I love inter-service banter. What's your favorite one-liner?

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 01 Jan 2014 11:05:24 -0500

(clean versions please)

Response by CMC Robert Young made Jan 2 at 2014 1:43 PM

CMC Robert Young — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 13:43:35 -0500

Msgt, my step son is a marine so I had to ask "How did you get your head in the jar?"

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 2 at 2014 1:46 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 13:46:13 -0500

I raise your MEME with a MEME

Response by PO2 Ron Burling made Dec 29 at 2015 1:54 AM

PO2 Ron Burling — Tue, 29 Dec 2015 01:54:45 -0500

I wanted to join the Marines, but they wouldn't take me cuz my parents were married to each other.

Response by CW3 Kevin Storm made Dec 30 at 2015 3:13 PM

CW3 Kevin Storm — Wed, 30 Dec 2015 15:13:33 -0500

MAC (also known as Military Airlift Command) stands for "Maybe Airplane Come"

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2016 1:22 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 13:22:09 -0500

Army= Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2016 1:23 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 13:23:41 -0500

My Uncle served as a 1Lt Signal Officer in Vietnam 65-66 so I'm very respectful of the USMC.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Dec 26 at 2016 2:21 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 14:21:43 -0500

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2016 2:50 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 14:50:41 -0500

US ARMY = Uncle Same Aint Released My Ass Yet

MARINE = Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2016 9:32 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 09:32:12 -0500

Why does the Navy take Marines aboard ships? Sheep would be too obvious.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Dec 27 at 2016 11:38 AM

PO3 Steven Sherrill — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 11:38:08 -0500

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential
My Arse Really Is Navy Equipment
Never Again Volunteer Yourself
Air Farce
Puddle Pirates

The beauty is that the inter service rivalry is such a part of the tradition and culture, until the bullets fly, then it is everyone for each other, and may hope the bad guys are wearing their brown pants.

Response by LCpl Stephen Arnold made Jan 17 at 2017 5:33 PM

LCpl Stephen Arnold — Tue, 17 Jan 2017 17:33:14 -0500

Army wives, easiest lay in the Marine Corps!

Response by TSgt Tommy Amparano made Apr 26 at 2017 6:05 PM

TSgt Tommy Amparano — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 18:05:28 -0400

When receiving training sometimes documentation or instructions are referred to as "Army Proof".

Response by SPC Paul Shene III made Apr 26 at 2017 6:49 PM

SPC Paul Shene III — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 18:49:52 -0400

NAVY = Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by GySgt Christopher Andrews made Apr 26 at 2017 9:54 PM

GySgt Christopher Andrews — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 21:54:03 -0400

The Marine Corps is a Department of the Navy....the MEN's Department.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Apr 26 at 2017 10:16 PM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 22:16:13 -0400

@LTC( Verify to see).; Oooh..

Response by CDR Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2017 11:11 PM

CDR Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Apr 2017 23:11:59 -0400

Marine = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment

Response by Sgt John Koliha made Apr 27 at 2017 6:33 PM

Sgt John Koliha — Thu, 27 Apr 2017 18:33:05 -0400

Not quite a one liner. At an interservice club, guys were lined up at the convenience. An Air Force dude saw a Marine replace his equipment, and start to leave. He asked "Don't they teach you Marines how to wash your hands after taking a leak?" To which the Maine's replied, (wait for it) " In the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands."

Response by SGM Samuel Morris made Apr 28 at 2017 1:02 AM

SGM Samuel Morris — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 01:02:20 -0400

Why did God give Marines one more brain cell than horses? So they won't shit during the parades.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 28 at 2017 5:29 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 28 Apr 2017 05:29:13 -0400

A marine and a soldier are about to walk into a bar. The soldier sees it and stops but the marine just keeps on going, whacks his head into the damn thing, and ends up with a concussion.

Response by SPC Dennis Biesma made Jun 8 at 2017 9:08 PM

SPC Dennis Biesma — Thu, 08 Jun 2017 21:08:55 -0400

Zoomies.......Bwahahahahaha!

Response by CPT Roger Boll made May 12 at 2018 5:40 PM

CPT Roger Boll — Sat, 12 May 2018 17:40:27 -0400

What's a marine with an IS of 80 called? General!

Response by SPC Christopher Covington made May 13 at 2018 8:36 AM

SPC Christopher Covington — Sun, 13 May 2018 08:36:39 -0400

The mighty US Navy, like Uber, for Marines.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2018 10:24 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 May 2018 10:24:32 -0400

Take the US ARMY nametape backwards YES MY RETARTED ASS SIGNED US. Always a favorite but it was the best decision I have made.

Response by Sgt Joseph Tittelfitz made May 17 at 2018 9:45 AM

Sgt Joseph Tittelfitz — Thu, 17 May 2018 09:45:11 -0400

I tried to join the army until they found out my parents were married and not related

Response by CPO Joe Radich made May 17 at 2018 10:45 AM

CPO Joe Radich — Thu, 17 May 2018 10:45:25 -0400

The only good Marine is a Submarine ⚓️

Response by CPO Joe Radich made May 17 at 2018 10:49 AM

CPO Joe Radich — Thu, 17 May 2018 10:49:14 -0400

Coastie = puddle pirates

Response by CWO3 Randy Weston made May 17 at 2018 11:43 AM

CWO3 Randy Weston — Thu, 17 May 2018 11:43:56 -0400

Air Force - Civilian alternative to military service.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2018 11:52 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 17 May 2018 11:52:53 -0400

Don't be that SECNAV
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYA5OS811uQ

Secretary of the Navy 2015 Army Navy Spirit Spot

Don't be that SECNAV. Go Navy, Beat Army! #ArmyNavy

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made May 17 at 2018 12:12 PM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Thu, 17 May 2018 12:12:10 -0400

NAVY...Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2018 12:30 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 17 May 2018 12:30:50 -0400

Be All You Can Be - if that's all you can be.

Response by TSgt Tommy Amparano made May 17 at 2018 1:19 PM

TSgt Tommy Amparano — Thu, 17 May 2018 13:19:48 -0400

Are people in the Navy still referred to as "squids"?
No one beats "the chair force" though. I even love that one.

Response by 1SG Dennis Hicks made May 17 at 2018 1:22 PM

1SG Dennis Hicks — Thu, 17 May 2018 13:22:28 -0400

I pick on Jarheads because I have served with so many and have two in the family chain and its fun.
MARINES: The sound that crap makes when it hits the fan "MARINE" and The MARINES are looking for a few good men, they keep misplacing the others.
Air Force: "AIM HIGH" you'll never reach the urinal anyway.
NAVY: "FORGED BY THE SEA" 120 seamen ship out, 60 couples return
Army: Army Strong =ARMY WRONG

Response by SSG Steven Mangus made May 17 at 2018 3:54 PM

SSG Steven Mangus — Thu, 17 May 2018 15:54:14 -0400

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2018 4:24 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 17 May 2018 16:24:36 -0400

82nd ABN (AA) - All American Asshole
101st ABN - Screaming Buzzards
USMC - Uncle Sam's Misguided Children
USAF - Air Farce
Navy - Anchor Cankers
Army non Airborne - LEGS

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 17 at 2018 7:05 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 17 May 2018 19:05:21 -0400

Fit to Float!

