I'm up for reenlistment, but I'm torn between reenlisting and getting out. What should I do?

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:32:42 -0500

I wanted to give everyone an update on what I have decided. I am going to reenlist because I don't feel I have done everything that I wanted to do in the military thus far. Also I am now transferring into a unit where I will already be MOSQd for the job of 12B.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Jan 25 at 2015 12:40 AM

CSM Charles Hayden — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:40:34 -0500

SPC Cody Voye, I also did/do love the Army for what it is/supposed to be. As a young E-5 at Ft Lewis, the SNCOs would have me "check", their barracks on Friday nights so they could go home and be with w/the family. I listened, took my discharge and went into the USAR and later the Guard.

I was fortunate to raise a family w/o deployments during the Cold War era. Remaining in a reserve program satisfied my desire to be in the military and it all worked out for me.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 12:54 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:54:34 -0500

Have you thought of perhaps moving to another state or another unit somewhere else or are you boxed in due to you're MOS? Have you considered the National Guard?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 12:56 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:56:26 -0500

I to ran into that decision just a few months ago. I was passed my contract date so I extended a year to deploy with my wife. being overseas changed my perspective on what it means to have these soldiers as a family......so yeah I re-up'd. You need to get into deep thought on this one and weigh in the good and bad, which one is heavier? I chose to stay because I have young troops that depend on me, it's only 1 weekend a month and something else as a backup for retirement. I'm in the reserves. You have plenty of ppl that care, branch out more or just simply ask for help. Hit me up on here anytime Brother....

Response by PO1 Fitzroy Farquharson made Jan 25 at 2015 1:10 AM

PO1 Fitzroy Farquharson — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 01:10:13 -0500

in your hart what do you want?, then do it!

Response by PO2 Stephen Brinkley (Scott) made Jan 25 at 2015 2:05 AM

PO2 Stephen Brinkley (Scott) — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 02:05:30 -0500

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member here is some food for thought...
1. Do you have a bachelors degree?
2. Does your military job translate to a civilian job?
If you cannot answer yes to either you need to stay in start working on your degree and also attempt to change your MOS. If you answered yes to both, I would take a step back, think about your options and as PO2 William Allen Crowder stated it's your decision. If you answered yes to 1 but not 2 then you will have a 50/50 chance to find a good paying job. Depends on what is home to you or whether you are willing to go where the good paying job is. If you answered yes to 2 but not 1 I would stay in and get your degree.
This is why I have posted my comments the way I did. First, I really never cared about having friends. I had acquaints and that was enough for me. If the NCO that you consider good is new, who cares, ride his coat tail and learn from him. Second, if you need to try to get into a new unit. Third, I was a very senior E-5 in the Navy and was an Electronic Technician. When I left I thought the multi-million dollar training I had received was enough to land me a good job. Well it wasn't, thankfully I remarried and my wife who has three degrees and a great paying job was able to keep our heads out of water and I was able to go to school full-time without worrying about working. I will graduate in March and will find out Tuesday if I have landed a job very close in pay and benefits to what I had before I left. I know that I just gave you a lot to think about, but don't hesitate to ask me any other questions.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 6:48 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 06:48:51 -0500

This is a question you have to answer for yourself, if you let other people make this decision for you it could end with regret on your part. Also please remember if you feel burdened by the rough patch you are currently having there is no weakness in asking for help.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 10:06 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 10:06:15 -0500

SPC Voye, you've asked a time old question that has befuddled many young service-members. I agree with PO2 William Allen Crowder, SMSgt Minister Gerald A. Thomas, and Sgt Gene Spanos ideas.

First and foremost, what are YOUR goals in life? What is it you want to do? If you enlisted with thoughts of making the military a career then what path are you wishing to go down in order to facilitate the goal?

Second, in line with the above, what are you doing to improve yourself whether MOS related, civilian education, military education, or personal education? Stay on top of this. I implore you to not make the same mistakes many of us did, especially me, when we were in. Keep yourself busy with college classes.

Third, again in line with the first, it looks like you are in the reserves. Have you considered going active? Like SMSgt Thomas mentioned, the civilian world is crazy hectic for jobs and stability. Going active would open up so many doors for you to include assignments in various locations as well as units. There are so many positives to going active that override any negatives someone may have. Something to consider.

Fourth, there may not be many who care in your unit but I would posit there are some. In addition, you're on a website with a lot of great people spanning every rank, every branch and nearly every MOS who DO care about the welfare of our brothers and sisters. I can list at least a hundred people in my contact list alone who would do what they can to help including myself. Don't hesitate to seek guidance from any of us whether young or old, veteran or retiree. I'm sending you a friend request so you know my door is open for you. I'm tagging several of my friends who have a lot of experience and wisdom with this.

