Knowing what you know now, would you let your child serve in the Army?

2014-10-21T06:03:08-04:00

It took some heart to let my son enlist but after months of haggling with his recruiter we finally settled on a MOS and he's currently on his own at 18 serving overseas. Recently I saw a post on Facebook of a video of Montell Williams who stated that he told his kid no, not to enlist after what he's seen happen in the military lately ... what are your thoughts??

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 6:13 AM

2014-10-21T06:13:42-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member,

Knowing what I know now, I would be happy to have a child who serves in the Army or any other branch. However, if he thinks that he needs my permission to "let" him do anything after he turns 18, he's probably not ready to serve. Either way, it'd be his prerogative and he'd have my unwavering support.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 6:18 AM

2014-10-21T06:18:01-04:00

Yes and my oldest is serving today. Has the military changed yes it has but it is still a honorable profession.

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Oct 21 at 2014 7:45 AM

2014-10-21T07:45:18-04:00

My son is currently serving (with the 101st), but it wasn't an issue of whether or not I 'let' him, it was a choice HE made on his own. I tried my best to never influence my children either way, and to support the decisions that they make.
We all have/had challenges while serving. Those currently serving have a different set of challenges than most of we veterans had, and the next generations challenges will be different that those being faced now. It's just the nature of the beast. I do agree with MSgt Private RallyPoint Member , it is still an honorable profession.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 7:54 AM

2014-10-21T07:54:50-04:00

I totally agree with all of you. Let me clarify a little bit ... my son graduated high school at 17 and need my permission. He was accepted to a few colleges and made the decision that he wanted to enlist. At 19 years of service with 5 deployments I fear for him .... guess I'm just an overly concerned father.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 8:49 AM

2014-10-21T08:49:24-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member - Done great SFC Priest. You have much to be proud of and when these times get better again and they will, he would have gone through some stuff that he can tell kids how it was.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 8:56 AM

2014-10-21T08:56:12-04:00

You can't NOT let your child pursue his or her desires. I mean, come on, your (in general yours, not picking on anyone) parents didn't stop you. And if they tried, they still didn't. You have your glory story, let your kid have his. My parents were on a brink of separation right around the time I was getting shipped out to boot camp, definitely not because of my choice. It was EXTREMELY heartbreaking to get sent off seeing the two separate.

I have a 13 year old daughter. Should she start showing interest in the military upon her Junior and Senior years in high school, I'll brief her to my best ability on what to expect. Should she choose the scholastic route, I'll brief her accordingly because I dealt with both routes.

Support our troop wannabees! Great pic by the way. Here's a random pic that I found on the web a few months ago that got me so proud about my service...

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Oct 21 at 2014 8:59 AM

2014-10-21T08:59:27-04:00

Absolutely. It's a time honored and patriotic profession and I believe, as I've stated in related posts, that everyone should serve their country either through the military or other civil service job.

Response by SPC James Mcneil made Oct 21 at 2014 8:58 AM

2014-10-21T08:58:10-04:00

There would have to be some assumptions. First, I would have to assume that my kids actually could serve. I have two, and they are both on the autism spectrum, so they technically cannot.
However, if they could, or if any of my nieces or nephews came to me and wanted to join the Army, I would support them. The hardest thing in the world for me to do would be to put my fears aside and support my child's dream.

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Oct 21 at 2014 10:21 AM

2014-10-21T10:21:36-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member ,

Knowing what I know now, yes, in fact I would encourage it, if asked. Joining the military is a deeply personal step and one which in many cases should be encouraged. If my son or daughters came to me and said, I am thinking about the military, what do you think. I would provide honest answers with the overall comment being serving is the greatest thing I did in my life.

My son had a desire to serve, I took him and introduced him to Recruiters I knew and allowed him to make up his own mind. In the end he selected another career. Likewise, my daughter asked the same thing. I did exactly the same thing. I still view it as an honor to serve. I present that honor and answer any questions my children ask about my career honestly.

To borrow from our brothers and sisters in the Air Force, it is "a great way of life."

Response by PO2 Jonathan Scharff made Oct 21 at 2014 11:01 AM

2014-10-21T11:01:50-04:00

I guess it's a done deal for me as I already have one serving and another one looking into Jag after he graduates from law school this coming May. Coming from a very liberal "blue" state I am frequently asked when people hear that our son is serving, "Why would you let him do that?" or "Aren't you worried about him?" I usually just respond that I am honored that he chose this path as did my brother (MAJ ARMY), my father (PVT ARMY), my uncle (USAF), my grandfather (on a sub in WWII), my great uncle (Marine at Iwo Jima), my great great grandfather (US Coast Guard) and I. The tradition continues.

