In May it'll be one yr as a veteran. Anyone else struggle with the urge to go back in? How do you deal with it?

PO2 Riva Norris — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 13:16:26 -0500

Response by SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury made Feb 7 at 2016 1:34 PM

SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 13:34:20 -0500

PO2 Riva Norris - I just remember the good times and realize that the conditions we enjoyed no longer exist. Not sure when you first came in but my first two deployments were wild times and back in home port we did tropical hours (liberty expired at 0600 and lunch/liberty call went down at 1300). I was on the pier in Norfolk in late 2013 on a Friday evening (evening!) and on the piers I was on the ships had their full crews onboard and were running drills.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Feb 7 at 2016 1:35 PM

SN Greg Wright — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 13:35:03 -0500

PO2 Riva Norris Why struggle? Just go back in. :P

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2016 1:36 PM

A1C Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 13:36:04 -0500

If you don't have a plan than I would go back in. You will at least have purpose and be moving on a career path. If you want to go to school than go to school. The main thing is you need to sit down and make a plan. Lay out all the little steps so you can see progress and achieve your dream. Just keep moving forward.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2016 1:37 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 13:37:38 -0500

The more I think about all that I've accomplished since ETS, the less I struggle with it. I have plenty more space and time to work on what I'm most passionate about. For the IT CMF, that's much easier said than done while active.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Feb 7 at 2016 2:09 PM

SSG Warren Swan — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 14:09:35 -0500

It's been since 12 I've been out, and like mentioned below, it's the brotherhood I miss, the ability to actually make immediate change to help someone or the service itself. One way I found that worked was being on here. The brotherhood is the same, and you're with folks who understand where you came from. You can even share painful memories on here, and NO ONE judges you. Everyone wants to see the other succeed. Another way I work through it is volunteering in vet orgs. You would be blown away to hear some of these guys and gals struggle with some of the same things in the civilian life they did in the military, and it's not that I outrank them, or even know more than they do, but being the calm voice of reason to them has helped. You have to find a purpose, and something to occupy your time. Just like in the service...give a troop a LOT of spare time to do nothing, you will find yourself writing a LOT of counseling statements on that troop to occupy your free time. If the pull is soo great to the point you want to further your life in the military, go back in. Become another Hero to the Marines and join the Army. Go Guard or Reserves, or even AD if possible. No matter what you do, DO NOT REGRET IT, and DON'T LOOK BACK. Hell I'd go into the Guard or Reserves if I was allowed now. Make a decision.....time MEOW!!!

Response by SN Steve Kontos made Feb 7 at 2016 2:31 PM

SN Steve Kontos — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 14:31:27 -0500

I have that same urge as we speak. And I'm trying to apply for OCS

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2016 2:39 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 14:39:46 -0500

What I missed about the Marine Corps was the brotherhood. There were a lot of things I did not miss. I did have the urge, but I had a good plan in place when I separated. Did you have a plan with goals when you left the service, if so, what has changed?

Response by LTC Jay Hicks made Feb 7 at 2016 2:59 PM

LTC Jay Hicks — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 14:59:06 -0500

Wow, I think about my decision every day. There are times I miss it, tremendously. But, you can never go back. You will always be proud...... but it is time to move on to other great things. Just keep looking forward.

Response by PO1 Matthew Murdock made Feb 7 at 2016 3:33 PM

PO1 Matthew Murdock — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 15:33:27 -0500

Sure do. Looking to get back in the reserves here soon I hope.

Response by SGT Benjamin Lindsey made Feb 7 at 2016 5:14 PM

SGT Benjamin Lindsey — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 17:14:43 -0500

Every day I wish I could go back in. So I don't know if I have any advice on how to deal with it.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2016 5:37 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 17:37:31 -0500

That's one of the reasons I went into the Reserves. You can still keep a connection to the Service and there are parts you certainly don't miss, and are likely the reason you separated in the first place-only giving up one weekend. Reserve duty also opens up a new can because you have to be able to swap back and forth between family, civilian career, and military career...

