Is it possible to drop SA charges you have against your spouse? (Dual military)?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Nov 2022 20:12:24 -0500

Everywhere I’ve gone to look I can’t find any info. I need to know if there’s any way I can drop charges against my husband.. I want to give our marriage a chance. Please try to be unbiased and please no judgement…

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 13 at 2022 8:15 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Nov 2022 20:15:01 -0500

Contact one of these three gentlemen... they are very knowledgeable in Military related questions/issues.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 13 at 2022 9:02 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 13 Nov 2022 21:02:57 -0500

Who filed the charges? Where were the charges filed? If on base, talk with the MPs, CID and JAG. If off base, talk with the police department and DA's office.

If your husband sexually assaulted you, why would you want to give your marriage another chance? If your husband did NOT sexually assault you, why are there SA charges?

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Nov 13 at 2022 10:49 PM

MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P — Sun, 13 Nov 2022 22:49:42 -0500

That would depend on who filed the charges (you or law enforcement) and where (civilian court or on post). If you filed with a civilian court, then you (or your attorney) can petition that court to have the charges vacated. If the charges were preferred on post, JAG would most likely be the agency to vacate. Plus, you'd need to apprise your unit command (and his through yours, if different units) as the unit commanders may have taken certain initiatives because of the pending charges.

Response by CSM William Everroad made Nov 14 at 2022 11:11 AM

CSM William Everroad — Mon, 14 Nov 2022 11:11:16 -0500

SGT Private RallyPoint Member, The devil is in the details here. You state the SA happened 3 years ago. If this was military, it would have been adjudicated by now. If this was civilian, you would just call the precinct the charges were filed in.

Not judging your desire to forgive and reconcile your marriage, but are you sure you want to rekindle a relationship with someone who sexually assaulted you to the point that you filed charges? Especially given that you are seeking to remove the punitive aspect of committing an illegal and immoral act?

Being that you are both military servicemembers, the optics are horrendous. What happens if you are assaulted again? Would they take you as seriously? What if it isn't simple assault next time? I get the idea of forgiveness, but some things you don't take chances with; like your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. I have never seen these things work out in the long run. No one here should judge you, but we all care about the well-being of all our Soldiers.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Nov 15 at 2022 9:01 AM

SSgt Christophe Murphy — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 09:01:11 -0500

It depends on a lot. It depends on who filed the charges. It depends if the Military was involved in any way because if it was then it would mean an MPO was in place and that's more legal hurdles to jump through. If the charges were only filed by you and the Command wasn't involved it should be as simple as you contacting who you filed the charges through. If the charges are coming from the County/State that is different because they most likely have enough to go on without your testimony.

Response by Cpl Vic Burk made Nov 15 at 2022 7:29 PM

Cpl Vic Burk — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 19:29:47 -0500

Legally I am not even going to try to answer your question, just stating what I know. Most likely your husband having done this once, if you drop the charges (if you can) he got away with something he shouldn't have, he'll probably do it again. My comment comes from seeing things like this happen in the past. Being drunk is no excuse. If he can't handle alcohol, he has no business consuming it. I understand you wanting to make your marriage work. Is it worth the risk? It's your life and you won't like what I am about to say but if I were you, I'd go the other way and get on with your life without him. No woman deserves that kind of treatment, even once. I do wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Nov 16 at 2022 2:16 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Wed, 16 Nov 2022 14:16:18 -0500

You need to contact Jag and see what can be done.