Response by SGT Aric Lier made May 18 at 2018 4:56 AM

SGT Aric Lier — Fri, 18 May 2018 04:56:22 -0400

you know the difference of the military and the Boy scouts?? scouting requires adult leadership

Response by 2LT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made May 18 at 2018 5:26 PM

2LT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 18 May 2018 17:26:42 -0400

There was one about the Navy my cousin (in the Navy) told me. How many sailors does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to uh...yeah maybe this one is a bit outdated for 2018 standards.

Response by PO2 Joseph Palmer made May 20 at 2018 2:50 PM

PO2 Joseph Palmer — Sun, 20 May 2018 14:50:11 -0400

US Navy/Marines learn early that a diploma from the Army's West Point is VERY valuable: you can paste it up on the window of your pickup truck and park in the HANDICAPPED spaces!

Response by AN Christopher Crayne made May 22 at 2018 5:55 AM

AN Christopher Crayne — Tue, 22 May 2018 05:55:19 -0400

NAVY. Never Again Volunteer Yourself
USCG. Puddle jumpers
USMC. Bulletin sponge
BOHICA. Bend Over Here it Comes Again

Response by AN Christopher Crayne made May 22 at 2018 6:01 AM

AN Christopher Crayne — Tue, 22 May 2018 06:01:00 -0400

DILLIGAF. Do I Look Like I Give A F***.

Response by PO3 Jason Knoph made May 23 at 2018 10:50 AM

PO3 Jason Knoph — Wed, 23 May 2018 10:50:14 -0400

The only good Marine, is a SUBMARINE.

Response by SFC Richard Martin made May 23 at 2018 11:27 AM

SFC Richard Martin — Wed, 23 May 2018 11:27:27 -0400

US Air Force: For those who didn't want to really join the military.....

Response by LCpl Matt P. made May 29 at 2018 4:26 PM

LCpl Matt P. — Tue, 29 May 2018 16:26:48 -0400

Army: Aint Really Marines Yet
Navy: Ocean going taxi service
Air Force: Air FARCE
Marines: (thats me) Uncle Sam's Murderers and Cut throat, Uncle Sam's Marijuana Club, and my fav. ...U Signed the Mother-F'ing Contract

Response by SPC Kelley McMahan made May 29 at 2018 4:40 PM

SPC Kelley McMahan — Tue, 29 May 2018 16:40:33 -0400

Definition of a Marine 0311 (infantry for you nongrunts) Hamburger fed, beer cooled, nonelectric popup target.

Response by PO2 Jonewald Pyzel made Jun 1 at 2018 11:51 PM

PO2 Jonewald Pyzel — Fri, 01 Jun 2018 23:51:29 -0400

You must be at east 6'10" to join USCG. If boat sinks, you can walk ashore.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 5 at 2018 7:00 PM

PFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 05 Jun 2018 19:00:36 -0400

Navy is the Marine’s Taxi service or Uber or Lyft...

Response by SGT James Kidd made Jun 6 at 2018 3:32 PM

SGT James Kidd — Wed, 06 Jun 2018 15:32:44 -0400

The Marine emblem is an eagle standing on a beach ball with an anchor up it's arse yelling "go Navy go!"

Response by SMSgt David A Asbury made Jun 11 at 2018 10:33 AM

SMSgt David A Asbury — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:33:36 -0400

Navy Never Again Volunteer Yourself, USAF, U sure are F**k

Response by MAJ Rick Scruggs made Jun 12 at 2018 1:31 PM

MAJ Rick Scruggs — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 13:31:17 -0400

2 liner, How does a Marine pilot know whe's made a gear up landing?

When it takes full power to taxi to the chocks.

Response by Cpl James Decker made Jun 14 at 2018 1:15 PM

Cpl James Decker — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 13:15:30 -0400

The Marines are part of the department of the Navy.....yeah the MEN's department!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 17 at 2018 10:36 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 17 Jun 2018 22:36:41 -0400

Air Force = intelligence is expected, common sense is not

Response by MAJ Richard Hall made Jun 19 at 2018 10:37 AM

MAJ Richard Hall — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 10:37:14 -0400

The United States Army...because even Marines need heroes!!!!

Response by SGT Patrick Reno made Jun 19 at 2018 10:59 AM

SGT Patrick Reno — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 10:59:36 -0400

Had a Marine get me last week. ARMY- aren't ready to be a marine yet. I though that one was pretty good.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 20 at 2018 8:59 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Jun 2018 20:59:41 -0400

USMC: Uncle Sam's Missing Crayons

Response by SA Harold Hansmann made Jun 21 at 2018 10:21 PM

SA Harold Hansmann — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 22:21:19 -0400

Response by PFC Gary Dulany made Jun 22 at 2018 7:43 PM

PFC Gary Dulany — Fri, 22 Jun 2018 19:43:14 -0400

Airborne All The Way!!!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 24 at 2018 1:07 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 24 Jun 2018 13:07:20 -0400

When you got out of the Air Force, did you ever consider joining the military?

Response by SSG James Witt made Jul 2 at 2018 6:50 PM

SSG James Witt — Mon, 02 Jul 2018 18:50:54 -0400

MARINE-My ass rides in navy equipment.

Response by SGT Lou Usher made Jul 4 at 2018 9:02 AM

SGT Lou Usher — Wed, 04 Jul 2018 09:02:37 -0400

AIRBORNE ALL THE WAY.....AATW.

Response by LTC Brian Croteau made Jul 4 at 2018 9:08 AM

LTC Brian Croteau — Wed, 04 Jul 2018 09:08:54 -0400

Army: Uncle Sam Ain't Released Me Yet
Marines: Uncle Sam's Misguided Children, the Marines are looking for a few good men...any more than that would raise the overall IQ of the Corps, "You can always tell a Marine, but you can't tell 'em much"
Air Force: the Junior Service, Chair-Force, Bus Men in Blue, Army Air Corps, the only branch of service not in the military
Navy: the Marine's water taxi, Join the Navy - Don't Leave your Buddy's Behind (vs. buddies behind)

Response by SGT Lou Usher made Jul 4 at 2018 9:17 AM

SGT Lou Usher — Wed, 04 Jul 2018 09:17:42 -0400

WETSU....We Eat This Shi* Up.....AIRBORNE ALL THE WAY (AATW)

Response by SSG Steve Finlan made Jul 6 at 2018 4:18 PM

SSG Steve Finlan — Fri, 06 Jul 2018 16:18:03 -0400

US ARMY acronym, reversed: Yes, My Retarded A** Signed Up.

