23T04:37:21-05:00

parade rest..... with all do respect sgt....

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2016 4:40 AM

2016-02-23T04:40:56-05:00

parade rest....then with all do respect...

Response by SPC Wade Griffiths made Feb 23 at 2016 9:01 PM

2016-02-23T21:01:32-05:00

Get the EO rep, trustworthy NCO's involved, or take it outside the unit to IG.

Response by SPC Wade Griffiths made Feb 24 at 2016 6:51 PM

2016-02-24T18:51:41-05:00

I've dealt with ASSHOLES like this in my military career. They make the work environment hostile just because they are some miserable fucking pieces of shit who somehow got the grade of E5 and even managed to progress from there. For your own sake play the professional game when in his presence so nothing negative comes back on you. Outside of that, fuck him!!!!!!!

Response by SPC Alex Snow made Feb 25 at 2016 12:16 PM

2016-02-25T12:16:53-05:00

Remember your common courtesy. Tell them that you feel you are being talked to in a disrespecting manner. Adress them by rank if talking to you, or rank:name if someone else. Whilenyou may get smoked for ooening your mouth/involving yourself in other's business, it's the right thing to call someone out. Regardless of rank. As a specialist i weote up an e-7 for breaking regs on leaving his ID and pin at his computer whilenthe office was comoletely unsecurred. And he became the 1SG after I left. The best you can do is go to a linear chain of command (another squad leader you can trust, and raise your complaint that way. Tell them you want to speak with the next level up that you believe will address the issue. But you HAVE to give the next line super the chance to solve the issue first. Reprisal is not allowed and would be a separate issue. Make journal entries before you do things too. I'm not saying this would turn courtmarshal but it's great to have a paper trail.

Response by PFC Tuan Trang made Feb 28 at 2016 9:51 PM

2016-02-28T21:51:08-05:00

Report it to your chain of commands, your commander will talk to your Nco.

Response by SPC William Biles made Mar 1 at 2016 12:38 AM

2016-03-01T00:38:33-05:00

During incident, maintain your military bearings and take mental notes of what is being said.
Then utilize your chain of command starting with his NCOIC/OIC.

Response by SPC Nancy Claiborne made Mar 1 at 2016 11:37 AM

2016-03-01T11:37:42-05:00

Hello, I read your question. I am no longer in the military, but I had an experience such as yours while I was in the Military. I refused to re-inlist due to my feelings if my section/unit not backing me up when I knew Without question I was in the right and I took my issues to the appropriate parties. My former NCO 's x3 was so wrong it is so laughable still!
How is he talking inappropratley to you or others in your section? Is he/she hazing your or others in your group? (Supposedly Hazing is NO longer tolerated, but it still happens!!!
First thing us to request permission to gave a one on one confrrence with your NCO and ask permission to speak freely without reprisal. If permission us granted explain what or how you feel that he/she is being inappropriate in thier conversations with you or your subordinates. I would secretly record the conversation with your nifty smart phone. Save the recording just in case you need it for evidence for later use & make a copy of it and keep all your counseling packets as well for evidence. If this doesn't work take your issues up the appropriate chain. If the chain is broken and wont back or support you take it to either the IG and or nake an EO complaint.
Goid luck!!
NC retired from service

Response by SPC Javier Ortiz made Mar 3 at 2016 10:39 PM

2016-03-03T22:39:23-05:00

Respect is a two-way street. If you feel that you are being singled out, talk to the NCO one-on-one. If he or she is just power-tripping, report it. First look inside of you. The majority of NCOs are there to help mold you into the leader we expect you to someday be. You have to be able to react under pressure. Only you know if it's the NCO or you who has the problem. Look inside first, speak to your leader, but if you can't resolve the issue run it up the chain.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2016 4:51 PM

