Most humbling or embarassing military moment?

Col Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 18:38:02 -0500

So, it would appear that we've all been there, you know, one of those "whoops" moments... well, maybe it made you laugh, or made you cringe, but one thing is for sure... you'll never forget it! There could be a moral to the story, a lesson learned, wisdom gained, or perhaps it was just plain funny... whatever it was, what's that one stand-out moment in your career? This should be a great time and I'm certain that it'll help facilitate continued inter-service discussion and understanding. Those humbling moments make for great stories and help keep us grounded and able to connect across generation and cultural barriers. So, please feel free to add any links, sound files, photos, or anything else necessary to help tell your story. Now, it's about that time, so pull up a keyboard and let's get this thing started; thank you for all that you do, and... see you all in the discussion threads!

Response by MSG Phil Herndon made Feb 16 at 2014 6:44 PM

MSG Phil Herndon — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 18:44:49 -0500

Probably deciding to quit the Ranger Regiment.  Even though I wasn't suited for that life, and I still to this day remember things taught to me there, I regret that decision the most

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2014 6:45 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 18:45:32 -0500

Sir, I'd say my "whoops" moment, as well probably a very funny one, was shortly after I got to my first unit. Several of us from the S&T section went out to the field to "assault" our Commo Section who was doing a field exercise.

We conducted a first assault then went home. The next day we went back out there to hit them again. Our goal was to seize their commo van. Upon hitting the objective, I noticed a clear gap and straight path to the van. I took it upon myself to "flank" them but I stumbled on two defenders. At one point, I just said "screw it", got up and dead sprinted to the van. I got about halfway when I felt something entangle my legs and I went forward. Dumb me, I had my M16 in my hand and did not let it go. Fell forward onto the M16, hitting my chin on the front sight post. Unfortunately, my CDR, acting as an observer, was about 100 feet away and was shaking his head laughing. What had happened was I apparently did NOT see the string of concertina wire that was strung across the path. My left leg got entangled in it. Needless to say, I have a double set of scars on my left leg, a small scar on my chin and acquired the nickname "Rambo".

Response by CH (CPT) Heather Davis made Feb 16 at 2014 9:50 PM

CH (CPT) Heather Davis — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 21:50:03 -0500

I was a brand new WO1, and unfortunately for me, I had a brand new MAJ who made my life miserable. We were on a land nav exercise and he directed me to obey him and go on a path which led me in deep wet dirt and to make matters worse I stumbled and he took my weapon while I landed face down in the dirt. The 1LT was told not to go that way and she did not have to complete the exercise, it was our last night before we deployed. I waited until he saw me and I intentionally threw my boots away and bought a new pair.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2014 10:05 PM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 22:05:57 -0500

I'll never forget being a a brand new PVT at Fort Carson and we were getting ready to go out to do some Sergeant's Time Training. We all formed up and then I realized for some reason everyone kept looking at me and laughing. I couldn't figure it out until finally the PSG came out took one look at me and said a Rink you idiot your Kevlar is on backwards.....:( didn't live that one down for months. Taught me a great lesson too, check yourself before you head out the door. 

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2014 10:24 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 22:24:33 -0500

It was my first morning down range.  I walked out of my room at the crack of dawn and saw a lone soldier about 30 feet away, facing my direction and holding a salute.  Being the well-trained soldier that I am, I snapped to attention, did an about face, and saluted for reveille.<div> </div><div>I couldn't see the flag and the trumpet was too faint to hear, so after about 20 seconds I peeked over my shoulder to see if the other soldier had ordered arms yet.  He had changed positions and that's when I realized that he wasn't saluting...  he was talking on his cell phone.  </div>

Response by SFC Stephen P. made Feb 17 at 2014 1:51 AM

SFC Stephen P. — Mon, 17 Feb 2014 01:51:27 -0500

I once managed to distinguish myself by smacking the national colors on the door frame whilst retiring them from a division officers' dinner.

Response by MAJ John Drake made Feb 18 at 2014 10:02 PM

MAJ John Drake — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 22:02:26 -0500

While stationed at Hood in the TF XXI Brigade 3 Shop, I was the Day Shift Battle Captain for the BDE Main. During one of our Ramp-ups on the Army's first Digital TOC, I was laying down a "Hellfire and Brimstone" collective butt chewing on TOC personel for the lack of BFA noise discipline during a practice Commander's Update Brief. The "Cheap Seats" had been much too rowdy and it was my job to fix it. The BDE XO was patiently waiting for me to complete my task so we could reset and run through it again.....as we had 3 times prior.

Cavalrymen take pride in their ability to cosume alcohol and curse. We consider the latter an art form, especially when given a captive audience on a big stage. As the last of the obscenities frothed from my Copenhagen spackled mouth, the OPS SGM called the TOC to attention and in strode, Ironhorse 6, the DIV CDR. He was wearing a Cheshire Cat'ish grin as he made his way through the SICCUPs to chat with the XO.

I later was informed, by the OPS SGM, that he had waited outside the TOC entrance for me to complete my 5 minute tirade, before entering...grinning from ear to ear the whole time.

Response by Col Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2014 10:41 PM

Col Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 22:41:19 -0500

In order to encourage maximum participation, here are a few discussions that you may find interesting; thank you for all that you do, and... see you all in the discussion threads! https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/62737-question-of-the-moment

Question of the moment!

What decisions have you made in your career that you look back on feel where mistakes? What have you learned from them?