There are very few Vets that I've encountered that have treated their departure as "run don't walk", nearly all miss it and struggle with the urge.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2016 8:36 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 20:36:54 -0500

I would love to go back in. I miss the brotherhood;(althoughas a retiree its not completely gone ) but I want to really serve. I cope with it by volunteering in, veterans organizations, Civil Air Patrol, Naval Sea Cadets, Coast Guard Auxiliary and California Cadet Corps (National Guard Youth organization) and supporting JROTC activities. I think they should allow reserve retirees to stay in until 60. (but if they are not in a shortage occupation, let them stay in the IRR at MRD rather than forcing a complete retirement)

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Feb 7 at 2016 9:25 PM

SGT Jerrold Pesz — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 21:25:25 -0500

I simply looked at my civilian pay check. I was making more per week than I was in a month in the Army and my civilian pay check was steadily going up. I loved the Army but in those days you could starve in the military.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2016 9:40 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 21:40:59 -0500

Been saying I should go back in or at least National Guard since I separated back in 2003. Civilian work gets boring. I guess I miss the deployments or chance of deploying, and for sure I miss the comradery, something you just don't see much of in the civilian world.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Feb 7 at 2016 11:30 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 23:30:17 -0500

PO2 Riva Norris, only for 44 years so far.

Response by PO3 David Fries made Feb 8 at 2016 6:14 AM

PO3 David Fries — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 06:14:30 -0500

In my opinion, if you miss it, get back in. I waited too long and still kick myself.

Response by LCpl Steve Smith made Feb 8 at 2016 6:19 AM

LCpl Steve Smith — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 06:19:07 -0500

Every Damn Day lol and I EAS'd in 1995 lol. I think Most Service members struggle with wanting to go back in at some point in their life.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2016 6:33 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 06:33:00 -0500

When I walked out of my Platoon's offices on my last day in the Army, I was of the mind set to never look back. After one year in college with rich kids that don't give a damn about paying attention to professors or doing their homework, I needed an outlet. the AF reserves did that for me. now, I work full time as a civilian in the AF and then do my reserve time one weekend a month. it gives me a sense of doing something bigger than myself or making money for some bigwig that can fire me at anytime. my two cents.

Response by PO2 Riva Norris made Feb 8 at 2016 7:17 AM

PO2 Riva Norris — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 07:17:16 -0500

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!

Response by SPC James Dollins made Feb 8 at 2016 7:58 AM

SPC James Dollins — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 07:58:42 -0500

I did when I first got out. I always knew I couldn't go back though. Medically retired

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Feb 8 at 2016 8:01 AM

SSG Audwin Scott — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 08:01:33 -0500

I can't say that I have been almost 10 yrs this year so I am completely over it now.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2016 8:20 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 08:20:04 -0500

I'm coming up on about nine years this summer since active duty, and on my fourth year of being a "true civilian" after the Reserves. Sometimes, it feels like I'd do just about anything to be steaming off Hampton Roads...heading in for that well-earned pint at Mo's on Fleet Street by 2100 hours. Then again, I often realize that who I am now is a far cry from who I was then...and I've "swam" far enough up river, that it's a long, long way back. I confront those times by reminding myself that I'm where I am today because I left yesterday behind...and, as Sir Barrie so eloquently put it, "To Live would be quite an Adventure".

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2016 9:11 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 09:11:49 -0500

I got out.. and the urge set in. Luckily I had a good civilian job, and I joined the Reserves... and that set me straight, I remembered all the dumb shit. ALL of it. So now I am about to leave that shit too... and just become the crusty combat vet I was intended to be.

Response by SSG Sean Honea made Feb 8 at 2016 10:12 AM

SSG Sean Honea — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 10:12:28 -0500

Going to get my undergrad helped me with my transition. My brother had been murdered a year or so before I got out, so I wasn't exactly in the best of spirits for the next several years. In college, I found a ready group of young people ready to hear my story and help out when they could. Find your thing is the best advice. You got a job? Awesome! You don't? Go explore / go back to school until you find your thing. I took dance lessons, writing classes, capoeira, found religion, lost it, found another one, learned energy-work and qigong, how to cook without a microwave or george foreman grill. Now, 10 years out, I'm happily married with a son, and about to open my own business. Life can be great on the inside and out. You just have to be able to see it. To visualize it. Like make a list, "I want... out of life" Love? Family? Success? Money? Friendship? Good Health? Got your list? Now go out and live. Check your list every so often. Is want your doing serving it? It's okay to change your list. It should evolve as you grow. If all else fails join Toastmasters. It's most widely available and affordable self improvement program ever created. Best of luck, and many blessings to you.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2016 10:30 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 10:30:00 -0500

