What advice do you have for someone being accused of having an improper relationship? What is the worst that can happen to me?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 02 Feb 2022 23:35:34 -0500

So I definitely screwed the pooch on this one long story short I'm in a situation where I am being considered for a UCMJ for an improper relationship with a soldier.

I am a promotable E5 who just got to Germany four months ago because of Covid I haven't been able to really meet a lot of people in the company however I knew that Soldier was a E1 one who was getting out of the army.

Three months of being here I saw the said soldier working at Popeyes on Post in a Popeyes uniform with a beard out of regulations I asked him why he was working there and not at work and he told me he was out the army at the time he told me that he got his DD 214 signed and he was pretty much just a civilian in the area now.

The soldier also had an apartment already off post and I just assumed especially when he showed me his DD 214 that he was out.

He invited me to his DD 214 party and I went because I knew civilians there that I was friends with and I drank alcohol which led me to not want to drive so I stayed on his couch. I ended up oversleeping and my plt SGT came looking for me and a soldier within my unit who was kind of being spiteful told him that they thought I lived with him which is not true and so they went to his home and found me there.

Soon after I was counseled for UCMJ for a improper relationship I put on the counseling that I was under the impression that soldier was no longer a soldier. That I was there for his DD 214 party and overslept.

The flag just recently got initiated but now I'm in a place of anxiety because they are making it seem as tho this discharged soldier is still in the army although I was under the impression that he was out and he signed the DD 214 and that was it.

Because this discharged soldier is just an acquaintance once all this start happening I completely stop speaking to him however I am now beginning to wonder if he wasn't completely finaled out at the time or what but I'm now worried about what's gonna happen with me I have been in the army for over nine years so at this point if I was to get to demoted I would have to RCP.

Mind you I've never had a counseling before this is my first counseling and i'm completely new to the unit.

Within my career of being in the army I've never purposely had a improper relationships so this really is hitting home for me because if I knew the soldier was still in the army I would definitely have not went but now I'm in this situation and I'm just trying to see what's the worst that can happen and also any advice or anything?

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Feb 3 at 2022 6:03 AM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 06:03:41 -0500

Being at someone’s home does not account for improper relations. If you are giving the whole story, at the very best warrants a written counseling or reprimand.

If you had a deeper relationship than indicated you do have an issue. It is easy to prove someone’s separation date, you simply verify the information with the S1, and the former Soldiers orders and all should be fine. You do have to contend with the missed duty as you stated up front, your NCOIC had to come find you. There appears to be sone missing components here.

Response by CPT Lawrence Cable made Feb 3 at 2022 8:59 AM

CPT Lawrence Cable — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 08:59:03 -0500

What's an improper relationship in today's Army? Former S1, I never saw a NGB22 or DD214 processed until someone was walking out the door.
Are they threatening to charge you with fraternization? If that happens, go see Trial Services. Can't get kicked out for being a homosexual, even if they had absolute proof and from what you are saying, that isn't the case anyway.
You can be counseled for anything, good or bad. If I had to go fetch your young ass as a commander, you would have gotten both informal and written counseling, the written not being nearly as loud or rude, although I may have left that part of the job to the 1SGT. Then I'm sure that my 1SGT would find a place for you on that additional duties rooster until we made sure that this wasn't habitual.
Go talk to your Squad Leader, Platoon Leader, 1SGT and CO. Give them your side, admit the mistake and hope they will be reasonable.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2022 9:34 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 09:34:03 -0500

I got accused of stalking and intimidation by another NCO that I had to make a statement about for fraternization. How was I stalking and intimidating her? By driving down the only street to get to my house which just so happened to be on the same road.

With that being said, if you didn’t do anything wrong, you have nothing to be afraid of.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Feb 3 at 2022 10:53 AM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 10:53:16 -0500

Go see the JAG defense council now. Make a list of the others at the party who can support your story. Be cooperative and contrite with your chain of command.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2022 11:42 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 11:42:57 -0500

Worst thing? UCMJ with possible loss if rank (depending on how bad they wanna push it). That being said, if it can be proven that the 214 is valid and discharge orders are in place, then the inappropriate relationship charge is moot. Now, as for being late, that's on you. I applaud you for not drinking and driving, but since you clearly had to work the next day and missed work call, that's on you. I recommend you seek JAG time now. Or, if you want to wait (I don't recommend this), wait until the Article 15 is read to you and you're given your time to get your defense lined up. Again, if the 214 and discharge orders are in place for that other person, then you should be good on that.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Feb 3 at 2022 1:28 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 13:28:50 -0500

Look young'un, being accused and being found guilty are 2 different things. See if you can get statements from the other fellow, see if he is actually out. Most importantly see JAg!