2016-03-04T16:51:30-05:00

Man, as your peer, I'm gonna square you away, Battle. Check it out;
1. The guy is a non-com. That means he outranks you. If you have an issue with him being disrespectful to you, as 1SG Private RallyPoint Member said, there's undoubtedly a reason. So bear that in mind. I don't know how you are at work, but if you're a turd at work, then you reap what you sow.
2. If it is that big an issue for you, pull him aside, offline, and talk to him. Step into an office and shoot it straight with you. "With all due respect [insert rank here], I feel like there may be a personal issue here and it is impacting the professional atmosphere in out unit, so I would like to clear the air between us." Something to that effect.
3. Seriously man, you need to suck it up. And if I was in your unit, I would be busting your ass every day to up your resilience. Because you are displaying the signature tiny-heart behavior that has brought our generation into infamy. It's an NCO that is being mean, and you got your feelings hurt. Welcome to adulthood. You're making us Joes look bad by griping about it. You're not the first one and you won't be the last. Suck it up, buttercup.
4. Check with your peers and see if you're the only one. If you are, it's personal (refer to number 2.). If not, you're being too sensitive and you need some serious MRT immediately. Or you need to recognize that the E-4 Mafia is still in effect, and they need to square you away real quick.
To sum up: quit being tiny-hearted and deal with it. Grown men don't whine about hurt feelings. We move on and take our licks. This is the Army. Not McDonald's. We are trained to FIGHT and DEFEND A COUNTRY. Not cry like a child just because someone is being hard on you. Deal with your problems, and stop complaining about them.

Response by SPC Dawn Appelberg (Johnson) made Mar 15 at 2016 7:44 PM

2016-03-15T19:44:23-04:00

I would have to comprehend just what you are saying. Is he sexually harassing you, or threatening your career if you are not doing something illegal? If that is not the case then you are in the army. Suck it up buttercup.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 12 at 2016 1:41 PM

2016-05-12T13:41:57-04:00

Do the best you can to maintain your professionalism and bearing, if needed take it up the chain

Response by SFC Charles Barton made Feb 13 at 2017 6:12 PM

2017-02-13T18:12:58-05:00

Keep them behind and tell them sense they can't do anything in the day. .they can think about it and do it while the rest is off duty and they are still doing the task

Response by SFC Greg Bruorton made Dec 2 at 2017 7:37 PM

2017-12-02T19:37:23-05:00

I recommend you approach your section leader, platoon sergeant, or first sergeant in that order--so long as they are not the culprit. If it's your squad leader then perhaps you could gain an audience with another squad leader in your platoon that you feel might help with some advice for your squad leader. If your platoon chain of command is rigidly enforced you may have to ask your squad leader if you could consult the platoon sergeant about a problem you have. Try to stay within the platoon for your solution.

When approached by the NCO who berates his subordinates make certain you respond politely and formally. Keep your temper in check and seek one of the individuals mentioned earlier.

I wish you success.

Response by PO1 Jack Howell made Dec 3 at 2017 9:23 AM

2017-12-03T09:23:03-05:00

Talk to your NCO about your concerns. If that doesn't solve the problem, then talk to your chain of command about it.

Response by SFC James William Bolt [ 40 Yards ] made Dec 26 at 2017 5:05 PM

2017-12-26T17:05:04-05:00

Disrespect beget disrespect . Respect is a two way street to get respect you have to give respect sign 40 yards

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2019 3:20 PM

2019-01-29T15:20:48-05:00

I am looking for the original post and have not been able to find it. So if you guide me to it then I will have THAT fact. With the facts given, then my original response still stands SSG. If he made those statements then of course it is out of line but as you put it, those were his thoughts. Nothing he actually did. I know NCO's, to include SNCO's who expressed their thoughts to soldiers about certain officers or commanders that were among the same lines. We're ALL human. We have to take that into account and that's what this is for. He is getting good guidance to NOT bring those thoughts to action. The mental state of these young soldiers are at stake which compromise the mission and safety of others. It's not babysitting. It's leadership through respect and understanding.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 22 at 2019 1:31 PM

2019-03-22T13:31:41-04:00

Combatives.

