Military Dating: The Green Side

2015-12-07T13:48:14-05:00

Being in the military is a different experience for men and women. While most men find it very easy to find 'significant others’ outside of the service they are in, it’s not that easy for women.

Many civilian men are hesitant when it comes to dating a woman who is probably a better shot than they are. Then of course, there is the fact that the women will probably be called upon to serve in a war zone of some sort, while he would be stuck at home, sending care packages and worrying each time he turns on the news.

What this leads to is the fact that most men in the military will marry civilians, and most military women will marry military men. While this does simplify the explanations about upcoming deployments, it tends to leave many men with small children on a regular basis. This leads to thousands of men who develop a casual ease with childcare, and I think it’s time to let the secret out.

I state here and now, for women, a man who knows his way around diapers, formula, favorite toys and bedtime stories is more revered in some circles than Chesty Puller (forgive me Gen Puller!). There is just something about a big tough military man with a diaper bag draped over his shoulder, corralling an active year old child with casual ease in the commissary that make women's hearts flutter.

For a woman in uniform, who wants a child at some point, you know that the man you choose, will be Mr. Mom on a semi-regular basis during your career. The trick for us is telling which man will be up for the job, and which of them will run screaming for the hills the moment that first diaper comes off and the smell burns its way through your nose. I tell you this so that you will understand the doe-eyed smiles of women in uniform, should you make a fast trip to the PX or a commissary run with the kids. It’s not so much your masculine appeal, (which, I am sure is greatly to be admired,) but it’s the casual way you deal with missing shoes, dropped binkies, and the constant “whys” that drives any parent to near insanity at times.

So, there you have it. Military women are a different breed. We not only want romance, affection, and love... we want a man who isn't going to quiver in terror the second a baby is shoved into his arms. Sure, we might be a bit more work than a civilian woman, but who else is ever going to understand your life choices as well as we can?

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 1:52 PM

2015-12-07T13:52:00-05:00

lol and that is a fact :)

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 4:03 PM

2015-12-07T16:03:47-05:00

This is way too true! Finally, someone has been able to put this feeling into words!

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 7:55 PM

2015-12-07T19:55:48-05:00

In my civilian job, I worked with active duty and veteran women. I admired these women for their dedication and commitment to the Space Shuttle Program. These women were leaders and better at their jobs than the women who never served. I made theses observations over a 33 year career.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Dec 7 at 2015 9:14 PM

2015-12-07T21:14:33-05:00

I think men just have more choices. There are generally more men than women in the military. And let's be honest here. When you're the "new girl" in the shop (though I think you should really just be referred to as the new person/Marine/Sailor, etc.), at least 1 or 2 male counterparts are going to try and date you!

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2015 9:42 PM

2015-12-07T21:42:20-05:00

The first thing to remember in the dating world now is "DO NOT date co-workers." That being said I was in a tactical squadron, I never saw women at work in my squadron until I reenlisted and there were a few in S1. I know we had a female flight surgeon, but she didn't deploy with us that I know of. There was a woman assigned to our avionics shop, but she was FAPd to MWR until her EAS and I never met her. School was the only time I ever saw women that I could interact with and most of them were Navy. During my time in the late 80's, women that I knew of, would come down with spontaneous immaculate conception and become non-deployable. I would have dated a military woman had i met one and we clicked, but they were few and far between.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 23 at 2015 6:33 PM

2015-12-23T18:33:28-05:00

Interesting.... While I was in, if I weren't already married, I believe that I would most likely end up with a female service-member...

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Aug 1 at 2016 11:51 AM

2016-08-01T11:51:23-04:00

When I was active duty (1985 - 1989) the Navy went out of their way to break up any service relationship you had. Didn't matter if you had a Navy girlfriend, Army girlfriend, whatever. If she was military, the Navy was gonna try and break it up. And its not my imagination...I was the payroll/admin guy. So I was typing up the very commands and orders causing this racism. And God help you if you married that girl. The Navy'd send you to timbuktu and her to BFE. For ten year tours! So it was easier to marry a civilian.

Response by CPT Maria Burns made Aug 12 at 2016 1:11 AM

2016-08-12T01:11:01-04:00

I know the original post is a bit old, but when I was in, I used to joke that male officers when they reached captain, maybe at the latest Major, were issued a Spouse, female, NSN Qty. 1.
Married female officers on the other hand...I'd heard of a few. Very rare creatures.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Aug 12 at 2016 6:49 AM

2016-08-12T06:49:40-04:00

The guys are scared that the lady will be able to do better in a fight then them.

Response by SFC Jim Ruether made Oct 16 at 2017 1:53 PM

2017-10-16T13:53:34-04:00

I am not bragging but I took care of three at a time. I delegated my authority and my oldest child carried the diaper bag (Daughter), my second oldest(son) carried the formula and my littlest boy held onto the nook. If you don't know what a nook is then may God have mercy on your soul you aren't going to make it. Instead of "Medic" they are going to scream, "We need a dad in here NOW!"

Response by Maj John Bell made Oct 24 at 2019 5:34 AM

2019-10-24T05:34:07-04:00

If you have enough duct tape on hand, small children are easy.