Response by SFC Gary (Bigsarge) Portier USARMY RET. made Mar 11 at 2014 12:39 PM

SFC Gary (Bigsarge) Portier USARMY RET. — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 12:39:04 -0400

Most embarrassing Military moment for me is Serving 32 years and never deploying.My greatest regret at retirement.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 11 at 2014 1:07 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:07:47 -0400

I was on my first field exercise after coming back onto active duty.  It was just before sunset and an infantry squad showed up at the engineer AA looking for support for a night mission.  I happened to be walking by and got 'Hey you'd by the 1SG.The infantry squad put the engineers on point (go figure) and we headed out into the swamps of Ft. Stewart.At one point, up to our armpits in swamp water, my lead man stopped and I nearly ran into his back.  I asked him why the hell he had stopped and he said there was a log in his way.  I told him to see if he could push it out of the way with the butt of his weapon.  He started to push on it and then jumped backwards and nearly knocked us both under.  I asked him angrily (but quietly) what the f*** was the problem.  He said "Sergeant, that f***ing log opened its eyes and looked at me!!!!!"  It turned out to be about an 8 foot gator.  We did the only thing we could at that point and quietly waded by.Lesson learned:  when the infantry wants to go swimming in the middle of the night in Southeast Georgia, tell them they're on their own!! LOL

Response by SSG Jason Hoadley made Mar 11 at 2014 1:40 PM

SSG Jason Hoadley — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:40:40 -0400

I was a young and eager SPC while stationed at FT Sill (2000-2002)

The Maintenance Platoon was assigned Qual range detail, and as we were setting up the PSG noticed that we didnt have hearing protection.

I offered to drive down to the Hospital and draw some from Occupational Medicine.

I get to the Hospital and notice that the log book was not in the M998, I try to wrap the lock cable around the wheel and run in.

The BDE CSM was following us back in from the range and decided to do a spot check on the truck I was driving.

I finish up inside the hospital and returned to a missing truck.

The following day was spent Reporting to every Officer and Senior NCO from my 1SG to the BDE Commander..

My corrective training for this "whoops" was driving in to post every hour for a week and signing the DA 702 the the 1SG had taped to the front door of the BTRY office

Response by SFC Aaron Calmes made Mar 13 at 2014 3:39 AM

SFC Aaron Calmes — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 03:39:13 -0400

Well sir I have a good one that is not mine but I have to share. While stationed in Korea we were preparing for EIB testing by doing land navigation lanes constantly. We were specifically told by the CSM not to take off our kevlars during the lanes. After hiking to the top a a very large hill/small mountain to get to the point on top I came across a new 2LT up at the same point with his kevlar hanging from his canteen. After writing down the point he got out his map to plot the next point. Next to point was a cliff with a few hundred feet drop and a log to try and prevent Joe from accidentally falling off. The LT then proceed to sit down on the log a which time his kevlar came unhooked and proceed to roll over the cliff bouncing loudly all the was down. He looked up a me and all I could say was I sure wouldn't want to show up in front of the CSM without MY kevlar. Apparently he spent the remaining three hours recovering his kevlar from the bottom of the ravine as he showed up at the end with it on his head and no additional points found.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 13 at 2014 4:04 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 04:04:37 -0400

Mine came early...like first time meeting my first PSG early. I had arrived at the unit while they were in the field and spent the 1st week in a room across from CQ, waiting day in and day out for instructions.  I ate chow, went to my room and waited, I didn't do anything else. I was still in an OSUT mindset that had been reinforced at the Reception Battalion "No boots while on a bed" and because I had spent a week waiting, I was sitting on my bed but had taken my boots off. My 1SG walked in and I immediately flew to parade rest while he introduced himself, and then told me to follow him to meet my platoon.  I threw my boots on and went to lace them up and tie them.  1SG said "You can tie them in a minute, I'm in a rush"  being a brand new private I didn't hesitate or question 1SG and followed him out to the hall and into my platoon office.  My PSG, listened to 1SG the whole while glancing at my boots and then glaring at me.  My PSG's first words to me were "They don't teach you to tie your ****ing boots in basic private Barin?", I looked to 1SG to back me up and he just grinned and walked out of the office whistling, while I stammered through an explanation.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2014 4:56 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 04:56:02 -0400

I was the driver for LT and we were coming back from a range recon and we passed a range shed that had FK KY. I said hey sir look someone vandalized that shed and pretty much wrote FUCK KENTUCKY. he laughed and said "SMITH damn it, I love your accent" and no that means Fort Knox, KY... Was a good laugh at my expenses.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2014 5:06 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 05:06:01 -0400

I got another funny moment, wasn't funny then but it is now....To me at least, not everyone. I was in basic training getting a range brief and I was on the top of the bleachers dozing off and I accidentally dropped my M16 through the bleachers. It was just like that Plinko game on the Price is Right bouncing it's way down....dead silence occurred with vulgar cussing asking who's it was. I stood up and went down to retrieve it and OMG. They were pissed and said they would talk to me later about it. After the range I lived in dread for the next few weeks hoping they wouldn't remember it and they never did.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2014 9:28 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 09:28:00 -0400

It was in Afghanistan in 2010 in the Helmand province. We were staying at A afghan army outpost along highway 1. It was just before 02:00, A soldier was stepping out of the MRAP when he slipped and grabbed the door handle on his was down to the ground he was wearing ACH/ MCH when the door closed on his ACH and head. The soldier proceeded to scream as loud as he can. Every starts grabbing there body armorer and weapons and starts running to the different guard towers. This young private still screaming for help but nobody at first where it was coming from. I tell one of my soldiers to go check on MRAP, that when he finds the soldier hanging there by his ACH screaming. The SGT grabs the handle opens and the young soldier falls to the ground. after we have the medic exam him and determines it be in are best interest to keep a eye on him overnight and medevac if his headache worsens. The next day he just kept explain to us the story how it happened. All we could do was laugh about it. worse scream any of us ever heard in are life, we thought one of are soldiers were being kidnapped, just end up being the PLT klutz somehow managing to get his head stuck between the frame of the door and body of the MRAP. Luckily he had his ACH on or he probably would not alive today.