I'm 3-5 years from retiring (haven't completely made my mind up on when, but I know it's within the next 3-5 years) and I already struggle with the "settling" down factor. I think about it almost on a daily basis - after having a career were I was on the move every 3 years or so, I will have to choose a location to plant roots. I have no idea what that's going to be like and I know millions of vets have done it year after year - but it just feels awkward knowing that the PCS shuffle every few years will no longer be there. Hopefully I select a good location that keeps me content.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2016 12:28 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 12:28:52 -0500

Remember watchstanding. Remember how many times PSD messed up your paperwork. Remember cancelled libo. Extended deployments. Room inspections. Leadership that would sit on your chits for weeks for no reason while your plane tickets hung in the balance. Remember the reason you got out in the first place. It is easy to go back and see it all with rose colored lenses, but there was a lot of BS and politics that made day to day life kind of miserable. To quote Daniel Tiger "That was fun, but now its done."

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 8 at 2016 12:45 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 12:45:28 -0500

Can you go back?

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made Feb 8 at 2016 2:41 PM

CPT Pedro Meza — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 14:41:16 -0500

I always went back in which made marriage life impossible, in the end I realized that I was married to the ARMY first; longest marriage too 1974-2015. Just do it!

Response by PO1 Nathan Watts made Feb 8 at 2016 4:39 PM

PO1 Nathan Watts — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 16:39:13 -0500

It's a daily.
You swear to yourself you won't miss it when you leave but within a year of dealing with morally bankrupt civilians you start asking yourself why you left.
I just simply have to remind myself: It's not the life I miss - It's the lifestyle. This is of course, just speaking on myself. Others have their own take.
The biggest help has been my family - however old hat that advice may sound - it is invaluable having a support network that *actually* understands and supports you.
Best of luck to you shippy - and fair winds.

Response by SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres made Feb 8 at 2016 11:04 PM

SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 23:04:59 -0500

Well Personally I know what you are going through. I support servicemembers but I don't support the cause. We are not stopping terrorism, you can't win this war because its an idea that we are fighting.

I'm a different person now. Still a Billy Badapple but I've realized the world isn't black and white. Just shades of gray. I do like many others have suggested. Volunteer, learn, grow; change the world and have the freedom to actually do it.

There's still a good ole boy system, but you can actually leave if you dislike something in the civilian world.

Hope you find your purpose, even if it's back in the military. Just be the hero/heroine of your own story.

Response by SFC John Birks made Feb 9 at 2016 12:13 AM

SFC John Birks — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 00:13:39 -0500

Well after 24 years in and being out for a little over two, I'm missing it. I'd go back in a heart beat!

Response by PO1 Cameron Rhyne made Feb 9 at 2016 1:49 AM

PO1 Cameron Rhyne — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 01:49:26 -0500

I'm coming up on a year since I started Terminal Leave but I'm not regretting my choice to leave. I was more then ready to be a civilian again long before I signed my DD-214, so that is probably part of why I don't feel any urge to return.

I did struggle with depression while I was unemployed but that went away once I started working again at a job I'm satisfied with.

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Feb 9 at 2016 7:55 AM

SPC Margaret Higgins — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 07:55:55 -0500

PO2 Riva Norris When I got out of the Army, (in 1978) I wanted to go back in so badly- that I frequented the Presidio Army Base for a year....just to be "attached" to the military in some way.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2016 2:48 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 14:48:49 -0500

Every Day I struggle with it. I just put that energy into the other constructive things I do such as my Reserve career, School and my civilian job and make them all prosperous. That's All you can do until you go back if you decide to. Your career/Life whichever the choice.