SSG Daniel Deiler, Cpl Brett Wagner, MAJ Carl Ballinger, SGT Richard H., 1SG David Niles, CPL Charles Brown, LCpl Steve Wininger, SPC Danny Eldridge, SPC Chris Lanaman, MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca, SSG V. Michelle Woods, SSG Robert Burns, SFC Mark Merino, 1LT John Martin, MSG Private RallyPoint Member, CW5 Private RallyPoint Member, Cpl Dennis F., SFC James Baber, SFC John Gates, LTC Private RallyPoint Member, MSG Brad Sand, LTC Private RallyPoint Member, SFC Brian Lehnhardt, SFC Private RallyPoint Member, 1LT Scott Doyle, SSG Gerhard S., 1LT Shawn McCarthy, Capt Jeff S., SFC Private RallyPoint Member, SSG Jason Neumann, SPC Jeff Daley, PhD, MSgt Private RallyPoint Member, CPT Private RallyPoint Member, LTC Jason Strickland, SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA, SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL, SFC Private RallyPoint Member, CMDCM Gene Treants, CSM Private RallyPoint Member, SGM Mikel Dawson, GySgt Private RallyPoint Member, SSgt Private RallyPoint Member, PO2 Ed C., LTC Private RallyPoint Member, Col Private RallyPoint Member, SGT Private RallyPoint Member, SGM Private RallyPoint Member, Cpl Private RallyPoint Member, CPL Jesse Still, SFC Private RallyPoint Member.

Response by LCpl Steve Wininger made Jan 25 at 2015 10:24 AM

LCpl Steve Wininger — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 10:24:19 -0500

There is wisdom in much counsel, but ultimately the decision is yours.

My advice, research all your options and take into consideration all the advice you get here. Seek the advice and counsel of your family and resources you have on base.

Good luck, and remember, everyone of us is here for you, all you have to do is ask.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 10:31 AM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 10:31:02 -0500

Don't make a long term decision based on a short term problem. Look for options like transfers, etc. I retired based on short term thinking and wish I had really thought about it. How you deal with this challenge is an indicator of how you will live your life. This could be a turning point in your life.

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Jan 25 at 2015 10:41 AM

Sgt Packy Flickinger — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 10:41:02 -0500

If you have time, shop around for a job before your reenlistment. This may make the call easy.

Talk to a transition counsellor and see what then can do for you.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 10:50 AM

SGM Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 10:50:19 -0500

Like you, SPC Cody Voye, I spent the majority of my career in the Reserves. I found that it helped me in my civilian life, to do something MUCH different 1 weekend every month. If you take a good look at your life, you'll find that every problem you have will still be there outside of the Reserves. 1 weekend a month doesn't create all the issues you are experiencing.

There are people who do care, but there's less support for Reservists than our active duty counterparts, and you have to do a lot more of the looking. There are plenty of possibilities: fraternal organizations like the Masons, faith-based organizations, helping people out, going back to school, changing your MOS, are just a few of the myriad of possibilities to change the course of your life.

From my own life, nearly every time I reupped, I changed unit, MOS or something. It meant more schools I had to attend or getting used to a new unit, but I was active in managing my career or I wouldn't have retired with a star on my collar. Reenlistment time is the ONE guaranteed opportunity you have to learn something new, try out a different unit, follow your 1SG or whatever you want to do.

I also am a volunteer teacher at a church which offers free GED classes. There are lots of people who need help and my problems aren't so big when I can help someone else.

Maybe your unit could use some help. It didn't hurt my career, but I made a point of finding the jobs no one else wanted to do, and taking them on. (Reenlistment NCO, NBC NCO, section sergeant over a team with a pile of old, broken, and useless equipment, etc.) There's another way to put some fire back into your career.

Life is becoming more lonely for everyone. Instead of real friends, that you sit on your porch and chat with, we have electronic "friends" that we never meet, and we don't let people know what our daily struggles are. Depression, being an island, loneliness, and friendship are in YOUR control more than anyone else's, and you'll have them whether you reup or not. So my first suggestion is find someone you care about, help them, and you'll find more people who care about you.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 11:09 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 11:09:17 -0500

This is really a personal question, I enlisted for only 3 years and for one reason or another 13 years later I'm still here. This can only be answered by looking at your current path you got going in your service. If you like what has been offered to you thus far, if you know you have what it takes to give, mentor, teach, lead others behind you, then; reenlist. But if there is anything out there that can give you a joyful feeling on a daily basis then go pursue that line of work. You HAVE to do what’s right for you. I will tell you the same thing I tell all my soldiers thinking of leaving the Army to go venture in the world, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SOLID PLAN AND YOU FOLLOW YOUR PLAN. Talk to your retention NCO, he should be able to help you see both sides of the card. Whatever you do just make an educated decision. Good Luck!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 11:11 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 11:11:33 -0500

On a caveat, there is a ton of people who care! I CARE! You are in the right place to ask your question. As I said, just make an educated decision.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 12:24 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 12:24:46 -0500

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member if you love it stick with it. However you can go to another unit. You can drill during your MSO and reclass if you want to reclass to another job at another unit. You also have the option of going to National Guard if you they have 12B there. You would need to talk to a recruiter about that though. It is a process to transfer components.

