Leaders: Leave your ego and emotions at the door

COL Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 08:18:00 -0500

The Green Book Deep Dive: How to Avoid Emotion as a leader

You must learn to deal with bad news for the good of the organization.

It is imperative that leaders stop having negative reactions to information, news, or events. Do you wear your heart on your sleeve and your face? These three techniques will help prevent showing your immediate shock, disapproval, or disagreement when dealing with a Subordinate, Peer, or Superior. When Subordinates bring Bad news– Ask if anyone is seriously hurt or deceased -we can fix any other problem. Next, ask yourself, “What was my exact guidance?” Oftentimes we get in a rush and believe our guidance was crystal clear when in fact it was not awesome. Report the facts to your higher headquarters immediately along with your recommended plan of action. Good leaders understand that bad things happen in good units. You are now a Leader, it is your job to fix organizational problems and develop options while maintaining a culture of trust. Trust is lost when you overreact. Once the situation is back on track have an AAR with your subordinate to learn from what happened and failed to happen. When Peers Bring Bad News– When a peer lets you down, find a solution and remain composed. It’s about the end state not the immediate challenge that you and the organization face. Leaders solve problems through informal peer leadership. Your reaction to bad news or challenges will determine the next evolution of peer culture in the unit. However, remember that you and others must hold your peers accountable to allow the organization to function. Accountability does not equal a public beat down. Communicate the facts to your peer and move on. When your Boss tells you something you don’t agree with – If you are a person that cannot keep your jaw from hitting the floor, execute what we call the Green Book Deep Dive. Immediately look down at your green book and take notes until you gain composure. Then communicate to your boss that you will explore options to meet their intent. Return with those options and the risk associated with each to receive a decision. This is no small point, He or She is the Superior or Commander and you are there to support the command and its Soldiers. Do not let your initial reaction mark you as disloyal. It is said that disagreement is not disrespect. You can disagree and are encouraged to do so, but the method you choose to communicate that disagreement can be disrespectful. Unless your leader wants something immoral, illegal, or unethical your job as a leader is to create and sustain options.

If you can remove negative reactions from your leadership style when dealing with subordinates, peers, and superiors you will maintain the culture of trust throughout the organization.

Read more of my advice at Prodev2go on Wordpress!

Response by TSgt David L. made Dec 1 at 2015 8:28 AM

TSgt David L. — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 08:28:13 -0500

Perhaps this should be issued to all 2nd Lts upon commissioning. Maybe also to NCOs at their first or second level of PME. Just saying! LOL

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Dec 1 at 2015 8:32 AM

SSG Audwin Scott — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 08:32:23 -0500

I agree, one thing about being a true leader is excepting responsibility of the good and bad that comes along with being a leader. Honestly it's when you make some mistakes and have some failures that actually define your true leadership capabilities.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Dec 1 at 2015 9:10 AM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 09:10:03 -0500

I totally agree...the unit takes on the attitude of its leadership...If you are having a bad day and show it, then the unit will be having a bad day. When you walk into your bldg. you better have an academy award winning smile and attitude because whatever attitude you have will be the order of the day.

Response by 1SG Paul DeStout made Dec 1 at 2015 9:33 AM

1SG Paul DeStout — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 09:33:37 -0500

Throughout my career, whenever I disagreed with my boss, I will ask questions. This does three things, first you can explore their thought process he/she used to come up with their decision (and maybe learn something). Second, you can relay your ideas with less of a chance of disrespect. Third and most important, you both get to know how each other works. After a while, my commander would walk into my office and say "Top, I need you to get X done and I know you want to do ABC but I really need this done CBA."

Response by SPC Christopher Perrien made Dec 1 at 2015 9:43 AM

SPC Christopher Perrien — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 09:43:04 -0500

To be honest unless you are a savant, "the less you speak , the smarter you sound". Leaders should "think" before speaking. Stay aloof without being aloof. It gets easier the older you get.

Response by CW3 Jim Norris made Dec 1 at 2015 11:00 AM

CW3 Jim Norris — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 11:00:51 -0500

My personal motto is that Nothing Gets Better With Age - tell me now, try and explain how 'whatever came about' and please have a way forward or two to correct/prevent the event from occurring again. As my father once told me 'with so many new things to break, why make the same mistake twice?'

