Is it our own brothers and sisters in arms who are hurting others (and inhibiting their recovery)?

2017-03-31T18:12:04-04:00

Time and time again, I see prior military members cut down and made fun of for telling their stories or reaching out. I am sure we have all seen comments such as "suck it up" , "my deployment was way harder" and other comments that un-validate their service. Can it be, that we ourselves are the biggest reason that there is a large amount of suicides in our community?

Response by SFC George Smith made Mar 31 at 2017 6:19 PM

2017-03-31T18:19:58-04:00

interesting and Most profound Outlook...
Thanks for the Info and Share...

Response by SMSgt Lawrence McCarter made Mar 31 at 2017 6:26 PM

2017-03-31T18:26:51-04:00

I feel its our fellow veterans We need to talk to and be able to express ourselves. All of us have different ways of dealing with things, that is the human factor but We need each others support. People all have to talk to someone and being able to talk and have other listen is a way to deal with problems or at least talk with people of a common background that may well understand. All of us stepped up to serve our country which is something a majority of People never did. I would never want to discourage any of My brothers or sister here of telling their stories and reaching out to their fellow Veterans. Learning You not alone out there can make quite a difference and reaching for support from Your peers and not getting it can never be good. We as Veterans need to support each other and know none of us are alone. Many Veterans would never even consider telling their story to a non Veteran, listen and don't be the one that didn't and maybe contributed to sending them over the edge. Please consider what I've said, thank You in advance.

Response by SGT Aaron Olivas made Mar 31 at 2017 6:31 PM

2017-03-31T18:31:18-04:00

Well said.

Response by LTC John Shaw made Mar 31 at 2017 6:44 PM

2017-03-31T18:44:21-04:00

SGT Aaron Olivas No one wants to appear weak with their peers and most of the time, we are able to adapt and adjust our way in life to keep our actions in check. We often hold ourselves to a high professional standard and PTS is just perceived as being broken/not resilient.
I believe many service members think they are OK and are confident they can handle whatever comes until they get into a dark place and see no way out. This means most the time they feel OK and accepted.
Service members judge quickly, we are trained to make a gut assessment and take action.
Our circumstances change quickly, the loss of joy based on loved ones and people we feel commitment and connected. The loss of integrity by breaking our word to someone or not meeting others expectations: family, friends, peers. The loss of financial or emotional support. The loss of hope that our future will be different.
This RP forum is great for support, but we also cast many stones, opinions and open conversation are a good thing. We need to encourage each other to share our experiences and find value in each one.
We must be able to just listen to our peers, brothers and sisters without judgement.

Response by Stephanie Jones made Apr 1 at 2017 12:35 AM

2017-04-01T00:35:41-04:00

I do believe it is a contributor and can and does affect self-esteem. I have seen it in action and the results are detrimental.

Response by SPC Erich Guenther made Apr 1 at 2017 4:26 PM

2017-04-01T16:26:05-04:00

Yeah, highly unlikely. I tend to believe what the Army has concluded on Suicides and the causes of such. First and foremost, difficulty adapting to Military Service. Which has always been the primary driver, long before GWOT. Interestingly the Army found that most suicides happen prior to the first wartime deployment. If your talking Veteran vs Veteran, also would find that hard to believe. If one Veteran hits another one hard online, you either get a online argument or the other Veteran shuts the one doing the insulting off. I don't see suicides happening as the result of online disagreements.

Response by SSgt Robert Marx made Apr 1 at 2017 6:02 PM

2017-04-01T18:02:55-04:00

I believe that the veteran community can and should be its own greatest resource for helping hurt ones to recover. The number of suicides must include many friendless people that could have responded to a helping hand offered by a fellow vet. Each one of us ought to be part of the solution rather than a denier who enables continuation of a careless culture.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 6 at 2017 1:56 PM

2017-04-06T13:56:09-04:00

Culture has been a big problem when it comes to suicides in the military - but the other big piece was the lack of care at the VA when the wars first started because they weren't used to so many coming in. Another problem is that they hadn't had to handle female veterans as much either so female vets have been given the short stick in getting care after the military and probably even during.

There needs to be better information and training put out on mental illness. If someone gets PTSD they aren't going to just 'Suck it up." That's the problem yes that the culture in the military is you can't be seen as weak and people didn't really understand mental illness. People still don't even in the civilian world.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made May 24 at 2018 8:17 PM

2018-05-24T20:17:12-04:00

No, civies seem to not care- memorial Day is not just a chance to get a great deal on cars, furniture, mattress, etc.

Response by SPC Nancy Greene made Dec 27 at 2019 10:52 PM

2019-12-27T22:52:41-05:00

That is a small part. IMHO
Also stigma attached to Sexual Assault. Tough on Women, even tougher on Men!
Need Masters level Educational resources and support groups. VA does NOT have Any of these in NC!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 27 at 2019 11:08 PM

2019-12-27T23:08:54-05:00

I believe a big problem is lack of empathy, understanding, and compassionate leadership. I have witnessed soldiers with severe PTSD ordered to the unit so they can be squeezed to do work even if they are going to day long group therapy.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 28 at 2019 11:41 AM

2019-12-28T11:41:37-05:00

The leadership inconsistency of units renders standards of care to have a wide range. I personally think we should work on unit leaders and offer assignments to WTBs for all who are med boarded to alleviate stress and allow the SMs to focus on treatment. I want to caveat this by saying many folks who work in WTBs should not work for the federal government or the military. They are rude and treat you like shit when you are down. I will use two examples. Ft Riley: An E-6 yelled at me “I fucking own you!” Ft Campbell: I had a GS-4 scream at me at the top of her lungs. I was deeply offended as I treated all soldiers with dignity and respect throughout my career.

Response by SGT Steve McFarland made Dec 28 at 2019 3:12 PM

2019-12-28T15:12:06-05:00

We live in a performance-oriented society where our "value", our "significance" is based on our accomplishments. We see a CEO as "better" than a janitor, but the CEO probably wouldn't be missed if they went on vacation for a week, whereas, if the janitor went on vacation for a week, the place would be a pig-pen when they got back unless someone else "stooped" to do their job.

The same is true in the military. A fighter-jockey is seen as "better" than a bomber-pilot, who is "better" than a cargo-pilot, and they are ALL "better" than the poor slobs who keep the planes flyable and in the air. A person with an Eagle on their collar is seen as "better" than the poor slick-sleeve.

Likewise with Veterans. Combat-Veterans are seen as "better" than members who served stateside, and VISIBLE wounds are "better" than INVISIBLE wounds and elicit more help and sympathy. VFW is only open to Combat-Veterans, while the American Legion is open to ALL Veterans. DAV is open to all Veterans with any service-connected disability, whether you can see it or not.

It all comes back to the indoctrination we have received since we were young, when people with "titles" were seen as "better" than everyone else. Only we can change this status-quo and start valuing ALL of our Brothers and Sisters equally.