Manrules - what are yours?

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 16:42:19 -0500

I don't eat many bananas, but if I did, I would never do it in front of anyone.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Feb 8 at 2015 4:42 PM

Capt Richard I P. — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 16:42:58 -0500

Marines prefer to flagrantly violate this rule on purpose.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 4:49 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 16:49:22 -0500

That's a funny rule, CSM Private RallyPoint Member! Had me laughing out loud. Guess I'll have to watch my banana eating habits from here on out. HA HA HA!

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 5:08 PM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 17:08:39 -0500

Oh sh*t! I just snorted laughing at the banana-rule. :)

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 8 at 2015 5:11 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 17:11:46 -0500

Manrule# - Know how to change a tire. Make sure your kid knows how to change a tire.

Response by CW2 Joseph Evans made Feb 8 at 2015 5:20 PM

CW2 Joseph Evans — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 17:20:46 -0500

Fastest way to ensure single for life... Probably still lives in mother's basement...

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 5:43 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 17:43:56 -0500

It's obviously the "every other" rule for urinals and stalls in the bathroom.. Also, no loitering behind someone at either (unless it's a sports event, then we understand)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 6:42 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 18:42:59 -0500

Combatives: As long as you don't look each other in the eyes it is just wrestling...

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Feb 8 at 2015 8:18 PM

SPC(P) Jay Heenan — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 20:18:32 -0500

Are you kidding me? Sometimes I seek people out to eat a banana in front of!

When I was deployed, my main FOB had the latrine connex's (sp?) and the urinals had those little half walls in between them. Anyway, I would pick the middle one on purpose with the hopes someone would come and have to stand next to me. When someone did, I would wait just a moment, look over and say, "Hey, nice watch bro"...

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Feb 8 at 2015 9:35 PM

SGM Mikel Dawson — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 21:35:21 -0500

When you have other guys at the house, always leave the toilet seat up.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made Feb 8 at 2015 10:30 PM

COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 22:30:56 -0500

Manrules when it comes to public restrooms (not all inclusive).
1. Men are never allowed to go to the restroom in a group. 90 seconds must be allowed in between individuals of a group to go to the restroom even in a bar during a football timeout. Best to wait until the next time out.
2. Men are never allowed to use a urinal next to an occupied urinal unless all others are occupied or it creates an odd number in a line greater than 1 (3, 5, 7, etc).
3. When using a urinal, look straight ahead at all times even when engaging in conversation or when engaged by someone else.
4. Don't engage in conversaton with a stranger when at the urinal. See rules 1 ,2, 3.
5. Even if you do not believe in washing your hands after using the restroom, it is common courtesy to go through the motions of turning on the water and act like you are drying your hands even if you do not get your hands wet.
6. Shaking your tool more than twice to dry it off is considered close to masturbation and is therefore frowned upon in a public setting. Most often violated by young teenagers who have not been properly acclimated to the restroom manrules.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 12:58 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 00:58:52 -0500

Rule number 83: Even in a fight to the death, a man will never kick another man in the balls.

Response by CW2 Joseph Evans made Feb 9 at 2015 2:48 AM

CW2 Joseph Evans — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 02:48:18 -0500

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 6:14 AM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 06:14:41 -0500

Never slowly suck on your fingers to get the BBQ sauce off from eating ribs.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 12:40 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 12:40:18 -0500

Wise words to live by. Compliments of Barney Stinson.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 10 at 2015 7:34 AM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 07:34:36 -0500

Man rule#407: If you are going to wait for an open urinal, Proper cutesy is NOT to give a back rub while doing so.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 9:01 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 09:01:23 -0500

Man Rule #555:

A Man will make no comment about his feet if they are not covered.

Response by SPC Neil Hood made Feb 10 at 2015 11:19 AM

SPC Neil Hood — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:19:03 -0500

For a man there may be no way to eat a banana in a heterosexual way.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 12:44 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 12:44:42 -0500

Man Rule #1793 - Real drinks will be brown or clear in color, contain only two ingredients (including ice), and will not be garnished with fruit or umbrellas.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Feb 10 at 2015 1:14 PM

Capt Richard I P. — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 13:14:01 -0500

To give it a serious tone.... I call on Rudyard Kipling...

