In need of career advice. Do you have any input?

SPC Daniel Edwards — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 22:05:46 -0400

Contemplating on either getting out or staying in. My time in the army is almost over (time in service). My daughter just got diagnosed with autism (we still need more advice from the doctors). Her "condition" is not bad, she just cannot handle stress and serious changes well. I am worried that if I get to stay in, the constant moving will hurt her progression. However, I am not to sure I want to lose all the benefits like on-base housing, medical care, and the such. I am looking for help with benefits from both sides of the equation.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Apr 25 at 2015 10:27 PM

SFC Mark Merino — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 22:27:20 -0400

Glad to see you putting such care in your family first. A little prayer might not be a bad idea at this stage of the game. Say what you will about our medical problems in the military, but they are fantastic for the family in my opinion. You might be able to work with the EFMP program regarding the best course of action for your family if you decide to stay in. I knew a soldier who's wife was restricted to a wheel chair and needed many specialists. EFMP was a Godsend for him. They only allowed him to move to certain locations and I believe he changed his job. If you do opt to get out have a solid plan. The economy isn't as great as they lead you to believe and great medical care and careers in your military field might not be abundant. Take advantage of the mental health professionals and work with a MSW case worker who might give you insight on life on the outside with your child's condition. Social services may have programs tailored for your needsand situation. With all the drawdown talk here on RallyPoint it may be a challenge to make the military a career. Prayers from Arizona, brother. Hang tough and God bless. V/R, Uncle Mark

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 25 at 2015 10:47 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 22:47:29 -0400

SPC Daniel Edwards, I see my good friend and the Yoda of Rally Point himself, SFC Mark Merino has spoken, and per SOP, his words are golden. Yes, with a child on the Autism Spectrum, you do qualify for participation in the Army Exceptional Family Member Program. Participation in this program means that in the future, the Army will take into consideration your child's medical and educational service needs when considering your future assignment placements. For example, knowing that your child will likely need ongoing occupational or speech therapy services above and beyond what can be delivered in school, the Army won't assign you to a 3-year recruiting gig out in the middle of rural Montana where towns are 50 miles apart. Go talk with your S1 first thing Monday morning; they can get you rolling on the required paperwork. For what it's worth, knowing several others who have participated in this program; it was a huge factor in why they stayed for 20 or more. They felt the Army valued their family as well as them.

Response by CPT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 25 at 2015 10:53 PM

CPT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 22:53:14 -0400

While the Army offers some awesome benefits, I believe if you always put your family first you will never regret a decision. Your family will be there when the Army is not. It should be your number one priority. If the lifestyle is going to make your daughter's life more stressful it may be the right move to get out and find a more stable lifestyle.

With that being said, I really respect your maturity and selflessness. By asking this question you have shown where your heart really is. I think you know the answer already. Don't let the uncertainty of the outside world separate you from the right decision. People much less in tune than you make it in this society. You will be just fine.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 25 at 2015 11:07 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:07:10 -0400

SPC Daniel Edwards, I am only providing the information to assist as I do not know how much info you have right now:

http://efmp.amedd.army.mil/ should give you everything you need to know

http://www.martin.amedd.army.mil/meddepts/dfp-peds.htm *see EFMP near middle of page

Additional resources:
http://www.benningmwr.com/exceptional-family-member/

Many great people here pointing you in the right direction so you you can make an informed decision.

Response by SrA Daniel Hunter made Apr 25 at 2015 11:40 PM

SrA Daniel Hunter — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:40:57 -0400

My recommendation would be to do what you can where you are. Getting out is no guaranty there won't be serious changes. Take SFC Mark Merino's advice below. Best of luck no matter what you decide.

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made Apr 25 at 2015 11:52 PM

SGT Anthony Rossi — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:52:15 -0400

I have been out of the military for some time. If you have a plan for what you will do when exiting the military and you have a stable family or church family around you leaving service could be a good idea. However, you might be amazed how much easier military life is compared to civilian life. You income is consistent, you know what you have to do to get promoted if your NCO is counseling you properly, the benefits are some of the best in the world, and believe it or not military life is way more predictable than most civilian occupations.