Worse case if you are 6 by 2, which it looks like, you can drill during your last 2 years and then reenlist at the end if you want as a test. There is a push to reenlist everyone, but do not be forced to reenlist under conditions you do not want. Also look at the bonus to see if you have one now or if there is none. You have basically 2 years to decide.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jan 25 at 2015 1:07 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 13:07:13 -0500

Good of you to ask the question SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member. Get what you can while you can. Right now a junior service member in the military is the better place you could be career wise. If you haven't earned a college degree, get one and the Army will pay for part if not all of it depending on which part of the GI Bill you qualify under. Get in touch with a career councilor civilian and/or military and get some guidance.

Do your MOS and civilian job go hand-in-hand or do you have 2 totally different jobs? For me they went hand and I wanted it that way because the experience worked both ways. For others they prefer to do something different in their MOS as a change of pace. Ask yourself which scenario you'd benefit more from.

It appears you are an Engineer in an MP Bde. Is that combination working for you or would you rather be in an Engineer Bde? You were with the 411th and this good man LTC Private RallyPoint Member is a Company Commander in the 417th En Bn under that Bde. You may want to see what he has to say.

I was always the lone commo guy in a sea of MPs or Infantry so I know that feeling. Even as an O I had to fight for my seat at the table. I imagine it must be tougher as a junior E to do the same. You need an NCO watching your 6. Use your chain of command to build a bridge off that "island". Make sure that new team leader understands - through demonstration - your value and MOS if different than yours.

Would a change in MOS, unit or location be a "new" start? Are you locked into your location due to family or other factors? Would a year in the IRR to get your civilian side in better shape help?

These are all things that you should and I hope you do consider before leaving altogether. Best of luck. Remember that you can always seek me and the other esteemed members of our community out for help at any time!

Response by SGT Jim Z. made Jan 25 at 2015 2:28 PM

SGT Jim Z. — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 14:28:06 -0500

SPC Cody Voye,

I assume you have IRR time after your enlistment and this is the advice I gave my Soldiers do 8 years minimum that way you do not owe Uncle Sam time in the IRR. Talk with your BN Retention NCO and see what your options are I know up until 10 years unless it changed you pretty much can do what you want I know I had duty station of choice twice. However, if you are leaning toward getting out remember that when looking at civilian employment remember to factor in that you will be paying for healthcare, meals, housing therefore, that IRS statement that you get yearly saying how much you "made" that is your minimum salary approximately. Also read the other comments as there appears to be some good advice. Good luck with your decision.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 2:54 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 14:54:41 -0500

I know exactly what that feels like. Needless to say i am currently getting out but i have a job that transfers to the civilian world. And cheer up! you have everyone on here to help you though. You just have to ask and you shall recieve!

Response by 1SG David Niles made Jan 25 at 2015 2:54 PM

1SG David Niles — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 14:54:52 -0500

I had to make this same decision when I hit the ten year mark, my daughter was not adjusting well to moving all the time, and my boys were about that age to start school. I wanted them all to have some stability and the ability to grow some roots in a community. So I got out and joined the Guard so that I could do what I loved to do and my family could have something to call their own. You have to weigh all your options, goals and family.

Response by SFC Steven Harvey made Jan 25 at 2015 3:28 PM

SFC Steven Harvey — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 15:28:14 -0500

If you love the Army and hate the people reenlist to PCS somewhere else.

The thing about the military is that people do grow tired of units and the people. Sometimes a unit will be the shining example of what a good organization should be, move forward 2 years and it could be a terrible unit if the morale changes and you get failed leaders coming in.

It's why we PCS, to keep spreading the good and the bad around to prevent a unit from staying in a poor state of affairs.

I've been in bad and good units and I've seen units change from good to bad, bad to good.

Ultimately what matters is you and your future. For me, I knew what right looked like, I know what good training and leadership is. I looked at it like I knew I needed to pass that knowledge along so other Soldiers and NCOs could continue to pass that knowledge after I eventually retire.

What I don't want to happen is see good Soldiers not get the opportunities to excel and have a good ecosystem where they can see what the Army can be. They'll get out in disgusted and poor Soldiers and Leaders will remain because to them it's normal.

If your set on getting out just make sure you have a plan, an education and some savings to go along with it.

We are spoiled somewhat in the Military since we get free healthcare, food and housing. Leaving those benefits behind will take awhile to get used to.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Jan 25 at 2015 4:15 PM

Cpl Dennis F. — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 16:15:59 -0500

My little contribution: I joined with the intention of being a career Marine. Early on I declined OCS and flight training (I was very young) to become a tanker. Other than training my total enlistment was all combat. I excelled in the field but also had the sense to foresee that I was not going to be a very good garrison Marine. All of that personal initiative and individualism (read, bat shit crazy) I had used in the field would hinder not help me stateside. I chose to get out early, in hindsight perhaps I should have gone on to OCS and learned to fly? What ever the case, I took a great deal away with me from my Marine experience that made for a very interesting and exciting civilian life. It is really all what you make of it.