If—
By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Response by SGT Shaul Funt made Feb 10 at 2015 3:27 PM

SGT Shaul Funt — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:27:48 -0500

My man rull is....it's ok to cry at a funeral....but it's the only place

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 3:35 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:35:54 -0500

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 3:36 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:36:26 -0500

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 3:36 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:36:57 -0500

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 3:37 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:37:25 -0500

Response by SSgt Gregory Guina made Feb 10 at 2015 10:03 PM

SSgt Gregory Guina — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 22:03:39 -0500

No fruit in beer

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Feb 10 at 2015 10:35 PM

SSG Trevor S. — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 22:35:49 -0500

Never complement a man's watch at the urinal.

Never turn down coffee.

Response by SPC Larry Buck made Feb 11 at 2015 8:16 PM

SPC Larry Buck — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:16:32 -0500

Definitely never choke down one like the guy in the picture is.. Even alone !!!

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 8:18 PM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:18:47 -0500

Manrule #78: You must wait at least 24 hours to give a guy a nut check after he gives you one.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 8:36 PM

SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:36:11 -0500

When it comes to men bathrooms...

Response by SPC Richard White made Feb 11 at 2015 8:53 PM

SPC Richard White — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:53:18 -0500

Sing "I feel like a woman" out loud

Response by SFC Josh Jackson made Feb 11 at 2015 11:11 PM

SFC Josh Jackson — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 23:11:08 -0500

Don't be this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oOPn1t0Wiw

Kayaker Sinks into Marsh | "Sarah, Help Me!"

This kayaker thinks he's going out to have a great time, but he gets stuck in the marsh! He starts to sink, loses his shoes and calls his friend for help, on...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 12 at 2015 8:02 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 08:02:14 -0500

Break it....don't bite it.

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Feb 12 at 2015 2:10 PM

SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 14:10:41 -0500

SMDH, good advice.lol

Response by SFC Dan Sorrow, M.S. made Feb 12 at 2015 8:35 PM

SFC Dan Sorrow, M.S. — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 20:35:11 -0500

...and should never EVER lick their lips while the banana is approaching their mouth.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 12 at 2015 11:29 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 23:29:05 -0500

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 13 at 2015 7:31 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 07:31:41 -0500

Urinal etiquette, urinal etiquette, urinal etiquette.

Urinal Rules

Important rules when urinating

Response by SSgt K Saldana made Feb 18 at 2015 8:55 PM

SSgt K Saldana — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 20:55:19 -0500

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 9:49 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 21:49:17 -0500

This basically sums it up

Response by MSgt Joanna Clute made Feb 18 at 2015 10:30 PM

MSgt Joanna Clute — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 22:30:28 -0500

My guy friends violate these rules for fun. Big fans of the 'snuggle struggle'. Roflmao!

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Feb 19 at 2015 12:19 AM

LTC Jason Mackay — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 00:19:41 -0500

No sharing entrees. If you want to try something, then frigging order it. Exceptions: survival situations such as a shipwreck or your unit is cut off and you are splitting MREs.

No naked conversations, ie locker room etiquette. Gutteral utterances are acceptable to maintain good order and discipline; save life limb and eyesight; de conflict bench space; and avoid collateral touching.

While in a locker room setting, minimize general nakedness. Maximize coverage. You are either in a towel, shorts, shower, or in direct transition to an acceptable clothed state. No pasty, saggy strolling.

Never surrender your ruck or weapon unless you are being Medevac'ed, no matter how much it sucks or how much it hurts.

As a large mammal, if I am wounded and evacuation will put my comrades at risk, I expect to be left with a frag and a bag of chips. I'll buy as much time for you as I can. Hoist one for me later, name a high school or a sandwich after me.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Aug 9 at 2017 7:26 PM

SSgt Boyd Herrst — Wed, 09 Aug 2017 19:26:15 -0400

Good rule CW2 Evans !

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Aug 10 at 2017 7:50 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Thu, 10 Aug 2017 07:50:22 -0400

Sounds very sensible.