Response by Sgt Donald Hensley made Jul 8 at 2018 11:03 AM

Sgt Donald Hensley — Sun, 08 Jul 2018 11:03:35 -0400

I don't know about Marines building men; but in the Air Force we only accept men.

Response by SPC Patricia K. (Williams) Elliott made Jul 8 at 2018 2:30 PM

SPC Patricia K. (Williams) Elliott — Sun, 08 Jul 2018 14:30:37 -0400

I remember that one CW3 Kevin Storm

Response by MSG Danny Mathers made Jul 8 at 2018 4:19 PM

MSG Danny Mathers — Sun, 08 Jul 2018 16:19:42 -0400

RANGERS SETTING THE EXAMPLE TO MARINES SINCE 1751.

Response by SSgt William Blanshan made Jul 15 at 2018 3:19 PM

SSgt William Blanshan — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 15:19:40 -0400

Navy is nothing more than a bunch of sea going taxi drivers

Response by SSgt Bruce Womer made Jul 16 at 2018 5:54 AM

SSgt Bruce Womer — Mon, 16 Jul 2018 05:54:04 -0400

Asked why I joined the Air Force I tell them because I scored high enough to have a choice.

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Jul 16 at 2018 9:13 AM

SFC Ralph E Kelley — Mon, 16 Jul 2018 09:13:47 -0400

Response by SSG Allen Courser made Jul 17 at 2018 2:16 AM

SSG Allen Courser — Tue, 17 Jul 2018 02:16:58 -0400

I need in it first, it's only fair you get the first drink

Response by SSG Allen Courser made Jul 17 at 2018 2:18 AM

SSG Allen Courser — Tue, 17 Jul 2018 02:18:21 -0400

That's peed

Response by Capt Mike Razor made Jul 18 at 2018 12:30 PM

Capt Mike Razor — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 12:30:31 -0400

NAVY. Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by SPC Christopher Miller made Jul 18 at 2018 11:24 PM

SPC Christopher Miller — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 23:24:43 -0400

How to knock a Marine out. Throw sand against a brick wall and tell them to storm the beach.

Response by SrA Robert Schels made Jul 22 at 2018 8:54 AM

SrA Robert Schels — Sun, 22 Jul 2018 08:54:28 -0400

The Air Force is the only true branch in the military. The rest are just twigs.

Response by Sgt War Cot made Jul 29 at 2018 10:51 PM

Sgt War Cot — Sun, 29 Jul 2018 22:51:54 -0400

USMC. , Uncle Sam's misguided children

Response by PO2 W Scott Decker made Aug 1 at 2018 4:10 PM

PO2 W Scott Decker — Wed, 01 Aug 2018 16:10:36 -0400

NAVY= Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by PO2 W Scott Decker made Aug 1 at 2018 4:12 PM

PO2 W Scott Decker — Wed, 01 Aug 2018 16:12:13 -0400

If I had a dollar for everytime I heard the Marine Corps say they were the men's department of the Navy I would have retired from the Navy a millionaire

Response by PO2 W Scott Decker made Aug 1 at 2018 4:12 PM

PO2 W Scott Decker — Wed, 01 Aug 2018 16:12:59 -0400

What's the difference between the Navy and the Coast Guard?
The Coast Guard carries a big stick and when they can't touch bottom they go back in!

Response by SSG Craig Newton made Aug 2 at 2018 3:37 PM

SSG Craig Newton — Thu, 02 Aug 2018 15:37:21 -0400

My favorite is the joke where a Marine walks into the latrine and a Soldier is taking a piss. The Marine notices after the Soldier is done he is just walking out the door. He says “In the Marines we are taught to wash our hands after taking a leak”. The Soldier turns to him and says “In the Army they teach us not to piss on our hands”.

Response by SSgt Scott Ezra made Aug 6 at 2018 6:55 PM

SSgt Scott Ezra — Mon, 06 Aug 2018 18:55:19 -0400

Really, I don't like joking about stuff like that unless I really know the people that I'm joking with. I have so much respect for everyone that serves and I never want to make anyone possibly feel bad or inferior about their service.
I came home from a deployment that was just awful. One of my squad members was shot through the neck and later died in my arms while I was trying to get him to the medivac chopper. When we got back to the states I was visiting his family in my dress uniform and seeing his two month old daughter and one year old son was just a bit much so I left in tears and while I was sitting in my car trying to regain my composure a couple of Army Rangers walked by and started making fun of me saying things like, "what happened, did the cafeteria run out of your baby milk" and "did your chair break and now you don't have anywhere to sit your candy ass?"
Most of the time those kind of jokes come from a very insecure place anyway. Its people putting down others to feel better about themselves and I don't need to do such things.
That said, I do joke around with my friends all the time.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 10 at 2018 9:28 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 10 Aug 2018 21:28:50 -0400

Marines= My Ass Really Is Navel Equipment

Response by PO3 John Wagner made Aug 13 at 2018 2:06 AM

PO3 John Wagner — Mon, 13 Aug 2018 02:06:03 -0400

In response to being called squid in a deprecating fashion by a member of naval militia.
"A squid is an animal which jets along near the surface of the ocean and shits on all the marine life below."
(Yes, my brother the Marine thinks it's stupid too. I tend to agree. 18 has a way of looking incredibly stupid from 55). :-)

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Aug 13 at 2018 12:50 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:50:35 -0400

U S ARMY: Uncle Sam Ain't Released Me Yet.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 14 at 2018 3:38 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 15:38:14 -0400

My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment

Response by SPC William Szkromiuk made Aug 15 at 2018 4:50 PM

SPC William Szkromiuk — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 16:50:22 -0400

The Army uses the 24 hour clock ZULU. The **************** uses "big hand on 5 little hand on 12". Notice, how I deftly avoided getting flamed haha

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 17 at 2018 11:57 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Aug 2018 11:57:01 -0400

11Bravos. Because, Marines need heroes too.

Response by PFC Clive Heckenberg made Aug 19 at 2018 5:07 PM

PFC Clive Heckenberg — Sun, 19 Aug 2018 17:07:32 -0400

The navy can be credited with inventing sex for pleasure...... but it was the army that introduced it to women.

Response by SPC Gary Hunt made Aug 21 at 2018 10:07 PM

SPC Gary Hunt — Tue, 21 Aug 2018 22:07:11 -0400

After all of these years, why are they still looking for "a few good men"? Are they still trying to find them?