Response by SFC Stephen P. made Jan 25 at 2015 4:18 PM

SFC Stephen P. — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 16:18:03 -0500

What did your career counselor tell you?

Response by SGT Bobby F. made Jan 25 at 2015 5:41 PM

SGT Bobby F. — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 17:41:32 -0500

SPC Voye, you and I are in a similar situation. Something I encourage you to keep in mind is that having friends is a great thing, but not the most important thing. Ultimately, you are the one that is going to care the most about you and your career. The picture I've attached is how I weighed my options, in a quick and dirty flow chart style, but ultimately this is your decision. No one can make it for you, but I hope us being close in TIS and about to re-up or get out helps.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 5:43 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 17:43:48 -0500

Spc Voye,

From your question it appears your torn between getting out or staying in based upon the trying and tiresome times youve had. I can tell you theres no place of employment to include self employment that will allow you to escape trying and tiresome times.

If thats your only deciding factor I suggest you stay in. There will be many more units and different situations you will find yourself in if you stay in long enough. Some better some worst but if you love the Army like you say and you allow tiresome and trying times to push you out you will be come one of the many I hear as a recruiter saying I wish I would have stayed in. This is only a stage a season a trying time that will blow over stick it out young man you wont regret it.

Response by SSG Jason Neumann made Jan 25 at 2015 9:23 PM

SSG Jason Neumann — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 21:23:38 -0500

Here is my take on this issue. From your profile you are in the Reserves, so you have a form of civilian and military life. Currently, you are in between jobs, which would be hard on anyone. I don't know a whole lot about the Reserves and how it all operates, but from what I have heard it is fairly difficult to progress up in rank and can be somewhat uninteresting, depending on your unit.

Have you ever thought about going in as Active Duty or even attempting? From previous experience of helping a Soldier like this, they had to get released from their current unit in order to go Active Duty. It can take some time doing this, but in the end I think it would be a better experience. This would also help in that, between jobs area. It might be a gamble heading over into Active Duty, since there is a draw down in effect.

If you have any admiration in pursuing college, it would definitely be a great opportunity to help gain a foothold while Active Duty, but it is completely up to you in order to pursue that. Some leaders, will actually work with you in pursuing a college degree, but it is mainly on your own time.

It might be the environment which you are in, that is affecting how you might think of your unit. Maybe, a change of scenery might be in store for you. Have you put in for additional training? Airborne, Air Assault, Pathfinder, Ranger, Sapper, Arctic Survival Course, Combat Breach Course and the list goes on.

Try to change something that will better your situation.

Response by AN Thomas Heath made Jan 25 at 2015 10:38 PM

AN Thomas Heath — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 22:38:28 -0500

Don't reenlist as enlisted, reenlist as an officer! Get out and go get a bachelors and then go to OCS and finish out your 20!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 25 at 2015 10:42 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 22:42:31 -0500

Check out 29E or 35L.

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Jan 25 at 2015 10:48 PM

SSG Trevor S. — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 22:48:24 -0500

Have you explored the option of an alternate drill unit? I was all ramped up to give you some active duty advice until I noticed you were Reserve. That advise would have been to explore ALL your options. I guess it still holds true. Do you have job opportunities that may move you out of your unit's area? If they are good opportunities it may be time to jump on that train. Can you get retraining? That may make civilian life a better as well as help change your unit.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Jan 25 at 2015 11:18 PM

SGM Erik Marquez — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 23:18:33 -0500

What I often told those that had uncertainty based on the unit, not the life, not the job, not the mission was ... wait.,, and remember, sooner or later you or they will PCS.... The ever changing personnel is a pain at times, but it also ensures fresh blood or a fresh unit.

After that, if it's no longer fun, then get out..... but make sure you have a plan.

Response by SSG Gerhard S. made Jan 25 at 2015 11:49 PM

SSG Gerhard S. — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 23:49:00 -0500

Spc, Just throwing a few things out here. I did 3 years active duty, then 19 years in the National Guard, including a tour in Iraq.

I don't know if you're Active duty, Reserve, or National Guard, but it's worth considering a change from one to the other. I ended up in a great Airborne unit when I went NG and though we had a few leadership problems, both in theater, and out, I had the honor of serving with the best bunch of men I've ever known.

A little story here... When in the guard I would extend/re-enlist for 1 year at a time (except the ONE time I was eligible for a bonus). My Commander joking looked at me when he swore me in and said "Sgt Seidel.... 1 year, Really?" I told him Sir, there's no telling who'll be in charge of us next year..... The lesson, if you can, take it 1 year at a time, that way you don't feel trapped, AND it gives you the opportunity to enlist elsewhere.