Response by SGT Bryon Sergent made Mar 20 at 2014 9:36 AM

SGT Bryon Sergent — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 09:36:36 -0400

I was OJT out to our Battalion motor pool for about 3 months in an Infantry unit. They needed help for a Div inspection comping up. I was doing the little thing as I was machanically inclined. One afternoon I am on my creeper and under a hmmwv putting on a new starter. The 24 volt system, those things wieght probably 50, 60 lbs I guess. I have one bolt threaded and trying to start the second when someone kicks my foot, and asks me where the chief is. I politely tell them I don't know and not to kick my foot. Well they kick my foot the second time" hey troop where is the motor SGT. I then explictly tell the individual that if they kick my foot again that i'll come out and address the issue harshly. WELL the person grabs my legs and jerks me out from under the HMMWV the starter hits the ground and thats when the BDE CSM face went about 4 shades of Grey and I realized who I had been speaking to.

In the end we both appologized and after talking for a couple of minute at parade rest, we went and found the Chief!

Response by SGT Donald Croswhite made Mar 20 at 2014 2:58 PM

SGT Donald Croswhite — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 14:58:53 -0400

That moment when every atom in your body jumps at the same time, you relize you left your weapon in the porta-john. When I found that it was still there I hugged it like a long lost twin, promising my M4 that I would never do that again.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2014 10:13 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 22:13:32 -0400

In my 2nd week of basic training, another trainee and I took out a few bags of trash. When marching in details of 2-3, the regulation states to carry things in your left hand (so if faced with saluting, you are still able) however marching around in small groups so early on in basic training was rare. In larger groups, you carry things in your 'outside hand'. Anyway... I was still in robot mode and had this giant bag of trash in my right hand when our squadron commander pops out of his office.. The gal next to me didn't even recognize him, and didn't even salute. I scrambled to make a decision on what to do and saluted him, a Lt Col, WITH MY LEFT HAND.

I was so embarrassed and immediately wanted to hang my head in shame. Luckily, he was very understanding once we told him how new we were. When he set us straight (without yelling or smoking either one of us), it instilled in my mind that not all supervisors are out to make you do 100 pushups.

... and maybe made me fear the drill instructors a little less.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2014 2:46 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 02:46:47 -0400

I was downrange at BIAP in 2003.  I deployed solo as a backfill in a medic slot and arrived a few days before the rest of the rotation was scheduled to show up.  When I went to the clinic, the medic NCOIC told me to disappear for a few days and get settled in, so I took shuttle from Camp Sather to Camp Victory and from there I took a bus to the Green Zone.  I saw all the sights in downtown Baghdad and then returned to Camp Victory, awaiting my shuttle bus back to Sather.  A bus stopped and a friendly Iraqi man opened the door and in broken English asked me where I was going.  I boarded the bus and that is when the fun began.  For the next few hours I was outside of the wire with a strange man, and no one knew where I was as he proceeded to go to several houses and pick up his cousins, children, wives and who knows who before bringing them back to the base.  During that time my heart was in my throat as I imagined all the things that could go wrong and wondering whether I would make it back to my hooch.  Luckily they were friendly, even if their English was severely limited.  I had bought some Chips Ahoy from the PX at Victory, and they seemed really keen on eating them, so I shared them and kept on smiling as I quietly shit my pants.  I eventually figured out that they were employed at the base laundry facility and I was going to be safe, but for a few hours I was reliving all the poor choices that had led me to that point in my life.

Response by SFC Robert Putzer made Mar 21 at 2014 2:39 PM

SFC Robert Putzer — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 14:39:17 -0400

I not so tactfully corrected the III Corps CSM back in 1997 for having his hands in his pockets while he observed our funeral detail practice.  Let's just say that SPC Putzer got some serious corrective training from the Division, Brigade, Battalion CSM's and my 1SG.  For the record, His back was to me and I didn't know who it was.  Best lesson ever in Tact.  I've never forgot it.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2014 9:57 PM

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 21:57:31 -0400

Most humbling...

The ENTIRE Arabic course at DLI. I shouldn't have to go too far into detail with this one. I've never had a problem with academics in my life until I arrived at DLI.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Mar 21 at 2014 10:02 PM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 22:02:50 -0400

My first firefight, we were bounding toward our target. The ammo drum on my SAW detached and I tripped over my rounds... My barrel went straight into the dirt, my vest slammed into the buttstock and my weight drove half the barrel into the dirt.  I ate floor, got the wind knocked out of me and I missed the whole thing...