Am I worried? What kind of question is that to ask of a parent? If your not worried about your kids every day regardless of where they are in the world then you are not much of a parent.

It is interesting to note that no one in my family ever talks about the military or that our children should serve. I believe that patriotism is taught in the home and in that environment of duty and honor, children will make the decisions that are best for them.

The photo below is of me and my youngest son at his graduation/commissioning at Penn State this past May. He is now a 2LT at Ft. Hood in TX in the ADA. We are very proud of him and honored that he has chosen to serve this great nation.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 12:33 PM

2014-10-21T12:33:03-04:00

Granted my son has a dual citizenship, but if he wanted to do it i would have no problem with it. I mean it would be no different then what my parents did when i decided to Serve. Like any other they worried about it but knew i would be able to handle any situation. The way the military is now is a lot different but then, to your parents when you got in it was a lot different both of my parents were in the service, and they even say now the military has changed a lot, we are an ever adapting Military so as the world changes we adating to it as well.

But like an other you may tell them try this service or try this one, im in this one and look what i do. But i would deter him away from a certain job, i would sure as hell tell him the ins and outs of it but then in the end its his decision. As they say its your career take charge, thats what you let them know, you get out of it, what you put into it.

Response by SFC Melker Johansson made Oct 21 at 2014 1:19 PM

2014-10-21T13:19:25-04:00

The Army has been good to me. Yes, there has been challenges with deployments, family separations, etc, but overall it has been a good experience. If my child met the standards for medical fitness then I would have no issues with her joining. Unfortunately, she has a medical condition that makes her permanently disqualified from military service.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 1:41 PM

2014-10-21T13:41:10-04:00

I know who Montell is, but not familliar with his political leanings or why he made his comments. Whatever. He's an entertainer. Their occupation descends from theives and rogues. Compare the respect (not adoration) levied on entertainers versus Soldiers and you'll see a huge gap. 'Nuff said on that. Now, I assume this comes (since the reference to Montell and your picture) from the fact that you are a "minority family" facing the huge challenges that the military brings to bear against minorities of any kind (which I also asume is why Montel has an issue with the Army). I think you made the right choice, as did your son. Two of the most formative NCO's in my career were my first gunner and my first platoon sergeant. SGT Goins was the best gunner I have ever seen. More importantly, he understood that I needed to be trained. He was a professional who understood his profession and made it his number 1 priority to make sure I was the best tank commander I could be. He is my example that I levy on every E5 I meet...and his example was from 20 years ago and it has stood the test of time. Oh yeah...and he was black. Whatever. SFC Billy Gladney (retired CSM), was my first platoon sergeant. He was loud, mean, hard as nails and the best damn platoon sergeant I have ever worked with in 20 years of service. He is the standard bearer for the NCO corps and is the yard stick I use to measure everyone I come into contact with (both officer and enlisted)...and he was black as night. Big freakin deal. He was Army green to the core of his being though and he was a proud man who would look you in the eye and let you know that he was your equal. Those are just my personal experiences though. There's still bigotry in the military. It comes from the fact that we are a cross-section of humanity. The military (unlike any organization in America) has regulations and ethics that create a culture of equality. Those that cross that line are crushed between the gears of the machine and spit out in a fine red mist...and that goo greases the skids of the rest of the military so that we can be more integrated, more diverse, and more inclusive while maintaining the warfighting capability we are expected to have. Now I'm as white as a sheet. I'm heterosexual. I have 2 kids and a dog. I'm as far from a minority as you can get, but I'll tell you what...external visuals don't matter at all to me. Show me what you can do. Don't talk about it, and don't have a GD chip on your shoulder when you do it because of the trail of tears over the last 200 years. Be proud of who you are and what you are and then TRANSLATE IT INTO POSITIVE ACTION. Nothing else matters. What you do now matters. The way you act now matters. Your performance matters. THAT is what the Army stands for. Equality in everything as long as your performance measures up and your ethics are sound. Montel can suck it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 21 at 2014 2:30 PM

2014-10-21T14:30:21-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member I know exactly what you are talking about. I went through the same thing when my son turned 18. We had a long talk about him not need to do that to earn my respect or approval. When he told me his reason for joining was because he KNEW somebody has to defend the country and if not him, who? I knew he had my support. He makes me proud everyday as I am positive your son does.