Don't ignore your civilian opportunities. If you're active duty, it can't hurt to prepare for a civilian job. get a degree, or learn a trade. If you're in the Guard, or Reserve, the same applies.. don't stop growing my friend. I started a Firefighter Career at the age of 35 (I wish I had started much sooner.) and I was promoted to Lieutenant last year.

Regarding your present situation, realize that some units and their leadership culture is simply toxic, or you just may not be a good fit into their style. Don't be afraid to check out other units if that's possible, even if you have to drive further. We had guys driving up to Michigan from Georgia and Tennessee for Drills in my National Guard unit.

Here's another thought... Again, I don't know if you're Active, Guard, or Reserve, but if you like your 1SG, you could ask him/her to keep an eye out for a slot for you in his/her new unit.

Since you like your new team leader, you could work with him to work on culture change from the bottom up. Be a leader. Work to change the culture one person at a time through the enforcement of standards, through bringing people UP through training and excellence.

The point is, you DO have a lot of options, but you can't be afraid to move outside your comfort zone. You can't be afraid of change. Remember, even if you do something you may regret, you still have the possible options of going back, moving forward, or setting out to the left, or to the right. It's your world to discover my friend, and unfortunately, nobody can make those decisions for you.

I hope my words give you food for thought, and help you to decide on a decision that results in positive results for YOU! Take care... We're here for you, there's a lot of experience on this site, and a lot of caring people.... sometimes they're even the same people.:-)

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2015 9:14 AM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 09:14:07 -0500

All great advice here! One thing that I tell junior Soldiers when they come up to their reenlistment window is this: IF you decide to get out, the job possibilities are far better if you get out as a NCO than a junior Soldier. Why? Because NCOs equate to managers in the civilian world. Junior enlisted equate to entry-level (read: do you want fries with that?) employees in the civilian world. If you can tell a potential employer that you were a NCO, that you had responsibility for 4+ other Soldiers, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, etc. your marketability goes up. If all you can say about your time in the Army is that you took orders and did your job, that's not very impressive.

With that said, I can empathize with what you are feeling. While my ETS is still a few years away, and I am older than you, I am asking myself the same question. My wife is totally in favor of me getting out, as she does not want to move again. But I have some NCOES schooling left, and that may lead to a promotion. So I am leaving my options open for now.

As for you... Only YOU can decide what is right for you, but being young and having your whole life and career ahead of you, make sure you do what will benefit you over the long-haul, because it is far easier getting out than getting back in these days!

Response by CMDCM Gene Treants made Jan 26 at 2015 10:00 AM

CMDCM Gene Treants — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 10:00:05 -0500

Okay SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member time for some hard truths. You are a SPC and you love the Army, or at least the reserves. You stated that you want to be at the Tomb of the Unknowns, well, no reserves there that I know of. Your Unit has not met your needs and you have no friends there; Army in not a place to make friends unless you have shared experiences, Do you?

You have NO civilian job and your Reserve job is not bringing in very much money or satisfaction either. Do you have any skills that will get you a job that will pay your bills? It is time to take care of Cody and figure out what is best for YOU.

I may sound as if I dont care,but I do Cody. You are really at a decision point and have a BIG decision to make. Join the army, Stay in the Reserves, Get out and find a real job. If you want someone who cares 100% for you , buy a dog. Even a wife will give up if you do not make a decision soon. I am here if you want to talk.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Jan 26 at 2015 11:48 AM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 11:48:25 -0500

As someone who got out at 8 years, and just passed the 20th anniversary of the day I joined, it would have been nice to have stayed in.

I don't regret the decision I made. It was the right one at the time. I had to choose between my career and my family, and family comes first.

But... had there been a way to make it work, I would have.

I enjoyed my time in the Corps. I enjoyed what I did, the people, the places, and the things. Most of all, the opportunities.

The Civilian world has opportunities, but the cost of those opportunities is "different." It's much higher in a lot of ways.

The best part of the military is it lets you figure out what you really want to do, and work towards that goal, while you are still in, and then make that huge transition all at once. It doesn't have to be at retirement. It can be at 8, 12, 15years or whenever. But... Having a nice little pension check does help. Having more paid for education helps.

I'd caution anyone against getting out, unless you are ready to get out.

Unless you can say "Yep, I'm ready" then there's a good reason to stay in. There's a certain comfort in always having three squares and a cot. Don't get complacent... but use the resources to figure out what you want to be "when you grow up."