Response by 1SG Maurice P F. made Aug 26 at 2018 5:50 PM

1SG Maurice P F. — Sun, 26 Aug 2018 17:50:28 -0400

USMC = Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children

Response by SSgt Chris Loomis made Sep 3 at 2018 6:48 AM

SSgt Chris Loomis — Mon, 03 Sep 2018 06:48:37 -0400

When I managed a retail store, I met a lot of veterans and there was alway some time of ribbing. "oh, you were a marine?, Guess you didn't score high enough to have a choice!". After the banter, we would tell each other what we did to serve, where we were stationed at, etc, and almost always thanked each other for serving

Response by LTC George Shepherd made Sep 8 at 2018 6:33 PM

LTC George Shepherd — Sat, 08 Sep 2018 18:33:06 -0400

My all time favorite "Get your Hotel out of your Alpha"

Response by Maj Dale Smith made Sep 13 at 2018 2:58 PM

Maj Dale Smith — Thu, 13 Sep 2018 14:58:47 -0400

Hurry up and wait.

Response by SSgt Daniel d'Errico made Sep 18 at 2018 6:38 PM

SSgt Daniel d'Errico — Tue, 18 Sep 2018 18:38:07 -0400

The best marine sniper is in the ARMY.

Response by PO3 John Faria made Sep 24 at 2018 9:36 PM

PO3 John Faria — Mon, 24 Sep 2018 21:36:55 -0400

I ounce hearth the Cost Guard only undoes log jams in the Columbia river.

Response by Cpl Glynis Sakowicz made Sep 28 at 2018 11:00 AM

Cpl Glynis Sakowicz — Fri, 28 Sep 2018 11:00:15 -0400

My favorite is the one I heard all my childhood. My mother, Cherokee/Black/Scots/Irish/French was a USN vet of WWII. My Father was USMC, from 1941 to 1957 or thereabouts, I don't recall which year, I just recall it was after Korea... Any, my pretite little five foot tall mother would get irritated with my father's casual 'what the hell, lets see if this works' view of life and start muttering under her breath. If anyone was around that noticed, he'd give them a sweet smile, "Mixed Marriage... I'm Marine, she's Navy.."

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid= [login to see] 17307&set=picfp [login to see] 53948&type=3&theater

Glynis Sakowicz

Glynis Sakowicz added a new photo.

Response by Cpl George Goodwin made Oct 13 at 2018 7:53 AM

Cpl George Goodwin — Sat, 13 Oct 2018 07:53:20 -0400

Coast Guard - Knee high Navy. My dad (Army) used to bust my brothers balls that as soon as the water was up to their knees they would turn the cutter around.

Response by PO1 Barbara Matthews made Oct 15 at 2018 1:11 AM

PO1 Barbara Matthews — Mon, 15 Oct 2018 01:11:06 -0400

A sailor anda Marine were in the head at the same time. When the Marine finished her walked to the sink and started washing his hands. When the Sailor finished he started walking out the door.

The Marine says "In the Corps we were taught to wash our hands when we fin finish"

The Sailor answered "in the Navy we were taught not to piss in our hands"

Response by PO2 George Haskins made Oct 20 at 2018 7:15 PM

PO2 George Haskins — Sat, 20 Oct 2018 19:15:39 -0400

Marines Are Riding In Navy Equipment.

Response by PO2 Rick Fox made Oct 22 at 2018 11:36 AM

PO2 Rick Fox — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 11:36:35 -0400

NAVY= Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by PO2 Keith Stoker made Nov 1 at 2018 4:05 PM

PO2 Keith Stoker — Thu, 01 Nov 2018 16:05:12 -0400

Did you know you have to be 6 feet or taller to join the Coast Guard? That way if the ship sinks you can wade to shore!

Response by PV2 Stephen Heinz made Nov 8 at 2018 6:52 PM

PV2 Stephen Heinz — Thu, 08 Nov 2018 18:52:28 -0500

Remain calm look up and check your canopy.Really remain calm!

Response by SrA Brandon Garner made Nov 12 at 2018 10:37 AM

SrA Brandon Garner — Mon, 12 Nov 2018 10:37:08 -0500

ARMY = Air Force Rejected Me Yesterday

Response by MAJ Mark N. made Nov 15 at 2018 2:18 PM

MAJ Mark N. — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 14:18:53 -0500

You can join the Air Force, or you can join the military....

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 15 at 2018 5:33 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 17:33:06 -0500

I had a Master Chief tell me once when I was transferring from the Navy to the Army, that Soilders are just like Sailors, except you take away reason and accountability.

Response by CW3 Lysle Seelig made Nov 19 at 2018 2:55 PM

CW3 Lysle Seelig — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 14:55:11 -0500

This one is for all of us... "Military Intelligence," a contradiction in terms.

Response by PO2 Austin Dullum made Nov 19 at 2018 6:01 PM

PO2 Austin Dullum — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 18:01:31 -0500

NAVY - never again volunteer yourself

Response by MAJ Haris Balcinovic made Nov 19 at 2018 6:22 PM

MAJ Haris Balcinovic — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 18:22:58 -0500

You should visit the Disgruntled Vets and Dysfunctional Vets Facebook pages them, these comments are weak sauce

Response by PO1 Mark Rossnagel made Nov 19 at 2018 8:14 PM

PO1 Mark Rossnagel — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 20:14:48 -0500

USCG = Uncle Sam's Confused Group
USCG BM1 retired

Response by PO1 Mark Rossnagel made Nov 19 at 2018 8:16 PM

PO1 Mark Rossnagel — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 20:16:43 -0500

USCG = Uncle Sam's Confused Group
USCG retired

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 20 at 2018 3:31 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 03:31:04 -0500

Is is ‘Air Farce’ or ‘Chair Force?’ I’m not sure...

Response by SGT Donald Croswhite made Nov 20 at 2018 3:41 AM

SGT Donald Croswhite — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 03:41:37 -0500

Navy really knows how to separate the men from the boys, crowbars.

Why do Marines have tattoos on thier backs? So Navy guys have something to look at.

National Guard, when the Army's too hard.

Response by PO1 Eric Booker made Nov 20 at 2018 5:06 PM

PO1 Eric Booker — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:06:37 -0500

We had our dress blue's altered while in the Philippines. Had the inner flap embroidered with what appears to be an upside down table place setting. Fork, Spoon and Knife. We called it a "Marine serving platter".

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 22 at 2018 2:37 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 02:37:08 -0500

You can join the military, or you can join the Navy, but you can't do both! Lol

Response by Capt Gilbert Arguello made Nov 24 at 2018 11:06 AM

Capt Gilbert Arguello — Sat, 24 Nov 2018 11:06:42 -0500

Sailors and ladies wear hats, Marines and trashcans have covers.