Response by Capt Brandon Charters made Dec 1 at 2015 2:58 PM

Capt Brandon Charters — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 14:58:07 -0500

COL Private RallyPoint Member's Command Posts always fire me up. "Accountability does not equal a public beat down." Couldn't agree more, Sir.
This whole piece is an excellent lesson for young leaders (JMO & Enlisted).

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 1 at 2015 4:26 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 16:26:06 -0500

Undermining the boss might undermine missions to support, protect, and preparation of a sister unit.

Response by SSG John Caples made Dec 1 at 2015 6:33 PM

SSG John Caples — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 18:33:05 -0500

Hooah all the way Sir, Well Said Sir, Bravo

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 1 at 2015 6:48 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 18:48:15 -0500

Right on Sir! I would add that when you yourself screw up, notify the next level up in your chain of command immediately.

I once made a mistake as a company commander that had the potential to end my career. Prompt notification and discussion with the BN commander resulted in not only resolving the issue, but also increasing trust and understanding between us.

Integrity is everything.

Response by SFC Eric Williams made Dec 1 at 2015 9:35 PM

SFC Eric Williams — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 21:35:52 -0500

For you to post this message is proof you are a leader who intends to build leaders...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2015 2:25 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 02:25:32 -0500

If there is a problem there is a profit to be made. Spiritually, morally or financially who profits first is the key!

Response by PFC Jason Jackson made Dec 2 at 2015 2:41 AM

PFC Jason Jackson — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 02:41:17 -0500

I've learned one thing from real leaders, and that is this: Real leaders command respect, fake leaders demand respect. You cannot demand respect as a leader and expect it. I believe that if I walk into a business or a post, without knowing who is who, or what rank anyone was when I was in, then I can find the real leader. You cannot fake it as a leader. People will see right through you eventually. You have to earn respect. My DS's earned our respect in BCT by never letting us do anything they weren't willing to do themselves. After I got to permanent party I knew a lot of Sgt's that I wouldn't have gotten in a HUMVEE with much less let them lead me in combat. But, I knew E-4's that I would've taken a bullet for. Without question.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2015 6:00 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 06:00:22 -0500

This is good Sir!

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2015 1:13 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 13:13:09 -0500

Nailed it.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 2 at 2015 1:36 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 13:36:31 -0500

Sir
This is a great lesson of leader. The green book deep dive is a great tool to keep your tack with those appointed above us. Using the gbdd

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 3 at 2015 9:20 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 09:20:18 -0500

This presents a challenge for many leaders. They take things personal in a professional job.

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Dec 3 at 2015 1:36 PM

PO1 Donald Hammond — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 13:36:41 -0500

"Ask if anyone is seriously hurt or deceased" lol I used this on my kids. "is anybody bleeding or dead?" That usually helped settle them down. It works with adults too. Sitting at a desk job in a building that doesn't move, when somebody gets all panicky I ask "are we about to sink to the bottom of the ocean?" Then we move on from there.

I always found that when a superior said something stupid to me I would just say "let me think on that" or something similar because otherwise I would disagree in a disagreeable fashion. Compose yourself first, then speak. Like if you are going to send a rant via e-mail, save it as a draft for a day, then go back and re-read it and make changes or delete it. Let your cooler head prevail.

Always take the time to think about your response. It aint like they ran out of ice cream on the mess decks. Did they? WHAT???? WHO THE .....

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2015 5:33 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 05:33:11 -0500

This was a great morning read, thank you for the refresher.

Response by Andre Behrens made Dec 10 at 2015 1:23 PM

Andre Behrens — Thu, 10 Dec 2015 13:23:29 -0500

This is pretty applicable for civilian as well, fwiw.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Dec 11 at 2015 9:10 AM

SFC Stephen King — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 09:10:03 -0500

COL Private RallyPoint Member thank you for posting. I agree. My belief is Balance is required to be a leader. The other trait that I look for is empathy.

Response by PVT William Bresch made Dec 29 at 2015 9:56 AM

PVT William Bresch — Tue, 29 Dec 2015 09:56:48 -0500

Colonel,
1. first of all Leaders, don't fix past mistakes, they enforce the rules , first put in place, keep that up, you can call yourself, Mr. President.
2. the website you reference, is based on star wars rules, uh no.
3. if your boss, is breaking the rules or skimming them, what I call the razors edge, I wouldn't.
4. news is news bad or good, keep a poker face and you will do fine.