When I got out, I became a government contractor and hated it. Found other jobs which I loved, and liked, and hated, but over all the most enjoyable was the Marines.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2015 11:18 AM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 11:18:44 -0500

I was in the same boat as I am sure many have been over the years. There are a lot of opportunities both in the civilian work force and in the military. If you have served your time honorably and are finished with it “get out”. I would be one of the first to thank you for your service, however I would say please don’t judge the entire Army on one duty assignment. Talk to your re-enlistment NCO and see what options are out there for you. If you can find something that appeals to you and you think you can progress and continue to try to make the military a better place then Re-enlist.
The main questions you have to answer to yourself: Why did you join the service? Weather it was to better yourself with schooling or to start a new career field, did you accomplish that goal? Are you happy separating with the progress that you have made towards that goal? If you have and you feel that you have nothing more to offer or gain from the military then I believe you have already made your decision.
I hope you make the correct decision. Good luck, as I know it is a difficult one.

Response by CPT Chris Loomis made Jan 27 at 2015 11:40 AM

CPT Chris Loomis — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 11:40:47 -0500

All the answers I've read so far are spot on.

My original intention was to present a blunt question: What do you have waiting for you on the "outside?"

As for not liking where your at in the Army, please, remember that it's not the Army as a whole.

Try to transfer and/or get into a school that interests you. Make a change. Control your destiny as much as you can....

Utilize the resources at your disposal. Look into furthering your education. That will help you in and out of the military.

Regarding friends, there are more than enough avenues within the military and in the civilian world to make friends. It sucks to live "on an island," and I've been there. However, my thought is this: At the end of the day you are your own man (or should be) and need to heed the words "to thine own self be true." Im not saying, "screw everybody.... I'm out for myself!" What I'm trying to get across is that good, solid, through thick and thin type friends are hard to come by. And you need to do what is right for you and be comfortable in your own skin.

For me, honestly, the not having friends thing was my issues. Bluntly, I was just an asshole. I'm not saying you're an asshole. What I'm sharing is my experience so you hopefully can get something from it.... For me, when I took a good honest and fearless inventory of myself the problem was clear.... Crystal clear. As we all know "change is an inside job." When I looked at who and what I was I made the effort to correct my ways and made every effort to be a better man. And don't get me wrong. I'm certainly nowhere near perfect. But I've made some really significant progress. That said, today my life is filled with and full of good people and some really amazing friends.

Just my $0.02 worth....

Response by Cpl Jeff N. made Jan 27 at 2015 8:50 PM

Cpl Jeff N. — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 20:50:41 -0500

You received a lot of good advice from many seasoned folks. I will make a comment or two about self reflection/introspection. In your comments you made a few remarks that stood out to me.

1. My unit seems to do everything in their power to put me on an island
2. I have no friends in this unit
3. The only good NCO is a new one (that may not know you well)
4. I have nobody that cares for me.

Also you had another post about wanting to wear jewelry that some in your unit have challenged you on. Your position is to buck it and try to get them to see it your way.

The reason I listed all of this out is some honest self reflection might be good. Why do you have no friends, why are you being put on an island etc. Finding answers to these questions might get you in a better place with your unit and the soldiers in it. You may need to consider your approach to people and how you interact with them etc.

We all have blind spots regarding our behavior. Asking some of your NCO's for some candid feedback about yourself might be good. When I was in we didn't need to ask, they were pretty direct. Perhaps these days it is not as clear. Not trying to be critical just thought some introspection might be good.

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Jan 27 at 2015 10:21 PM

SPC Stewart Smith — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 22:21:11 -0500

I got out and never felt happier. I have a great job and I love my life. However, some say the same about the military. It's really how you feel.

Remember this - You can get out and go right back in if you don't like the civilian world. There is a reason you have to sign such a long contract in the military.

Response by SSG Sean Riley made Jan 28 at 2015 6:33 PM

SSG Sean Riley — Wed, 28 Jan 2015 18:33:36 -0500

If you truly love it stay with it. If you decide to get out have a plan!!! The civilian life isn't bad, but you have to plan it out, and have many contingencies in place. Plan on attending college or university, a degree is everything!!! Also have a plan to re-adjust to civilians, they are a trip when you first get out. Good luck Kiddo in whatever you decide what to do!!!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 12:19 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 00:19:28 -0500

Look at your options. You're guard now, consider the reserves. The reserves have more funds for orders if you need a pay check. The reserves are also not quite as old buddy and you can go really as far away from a prior unit as you're willing to drive. It's not just stay or go with where you are.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 1:26 AM

SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 01:26:51 -0500

SPC Voye,
First off I am NCO I care about all soldiers well being even if you don’t know you. My suggestions are make a Pro’s and Con’s list then compare. I have a few questions/tips I would like to ask you.

1 Are you marred and if so do you have kids?
- If yes how will you support them (food, medical and ETC)
Keep in mind now that the ACA ( Affordable Care Act) you must provide health care coverage to you and your family and of you don’t you will be fined IE (FY 14 95.00 USD person that you clam on your tax return, FY 15 295.oo Per person and FY 16 795.00 Per person)

2. Are you eligible to reenlist? (no flags, bars and ETC )
- Are you in a over strength MOS (http://armyreenlistment.com/reclass.html) look at the in and out calls if your MOS is black or blue you are good to go however if it is red you have two choices option 1 (needs of the army) option 3 (Army Training/Reclass)

3. What can you do for the Army (don’t get confused it’s not what can the army do for YOU.)
- Can you inspire soldiers to achieve their maximum potential
- Can you lead and develop soldiers

4. Are you still committed to the army, if you can still say you love getting up and doing your job then you are better off than most people.