Response by SrA Dylan Landry made Nov 24 at 2018 2:54 PM

SrA Dylan Landry — Sat, 24 Nov 2018 14:54:41 -0500

ARMY = Air force Rejected Me Yesterday

Response by LTC David Stark made Nov 26 at 2018 10:32 AM

LTC David Stark — Mon, 26 Nov 2018 10:32:16 -0500

UYAWBAG - Up yer @$$ with bugs and gas! Chemical Corps!

Response by LTC John Griscom made Nov 26 at 2018 11:35 PM

LTC John Griscom — Mon, 26 Nov 2018 23:35:21 -0500

The Army has veterinarians to do physicals on Marines.

Response by Sgt Joseph Osman made Nov 28 at 2018 12:57 PM

Sgt Joseph Osman — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 12:57:31 -0500

i tried to join the Air Force but I couldn't pass the physical. They found testosterone in my blood.

Response by PO2 Lewis Brockman made Nov 29 at 2018 3:53 AM

PO2 Lewis Brockman — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 03:53:01 -0500

For a few cents more you could have been a real sailor

Response by PO2 John Driskill made Dec 2 at 2018 11:31 AM

PO2 John Driskill — Sun, 02 Dec 2018 11:31:44 -0500

"Join the Navy and chip paint."

Response by 1SG Billye Jackson made Dec 8 at 2018 9:05 AM

1SG Billye Jackson — Sat, 08 Dec 2018 09:05:08 -0500

I came up through the 13F (Fire Support) MOS, I was stationed at Ft Campbell in 81 and they sent us to Norfolk to attend the Nave Gun Fire School. we were all Army Sr NCOs being In structed by M.C. Sr NCO's . Don't remember all the inter-service banter that went on but it was a Fun 3 Weeks.

Response by SGT Mark Saint Cyr made Dec 9 at 2018 1:14 PM

SGT Mark Saint Cyr — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 13:14:33 -0500

USMC, another word for SCUM, just the letters rearranged. That said, I rather have my jarhead friends around me going into combat...because combat is a dirty business, and where else should expect the scum to be?

Response by SGT Ernest Huerta made Dec 9 at 2018 2:51 PM

SGT Ernest Huerta — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 14:51:03 -0500

"The only thing that falls out of the sky is rain and bird s--t!" (a slap at the Airborne, say this then run like Hell!) FIGMO Fu-k It Got My Orders

Response by PO2 Richard C. made Dec 9 at 2018 6:59 PM

PO2 Richard C. — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 18:59:57 -0500

Air Force??? I thought you said you was in the military!!

Response by TSgt Tommy Amparano made Dec 10 at 2018 5:00 PM

TSgt Tommy Amparano — Mon, 10 Dec 2018 17:00:11 -0500

I am surprised no one said this one yet. The Air Force, smart enough for college but too lazy for the military. Did I mention my ASVAB scores yet?

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2018 12:54 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Dec 2018 00:54:27 -0500

When an Airman was asked by a Soldier and Marine why he joined the AF and not their services, he responded he wasn't capable of scoring less than a 10 on the ASVAB. But nothing but love brothers, nothing but love.

Response by PO2 James King made Dec 11 at 2018 4:00 PM

PO2 James King — Tue, 11 Dec 2018 16:00:11 -0500

NAVY=Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by SGT Ernest Huerta made Dec 13 at 2018 1:08 PM

SGT Ernest Huerta — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 13:08:40 -0500

Navy Sailors were once called "Swab jockeys" (mainly by Marines). This ones no longer relevant
but....Question: Why are Marines detailed to Aircraft Carriers ? Answer: So the sailors will have someone to dance with.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Dec 14 at 2018 11:21 PM

SSgt Jim Gilmore — Fri, 14 Dec 2018 23:21:35 -0500

Response by SPC William Szkromiuk made Dec 23 at 2018 12:50 PM

SPC William Szkromiuk — Sun, 23 Dec 2018 12:50:17 -0500

The Coast Guard has a height requirement of Six Foot or taller. That way when the boat sinks they can walk back to shore.

Response by SFC Raymond Thibault made Dec 30 at 2018 1:49 AM

SFC Raymond Thibault — Sun, 30 Dec 2018 01:49:26 -0500

MARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.

Response by SN Herman Lee made Jan 1 at 2019 8:23 AM

SN Herman Lee — Tue, 01 Jan 2019 08:23:19 -0500

I had a couple of army recervists ask if was mandatory to jack off when all navy seaman were called to the flight deck.

Response by SPC Brian Stephens made Jan 2 at 2019 12:47 PM

SPC Brian Stephens — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 12:47:23 -0500

"Bend over, Sweetheart, and welcome to the Navy!" Got that from MEPS, Seattle, May 1988.

Response by GySgt Jo Poore made Jan 8 at 2019 1:45 PM

GySgt Jo Poore — Tue, 08 Jan 2019 13:45:18 -0500

My favorite has always been when a Navy person tells me: Well you know the Marines fall under the department of the Navy.

I always tell them. Yes we do... We are the men's department, so where does that leave you!!

Response by PO1 William Haines made Jan 10 at 2019 1:35 PM

PO1 William Haines — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 13:35:48 -0500

NAVY = Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by PO1 Ron Clark made Jan 10 at 2019 2:41 PM

PO1 Ron Clark — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 14:41:08 -0500

The Coast Guard called the Knee deep fleet! Lol!

Response by Lt Col John Culley made Jan 12 at 2019 10:12 PM

Lt Col John Culley — Sat, 12 Jan 2019 22:12:43 -0500

A suck for SAC is not necessarily a blow for freedom.

Response by SFC William Allen made Jan 13 at 2019 9:36 AM

SFC William Allen — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 09:36:49 -0500

Army Reserve, because even the National Guard needs something to laugh at!

Response by SFC William Allen made Jan 13 at 2019 9:37 AM

SFC William Allen — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 09:37:43 -0500

The National Guard- because the Army needs to see how it's done!

Response by SFC William Allen made Jan 13 at 2019 9:39 AM

SFC William Allen — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 09:39:42 -0500

In the Army, a helicopter is called a chopper. in the Air force it's a whirley bird, in the Navy it's an egg beater. What does a Marine call a helicopter? Oh, oh, oh ( say this like a cave man).

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2019 10:15 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 10:15:25 -0500

Every service has its proud traditions. The fact that the Air Force had to borrow its from the Army makes it no less true.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2019 8:03 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Jan 2019 20:03:36 -0500

USMC= Uncle Sam's Miscreant Children or Uncle Sam's Mentally Challenged. Your choice.

Response by SSG Ken Schiffner made Jan 14 at 2019 12:55 PM

SSG Ken Schiffner — Mon, 14 Jan 2019 12:55:33 -0500

Question: Why does the Navy have Marines on their Ships?
Answer: Sheep would be too obvious.

