I'm about to leave AIT to PCS to my duty station and I need information on being a geographic bachelor. Should I wait to get married?

CPL Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 16:47:07 -0500

I want to get married during my leave, before I pcs to ft.campbell, but my spouse eill not be comming with me. Should I wait to get married?

Response by SGT Eric Davis made Mar 6 at 2018 5:07 PM

SGT Eric Davis — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 17:07:16 -0500

Well if you are trying to get separation pay you might not get it. Also is it a duty station you wife can go to? If so then you might as well get married now so you can get the BAH but not separation pay! What reason is she not coming with you?

Response by SGT Joseph Gunderson made Mar 6 at 2018 6:43 PM

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 18:43:24 -0500

Please don't get married as a PVT.

Response by SGT Matthew Sesar made Mar 6 at 2018 7:21 PM

SGT Matthew Sesar — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 19:21:17 -0500

Wait.

Response by SGT Philip Roncari made Mar 6 at 2018 7:36 PM

SGT Philip Roncari — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 19:36:02 -0500

Wait!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2018 9:25 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 21:25:48 -0500

It's your choice, however, I would wait until you have at least three to six months of expenses in a savings account after a deployment or two. I don't know your financial situation, though. You could be richer than all of us and have a trust fund or something.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2018 10:20 PM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 22:20:48 -0500

Why would you get married so young and with little life experiences and self growth? Like everyone is trying to tell you above, wait until you have figured out what you are going to do when you grow up and your girl friend works on herself and her education or trade. Does she have a degree or a trade? Please tell me that her goal is not going to be a stay at home wife.

Response by SSG Keith Amacher made Mar 7 at 2018 12:55 AM

SSG Keith Amacher — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 00:55:17 -0500

Life is hard for a soldier married under E5 SGT you have no say about your duty and that can and will lead to Divorce. It happened to me... Ft. Campbell, Ft. Bragg and Ft. Hood especially are not conducive to your marriage.

Response by SGT Mark Halmrast made Mar 7 at 2018 7:36 AM

SGT Mark Halmrast — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 07:36:20 -0500

Well, here's what I observed during my time.

For guys w/girlfriends heading in to basic, one of two things happened: Dear John, or marriage.

For the guys that got married while home on leave, they went on to live in a trailer off post somewhere.

Ahe'd be tired of sitting around all day while he is on post or deployed and would start going home to her parents.After a couple years, or months, they split. She moved back home and he'd get on with life. Unless they had a kid by then. Then it got more complicated.

That's just what I observed. Not saying that is your situation. Am saying it is what I saw happen as the norm.

Response by SGT James Clark made Mar 7 at 2018 9:55 AM

SGT James Clark — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 09:55:34 -0500

Do not get married now enjoy your military time, maybe a year or two down the road then get married.

Response by MSG Floyd Williams made Mar 7 at 2018 10:57 AM

MSG Floyd Williams — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 10:57:32 -0500

PVT Morriss...I don't think any young soldier starting out should get married, first get yourself adjusted to military life, second make more rank to increase your pay, third do some research on being married and military life from creditable leaders and peers. Fourth think about the deployments keeping you away from your spouse and future family, fifth discuss this matter with your girlfriend/fiance' about being away from home and adjusting to an new environment, and sixth planning for her future as a military spouse, what she want to do to make quality of life better. Military is a demanding lifestyle, and requires a lot of sacrifice on couples.

Response by SPC Jerry Jones made Mar 7 at 2018 11:19 AM

SPC Jerry Jones — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 11:19:02 -0500

Wait! I saw a lot of soldiers (below Sgt. rank) get married, and almost every one of them failed. The stress of transfers, being in the field for long periods, housing, bills, etc. tore apart their marriages. The military is a learning experience, so experience it, and then get married. If your "soon to be" really loves you, and you love them, it can wait.

Response by SFC Greg Bruorton made Mar 7 at 2018 11:44 AM

SFC Greg Bruorton — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 11:44:35 -0500

Get some stripes first because it will be your responsibility to care for your wife and any children coming along.
When I was a private I thought my girlfriend would wait for me. Instead, I got three "Dear John" letters within four months. She didn't have the staying power needed to be an Army wife. That turned out for the best in the long run.

I strongly suggest that you wait, at least until you achieve the rank of E5, before the commitment.

Response by PO2 Jon Van Bibber made Mar 7 at 2018 12:49 PM

PO2 Jon Van Bibber — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 12:49:29 -0500

If I were you, I would wait until settled in for awhile, maybe wait until a couple of promotions, being a newly wed and not together is tough. Your possible/probable deployments will be tough enough. In the end its your decision. I advise wait, plan and save.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2018 1:18 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 13:18:28 -0500

Wait.

If that doesn't work...Wait.

Response by SGT Carl Blas made Mar 7 at 2018 4:00 PM

SGT Carl Blas — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:00:55 -0500

Keep focused on your service, everything will come later.