At the end of the day it is up to you and it’s your career take charge of it before someone else does. Talk with your company re-up NCO to make an appointment with your BN career counselor.

P.S. if you have any questions feel free to ask me anytime.

“NCO’S Lead the Way”

Response by MSG Sean Milhauser made Feb 21 at 2015 4:30 PM

MSG Sean Milhauser — Sat, 21 Feb 2015 16:30:25 -0500

SPC Voye, as an Active Army Career Counselor I can't necessarily speak to the reenlistment part of your question as it pertains to the Army Reserve. However, I can say that whether you are in the military or in the civilian world, you will face these types of challenges as you go through life. You will have good bosses and bad bosses. You will encounter co-workers that will work well with you and then others that won't. One key is first, understanding this is a part of life, and not just the one job you're doing right now. Second is to have the resiliency to cope with changes, be they better or worse.

When I speak with young Soldiers on their first enlistment that want to leave because of their current leaders, or current duty station, I tell them to NOT make the mistake I made, and get out based solely on your first experiences in the services. You can change your location and discover some great lerders or a great new duty station. If you do love the Army, weigh out the pros and cons before you make a firm decision. Good luck!

Response by SFC Christopher Perry made Mar 4 at 2015 12:00 PM

SFC Christopher Perry — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 12:00:28 -0500

This is the third post by SPC Voye I have taken the time to look over. I am saddened by the fact that this young man starts these conversations that typically turn into lengthy in depth and informative threads. Unfortunately, he does not participate in the conversations at all. Well okay, so I have noticed one time where he responded, so I assume it happens now and again. This particular conversation was quite literally loaded with great advice and information. When you don't care enough to participate in a conversation you start I simply see no reason to engage.

Response by HN Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 15 at 2015 9:59 AM

HN Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 15 Mar 2015 09:59:07 -0400

The real question is, "Am I stable enough to get out and support myself/my family?". If you think you have the money to get out, find a job, and still be fine then by all means you can do that. If you aren't stable then you should probably just cope and reenlist. All in all you should weigh your options and do what you feel comfortable doing. This is your life and no one can make your decisions.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Mar 17 at 2015 2:24 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 14:24:09 -0400

Ask yourself this question.

Are you ready to get out?

Don't stay because you have no other options, but because it's time to go. The military has A LOT to offer, and there's also a lot to put up with. It can be rewarding, or it can be a pain in the #$%^$#. But be here because you want to be here. Because if you stay in for any other reason, you'll regret it and you'll hate it. Likewise, if you get out and you weren't ready, you'll regret it as well.

Don't worry about the people in your unit. People change. There were always people I disliked at various stages of my career. There will always be people you don't care for. That's the nature of the beast when organizations change people every 2-4 years.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 18 at 2015 11:56 AM

COL Charles Williams — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 11:56:12 -0400

You have to make your decision SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member based on what will make you happy. Staying or leaving because of people in your current unit is a bad criteria. You have good and bad in all units, and life on the outside will be no different. The Army and life is what you make it. You can't control the others.

I was in your shoes more than once. But, this might help....

- As a young MP, I was on my first enlistment, and was close to leaving to become a AK state trooper... but, my wife was not thrilled with Alaska, and I figured a little more experience might be better to land a state trooper job. I was offered an academy slot in AK, but wife was not feeling it... So I reenlisted, and next was OCS...

- As a 1LT/CPT, I had finished my 3 year service obligation from OCS, and was close to getting hired by the FBI. I applied for the FBI as I was in an awful unit. I really was done with the Army after 8/9 years. I was in a horrible unit, with an toxic command climate, wherein all the officers, and most NCOs were miserable; many officers were getting out. A good friend of mine just got out, (he had a Bachelors and Masters), and after a year of searching he landed a job with the United States Secret Service (he is still there as a senior director). I was still leaning towards leaving, but also wanted to PCS to another unit, and see if it was me, the unit, etc. I really wanted to be Company Commander; that was my goal when I was commissioned.

- I still had time to decide, so we were off to Fort Drum NY, via the MP School for Captain's School... On the way from Captain's School to Drum, we stopped by my Buddies House, and we discussed my options... He told me "If you are leaving the Army, because of the people, don't leave." He said those same toxic and difficult people are on the outside, and unlike the Army where your peers and supervisors help the new guys, and want you to succeed... You don't have that on the outside; no camaraderie, etc. He said they don't talk to the new guys, unless you are working too hard and making the other agents look lazy... or slow... So, that was what I needed... No always greener on the other side..

- So, I Commanded and Drum, and the rest was/is history.

