Is desperation, loneliness, isolation, feeling odd, constantly trying to build a castle that seemingly will burn down again make any sense?

yes thoughts racing fight or flight. how long can 1 man fight? That is the question of age. It is not the actual fight but how you fight and what risk tolerance you have. It is almost impossible to have 1 clear direction. I can only think back to my time on the ship when things got out of control and I became desperate inside but also felt trapped. Now I must go into the world of freedom but also still feel like I am out of control or unable to make my own wise clear decisions that I can fullfill easily. I used to be able to make a plan feel good about it and execute it. I think that was referencing when I was 18 and enlisted. That was a big commitment easy with little thought but to serve and also have a great life. Now I just am single and putting the puzzle together and seeing what I am a man 41 is when those initial dreams of success ended up dizzy at the end of an enlistment. Then you enter the VA oakland regoinal system that was being investigated by congress for not processing 10,000 claims all of the local and national news! So then you have to go through that process for 4 years. Now I am at Peets. This man the castle I am is some type of castle.

PO3 Aaron Hassay - I know how you feel. I got help from the VA, but it was a personal strategy to reduce racing thoughts by cutting the chain to the anchor (the past). I tell myself the past does not matter anymore. Then like gunnery, I prioritized my targets (stressors) by hitting those closest to me. This really helps me with thoughts and stresses about the future. I focus on the PRESENT and the basics of survival when I need to. I work on eating, sleeping, and cleaning my apartment. Every grunt needs personal maintenance in order to fight another day. Somethings that helped me are:

- Seeing the beauty in the world. Sometimes we just can't see the beauty.
- Say positive things about yourself. It will help counter the negative thinking.
- Working out is an activity that will help you feel more in control and in shape.
- I often play music to help my mood.
- Recognize and expound on what and who you love.
- I watch Netflix before I fall asleep.
- Don't be too hard on yourself as you are work in progress.
- Go to group therapy, you will be surprised by the empathy and different perspectives to help make order out of chaos.
- Learn a breathing techique which will help you unclutter your mind.
- Ask for help if you need it.
- Never lose hope, and never quit.
- Learn how to smile and laugh again.

I am here if you need a pep talk. I wish you success as you endeavor in life.