Many hands make light work

CSM David Heidke — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 11:17:03 -0400

If you want to see a microcosm of family dynamics in the military, you only need to look at the logistics of the annual holiday party. You have single Soldiers, Soldiers who are married with no kids, and some with kids. On top of that, you have the unit leadership. They all have very different wants and needs.

The single Soldiers need to come in early to prep for the meal. They are told that they are doing this so that those with guests and family can accompany their families to the day’s activities. Many of these people will grumble. Like many young people, they will likely think mostly of themselves. They will wish they had a spouse and kids so they wouldn’t have to stay late because, in addition to coming in early, they have to stay to clean up.

The Soldier with a spouse and no kids can come in slightly later than the Single folks. They are happy they aren’t single any more. They get to come with their significant other and leave when the briefings and the meal is done. They don’t necessarily want to be there. They want to bail as soon as possible to get on with their day, with their new spouse. It’s an easy day, one of the few in the military. When they leave, they will think of themselves and what they will do later on.

The Soldier with a spouse and kids usually has been talking to his/her family for weeks. He/she is telling the kids that Santa will be there and they will get a present, they’ll meet other kids from the unit, and maybe encourage them to make new friends. These Soldiers are happy to be there - they want to show off the Army to their family, and their beautiful families to their Army friends. They can come in later and they appreciate what the single Soldiers do and are happy to see their kids being able to do crafts, eat cookies, and have a great time at the unit. When they leave after the meal, they are thinking of their kids and how much fun they had. They will remember seeing their kids interact and they think about the memories they will have.

Finally, you have the unit leadership. They usually will come in and help set up. They will serve the meal. They will contribute to extra things for the kids. They will do all of this while still having their families attend and conducting unit business. They do this so they can allow families to be together. Sometimes their own families will have to fend for themselves as others try to steal leaders away for various reasons, but that’s what being a leader is about: taking care of everyone under his/her charge.

When you think of hosting a QC on a holiday, or having to mop the drill shed floor after the dinner, remember that being in the military isn’t about what’s in it for you. You are a team, a family. Each member has his/her own job and in order for it to function optimally, we all need to do our jobs. Sometimes it will be happy, and sometimes there will be complaining while we do it. Know that if you are doing your job, others who you are taking care of notice and are thankful for it. And remember that there is someone who did it long before you did, and most times they will be right there with you helping to clean up.

What are your experiences with organizational days?

Response by Col Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 30 at 2015 11:18 AM

Col Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 11:18:48 -0400

I agree that regardless of rank everyone should participate. I am currently trying to drill this into the head of my teenager. I had the opportunity to serve on the CGO council and we provided a free dinner to all the enlisted on base. It was a great occasion and it felt amazing to serve the workhorse of the Air Force.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 30 at 2015 11:25 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 11:25:45 -0400

Our christmas parties and such, show up at 0700 for all the mandatory briefings we didn't get to yet. Then family men get released at like 1130-1200 to grab their families and what not. Single soldiers stay behind to set up and help cook(I am all ways getting stuck in the kitchen, curse of working at a restaurant) single soldiers are then released at like 1530-1600 to change to be back at 1700. Party and what not follows, officers and SNCOs serve the food. Nobody can leave until Santa comes and then every leaves in like 30 seconds except the that one E-6/E-7 whose family couldn't make it and all the single soldiers. We get to clean up. earliest I have gotten out of one these shindigs was 2100.

You might say I am bitter but that's because at least with my unit we cater to the guys with families and the single soldier gets nothing but all the work, all the mess, none of the pleasure.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2015 10:53 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 14 May 2015 10:53:33 -0400

It's about attitude. Yes it's hard work to arrange and set up a family event at a unit. I've done it and been involved in each level. It never seemed to me that any level of involvement was ideal but that didn't affect my attitude about it. There was a job to be done and soldiers to be taken care of. I was usually the first there and the last to leave, no matter what. On top of that my situation was that I traveled from 8+ hours away to my unit and most times I took my son because I had nowhere to leave him. At first I used the family assistance program at a nearby post because they had a babysitting network. When members of the unit found out, they offered to have my son stay with them and on a few occasions I took him to the unit with me. He had a great experience there sometimes the armorer or motorpool SGTs would take him and show him their areas. One day, when my day began at 4 am with meetings (it was family day at the unit also) I took him in and at the end of the day, when we were leaving he got in the back seat and laid down, then he sat up and said, "Thank you Mom". I said, "For what?". He said, "For taking me to work with you." It had been an exhausting day for him and I was surprised to hear him say this. I also took him to the unit Christmas party and other events. He loved each one. My son is a teen now and has many of these soldiers as Facebook friends. Who would you want your teenagers FB friends to be? I'm very happy about it. He refers to them as "Our Army Family". Personnel will see how hard you work and how committed to them you are and they will respond in kind. Keep this in mind if you're feeling frustrated or worn out.