Response by SPC(P) Delcina Myers made Mar 22 at 2014 12:00 AM

SPC(P) Delcina Myers — Sat, 22 Mar 2014 00:00:07 -0400

I was at Ellsworth AFB for my 2 week Annual Training leaving the chow hall one day, and a SPC said to me, "Hey, where's your rank and tapes?" As I was in the process of taking them off my ACUs and putting them on my fleece, (And he seen I was doing this). I looked over his uniform, and said, "Hey Flippo (his last name) Why don't you flip your name tape!". His group of friends started cracking up as he looked dumbfounded at his uniform, then to his battles' uniform to see what I meant. He fixed it. I had a sense of pride that day on, and we became good friends after that. We were "True Blood Buddies". Lol.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 22 at 2014 12:53 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 22 Mar 2014 12:53:21 -0400

I am currently serving as the President of the Enlisted Attaché Association.  While I am not the senior military member in the Association, I am considered the senior member because of my elected position.  My wife and I were at a diplomatic dinner last week and custom dictates that no one begin eating until the the host / guest of honor / senior member has started eating.  I was engaged in conversation with a Brazilian counterpart and did not notice that EVERYONE had been served.  My wife kept trying to politely interrupt the conversation to let me know that everyone was waiting on me.  Finally succeeding, she told me and I looked around to see that I was holding up progress.  Seeing that I was slightly embarrassed by the situation my Brazilian friend says to the group "Now that everyone is served, let us pray."  Afterward I thanked him for his good recovery.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 22 at 2014 5:01 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 22 Mar 2014 17:01:05 -0400

Arriving at my first duty station (Fort Polk), I was unsure of how I was supposed to get from the airport in Alexandria to base. As we all unloaded from the plane I saw two men with 'high and tight's so I decided I'd target them to find my answer.... They were walking with about 6-8 inches between them, from the plane to the terminal. I gently squeezed myself in to the small gap between them and gave them my best cartoon smile as I asked "Gentlemen, I assume we are all headed to the same place, SO, I have one question. How the hell do we get from here to Fort Polk?!" The shorter man chuckled and said he would help me out by giving me a ride. The taller one looked like he would just as soon rip my face off. After retrieving my bags from the belt, I approached the taller guy and said "Where we headed?" His response was "Where we headed, SERGEANT MAJOR?!" My heart sank a little... he pointed me to a black SUV parked outside the door where there happened to be a Sergeant patiently waiting at Parade Rest. He filled me in on the fact that the shorter gentleman was the Fort Polk Garrison CSM and the taller was the OPs SGM for my new Unit, 4th Bde, 10th MTN. That was a very awkward and silent 40 minute ride to my first duty station.

Response by PO2 Rocky Kleeger made Mar 24 at 2014 8:51 AM

PO2 Rocky Kleeger — Mon, 24 Mar 2014 08:51:49 -0400

Humbling:  At 19 I watched someone go down the intake of an A-7 while doing carrier qualifications aboard the USS Eisenhower.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 3:34 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 03:34:37 -0400

Saluting an ancient SPC at Ft. Irwin when it was dusk, I had previously skipped saluting a LTC for thinking he was an old specialist and gotten an ear full. Oh the irony. The best part was he saluted me back as if he was already used to it!

Response by COL Vincent Stoneking made Mar 26 at 2014 10:53 AM

COL Vincent Stoneking — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 10:53:50 -0400

Most humbling.

So, there I was, a brand new Armor Platoon Leader..... (Basic branch is QM, I had been commissioned, done OBC, followed by several years in the IRR, Then joined a NG Armor unit). It was my first annual training and I was determined to do a good job, despite not really knowing what I was doing.

We were getting ready to do a deliberate attack, I came back from the company CP, gave my guys something that could be loosely called a warning order. I had been up for roughly 55-60 hours at that point. My PSG and my gunner told me to take some down time & they'd take care of the planning. They told me that they had my general intent and they would get the platoon moving and wake me in 30 minutes. I crawled on the rear deck and threw a poncho over me.

The next thing I knew was my gunner elbowing me in my left knee. Then over the intercom, "Sir, go to company net. Say "Red 1, LD, Time now."

Lessons learned:

1. You're not as indispensable as you think.

2. Good teams rock.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Mar 27 at 2014 3:49 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 15:49:31 -0400

I guess I could dig way back in the way back machine and come up with something Humorous but what I will say is not humorous and much worse Humble, Humility Moment that changed my entire outlook: While Stationed in Naval Communications Unit London, I was the Message Center Communications Watch Supervisor as such on extremely sensitive communications I would be tasked to handle them personally, A Marine Capt would bring me a message that my Guys handed him earlier, He would edit it and have me help him Sanatize it for forwarding to US Embassy Israel. What I did hit the newstand when I came back to the states and DC it was Iran-Contra. This Good Catholic Boy Helped the Administration provide Replacement Parts for US Weapons Systems in Iran and the Profits of which were used to fund Right Wing Death Squads that had no problem Raping and Killing Nuns and Priests. Yeah that will burn my soul for a very long time but I offer it as a cautionary tale. My Humble Thanks to Maj Burns for providing me a forum though.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 27 at 2014 10:02 PM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 22:02:52 -0400

Ok Here it goes during the push in 03 My job was to brief Air Force flight crews on Army troop movements and locations of the FLOT and FISL. Well the wing commander was down at the Air squadron during my brief I was explaining the days operations and what we as the army were looking for in Air support for the days missions.

Well as the map was brought up I talked about the area of operations for the day and was asked what was going on in a certain area and after being up for a couple of days my brief sounded something like this " Sir that is a battalion of Iraqi Tanks we are waiting for them to copulate (cricket , cricket) Crap Sir I meant Capitulate.