- I had several more decision points, at 20, should I command a battalion, should I stay... when you should I go... when is the right time... So this became my screening criteria after I was a Major, and observing a bunch of disgruntled LTCs and COLs on a MACOM stuff (USAREUR):

1. I would stay so long as I was having fun, and the Army had a job for me; that is, I was on the A team, and the Army was seeking/asking me to do specific jobs.

2. I would leave, when the Army no longer had a job for me, a need for me, I was no longer on the A team, and I had to go looking for jobs. I was not going to hang around if I had to look a place to work.

I hope this helps. Thanks for your service and good luck!!!

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2015 12:29 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 12:29:15 -0400

I believe the best choice for you is one that is from the heart and not based on what's logical or common. If you're doubting the reenlistment, then its more than likely you will doubt it throughout that enlistment. A contract in the military is a significant amount of your life, especially at a young age. We're at our best and there's many other possibilities in life than just reenlisting once more. Understand that and it may help you decide.

I'll give you my personal experience and what I chose to do. I finished my enlistment with the Marines in 2010 and mainly left because I was tired of being micromanaged and treated like a child and realized that no matter what rank I achieved it will remain the same for me. At that age and time in my life I didn't want those chains on me. I had doubts in my second year and was thinking beyond military. I joined college instantaneously and just completed my bachelor's degree in business administration in April of 2014. I was a motor transport operator by trade in the military and I knew that I didn't want to pursue that on the civilian side. Being aware of the difficulties in ascertaining employment, I still attained my CDL in NY in the event things went sour. I've had plenty of opportunities to work but nothing that even came close to making me passionate about it. I gained employ doing government contracting overseas for a bit(primarily for the 90,000 salary) but finished that off and went back to the drawing board. What I'm trying to tell you is that it is indeed difficult to gain employ on the outside, especially when you live in a city(NYC). There's plenty of jobs, but plenty of competition too. It is not impossible though. I did miss the camaraderie and the sense of belonging that you simply cannot gain in any other employment known to man. I joined the Air Force Reserve to continue my commitment and keep that part of my life close to me. I may suggest that you consider remaining at the least tied to the hip in the reservist sense and maybe change occupations too. It's kind of the crawl before you walk mentality rather than just throwing the deuces to it and leaving it all in one shot.

Do not remain enlisted because of fear of surviving in the civilian sector. If you made it this far, you'll be just fine out in the world. Don't leave just because people are people. People out in the civilian sector will be as insensitive, egotistical, and egocentric as they are in the military. Don't base your decision on people whom are irrelevant. I had nothing but racist Marines in my first duty station in 08, was the only hispanic and definitely felt the loneliness but that didn't affect my decision on leaving. I bet our brothers and sisters can all relate to a time where they felt alone but it shouldn't be a determining factor in reenlisting. There should be some sort of program for enlisted members of your branch that hold community activities and such. My version of that was the single Marine program in the Marines. I loved it and did so many volunteer activities. I still reflect on them to this day. There you will meet people of good character and maybe something more than just the regular ol shitface shenanigans you encounter at your local military bar. I hope you have found a good role model, brother or sister whom can relate and help you push through your decision. The world is a cold place but that doesn't mean there aren't people out there willing to share some warmth. Keep searching for good people and make a conscious effort to try new things as well.

FIND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, EVEN IF IT TAKES A LIFETIME. IN YOUR SEARCH YOU WILL AT LEAST START REALIZING WHAT YOU DONT LIKE. YOU MIGHT JUST GET LUCKY AND FIND YOUR PASSION EARLY ON. BEST OF LUCK!!

Response by MSgt Roger Younce made Jun 19 at 2015 12:20 PM

MSgt Roger Younce — Fri, 19 Jun 2015 12:20:30 -0400

Congrats! Smart move.

Response by Sgt Tammy Wallace made Mar 2 at 2016 6:07 PM

Sgt Tammy Wallace — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 18:07:13 -0500

reenlist. everyday I wish I had stayed it. it is tough being a civilian. no one cares about you out here.

Response by SFC William Farrell made May 15 at 2019 12:50 AM

SFC William Farrell — Wed, 15 May 2019 00:50:23 -0400

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member I did four year on active duty, took a three month early out to serve one year in the Reserves. I thought Id do my one year and get out. I had my father and father in law, both WWII vets keep telling me to stay in. I figured Id get out. I started having a good time with the reserves and kept reenlisting. I did a total of 22 years in the reserves. I live within walking distance of Naval Station Newport and use all the facilities there. I have my retirement, my health benefits and cant complain. I am glad i stayed in.

Response by SSG Robert Velasco made Jul 16 at 2020 8:06 PM

SSG Robert Velasco — Thu, 16 Jul 2020 20:06:27 -0400

Good choice. You're already ranking up , the job pool in the civilian world is dog eat dog, the benefits are great in the military and you're always greeted with new adventures. I miss it and should have stayed.