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made Apr 25 at 2015 11:53 PM

SGT Anthony Rossi — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:53:51 -0400

Sound advice!

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made Apr 25 at 2015 11:58 PM

SGT Anthony Rossi — Sat, 25 Apr 2015 23:58:36 -0400

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:19

If you pray God will tell you what to do. From one father to another.

Response by MSgt David Heil made Apr 26 at 2015 12:02 AM

MSgt David Heil — Sun, 26 Apr 2015 00:02:51 -0400

SPC Daniel Edwards, I am sorry you are dealing with this difficult problem but we are never given more than what we are able to handle. When I had to make the decision on my first reenlistment my son who was 9 months old at the time had to have neurosurgery to correct a major issue. The military hospital could not do the surgery and they sent us to the local hospital. At that time (before tri-care) it was called Champus, and the coverage was not so good and I got quite a few bills. Because all of this happened literally at the same time as I needed to make that reenlistment decision, and the economy was much like it is now (1979, Carter years) I re-enlisted. We had years of follow on care for my son and the military sent us where we needed to be to make sure we had access to medical facilities to take care of my family.

I encourage you to evaluate everything you can from all sources available. Get as many opinions as possible from those you can trust. Evaluate the realistic opportunities of civilian employment in areas you are immediately qualified to be hired to fill. Evaluate potential civilian salary and benefit packages.

When comparing salary and benefit packages, make sure to remember you are not taxed on your BAS and BAH allowances. This is a significant financial benefit. One of the most shocking things to me when I retired and started working a civilian job was the significant tax burden.

This will be one of the biggest decisions you will make. I wish you the best of luck.

David

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 26 at 2015 10:32 AM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 26 Apr 2015 10:32:47 -0400

This will help you paint the picture. Do yourself a favor and get out a piece of paper. On the left of the paper write GET OUT and STAY IN. Create columns from left to right the most important things you are looking for like: Retirement, Deployments, Moves, Education, Fulfilling Career and etc. You might find out one course of action is just not practical. Good luck.

Response by SPC Jesse Akers made Apr 27 at 2015 12:53 PM

SPC Jesse Akers — Mon, 27 Apr 2015 12:53:32 -0400

Lots of great advice on here! If you decide to get out make sure you use absolutely every single benefit you can and start thinking about what you want to do in the civilian world (may be worth thinking about regardless of if you stay in).

Here are some great resources:

http://dantes.kuder.com/

http://www.military.com/veteran-jobs/skills-translator/

https://veterans.linkedin.com/

https://www.rallypoint.com/

http://www.onetonline.org/crosswalk/MOC?b=F&s=&g=Go

http://www.mynextmove.org/vets/

Also would not hurt to talk to a career counselor or coach to utilize these resources to the greatest benefit.

Good luck!

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Response by LTC Dar Place made Apr 29 at 2015 12:12 PM

LTC Dar Place — Wed, 29 Apr 2015 12:12:48 -0400

You have gotten some great advice here, so will try not to duplicate too much. Agree with pray about it and listen for God's answer and what my good friend Jason Mackay said...run to ACS and get enrolled in EFMP.

Now, some things to consider about being a "non-retired" veteran, meaning you don't have 20 years and full retirement benefits. I retired 18 months ago and currently work as a senior executive in a large government contractor corporation....I have lots of people working under me and understand the challenges with finding and keeping a job and healthcare costs. So think about this: My wife and I pay only 46 dollars a month for TRICARE prime, which is deducted from my retired pay before I ever get it, so it's like we never even notice that we are "paying" for healthcare. That 46 dollars a month gets us the same level of care we had in the Army....free doctor visits, MRIs, catscan, x-ray. physical therapy, pharmacy prescriptions, etc.... (I do live next to FT. Campbell and TRICARE has me assigned to a military clinic) before moving back to FT. Campbell area, I only paid 12 dollar co-pay for doc visit and 280 dollars worth of prescriptions was a copay of about 8 dollars. So that is me, a retired guy..... My current civilian company provides 80% of the healthcare costs for our employees and on our most recent job in a low income area of Georgia where cost of living is comparatively cheap from national average, a family of four still paid 485 a month for full benefits (and believe it or not, that amount was a 75 dollars savings for them from their last employer healthcare plan), and they still have to make a doctor visit copay and copay on prescriptions until they reach a cutoff point each year and then insurance pays full cost....485 a month versus my 46. The Army is not perfect, but as others have said, job security is absolute as long as you stay out of trouble and do your job (this is not the case in civilian world...even great people get laid off if profits aren't good) and with EFMP you can reduce the amounts of moves you make and get them restricted to certain posts only.