By then the room lost it and I was excused by the wing commander as he laughed me out the door. After that I was constantly asked what the porn situation was on the ground.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 29 at 2014 11:21 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 29 Mar 2014 23:21:47 -0400

Myself and some battle buddies in BCT decided we didn't want to walk to the latrines on the other side of the AA so we made a "latree" in the woods just outside the perimeter. I was using it when we came under "fire" and so I went prone with my pants at my ankles and returned fire yelling, "Battle buddy cover me while I put my pants on!" Our 1SG heard the whole thing and stormed over there to tear us a new one. I knew he wanted to laugh but was trying to be serious so I acted scared lol

Response by PO2 Rocky Kleeger made Mar 31 at 2014 11:57 PM

PO2 Rocky Kleeger — Mon, 31 Mar 2014 23:57:59 -0400

Okay...embarrassing, right? I got a boo boo while giving a safety lecture to a bunch of newbies...got two stitches for my efforts

Response by SSG Mark Ives made Apr 14 at 2014 3:12 PM

SSG Mark Ives — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 15:12:01 -0400

When I was a young E-4 in a Pershing firing battery in Germany in 1980, I was working in our NBC room at our Combat Alert Site (CAS). We had a visit by Chief of Staff of the Army, General Meyer. The General and assorted staff came around to talk with soldiers in the unit. When he came to the NBC room, he asked me what my MOS was and what my position was. Well, being it was in the post-Vietnam era and being lower enlisted, we had a nickname for our MOS (15E) as being 15 Enema's. I blurted out 15 Enema to the General and immediately embarrassingly corrected myself as 15 Echo. Some of the looks I got from my Bn staff, CSM & 1SG, I thought I'd be pulling extra duty till I PCS'ed! Later in an informal formation, the General went around asking what different MOS's were present. He asked how many 15 Enema's were present as he looked at me and smiled. That definitely got a laugh! My 1SG was more forgiving with that response!

Response by SSG Jeffrey Spencer made Apr 16 at 2014 8:51 AM

SSG Jeffrey Spencer — Wed, 16 Apr 2014 08:51:12 -0400

In basic training, I was sent to the supply room for toilet paper.  I strung the rolls on a broom handle to carry them easier. As I came out of the supply room, the Bn CO came around the corner.  I snapped a rifle salute with the stick full of toilet paper.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

Response by SSgt Brian Heineman made Sep 13 at 2016 5:46 AM

SSgt Brian Heineman — Tue, 13 Sep 2016 05:46:45 -0400

I was the supervisor on night shift in my section out having a smoke break. I see a vehicle turn into our compound, thinking it was a team returning back late from the field , I start to approach the vehicle. As I get closer I realize it is a POV, which are not allowed inside the fence and there are plenty of signs at the gates saying so. I figure it's a lazy Airman not wanting to walk all the way from the POV parking area and thinking they could get away with it in the middle of the night. The car stops, and sure enough an Airman steps out and starts walking toward me. I of course kick into SSgt mode and start giving the Airman a dressing down as I walk toward him. Something to the effect of: "Just how Fucking stupid are you? Can't you read a goddamned sign?" Just as I'm really getting into a good ass chewing and as I'm attempting to get a better look at my target in the dark, I realize the airman stripes have somehow morphed into the rank of a full bird colonel. And I see that the wearer of the rank is our Group Commander. The very person who can give the order as to who is allowed to drive within the fence. This realization comes to whilst verbalizing my confusion as to "Just how in the fuck is an illiterate shit like you allowed in my Air Force?" As the "Oh shit" hits my head, I pop to attention and give the best salute of my career "Sir!" Luckily this group commander has a sense of humor and quickly puts the pieces together of my confusion. I'm pretty sure he was squinting through the dark to make out just who the hell was chewing his ass too. He let out a huge laugh, doubled over as I stand there at attention saluting. It was all he could do to return my salute. He steps up to me, I'm expecting to no longer be an NCO by tomorrow; puts his hand on my shoulder, still chuckling and says "Thank god for Staff Sergeants." And that's was it.

Response by PFC Jim Wheeler made Sep 25 at 2016 2:16 AM

PFC Jim Wheeler — Sun, 25 Sep 2016 02:16:45 -0400

OK, so I will preface this by saying that I never got my driver's license until 6mo or so after getting to my unit (2-325 AIR 2 BCT, 82 ABN).

I was assigned to a D. Co, so we were mounted infantry. We had a free afternoon so the PSG decided we should take the trucks and practice vehicle recovery drills to kill some time. We signed all of our weapons out and mounted everything as if we were going on a real assignment.

I had not yet gone and gotten a civilian drivers license, and had not even been given the military drivers license to operate the Humvee. Still, I was a FNG so I drove one of the trucks. I had very limited experience driving at all, and even less driving the Humvees.

As we were driving we got the call that the vehicle directly behind my truck had been "hit" and was "disabled". SGT J (my TC) told me to back it up to tow that truck out of harms way, my gunner backs me up and everything is going smoothly. SGT J and our GIB hop out and connect the tow strap and jump back in quick.

He tells me to get us out of there and I come off the brakes and hit the gas hard and slam straight back into the PSG truck that we were trying to pull out. I didn't ever switch us out of reverse and into drive.

PSG was pissed. He jumped out and threw his ACH. I had one of our ITAS tripods strapped on the back of my truck, one of the legs was crushed and the headlight on his truck was smashed.