Response by PO1 Bill Adams made Feb 10 at 2016 11:15 AM

PO1 Bill Adams — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 11:15:58 -0500

I went back in. :)

Response by SPC Paul Tillson made Feb 10 at 2016 12:32 PM

SPC Paul Tillson — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 12:32:36 -0500

PO2 Riva Norris I went back in.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2016 3:04 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:04:34 -0500

This was me back in 2004. I went back in as a reservist. Been in ever since.

Response by SMSgt Thor Merich made Feb 10 at 2016 3:34 PM

SMSgt Thor Merich — Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:34:30 -0500

Look into the Reserves. Its a good way to scratch that itch without investing 100% of your life.

Response by SGT Aaron Dumbrow made Feb 12 at 2016 11:59 PM

SGT Aaron Dumbrow — Fri, 12 Feb 2016 23:59:27 -0500

Every day for 12 1/2 years. I find other ways to be involved, helping other veterans, enjoying time with my kids, and working at a Job I love helps. You have to stay connected, and find somewhere you can find a culture that fits what you left behind, or what you are missing.

Response by SFC Gregory Wroblewski made Feb 18 at 2016 2:08 PM

SFC Gregory Wroblewski — Thu, 18 Feb 2016 14:08:26 -0500

I was retired for 10 years and they asked me to come back in. I spent 2007-2011 back on active duty. I am a lifer and now that I am fully retired, I miss it every day, even the BS.

Response by PO1 Jimm Mooney made Feb 22 at 2016 12:21 AM

PO1 Jimm Mooney — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 00:21:30 -0500

Only for the past 29 years. Then I remember the hurry up and wait,...technology changes...and the list goes on. I do miss the brotherhood and the team environment almost everyday.
However, I have found a passion instead in promoting the supporting of our Military whether deployed or not, remembering the families here at home of those deployed, Supporting and remembering the families of those KIA, and also promoting the concept of collaboration and standing together as Veterans in support of our brothers and sisters. I have done that for over 10 years in many communities across 4 states in person as well as through friends made around the country because of it. It's my way of continuing to serve.

It has filled that void of the Brotherhood and teamwork among our co-workers that I had a hard time finding in the civilian work places.

If you really want to go back in....go for it. I did it once, switched from Army to Navy after almost a year out. Then spent another 10 years before I had to make a decision I needed to for my kids, as a single parent. It was a tough decision.....but I never regret going back in...or for getting out either.
However, if you can find another way to actively serve and maintain a bit of the camaraderie we all seem to miss, that might be a viable solution.

Response by SSG Gerhard S. made Feb 22 at 2016 1:18 AM

SSG Gerhard S. — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 01:18:32 -0500

Perhaps things are a bit different now than when I retired. I miss the camaraderie the most. The few times I've given thought to going back in, I just reminded myself of all the associated BS, the Commanders (a minority) lacking in leadership, the (sometimes) pettiness that was more personality based than fair, or balanced, or even pertinent to the problem. The lack of creativity, funding, assets, or raw materials when solving problems, that seemed to get worse the further one looked up the chain of command for permission, or guidance. The missed Birthdays, Anniversaries, the whole year's, or the 25% lost week-ends every month of every year, the time away from family.

I loved my job in the Military, I stayed for 22 years, but doing so, also takes it's toll on family time, relationships, and sometimes job progression as well. When I weigh the pros and cons... I can honestly say that the pros were great, and I've simply had enough of the cons. Don't get me wrong... I have no regrets and I have lots of great memories...I just want to go forward, while remembering where I came from. I hope this adds to the conversation.

Response by PO2 Joshua Reid made Feb 22 at 2016 4:05 PM

PO2 Joshua Reid — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 16:05:14 -0500

What is your Re-enlistment code? This is what I did. I got out and got knee surgery...As soon as I walked good, I trained in jogging. I read my evals over and over and read my JST and all available documents. I fantasized about going back in and visualized how I would be finishing unfinished goals and work toward promotions...Then one day I am 32 and it's all just a dream. I'd consider re-enlisting ASAP, but with smart intentions of course. Warrant Officer or Helicopter pilot program in army was an attractive option I had when i was PO2.