Response by SPC Nicholas Wood made Mar 22 at 2019 9:12 PM

2019-03-22T21:12:42-04:00

Pull him aside and remind him he is a NCO... Not saying this is going to help any due to the fact that most not all ncos that are in your job profession got promoted way to early.

Response by Cpl Rc Layne made Mar 23 at 2019 5:36 AM

2019-03-23T05:36:13-04:00

Are you actually being disrespected? Or are you whining?

Response by SFC Francisco Rosario made Mar 23 at 2019 4:35 PM

2019-03-23T16:35:22-04:00

Early in my Army career i overheard two PFCs trash talking an NCO. I (i was a SPC p at the time) told both of them that they needed to be very careful about how and where they talk about any NCO (not that i condoned the act) because they would never know who was listening to them. I also told them that they could get in serious trouble for disrespect to an NCO.

I also explained to them that respect goes both ways, its a two way street. In other words they needed to do some soul-searching to see if their actions may have caused they way that the NCO was treating them. If they thought all was ok with themselves, then they needed to see the 1SG. Everyone deserves respect, you just have to earn it.

Response by SFC David Fullmer made Mar 23 at 2019 8:44 PM

2019-03-23T20:44:01-04:00

By going to parade rest and having discipline.

Response by SPC Jonathan Fretwell made Sep 24 at 2019 10:54 PM

2019-09-24T22:54:28-04:00

Personally, I really don’t care who respected me. I just followed orders. However, I did have a problem with an E-5 who just was promoted and went hog wild. I endured multiple smokings and just kept my mouth shut. One day, I was he was going to make a critical mistake that would result in unrepairable damage to a 20 million dollar transmission. All I said to him was, “are you sure.” He replied that he knew what he was doing and shut up before I get smoked agains. Yes Sgt was my play. 5 min later I heard a crack, shit, than hell broke lose. Never saw that E-5 again.

Response by SPC Jonathan Fretwell made Sep 24 at 2019 11:35 PM

2019-09-24T23:35:41-04:00

I had an E-5 that clearly didn’t respect me. I just kept my mouth shut and took my smokings over and over. Than one day, he decided to take a hammer to a 20 million dollar Blackhawk transmission. I just asked if he was sure, he threatened me with another smoking. I just said yes SGT, 5 minutes later, Shit, bye bye 20 million dollar transmission. I didn’t know this, but my platoon SGT, E-7, had been noticing how this E-5 was behaving. Never say him again. Military bearing at all times. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?

Response by SFC James Corona made Nov 6 at 2020 12:39 PM

2020-11-06T12:39:38-05:00

If it's due to failure to follow.clear instructions I kept my mouth shut.

If it's a CONSTANT superior attitude for nothing I asked my squadleader for advocacy. On one occassion I transferred out for my "suggestions on operational improvement".
Hindsight note:
During Combat Operations there NO TIME FOR WHINING!

Response by SPC David Lewis made Nov 20 at 2020 12:39 AM

2020-11-20T00:39:06-05:00

Get a thicker skin or get the fuck out.

Response by SPC Dasan Toney made Dec 16 at 2020 9:31 PM

2020-12-16T21:31:07-05:00

I get your pain more than anybody on here, trust that. The real issue isn't about his rank,his authority, or his military bearing. Its about being a decent human being really. The problem with this is that the way they had to go to get to e5 was to just suck it up and lick your wounds later right. Im in carson, and my unit has some leaders i do and don't like, I have to remind myself that in the end its the rank I respect, and the overall authority of an e5 I respect, not the person.

If you've heard the saying if you can't best them join them, apply it. I'm not saying get e5 some people don't believe e5 is in their best interests, thats why they just do the minimum and get out. What I am saying is that if you believe jn the bull shit you take then there's no reason to take offense. It will either piss off that e5 royally, or he will leave you alone.