On the bright side, I always made sure I was in the right gear before coming off of the brakes after that. They also gave me my military license the next day, probably so they could hold me accountable if it ever happened again.

Response by TSgt Jim Gregg made Sep 25 at 2016 2:20 AM

TSgt Jim Gregg — Sun, 25 Sep 2016 02:20:47 -0400

I was removing an engine from a C-130 and backed the forklift I was using into the side of the airplane when placing the engine in to an engine stand. I should have had spotters, but I was in a hurry. Standing tall in front of my CO for the worst ass chewing I ever had wasn't fun either!

Response by TSgt Tommy Amparano made Apr 18 at 2017 1:53 PM

TSgt Tommy Amparano — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 13:53:14 -0400

Gawd I remember I was an A1C and had just got sent home from sick call. I am walking to my car and the sun was shinning perfectly on some Ssgt's collar chrome eblems and it was reflecting right into my eyes. Being sick I saluted him. He did not return my salute so I did it again. When I got closer to him all I could say was, "sorry I am sick".

Response by CW2 Ernest Krutzsch made Apr 18 at 2017 3:26 PM

CW2 Ernest Krutzsch — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 15:26:27 -0400

Was in Bad Kreuznach, Germany at 8th Infantry HQ. I was AUSA soldier of the year for 1976, and I was visiting the CSM (I was a SGT). I left HQ and was leaving the bldg. it was right at 1700. I walked out nd Colors began to play, I saluted, the CSM came downstairs and all the Division Officer's and Senior NCO's were in the lobby waiting for Colors to finish. He made an announcement that everyone needed to go outside and salute the colors as he was going upstairs to get the boss, the 2 Star. I never saw a group move outside faster in my life

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 18 at 2017 10:37 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 22:37:25 -0400

My first time to the sand box we were flying into Germany. I saw the sign that said welcome to Deutschland I said Deutschland I thought we were flying through Germany. I was politely informed that they were one in the same.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Apr 19 at 2017 12:28 AM

CSM Charles Hayden — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 00:28:39 -0400

1954, Korea, PFC CQ after a company party with 5 cent shots of whiskey. 1SG urged me to have more. 0800 next day, While CQ, I am upchucking a cure; tomato juice into his wastebasket.1SG Shaw laughed at me!!

Response by PO1 Jim Edwards made Apr 24 at 2017 11:28 PM

PO1 Jim Edwards — Mon, 24 Apr 2017 23:28:43 -0400

July 21st 1987....2 days before my birthday, Saturday night...we were closing Johnny B Goods in Alameda...and feeling no pain. Stumbled back to the USS Samuel Gompers at 0300 with no problems and no pain.......was woken up at 0630 to play softball on the other ships team. They needed me because their 3rd baseman was on leave. Had I known, I would have taken it a little easier the night before. Had tickets for 5 guys in my locker to go see Boston later on that night at The Cow Palace in San Fran.....
Hindsight being what it is, should have told shipmate to F-off, but being young AND dumb, got up to play. Well we are the visitors, so we bat first... I hit 3rd. First guy walks, second guy doubles....so 2nd and 3rd no out. I lash first pitch on a line into the gap between right and center fields. Center fielder gets a hell of a jump, and cuts off the ball before the wall. I round first and hard slide into second.......SNAP. See, they had put in hard post bag, and not told me. Played there the day before, with kick away bags. broke Tib/Fib in 5 places, and ankle disintegrated into a jig saw puzzle.......Needless to say, inroute to Oaknoll hospital, was dosed with Morphine.....just an ugly break, and no concert for 4 other guys...
End up in a long leg cast, up to the bottom of my junk, and sore as hell. Spent a week in and out of a morphine coma. I was released to Treasure Island Med Hold unit, and given 45 days convelesant leave. Booked a flight home to Boston for the next afternoon. Told Airline of my limitations, left leg in long leg cast, cant bend it, would need seats on starboard side, with no others in the row. They charged me for 2 seats, but what the hell, was getting out of dodge with 45 free leave days, and going home to see my new baby, who was born in March...
Awoke that morning in great pain, as the morphine had worn off, but thought nothing of it. Needed help to rise from bed, as leg was week from pain. Get dressed in shorts...don't know if you guys realize how hard it is to get dressed in a long leg cast, but it ain't easy...or pretty. anyway, I get into the cab with some difficulty, and get to Oakland Airport way ahead of schedule. purchase a book to pass the time, and wait...
1 hour before boarding time, I arrive at window to get tickets. Got the 2 tickets I purchased, but 1 was in row 8 and the other was in row 14 on the Port side... Tried to explain situation to ticket agent, but it was lost on her. Said Stewardess would straighten it out on the plane. Mercifully, that was done, with no grumbling by those affected.
Anyway, we take off, and land in Chicago, where I have to change planes, in a terminal half a mile away, and they are paging me......security throw me onto a golf cart, call the jet-way and told them situation. Get there and seats are again in diff. rows. Stew does her thing & bingo, I have a 3 seat row to rest leg upon.
Funny thing planes do is to pressurize the cabin, so people do not black out...well casts do not take to pressurization as well as you would think. My leg is now Throbbing, and Vodka is not helping the pain. we re now about 30 min out of Boston, and I need to use the head,....NOW.
Funny thing about airplane heads, but they don't take into account long leg casts...very tiny quarters, and no ability to bend leg at knee = trouble......To exacerbate that trouble, in MILMEDs infinite wisdom I was released from the hospital after a steady diet of Morphine.
Morphine is a wonderful drug, with a curious side effect an an anti diarrhetic... MILMED released me in a stupor, with out ensuring that I had a bowel movement in the time I spent in their 4 star hotel. Well when the effects of morphine wear off, and the anti diarrhetic properties have run their course, it is not pretty. Now add that to a long leg cast, 30,000 feet of altitude, and a pesky tiny, airplane head, and no way to bend knee to sit in said tiny confined space.
It was as if I had a cannon whose fuse was lit, and burned quicker than expected. KABOOM.... everywhere but in the proper receptical. Stewardess then takes matters into her own hands, by pounding on head door, informing me we are about to go into final descent, and I need to return to my seat immediately . ...There I am, with my shorts puddled around my ankles, me and the entire head covered in excrement, and getting rushed out the door by an increasingly louder Stew.
I cleaned up myself as well as I could, which wasn't very well, and returned to my seat......the look on the Stews face, was only outdone by the look of my fellow passengers...as I looked like a septic tank skin diver........
Lessons learned------- when the shit hits the fan, hope you can bend a knee to appreciate it.