Response by MSgt Alejandro Hernandez (RETIRED) made Jan 15 at 2019 6:40 PM

MSgt Alejandro Hernandez (RETIRED) — Tue, 15 Jan 2019 18:40:23 -0500

I'm surprised most of the Marines, Army and Navy folk can read, write, type and use a computer.

Response by MSgt Alejandro Hernandez (RETIRED) made Jan 15 at 2019 6:56 PM

MSgt Alejandro Hernandez (RETIRED) — Tue, 15 Jan 2019 18:56:08 -0500

Instead lets make fun of the Guard and Reserves. We can all agree on that right?

Response by Capt Phil Williams made Jan 15 at 2019 9:21 PM

Capt Phil Williams — Tue, 15 Jan 2019 21:21:43 -0500

Army = Aren’t Real Marines Yet

Response by SGT Anthony Etheridge made Jan 16 at 2019 12:37 AM

SGT Anthony Etheridge — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 00:37:13 -0500

Marine: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment

Response by LCpl Alvin Cooley made Jan 16 at 2019 8:50 AM

LCpl Alvin Cooley — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 08:50:21 -0500

The navy hauled us there , we kicked the door in !!! USMC. 5-69 thru 6-73

Response by Capt Claudia Valentine made Jan 16 at 2019 7:06 PM

Capt Claudia Valentine — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 19:06:04 -0500

How about road. Retired on active duty.
I always referred to myself as one of Uncle Sugar's Cookie Box Commandos.

Response by SSG Vincent Wilson made Jan 16 at 2019 11:42 PM

SSG Vincent Wilson — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 23:42:16 -0500

I heard a Marine say something nice about the Navy "We like the Navy, they keep our ships painted for us"

Response by SCPO Jason McLaughlin made Jan 17 at 2019 7:10 AM

SCPO Jason McLaughlin — Thu, 17 Jan 2019 07:10:33 -0500

Response by PO1 Harry Champagne made Jan 17 at 2019 7:40 AM

PO1 Harry Champagne — Thu, 17 Jan 2019 07:40:09 -0500

WHISKEY TANGO FOX TROT OVER,

Response by SGT Richard H. made Jan 17 at 2019 5:44 PM

SGT Richard H. — Thu, 17 Jan 2019 17:44:32 -0500

Submarine Squid: Why would you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
Me: I don't feel the need to justify that to a man who volunteered to crew a boat that sinks on purpose.

Response by CWO2 Shelby DuBois made Jan 18 at 2019 10:04 AM

CWO2 Shelby DuBois — Fri, 18 Jan 2019 10:04:15 -0500

I met a family...two doting parents and their 20 something son...They saw my Marine ball cap and his mom said glowingly..."Our son, here, is in the NAVY!"....and I said.."Oh...ok...I ' l l t a l k s l o w e r.".......He and his dad cracked up...but mom turned red faced and glowered at me....The sailor said..."It's okay Mom...we do this kind of stuff all the time." She 'hmmphed' and walked away.

Response by SFC Tim Mosher made Jan 19 at 2019 10:56 AM

SFC Tim Mosher — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 10:56:22 -0500

What do Marines call Helicopters?
"Ooo-Ooo"s - Cuz every time they see one they jump up and down, point and go "Ooo-Ooo-Ooo!"

Response by CPT Jeff Robinette made Jan 20 at 2019 1:34 PM

CPT Jeff Robinette — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 13:34:09 -0500

If you ever bring a Jarhead Lunch Remember they like the 64 flavor Crayons.

Response by GySgt Mac Rock made Jan 31 at 2019 9:47 AM

GySgt Mac Rock — Thu, 31 Jan 2019 09:47:23 -0500

If you want to know how tough the Corps is read your history books.

Response by LTC Wayne Dandridge made Feb 8 at 2019 4:02 PM

LTC Wayne Dandridge — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 16:02:38 -0500

The Navy and Airforce fighter pilot’s prayer is my favorite one liner. The prayer: God please give me the wings of an eagle, the eyes of a hawk, and the balls of an Army helicopter pilot!

Response by CPT Brock Young made Feb 8 at 2019 9:59 PM

CPT Brock Young — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 21:59:17 -0500

Why is it "once a Marine, always a Marine?".... Because when you're that dumb once, you're not going to change....

Bwahahahahahaha!

Response by SA Harold Hansmann made Feb 9 at 2019 7:39 AM

SA Harold Hansmann — Sat, 09 Feb 2019 07:39:41 -0500

Response by CDR Matthew McLaughlin made Feb 10 at 2019 12:23 AM

CDR Matthew McLaughlin — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 00:23:08 -0500

Hey, we love the Marines! Give them a ride somewhere, dump 'em on the beach, then sit offshore sipping coffee and tossing ordnance over their heads while they get all tired and dirty. Pick'em up, patch 'em up. Wash, rinse, repeat. What's not to like?

Response by CDR Matthew McLaughlin made Feb 10 at 2019 12:28 AM

CDR Matthew McLaughlin — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 00:28:54 -0500

Coast Guard sonar as they leave shore: (in a high tone) "Kneedeep, kneedeep"; as they pass the 10-fathom line: (deeper tone) "too deep! Too deep! "

Response by SPC Mike Miller made Feb 10 at 2019 5:16 AM

SPC Mike Miller — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 05:16:24 -0500

AAFES wife....

Response by LCDR Scott Stroman made Feb 10 at 2019 11:15 AM

LCDR Scott Stroman — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 11:15:50 -0500

USAF - World's largest para-military organization.

Response by SGT James Colbert made Feb 10 at 2019 5:26 PM

SGT James Colbert — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 17:26:25 -0500

Yea my retarded ass signes up (us army in reversed)

Response by SGT James Colbert made Feb 10 at 2019 5:27 PM

SGT James Colbert — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 17:27:39 -0500

Yea My Retarded Ass Signes Up

Response by SGT James Colbert made Feb 10 at 2019 5:28 PM

SGT James Colbert — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 17:28:31 -0500

REMF= REAR ECHELON MOTHER F@$%ER

Response by SSG Hugh G. Rection made Feb 10 at 2019 10:59 PM

SSG Hugh G. Rection — Sun, 10 Feb 2019 22:59:44 -0500

MARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
2 fer,
Do you know why there are Marines on Navy ships? Sheep would be to obvious!

Response by SGT Kevin Dorsey made Feb 11 at 2019 12:33 AM

SGT Kevin Dorsey — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 00:33:55 -0500

"We Marines love you Navy guys: every time we need to go fight somewhere, you give us a ride..."