This is a pic of the two of us in Iraq right after he first joined. His MP company was inbound and I was outbound so we got to spend a few days with each other in country.... very odd, emotional experience.

Response by SSG Joel Jeschke made Oct 21 at 2014 4:42 PM

2014-10-21T16:42:00-04:00

My son did served in the USAR. Very proud of him

Response by PO1 Christopher Duhe made Oct 21 at 2014 6:02 PM

2014-10-21T18:02:15-04:00

What's the downside? Deployed away from family and mortal danger mostly. I know more than a few salesmen who spend lots of time every week away from family and have given up lucrative sales territory to spend more time at home. Is this the same as a six or nine month hitch in the Gulf or Afghanistan? Not really, but you're not home a lot either way. As for mortal danger, well, somebody's got to volunteer for the job, it might as well be you, or me, or our kids. I think the upside is you will work with the best trained, best motivated people in the nation in uniform. You can't say that about Walmart.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Oct 22 at 2014 12:20 AM

2014-10-22T00:20:09-04:00

Rock on! You did a great job raising a young man who followed in his old man's footsteps! Montell can stick to selling energy shakes at 0200. I can only imagine the pride, joy, and anxiety you must feel. My daughter just turned 19. This is a great thread for me to follow.

Response by SGT Suraj Dave made Oct 22 at 2014 12:29 AM

2014-10-22T00:29:19-04:00

Absolutely.
Save me a bunch of money, use the Government for the G.I. Bill. I will try make all them go this route. Though i will point the softer ones away from the Army....

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Oct 22 at 2014 2:52 AM

2014-10-22T02:52:40-04:00

NO!!! I won't let her join the Army. She'll be third gen Marines.

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Oct 22 at 2014 9:09 AM

2014-10-22T09:09:01-04:00

Already have, my middle son just went over 2 years and is deployed to Kuwait at the moment, only heartburn was him choosing to enter the same MOS as me 19K, would rather he chosen something more viable in the civilian world for after, but his decision to make and I fully back him!!

Response by Cpl Matthew Wall made Oct 22 at 2014 10:11 AM

2014-10-22T10:11:38-04:00

No, I would have them join the Marine Corps :)

Response by Maj Chris Nelson made Oct 22 at 2014 11:09 AM

2014-10-22T11:09:17-04:00

My daughter is currently in 8th grade. She is VERY interested in becoming a veterinarian or vet tech. The Air Force does not have this, the Army does. Not sure about Navy/Marine Corps. Having been both Army and Air Force, I will not encourage her to be Enlisted Army (I have been there, done that, and don't think it is a good match for her). If she feels that she must be in the military and be enlisted, I will try to encourage Air Force. If she completes college, and especially of she becomes a veterinarian, I will strongly support her in gaining a commission and joining! With all that being said, I will support her in whatever she chooses.

Response by SSG Ralph Innes made Oct 22 at 2014 11:36 AM

2014-10-22T11:36:04-04:00

I have two boys ages 10 and 6. I cannot thinking of anything that would make me more proud as a father than to give either or both of them blood wings after their 5th jump. I can only speak from my own experience, but had it not been for my time in service, I would not be where I am today. It isn't for everyone, and thus I wouldn't ever knock anyone that wouldn't want to join.

Response by 1SG Nathanial Wood made Oct 22 at 2014 11:39 AM

2014-10-22T11:39:19-04:00

Absolutely. I would make sure they understand what it entails and help them make an educated decision on MOS and Branch but at the end of the day you have to let them live their life. The Army has it's ups and downs, but overall it's been good to me.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2014 1:15 PM

2014-10-22T13:15:22-04:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member, congratulations on your son's enlistment. Great picture!

My daughter is 14 and wants to join the Army. I'm supporting her. When she graduates high school, if she still wants to join up, I'll be behind her 100%. With all its flaws, military service is a great way to start out in life, and if it's for you, then it's also a great career. It certainly worked out for me, and I think it can work well for others too.

Response by SSG Tim Everett made Oct 22 at 2014 1:44 PM

2014-10-22T13:44:02-04:00

I know what the military did for me and how it shaped my life, and I credit it willingly. I've seen the Montell Williams testimony video and I agree with it 100%. At this particular moment in time I don't think that I would *recommend* the service, after the way I've seen veterans treated by bureaucracy or the way I've seen veterans ignored by administrations and agencies.