Response by SPC Anna Larson made Apr 25 at 2017 10:34 AM

SPC Anna Larson — Tue, 25 Apr 2017 10:34:32 -0400

I was stationed at Ft Huachuca and was in a rush due to an emergency. I worked as a vet tech and we had a sick government horse. My Captain sent me out to get dinner because it looked like I'd be up all night with the sick horse. I'd pulled into a parking lot to leave a note on a friend's car (this was before cell phones you know).
I got out of my car, but,
A. Forgot my cover
and
B. Forgot it was retreat.
I had a choice of running back to the car to get my cover or standing retreat coverless. I choose to stand and salute, but I got noticed.

Response by SSG Gerald King made May 4 at 2017 3:27 PM

SSG Gerald King — Thu, 04 May 2017 15:27:10 -0400

When I was attached to the 2d ACR in Nurnburg, Germany, I was not only the ASA Advisor to the 2nd ACR, but also was responsible for providing Sigsec Advice and Support to all 7th Corps Non-Divisional units in the Nurnburg area. I was much like a door to door travelling salesman. One day, I contacted a local Artillery unit to offer my Advice and Assistance. The company commander wanted no part of my help! I advised him that IAW AR 530 series that he was required to get Sigsec support and if he was not interested in my help, I would file a report about his refusal and send it up the chain of command. He was pissed and agreed to let me present a class. I arranged to reserve the local theater to present the class and notified him of the date and time. I night before I was partying at the NCO club and got drunk and did not wake up the next morning until I heard a loud pounding on my barracks room door. I opened the door and there stood the Captain telling me his men were in the theater and wanted to know why I was not there also!. I quickly got dressed, ran to the theater, (fortunately I had already set up the projector for a film I was going to show). When I walked into the theater I got a loud sarcastic cheer and applause. I gave a short presentation prior to the film, showed the film and interacted with the audience afterward. When I finished, I figured I was going to catch hell from the CO of the unit and probably be reported to my Company Commander. However, the Captain was impressed with my class and thanked me and that was the end of it.

Response by MSgt Gary Cooley made Dec 4 at 2019 10:30 AM

MSgt Gary Cooley — Wed, 04 Dec 2019 10:30:20 -0500

Heading TDY on Herk to do stuff with the Seals and it involved low levels and mountain terrain, one of my crew chiefs was actually afraid of flying (not a good thing when you fly on aircraft for a living but whatever) and asked for a parachute, since the aircraft wasn't loaded heavy for the mission why not. When I asked the AC Commander he stated we were classified as cargo and did not warrant a parachute, sometimes I can't take no for an answer it has caused me some grief in my career. I said "with all due respect sir, we have parachutes you don't" to which he said you would be Court Martialed for that, to which I responded " I have to be alive to be Court Martialed and besides I will swear to God and all that will listen you said to take your parachute because you fucked up and will go down with your command" The truth is during low levels in mountain terrain the use of a parachute is mute, you will fly into a mountain long before you can actually put the parachute on, it is like a teddy bear in a car accident useless.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2019 12:31 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:31:25 -0500

While in Iraq in 2007, I had a real standup PSG that could not pass a PT test or lead from the front even if he had General Patton himself giving him direction. This guy was a true do as I say not as I do kind of guy. One glorious day, he walked into the porta shitter to drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl and then went around for almost the entire day missing a vital piece of equipment. I have never seen a guy in such a frantic distraught state like he was that day and called all the NCO's to a formation for help. Then he explained that his M9 was missing and he had no idea if someone took it or what happened to it. So me being the great guy I am, started with let's trace your steps back. Which eventually lead to the porta shitter. We shined the flashlight down the abysmal of the turd gobbler and sure enough there it was. I immediately did an about face and told him good luck Smoke, while I laughed at the thought of him digging through that shit in 140 degree heat. He was embarrassed and pissed for a quite while and did not show up to see us off on any missions for a while, which was a win for all of us. He was one man that was in a position as a leader that taught me more about what not to do as a leader then anyone that I have ever met. You can learn from shitty leaders no pun intended, that can mold you into a great leader as well.