Response by SGT Ernest D'Ambrose made Feb 11 at 2019 8:06 AM

SGT Ernest D'Ambrose — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 08:06:18 -0500

AATW!
To a Marine = your eagle, globe and anchor mean nothing if you can't show me jump wings

Response by CPL Rob Bartsch made Feb 11 at 2019 9:29 AM

CPL Rob Bartsch — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 09:29:16 -0500

US ARMY: (backwards) Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up

Response by LT Michaline Schalton made Feb 11 at 2019 5:25 PM

LT Michaline Schalton — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 17:25:12 -0500

NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2019 5:28 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 17:28:41 -0500

Looking like a soup sandwich.
Go get directions from the Lt.
Voluntold to do a class.
Mandatory fun/Christmas partys and such

Response by Cpl Tomas Vandiver made Feb 11 at 2019 11:19 PM

Cpl Tomas Vandiver — Mon, 11 Feb 2019 23:19:04 -0500

Air Farce

Response by PO2 Joshua Drake made Feb 12 at 2019 10:19 PM

PO2 Joshua Drake — Tue, 12 Feb 2019 22:19:21 -0500

NAVY= Never Aagain Volunteer Yourself
MARINES= My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment Sir/ Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected
USMC= Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children
ARMY=Ain’t Ready for the Marines Yet
Air Froce= Chair Farce

Response by SPC Walter Combee made Feb 13 at 2019 11:33 AM

SPC Walter Combee — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 11:33:40 -0500

We were told by my COC that we couldn't call Marine's Jarheads any longer. You can put something into a jar....

Response by PO1 Charles Babcock made Feb 13 at 2019 1:01 PM

PO1 Charles Babcock — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 13:01:39 -0500

Squid, a multi-legged sea creature that craps all over marine life :-D

Response by PO2 Michael Henry made Feb 13 at 2019 2:05 PM

PO2 Michael Henry — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 14:05:29 -0500

Not a one-liner but a true story.

So I was standing in a P-way one day on deployment. About 5 ft in front of me is the catwalk outside, I am standing next to an office with a 1 person head next to it, I am waiting for the head to open up. After waiting for about 5 minutes, I turn around to see what is going on behind me. Sure enough, a squad of Marines has lined up behind me. The first one asks me, what's this line for? I said: "this is the line to go outside". The head opens up, I "asked" him to hold my spot, I am an E-5 and he isn't E-4 yet. I step into the head, finish some paperwork and step out several minutes later. Still standing there are the Marines and more have joined the line. I went to my control room behind them, told the others what happened and they are still all lined up, see this secure the hatch and burst out laughing.

Response by SSG Dale London made Feb 13 at 2019 8:48 PM

SSG Dale London — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 20:48:27 -0500

It's not really a one liner but my favorite joke is this one:
A Sergeant Major and a Master Chief Petty Officer were in the latrine at the same time. When they finished the SGM washed his hands but the MCPO headed straight for the door. The SGM said, "Hey Chief. When I was at Basic Training they taught us to wash our hands after we pee."
The MCPO replied, "Ah, well, when I went to Boot Camp they taught us not to pee on our hands."

Response by SFC Harry H. made Feb 14 at 2019 10:53 AM

SFC Harry H. — Thu, 14 Feb 2019 10:53:44 -0500

You know what the Army calls Marines? Army sandbags. Since Marines always want to claim they are the first one's in.... Bad joke and no real disrespect intended in the making of this comment.

Response by SFC Harry H. made Feb 14 at 2019 11:09 AM

SFC Harry H. — Thu, 14 Feb 2019 11:09:58 -0500

I also love hearing Marines sound high speed and try to put down the Army by saying "they were taught to run towards the enemy". Which to my reply, I say, "yeah, well in the Army we were taught to shoot back".

Response by MSG Tim Donahue, M.Ed. made Feb 14 at 2019 1:40 PM

MSG Tim Donahue, M.Ed. — Thu, 14 Feb 2019 13:40:12 -0500

Standing in the bathroom - somebody rips a loud one - I say “Speak up Marine and quit mumbling!”

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Feb 15 at 2019 1:58 AM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Fri, 15 Feb 2019 01:58:26 -0500

Why does the Navy put Marines on their ships?
Sheep would be too obvious....

Response by 1SG Lori-Sarge MacDonald II made Feb 15 at 2019 11:35 AM

1SG Lori-Sarge MacDonald II — Fri, 15 Feb 2019 11:35:52 -0500

Me: Hey troop are you a DAT?
Troop: A what?
Me: A DAT. You know - a Dumb Ass Tanker!
Troop: Not me. I'm a CDAT!
Me: A what?
Troop: A CDAT. You know - a Computerized Dumb Add Tanker!
Me: Huh?
Troop: This is the modern-day Army asshole!

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2019 3:56 PM

Maj Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 15 Feb 2019 15:56:14 -0500

Air Force here! When we get called "Chair Force" my response is "Hey! Don't be a hater! Just because we choose to work smarter not harder!!"

Response by Pvt Chris Anderson made Feb 15 at 2019 11:18 PM

Pvt Chris Anderson — Fri, 15 Feb 2019 23:18:51 -0500

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2019 4:33 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 16 Feb 2019 04:33:55 -0500

Back in 84, a group of us were on a bus ready to leave the MEPS center in Chicago on our way to the airport to fly to our training bases when one of he guys saw some Navy guys walking by outside and said something that has us rolling.
HEY NAVY! HOW"S IT FEEL HAVING A RED ASS?

Response by CWO4 Tim Hecht made Feb 16 at 2019 8:01 AM

CWO4 Tim Hecht — Sat, 16 Feb 2019 08:01:39 -0500

Usually this will get a laugh - when replying to someone bashing my service; the Coast Guard! “Just day you would have been a Marine but they found out my parents were married when I was conceived. Don’t worry you Air Force minions I’ll have an Army Spec 4 explain it to you, using markers, flowcharts, and cartoons.

One that I heard that was said at a weekly Pentagon meeting for the CNO, USAF Chief of Staff, Commandant Marines, abd Army Chief of Staff.

The Commandant of the Coast Guard had been invited to the weekly meeting; and the Air Force 4 Star said “Why is the Coast Guard here; they aren’t even in DoD, let alone not a military service!” Fear not my avid readers for the Commandant if the Marines said: “General don’t worry. The Cosst Guard is the hardened nucleus that the other services form around in times of war and national emergency. I hear the USAF CoS turned beet red as everyone else laughed and then laughed more!

Response by 1stSgt Jeff Blovat made Feb 17 at 2019 1:27 PM

1stSgt Jeff Blovat — Sun, 17 Feb 2019 13:27:16 -0500

Marine inside a USAF dining facility. “Wow, you guys don’t have a dirt floor in here!” I heard a Marine say that in AD.

Response by PO1 Robert George made Feb 18 at 2019 2:17 AM

PO1 Robert George — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 02:17:14 -0500

Clean versions? None of the good ones that i know are!