Having said that, I followed in my father's footsteps to a certain extent by joining the military. I joined the Army instead of the Marines, which is where my father, brother and sisters went. My father supported my decision because he felt that A.) I was man enough to make it myself, and B.) I'd made an informed decision. So if any of my children decide to serve, I will support them wholeheartedly. They don't need my permission or consent once they're 18 and if they feel they need my approval or permission, they aren't ready to serve and I've failed as a parent.

Response by Sgt Sasha Cruz made Oct 22 at 2014 2:20 PM

2014-10-22T14:20:50-04:00

Nope. But I would tell him/her to go to Marine Corps.

Response by CPT Zachary Brooks made Oct 22 at 2014 3:11 PM

2014-10-22T15:11:29-04:00

I will support their decision to join the Army (or any branch as I assume you meant in the thread title) and hope to steer them in the right decision if they choose to join. Do they want to be enlisted, warrant, or officer? Do they want Navy, Army, Marines, or AF? Do they want intel, signal, or Infantry? Why? Why? Why?

My father all but forced me to be an Army Officer when I told him I wanted to serve. Wish I could have known more and I might have made a different choice. I would at least have enlisted through college (and be half way to retirement by now).

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2014 5:13 PM

2014-10-22T17:13:50-04:00

I hope my children (all five of them) join the military. With that being said, having done 17 years enlisted time and just over three commissioned years, I would prefer they go in as an officer from the get-go. There are some things that the military teaches people that parents cannot. Getting the benefits is not something to scoff at either.

Besides from what they can get out of it, I think it is their duty to serve their community on either a local, state or national level. Military is my preferred choice, but there are other options: Police, Doctor, Nurse, Firefighter, teacher, local volunteer. Even if whatever service they do is part-time, they are still serving. That in itself is a lesson.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2014 6:37 PM

2014-10-22T18:37:11-04:00

The Army have grate opertunites for capable people!
The answer is yes! BC now i know what is avilable

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 22 at 2014 7:17 PM

2014-10-22T19:17:20-04:00

I wouldn't have any issue if my child decided they wanted to join the military. I may try to gently nudge him toward a particular service, but ultimately I'd share my knowledge and experience and allow him to make his own educated decision.

Response by SFC Stephen Hester made Oct 22 at 2014 7:28 PM

2014-10-22T19:28:23-04:00

I had no reservations about letting my son join the Army. He's now a medic and even though he probably won't make it a career he has earned right to be called a Soldier. I couldn't be more proud of him.

Response by CPO Bernie Bellew made Oct 23 at 2014 12:39 AM

2014-10-23T00:39:30-04:00

No, I would not. The term "military service" only applies to the enlisted ranks. For the upper echelon, it's one big gravy train supported by the top brass. At one time the military was a paycheck for an individual that couldn't quite fit into the civilian world. With all of the recent down sizing's, ridiculous management, and indecisiveness, a military career is one big joke.

Response by 2LT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2014 8:06 AM

2014-10-23T08:06:13-04:00

We don't have any kids yet and are not planning on having them any time soon. When we do and that is a topic of discussion, we would definitely go over the pros and cons of joining the military. I would hope that my children chooses education first verses going straight in. My husband and I are military (he's enlisted Im an officer) so he/she would have both sides of the spectrum. In the end, the decision would be theres to make. If he/she decides a military life is what they want, I would definitely encourage the officer route!

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2014 10:02 AM

2014-10-23T10:02:26-04:00

I would talk to them about it, go over the pros and cons, but if that is what they wanted to do, i would support it 100%. I joined at 17 years old, but I just wanted to get out of the house, that was my main reason. I know the risks of being in, but like i said, if they wanted to join, i would support it

Response by SSG William Patton made Oct 23 at 2014 12:43 PM

2014-10-23T12:43:23-04:00

I would have to say no at this point in history. The current CIC has cut the military to a point where it is at levels close to pre WWII standards and in this world, it makes it a fighting force stretched too thin. Multiple deployments are taking an adverse toll on personnel and strain on their families. Now, the CIC is allowing illegal aliens to join the military. Lack of communication, education, and acculturation of new members could adversely affect the readiness and cohesion of the military. There are currently too many unknowns for me to be comfortable with a child or grandchild in the military today.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2014 7:32 PM

2014-10-23T19:32:51-04:00

My son is 16 years old and keeps telling me that he is going to join the Army when he is 18 years old , and if that is what he wants to do then I will give him my blessing. I will not make his decision for him, but I am going to offer my advise to him to make sure that he will make the best decision possible for his life.

Response by SPC Chelsea Fernandez made Oct 24 at 2014 4:41 PM

2014-10-24T16:41:06-04:00

My younger is in high school and she was looking to join the military. I highly recommend that she don't because I don't wont her to go through the same BS I went through. She has a lot of potential and really want to do it.