Response by LCDR Scott Stroman made Dec 4 at 2019 3:45 PM

LCDR Scott Stroman — Wed, 04 Dec 2019 15:45:06 -0500

I was an Ensign onboard a frigate in the Gulf (remember Gonzo station?) and was standing the 0000-0400 watch as Officer of the Deck. The sky was clear, the moon was bright, and the sea was calm. I stepped out on the bridge wing with a cup of Navy coffee and must have drifted mentally for a moment. As I looked to starboard I saw four wakes, side by side, stirring up the reflective sea life and heading on an intercept course to our bow. All I could think of was "torpedoes". I was just about to order 'General Quarters' and turn the ship as hard as it would go when one of the 'torpedoes' broke water and gave itself up as a porpoise. Damn near needed a change of shorts.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2019 7:59 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 Dec 2019 19:59:28 -0500

In line for piss test 2LT in front of me is handed cup and asks if he goes right there.

No sir, go down the hall to the men’s room with the sign that says closed for UPL.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Dec 5 at 2019 6:29 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 06:29:48 -0500

Hit a patch of ice with a 2 1/2 ton fuel truck, spun 90 degrees into the back of a 5 ton.

Response by SPC Greg Campbell made Dec 5 at 2019 8:40 AM

SPC Greg Campbell — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 08:40:09 -0500

first time to the Czech border COs driver was at BNOC so I was driving the CO. 1st thing at the HALT 1k sign I stopped and almost caused a chain reaction fender bender. he giggled and old me to ignore the signs. we eake it to the border and have the usual pointing and talking ociffers did. then it was time to go, jumped in the jeep to turn it around and parallel parked the jeep in a tank trap. after getting it out and much laughing at my expense I could feel dudes in tower laughing at me as well. much to the dismay of the CO, I got out and mooned everyone behind me.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 21 at 2020 7:23 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 21 Nov 2020 19:23:34 -0500

2003, Baghdad, Iraq.

I'm a PFC 13F (fire support/forward observer) sitting on the roof OP on top of the Al Rasheed hotel. It's boring and I have a 13B (gun bunny) up there with me, and we switch on and off from "watching" what's going on in the massive area around the hotel. It's like 2 am so dark as hell. We switch off and he is taking the watch, so I grab a box of chem lights and crack one so I can read in my down time.

Crack. Shake. Nothing. WTF? Shake. Nothing. Toss it off the roof.

Grab another. Crack. Shake. Nothing. "Oh come on!"

Grab another. Proceed to wash, rinse and repeat through this entire box of stupid chem lights that don't work. I grab another box thinking surely these will work.

Crack... shake... damnit. Toss it.

About that time... the radio comes to life as one of our patrols radios up with a , "Who is the idiot tossing IR chem lights off the roof?"

Click on my NVGs, look over the side and it's a freaking party on the ground where an entire box plus of light is glowing.

Response by SPC John Leite made Nov 22 at 2020 12:11 AM

SPC John Leite — Sun, 22 Nov 2020 00:11:50 -0500

Back in the late 70's I decided that I wanted to drive a tank after active duty so I first joined the MT. ANG 163rd Armored Cav. In Billings, Mt. and then with the NV.ANG with the 221st Armored Cav. in 1980. like an idiot, I volunteered to be on an Honor Guard at a Policeman's / Fireman's football game at the Silver Bowl in Las Vegas, I hadn't done ANY marching since AIT in 1976. while I was in active duty I was in a Staff and Faculty unit working at the Radar School at Ft. Sill, so NEVER did ANY marching the whole time I was there. anyway, day of the game comes along, we had absolutely NO practice AT ALL and ended up looking like 8 idiots out there and at one point we got a "right face"... 4 of us went right, 3 of us went left, the whole stadium just exploded with laughter and then we hear no other than Bill Cosby cracking jokes at our expense to the great amusement of everyone, (not us). I had planned on staying for the game but I was too embarrassed but before we left, here comes the Marines and those guys were absolute PERFECTION out there. But hell, we were TANKERS, WTF do we know about marching? yep, forgot that cardinal rule... NEVER volunteer for anything.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Nov 22 at 2020 1:03 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 22 Nov 2020 13:03:26 -0500

Not as bad as sinking an M1 tank. Sometimes it takes two tanks to pull out one tank.

Response by MAJ Ron Peery made Nov 22 at 2020 9:56 PM

MAJ Ron Peery — Sun, 22 Nov 2020 21:56:43 -0500

1984 ASP at White Sands with 6/33 FA. We had fired the missiles and were out in the desert working on our fieldcraft. I was acting HHB Commander at the time, and the days ran long. One dark night, I decided to escape the rat race for a few minutes and went out to relax on a sand dune for a few before we started a tactical move to a new battery location. A buddy of mine joined me on the dune. Smoking his ever present pipe, he commented that it was a dark night. I agreed, but said "as soon as the moon rises we'll get a little light" and I pointed to a bright spot on the horizon. Wally chuckled quietly, and said "Ron, that's El Paso." I denied it, until the moon peeked over the horizon to my left.

Response by SFC Bill Snyder made Nov 29 at 2021 11:04 AM

SFC Bill Snyder — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 11:04:23 -0500

In Germany in 1956, our Company CO was out in the country side when he (his driver) hit a Cow drawn Honey Wagon. No one hurt but talk about a stinking mess.

Response by SSG Ralph Watkins made Nov 29 at 2021 11:04 AM

SSG Ralph Watkins — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 11:04:45 -0500

Having a 2LT get lost in the Yakima Firing Range. He was missing 24 hours. Think, huge valley, no trees, very obvious terrain features all around. Lots of road dust so any vehicle that passes withing miles can still be seen. We considered putting his picture on the side of an MRE carton. He was a West Pointer yet.