I have never heard someone tell me they regret having stayed in the military until their 20 year retirement, but I cannot count the number of people I have heard tell me..."man, I should've staid in...I'd have already been retired by now and have that guaranteed check and healthcare." And I also speak from the perspective that I too have a son in the Army, a SFC in the infantry...single parent and two kids...one with special needs. I gave him the same advice, STAY IN for at leas the 20....he has 5 more to go now.

Pray about it, ensure that if you decide to get out you KNOW you have a job waiting on you and have done the cost analysis....your heart is right to think about family first, but part of that is to ensure that you have the money and healthcare your child needs...with the Army it is guaranteed, it is not a done deal in the civilian world.

My last bit....I now have three paychecks! Army retirement, VA disability at 90% rating and my new job....money is no longer an issue for me. If I did not have those first two, it would not be the same, I have the freedom to quit a job and go do something else if I am not happy where I am at because I have that guaranteed income.

In the end the decision is yours, but just so you know, the grass is not as green on the other side of military life as you might think...it certainly has it's pros as well, and I do not regret having retired, but I cannot imagine how much harder my life would be if I did not have that Army retirement, cheap lifetime healthcare and VA disability at my disposal.

God Bless you and your family, than you for your service and good luck with your decision.

Response by LTC Stewart Stephenson made May 1 at 2015 10:00 PM

LTC Stewart Stephenson — Fri, 01 May 2015 22:00:53 -0400

To echo what others have said, I would recommend writing down the challenges and benefits of staying in vs. separating.

I would also recommend having your wife do the same thing (independently), then sit down and consolidate the lists and discuss. You may find that one list is far shorter than the other, but that one or two items on the list override all the others.

You and your wife should also sit down and write down a list of questions, who to ask, and then ask them. That is a living document - one answer may lead to two or three additional questions.

Your local ACAP/SFL office can help you out with transition timelines and post-separation budgeting.

For what it's worth, I'm in the last 30 days of retirement transition leave and the transition classes opened my eyes to a lot of "stuff" (I'll use the polite term) that hadn't considered.

You may also find that a short-term reup (if available) will give you time to better posture yourself for life after this.

At the end of the day, you must do what is best for you and your family, but make the decision based on careful consideration, not emotion. Your wife has to be on board with the decision as well. You're a team.

Response by MSgt Dwyane Watson made May 4 at 2015 6:00 PM

MSgt Dwyane Watson — Mon, 04 May 2015 18:00:36 -0400

I can really empathize with you, my son has Aspbergers and has been seeing a psychologist for 6 years. Both my wife and I have retired, I had high year tenure and the wife hit 20 and punched. Tricare is getting better about paying for doctors while retired, my son has not had any lapse in care, we just have a co-pay now. Getting them into a routine is great, but sometimes it can't be helped. My son now has a para in school and it has helped him so much. It wasn't till he went to school that it became obvious something was wrong. It is always interesting but we don't let it slow us down. He loves to travel, just doesn't want to interact with people till he warms up to them. If you move around you just need that good support system built up and carry on. It is a challenge but you can do it. If she has been diagnosed make sure its in her doctor files at the base, make sure she is registered for receiving the special coding, then hopefully the army won't send you someplace that won't be able to help her.

Response by SGT Herbert Bollum made Apr 28 at 2020 6:01 PM

SGT Herbert Bollum — Tue, 28 Apr 2020 18:01:01 -0400

Work with a counselor to help her deal. I have a granddaughter who went through some tough times with moving , but she is doing well now. If you are close enough to see retirement as possible stick it out for sure. I know as an E-4 you need more rank to make it but that can be achieved.