Response by PO2 Larry Eslinger made Oct 30 at 2014 4:33 PM

2014-10-30T16:33:54-04:00

The military is an honorable pursuit. However, our government is corrupt. Electronic voting, as evidenced in Illinois, is a sham. Manipulating the count was the dream of Joseph Stalin. Now that is automated. The two party system is not a choice. It deciding on two sides of the same coin. We are 17 Trillion in debt, and attack other countries under false pretense, leaving disasters of human tragedy in our wake. Libya had the 4th largest gold deposit in the world. Where did it go? We sponsor and supply Al Queda/ISIS/whatever the last one was that the White House made up (same groups of People, different name, look it up) who then use our weapons to behead, Crucify, Rape and Murder Christians all over the Middle East. Young People should be rising up against the tyranny of our own government, not signing up to serve it.

Response by SSG Jim Foreman made Oct 31 at 2014 2:46 AM

2014-10-31T02:46:51-04:00

Two of my boys enlisted, one is still serving (11b). I can't be more proud of my children.

Response by SFC Oranthal Smith made Nov 23 at 2014 8:56 AM

2014-11-23T08:56:08-05:00

No Sergeant!

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 6 at 2015 5:50 PM

2015-01-06T17:50:42-05:00

My son is just now 8 mos old (and is the reason I hope to be back in the Army Reserves by the end of the year). In about 17+ years form now, IF he wants to serve, I would give my blessing, though I would prefer he went in with some sort of education (at least his Bachelors). Also, I would want him to make sure to weigh all of his options (MOS, branch of service) before making a decision. I was Army and Navy, he has an uncle about to retire from the Army, and another who's a Marine; so I guess you could call it the "family business".

Response by CH (CPT) Heather Davis made Jan 7 at 2015 12:06 AM

2015-01-07T00:06:20-05:00

Every generation in my family has served, and one of my son's definitely showed and interest. I joined at 17, and I encouraged him to try JROTC, and to my surprised he is in MJROTC and he absolutely loves it.

I guide him and I ensure that he knows his regulation and what is lawful and what is not!! Just as my parent's let me take my wings, I intend to guide but not stifle his growth.

Response by LTC Stephen C. made Jan 8 at 2015 12:43 AM

2015-01-08T00:43:13-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member, neither of my children (one girl and one boy) ever had the slightest interest in military service, so for me it's a moot point. I will say, however, that I have the greatest admiration for you and your son. I'll bet you raised him right, gave him the best counsel that only a father that's a soldier could provide, and he'll make you proud.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 9:52 AM

2015-01-24T09:52:37-05:00

Knowing what I know now, I would still have my children to join and serve proudly in our Army. It bestows a trust and competence in them that they will endure forever!!! Dont stop a kids dreams because you may have had a bad experience in the military or lack knowledge thereof. Sometimes as parents, we don't allow our children to be diversified in the many cultures our world have to offer and as adults they are clueless as to what the world has to offer them in regards to stability, power, etc..

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2015 10:06 AM

2015-01-24T10:06:22-05:00

Yes. If he choses to do so. I will make sure that he understands what he's getting into. To the best of my ability, I will explain all of his options. Active Duty, Reserves, Guard etc. I have been Guard for my entire career. I don't want him to chose Guard just because I did. What ever the decision is, it will be his.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 28 at 2015 4:48 PM

2015-05-28T16:48:35-04:00

Just my opinion but it seems to me that that best human beings that you meet are the ones that serve in some way. Philanthropy is a good choice unless you are a poor working stiff like me lol ! Peace core or military, something that is "all in" makes your child a better human. I chose military service and honestly belive i am better for having served. My child is too young and this conversation is a long way off but i hope that if she chooses the military, i can show the courage you did. Kudos to you !!

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2017 4:48 PM

2017-08-31T16:48:52-04:00

Absolutely. There are some things that can't be taught in college. There is some growing up that just doesn't happen with most 18 and 19 year olds. Shoot, when my daughter turns 18 I may strongly suggest she go, lol.

Response by SPC(P) Mike Conley Jr. made Sep 1 at 2017 11:41 AM

2017-09-01T11:41:05-04:00

I think it's not parents decision. If they're not supportive then they at least need to keep in mind that it's not their choice.

Response by Sgt Wayne Wood made Sep 1 at 2017 2:30 PM

2017-09-01T14:30:59-04:00

Army? No! Marines? Absolutely!