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Feb 4 at 2022 12:20 PM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 12:20:01 -0500

Being late can't be fought because that seems cut and dry but validating whether the 214 is legit is key. Considering it was a party to celebrate getting out it should be an easy day. Just keep your head down and nose clean. You are under the spotlight and anything you do will be multiplied while under scrutiny.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2022 2:27 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 14:27:16 -0500

Nothing productive to add, but the unsaid obvious:

"I knew that Soldier was a E1 one who was getting out of the army."

Find better acquaintances.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Feb 4 at 2022 3:59 PM

MSG Thomas Currie — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 15:59:05 -0500

Your story seems unlikely at several points, but if the basics are true then you are unlikely to face UCMJ action for an "improper relationship" and the JAG would probably advise against it to any commander who brought such a case. Hopefully by now you realize that an "improper relationship" does NOT require having sex, but it does require some sort of an ongoing relationship, which you claim was not the case.

If your story is true, much of your problem is the soldier who told your platoon sergeant you were living with this (former?) soldier. Your platoon sergeant is quite reasonably assuming that if you were living with someone you must have had an ongoing relationship with that person. Even if the soldier who told him you were living there was "being spiteful" he had to have had some reason - and probably some basis - for that kind of accusation.

The reaction of your chain of command is probably not so much about an "improper relationship" with a private, but more about your improper relationship with someone who the chain of command considers unacceptable as a person. I don't know why your friend was kicked out of the Army (and I doubt you do either), but choosing to fraternize with someone who was being (or had just been) kicked out of the army shows very questionable judgement for an NCO.

Your problem is greatly exacerbated by the further bad judgement of getting drunk on a night before work then failing to get up the next morning. Let's face it, you didn't just show up a bit late for work, you were late enough for your platoon sergeant to become worried about where you were, to make inquiries about you, and then to go to the apartment and find you STILL THERE! How many hours were you "late"?

I started out by pointing out that you are probably not going to be facing UCMJ action for an "improper relationship" with a private -- but you certainly could (and I think SHOULD) face UCMJ action for violation of UCMJ Article 86. According to article 86(1) of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), a failure to repair includes the following elements:
- A certain authority appointed the accused to a certain time and place of duty,
- The accused person knew of that time and place, and
- The accused person failed to go to the appointed place of duty at the appointed time, without authority to do so.

As an E5(P) you demonstrated a completely unacceptable lack of judgement. You will be very lucky if removal from the promotion list is all that happens to you.

Response by SMSgt Bob W. made Feb 4 at 2022 6:32 PM

SMSgt Bob W. — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 18:32:05 -0500

Talk with the JAG. They can inquire the proper status of the "214 Solider". The only "flag" that come up for me is: If said soldier has been discharged, why isn't he/she on a plane to CONUS? BEST OF LUCK.

Response by SPC Joe Sullivan made Feb 5 at 2022 10:08 PM

SPC Joe Sullivan — Sat, 05 Feb 2022 22:08:19 -0500

I may not been in anymore (been out since 06 Disabled veteran Iraq04) but from what im reading here in the comments. Take the advice from them dont wait until its to late

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Feb 6 at 2022 9:08 AM

SFC Ralph E Kelley — Sun, 06 Feb 2022 09:08:24 -0500

1. Either he was still in the Army or he wasn't.
2. People are often flagged when investigations are conducted.
3. If you did nothing wrong then you should be fine.
Query: He was working at Popeyes, had a beard and was a discharged as an E1. What part of that description does not set off your SGTs spider-sense?
All your comment aside, as a mentor to many soldiers, I am more concerned about you and your future reactions to any UCMJ actions. You can either push through this and continue your career successfully or you can let it adversely affect your attitude. Admitting you "screwed the pooch" means you understand the severe nature of the issue.
My advice (advice only) is to speak with your COC privately if the action has not been formalized as an Article 15. Even then you will have a time to speak your piece. Do speak so that your COC you'll not be doing that one again.
Having been no Saint myself, I wish you the best of luck. No one advances up the ranks without doing nothing wrong. Even General Patton of WW2 fame got reprimanded (they didn't have Article 15s then, only Courts-Marshall) for his actions.