Medically Retired Against Your Wishes?

2014-08-28T20:39:47-04:00

This thread is primarily for those of us who were medically retired against our wishes....
I had 18.5 years in and was medically retired. I was beside myself with grief, anger, frustration, guilt, betrayal,.......... the list is endless. I was always going to be a 30 yr man and even then I was going to retire kicking and screaming. I mean, I have a 24 yr old tattoo of a Bradley fighting vehicle on my arm. Serving is all I wanted to do. To get to 18.5 and NOT cross the finish line really tore me up inside.
My question is simple....How did you handle the transition? Are you still having a hard time with your feelings or have you made your peace? If you are willing, please share for the welfare of the group.

Response by SFC James Baber made Aug 28 at 2014 9:35 PM

2014-08-28T21:35:08-04:00

Mark,

I almost had that situation in the late 90's as I was the victim of a botched surgery by the chief of orthopedics at Darnell Hospital in 1996, they drug it out for few years were going to discharge me with 20% and no mention of the screw up on the part of the doc, I threatened to sue, because medical malpractice is the only thing you as the SM can sue for while still on active duty, lets just say drug it out for about another 7-8 months and returned me to regular duty.

Response by SFC James Baber made Aug 28 at 2014 9:38 PM

2014-08-28T21:38:22-04:00

I forgot to add that I wasn't mentally prepared for the end to come that is why I think I fought so hard, even when I did finally retire in 2010 I still didn't actually want to go, but didn't really have a choice because I refused to take a 1SG slot to deploy for 10th time, so they told me to retire and only got 4 months to do that by the time orders came through.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 29 at 2014 12:13 PM

2014-08-29T12:13:25-04:00

You have to mourn the dream of what would have been, and accept what is. I think finding meaning and identity outside of the military is key. Even if you served for 30 years, you'd still have a life outside of the military - being thankful for what you have as opposed to what you didn't accomplish. Enjoy famly, friends and life and everything you wished you would have done but couldn't do because you were on active duty.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Sep 11 at 2014 3:27 PM

2014-09-11T15:27:10-04:00

SFC Mark Merino one thing you should never lose sight of is that YOU DIDN'T QUIT. Big difference. Sometimes our bodies just won't do everything we ask of them, and that just is what it is. You're a good man, you served your country well and with distinction, and your presence here means that you continue to do that today. Rock on, Brother. Get that back well, and on to the next phase line. The Mission will continue.

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Sep 12 at 2014 4:13 PM

2014-09-12T16:13:13-04:00

SFC Merino and RP family,

I have many regrets, frustration, guilt, betrayal, and of course the ever present anger.

I still struggle. My unit did nothing for me at retirement, even though they new it was coming. My favorable memories come from my Iraq tour, my previous units, and looking back at the people who influenced me and allowed me to grow into a Senior NCO.

The process for medical retirement is still broken. The MEB/PEB process is filled with a constant and consistent lack of information, never ended waiting for the VA to finish ratings, exams, or something else, and a lack of urgency on anyone's part. Once a deicsion is made be prepared for further delays and lack of information from the CRSC personnel, DFAS, and or others.

Slowly, I am picking up my ruck sack and starting to move on. I am proud of my service, for how I served, and for retiring, but it is not easy to remain positive even with the pride.

SFC Joseph M. Finck USA (Ret)

Response by SGT Michael Kuha made Sep 13 at 2014 12:25 AM

2014-09-13T00:25:33-04:00

Hey Mark,

Look I understand completely. I only was allowed to serve for 6 1/2 years al though your time in is a great deal more then me, I was going for live my wife was all for it and my kids were on board too. but they found somethings wrong with me and stopped me from going on my next deployment I was an SGT and I was taking the time to prep my squad for deployment I felt like I was letting them down. but then it really hit me when they said med board.... I fought it tooth and nail but in the end I lost. The thing that helped me on my way out was what a maj told me "SGT you did good you have done everything that was asked of you and for that thank you. SGT Kuha your mission has been accomplished time to go home." she then saluted me I think that I had a tear in my eye. My point in telling you this is some of us were ready and felt that the military was the reason why we were born but sometimes our mission is cut short. Mark one thing you might be able to do is try to help others that may get out before their time it will help I was discharged in 2011 and I find myself still thinking and wishing I was still in it does get better Mark it will just take time. I hope I helped but hang in there you are not alone

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 13 at 2014 2:14 AM

2014-09-13T02:14:15-04:00

I retired this July 2014 with (20+ yrs), not the medical retirement as I had originally planned out to do and not the way I had envisioned. The primary reason I decided to retire was due to some ongoing medical issues. I felt "combat ineffective", I could no longer provide my best effort to Soldiers in my unit and it was gut wrenching. Even though my mind was able to process daily business from simple to complex, my body couldn't keep up. My leadership could see I was operating at 50% or lower, but still giving 110%. I am sure I could have pushed it further, I mean because I was already doing that anyways, putting my health more at risk, telling everyone I was ok, you know the "I'm just getting old" line.

Part of the other reasons to retire, I could no longer help make changes in the organization to make it better and I didn't have the drive anymore. It took every ounce to perform at 100%. A fellow RP member described it best "I eventually felt that it was time to think about MY morale and MY happiness. I chose to retire". I also had to think about what was best for the organization, so I had to pass the torch.

Did the whole ACAP thing, did the resumes, the job interviews, did all the right things trying to land a job while I was on transition leave and even after my final out date, still nothing, no job. I new it wasn't going to be easy but damn. So going back to college is the next step. My college credits I did have, no good, thanks to a school losing its accreditation, you adapt an overcome. If the VA decides, one day this century, I am eligible for CDRP and what I get for retired pay, I may just say thats enough for me, and just roll with the punches. I've accepted in some way and its still a struggle but I promised myself I will meet the sunrise everyday.