Response by CPO Matthew Mueller made Feb 18 at 2019 9:02 PM

CPO Matthew Mueller — Mon, 18 Feb 2019 21:02:24 -0500

The U.S Navy calls us Coast Guardsmen puddle pirates...not quite, someone had to make sure Navy wives had good looking children! ;)

Response by MAJ Mark N. made Feb 22 at 2019 10:18 AM

MAJ Mark N. — Fri, 22 Feb 2019 10:18:28 -0500

You can join the Air Force, or you can join the military!
Rangers Lead the Way!!!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2019 11:54 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 11:54:59 -0500

Slightly off topic, but TOO good not to share. We support a FA BN and we affectionately call the gun bunnies "crayon eaters." Myself and several of the other officers and NCOs purchased over 3,000 crayons, filled 3 mermites (1 for each battery) and placed the special delivery with a cache resupply. All of the COs thought it was hilarious; however, one of the batterys got butt hurt and threw the mermite into woodline. Good times!

Response by Capt Karlos Nordinsifeller made Mar 2 at 2019 10:45 PM

Capt Karlos Nordinsifeller — Sat, 02 Mar 2019 22:45:04 -0500

Communication issues: “secure that building”. Marines: locate close with and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver or repell enemy assault by fire and close combat. Once secured turn over to follow on forces. Army: set up sectors of fire, supplemental tactical and protective obstacles, establish a watch and support rotation and hold until properly relieved. Navy: Sweep, swab, lock windows and doors and shut off lights. Air Force: take out a lease with an option to buy.

Response by CPT Robert Boshears made Mar 2 at 2019 10:53 PM

CPT Robert Boshears — Sat, 02 Mar 2019 22:53:32 -0500

Being told I was going to be a Deck Ape in Vietnam. The comment came from me: Nah, there’s no job called a Deck Ape.

Response by SPC Americo Garcia made Apr 3 at 2019 8:31 AM

SPC Americo Garcia — Wed, 03 Apr 2019 08:31:44 -0400

MARINE - MY ASS RIDES IN NAVY EQUIPMENT.
NAVY - NEVER AGAIN VOLUNTEER YOURSELF.
ARMY - AIN'T READY TO BE A MARINE YET.
AIR FORCE - ALL FARTS
MARINE - MUSCLES ARE REQUIRED INTELLIGENCE NONE ESSENTIAL.

Response by PO1 Scott Cottrell made Apr 4 at 2019 10:26 PM

PO1 Scott Cottrell — Thu, 04 Apr 2019 22:26:40 -0400

Marine: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What do you call a marine with an IQ of 180? A Platoon.
Note a retired Marine Gunny told me those jokes.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 7 at 2019 5:56 PM

CPO Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Apr 2019 17:56:26 -0400

Why do you have to be 6 feet tall to be in the Cost Guard...so if you ship sinks we can walk to shore.

Response by SPC Cesar Freytes made Apr 8 at 2019 9:43 AM

SPC Cesar Freytes — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 09:43:48 -0400

I tried to join the navy but failed the physical..... they found out I was a man.

Response by SPC Cesar Freytes made Apr 8 at 2019 4:09 PM

SPC Cesar Freytes — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 16:09:19 -0400

You guys are the only reason I miss the military, I do not use social media but this forum is good, it has done good for my soul, God Bless America and all its vets and serving members even you national guard, except for the fake ones and the Navy. Just kidding Navy the rest of us will play along and make you honorary.

Response by SPC Cesar Freytes made Apr 8 at 2019 8:15 PM

SPC Cesar Freytes — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 20:15:12 -0400

Look what the frick you started

Response by Maj John Bell made Apr 8 at 2019 8:33 PM

Maj John Bell — Mon, 08 Apr 2019 20:33:10 -0400

Army! Be all you can be.

Response by SPC Cesar Freytes made Apr 13 at 2019 5:57 PM

SPC Cesar Freytes — Sat, 13 Apr 2019 17:57:43 -0400

God the both of you are frisking ugly

Response by PO1 Cliff Heath made Apr 15 at 2019 4:38 PM

PO1 Cliff Heath — Mon, 15 Apr 2019 16:38:25 -0400

NAVY "THIS IS A NO SHITTER"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2019 12:51 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 18 Apr 2019 00:51:41 -0400

A - ir Force
R - ejected
M - e
Y - esterday

Response by CPO Jacqueline Hardman made Apr 20 at 2019 7:36 AM

CPO Jacqueline Hardman — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 07:36:44 -0400

Marines Are Riding In Navy Equipment.
Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Response by SSG Dale London made Apr 24 at 2019 6:00 PM

SSG Dale London — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 18:00:34 -0400

Said by an MOH recipient who was also BDE CSM to a young 2LT who berated him for not saluting (and called him "sergeant" in the process).
Digging into his pocket and producing a dime, the CSM says, "Here you go, sonny. Call your mother and tell her you're in the REAL army now!"

Response by PO2 David Allender made May 2 at 2019 3:49 AM

PO2 David Allender — Thu, 02 May 2019 03:49:09 -0400

I always like the U.S. Army quote: Army of ONE!

Response by SGT Jim Wiseman made May 27 at 2019 9:26 PM

SGT Jim Wiseman — Mon, 27 May 2019 21:26:43 -0400

One of my favorites is a quick joke:
What do they call a helicopter in the Army? A chopper
What do they call a helicopter in the Navy? A bird
What do they call a helicopter in the Air Force? A whirlybird
What do they call a helicopter in the Marines? (Pointing at the sky) Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2019 10:15 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 31 May 2019 22:15:18 -0400

Marine- Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential
Army- Air Force Rejected Me Yesterday
Navy- Need Any Vaseline Yet
And to those who call us “Chair Force” I’ll have you know I’m a proud Chairborne Ranger!

Response by Capt Michael Brown made Jun 3 at 2019 12:27 PM

Capt Michael Brown — Mon, 03 Jun 2019 12:27:07 -0400

The Navy,, It's Uber for Marines.

Response by SPC Robert DeVolld made May 10 at 2020 3:54 PM

SPC Robert DeVolld — Sun, 10 May 2020 15:54:34 -0400

MARINE= Military Asshole Riding In Navy Equipment

Response by SPC Paul Shene III made Jun 8 at 2021 11:16 AM

SPC Paul Shene III — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 11:16:01 -0400

Army in the field "This sucks!"
Army Rangers "this sucks a little"
Marines "It needs to suck MORE hoorah!"
Navy "it must suck over there"
Air Force "no cable? this sucks!"

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 8 at 2021 11:39 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 11:39:20 -0400

My
Ass
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment

US Army backwards
Yes
My
Retarded
Ass
Signed
Up

Response by PO1 John Crafton made May 7 at 2022 8:47 PM

PO1 John Crafton — Sat, 07 May 2022 20:47:54 -0400

NAVY - Never Again Volunteer Yourself