Response by Capt Nicole Andrews made Sep 14 at 2014 6:51 PM

2014-09-14T18:51:10-04:00

I was just medically retired one month ago at 21+ years. I'm prior enlisted, had Major in the bag and would have met my Major board in May 2015. It's still quite new for me. I'm adjusting, albeit slowly.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jun 15 at 2015 1:08 PM

2015-06-15T13:08:51-04:00

Just out of curiosity did you receive a military retirement? I am stable now and take solace in that. At some point a person who is at the best they can be should relish the progress made.

Response by SGT Kevin Brown made Jun 15 at 2015 3:05 PM

2015-06-15T15:05:55-04:00

I fought the MEB and won twice, swinging out though on my third one. I was medically retired after damn near 13 years just last Friday. I wish I could give you advice, but right now I'm as lost as shit, feeling all those things you mentioned before your question. I'm still trying to figure out what all I have to do, no one seems to know much of anything. Hope everything gets better for you and if I find something that helps out I'll keep you in mind.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jun 16 at 2015 5:57 PM

2015-06-16T17:57:44-04:00

Have no regrets if you fought the good fight.

Response by PO1 Darren Martin made Mar 23 at 2016 12:58 PM

2016-03-23T12:58:22-04:00

I was in the same boat but I just accepted it and went back to college and moved on. I actually do very little with military related events and when people ask me about my service I try to ignore it but I retired at 23 going on 24.

I went to college, graduated, went and go my MBA immediately after undergrad from a top 10 program. Most other veterans in my class were around my age (28 at the time) and all of them officers. I never told anyone I was a veteran until someone saw my Purple Heart licence plates on my car. When asked by a former Army Infantry officer why I never told anyone I was a veteran in class I told him I just could careless about that time in my life. I honestly just needed to move on and not relive the glory days. The biggest issue I saw with veterans during business school is that most could not move on past that point in their life and always wanted to discuss being in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Qatar, ect. Those are the guys that cant seem to move on from the past and actually hurt themselves more.

I have been out longer now then I was in and I never put it on my resume and do not miss being in the military. I retired at the end of 2008. I still talk to two guys I was in the service with and we mostly talk about business related events, politics, and life as we all took the same route. I kept in contact with a lot more guys the immediate years following but as time went on I just never had anything in common with most of them except the military service and most of them had lack luster careers anyway and never really did anything outside of the military.

Response by AA Joseph Moody made Jul 9 at 2017 8:22 AM

2017-07-09T08:22:47-04:00

I did a hitch in the Navy and then some years later entered federal service, I won't lie, I knew going in that I had some damage and I had thought that I found a place where I could ride it out till retirement and still do something productive for my country, or in other words I was just like every other vet in federal service.

And I did quite well for several years, I was an excellent tech, I would troubleshoot in minutes what would take others hours, and in the hands of most good supervisors I was a highly proactive tech despite my issues. Not saying I did not get pulled aside from time to time, but in general it only took a warning for me to straighten up. And the good supervisors would in general cut me some slack on the off days. Most of them had some issues themselves personally and did not get to upset at a panic attack or an employee who would lose a few hours now and then. And quite frankly I was far from the only one, federal service and depot level maintenance tends to attract a type of person.

But like many things in life, it takes more then one trait or event to make things happen and at best my home life was stressful (2 disabled parents), and between added stressors, prior psychological issues and a supervisor who was the type who has never gone a month without writing someone up((we had union stewards who worked in other buildings who bought into our coffee mess because it was cheaper and they were down that often))...we will just say that 2 years later I was put out the door on a medical retirement. Quite likely had a opted to take a different pill or had a different supervisor or any number of factors it may have turned out differently but...what happened happened.

After I got out, I took up art, 3d modeling. I starting knowing nothing about the field and several years later I'm to the point where I am a decent character artist who understands the workflow from start to finish. Because the attention to detail to work on a missile system is the same attention to detail you need to sculpt a nose or eye. Being put out due to a medical only points out something physical or mental that conflicted with your mission requirements and perhaps there were some personalty conflict aspects to it as well, but what made you great before can make you great again. be proud of who you were but don't let that take away from who you could be.

Response by LTC Charles T Dalbec made Dec 27 at 2017 12:58 PM

2017-12-27T12:58:29-05:00

Mark, thank you very much for your nearly twenty ‘good’ Years of military service in an MOS that you Loved. Seek assistance with the VA to seek not only a job in sane field plus seek assurance to join in the counseling that the VA provides to help you and others in a one on one or group therapy setting.

You gave a big Hooah from me for what you accomplished for yourself and your fellow Solduers and Civilians.

Response by LTC Charles T Dalbec made Dec 27 at 2017 1:02 PM

2017-12-27T13:02:39-05:00

ALL sometimes the unit bimbos were luck if they could poor a good cup of java. Remember that you did your best and you are marching on. Feel free to contact me for suggestions as after 32 years in uniform and seven Army civilian years they did nothing for me either!!
Mu Head is up high as I always like you did your very best. Hooah!!

Response by PV2 Wayne Carmichael made Aug 19 at 2018 1:29 AM

2018-08-19T01:29:41-04:00

After 35+ yrs I still have times where I’m upset with the Army’s decision to retire me.

With a lot of work, help from friends and faith...you literally just have to move forward.

Like you I had every intention to be a 30yr man...I come from a very long line of military service.

It’s my personal belief that NOTHING happens WITHOUT a reason...keep that in your back pocket and...Drive On!