My recruiter is pressuring me to do something I’m not comfortable with, how can I go about this?

2020-01-28T21:10:30-05:00

This a bit of a long backstory but I really need some advice. My husband was in the Marines and finished his four year contract last year. We have a two year old boy and I always wanted to join the military but I didn’t believe it was possible due to finally settling in for the first time with my husband and both of us attending school. I decided to join the reserves because not only would I be able to finally join and do my part as much as I could but also go to college and receive my degree. My husband and I finally met with a navy recruiter and everything seems to go smoothly, I passed the pre asvab and we initially started the paperwork for me to go to meps. Fast forward a few weeks later I finally go to meps, I passed my medical and asvab and was waiting to choose my job and swear In that day until my recruiter mentioned that there were 0 jobs available for me and saidI have two options, I can either swear in with an active duty contract and once a reserve job opens I can switch back to reserve and that would be it. Option 2 he said that I can simply wait for a reserve job opening and it shouldn’t take long because so many people back out or new jobs open up and I shouldn’t worry about that. I decided I’d wait because I did not feel comfortable swearing in active. Fast forward two weeks later he texts me saying a heads up that reserve jobs might open Friday and I said great. A few days later he sends a message telling me I should really switch the contract temporarily to active and he and his supervisors promise me I will not leave active, I proceed to say I’m not comfortable with the idea I’d much rather wait and he starts escalating with me saying he can even talk with me and my husband if that’s the case and I simply decline over the idea and then says to me “I’m not in the business of screwing people over” and “I don’t make promises I can’t keep. Just letting you know.” It surprised me because not only did he mention he hates his recruiting duty and he can’t wait to leave to do his actual job, but he also said to my husband a few weeks before that he hates promising things to people. My recruiter then said he scheduled me for meps to do the contract and I told him I wasn’t comfortable then he replied “Alright then, my supervisor will probably give you a call because I already scheduled.” I proceed to get mad of how this even occurred and how he scheduled me in within the 10 minutes or less of speaking with him. My husband advised me to not respond to any of that or else he’s only going to push more. Supervisor then calls me but I couldn’t answer due to being in class and that was that for that day. The following day the recruiter sends another text saying “did my boss give you a call?” “Also good morning” I was baffled that he still didn’t realize the problem I was placed in and still seems like he is making me speak to his supervisor to pressure me. Is there anything I can do? I still have not responded, I don’t feel comfortable even going back to the recruiting station because they are all in this pressure I’m being placed in. Is there a way to ignore it for him to realize I haven’t fallen into this pressure? Or should I try a different recruiter? I had told him previously that I’m not picky with my reserve job either so I don’t feel like I’m causing a problem, he just wants me to switch to temporary active duty and swear in active but I don’t want to do it.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Jan 28 at 2020 9:15 PM

2020-01-28T21:15:22-05:00

I have a slightly used bridge in Brooklyn, you can have it for cheap! Interested?

Response by Maj John Bell made Jan 28 at 2020 9:24 PM

2020-01-28T21:24:13-05:00

If you don't want to go active, DO NOT sign an agreement that says you will. Do not EVER sign ANY agreement with ANYONE unless you are happy with having to fulfill your obligations as spelled out in that agreement. If they make a verbal promise, they won't object to putting it in writing if they intend to keep that promise.

Response by SPC Michael Dillon made Jan 28 at 2020 9:34 PM

2020-01-28T21:34:27-05:00

Tell them your "uncle admiral Diaz" will be contacting the recruiter.

Response by PO3 Phyllis Maynard made Jan 28 at 2020 9:37 PM

2020-01-28T21:37:12-05:00

Ella Diaz CAUTION: I have never in my life heard of such an option. Active Duty is active duty. One has to fulfill the contract tour if duty, first. Then one can go into the active or inactive reserves. That is a standard option. But if you sign a contract to go active duty for a certain number of years, you will have to fulfill the contract the way it is written. Recruiters have quotas to meet. If I were you I would call the Department of the Navy and ask questions. [login to see] and Google Department of the Navy. This recruiter is bad news. Tell them what he said. There may be such a program, but that is sketchy.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2020 9:52 PM

2020-01-28T21:52:47-05:00

Don’t sign an active contract unless you want to be active. You can try a different branch of reserves or guard.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2020 10:11 PM

2020-01-28T22:11:11-05:00

Hey So I’m currently Active Duty Army but several years ago was interested in the Navy but ended up not commuting to it, but my navy Recuirter was great compared to my army recruiter. So when I went to join the army I did my research on exactly what jobs I qualified for and what jobs I wanted, when they tried to push me into jobs and contracts I didn’t want I simply stood my ground and said, “No, I want X job with X options. And I will wait for them to open up.” In my position I had to wait 7 months to enlist but the point is simply stick to your guns and NEVER sign anything you do not explicitly want. Just tell them straight up this what I want and I’m willing to wait for it. If they say “we can’t work with you” then go to another recruit. Pro tip, military new year starts October, if you can wait till then the new jobs always open up end of September to beginning of October. Also since you are in college look into ROTC options there are ROTC options for the reserve as well and if I knew more of them I would’ve gone that route.

Response by CPL Gary Pifer made Jan 28 at 2020 10:34 PM

2020-01-28T22:34:39-05:00

Ask for a woman recruiter...

Response by SSgt John Wise made Jan 28 at 2020 10:58 PM

2020-01-28T22:58:32-05:00

As a former recruiter I have never done such a think switching one from an active contact to a reserve. I have never heard such a thing; however, it is possible to do that since ones do change their mind. Keep in mind that their are two swear in one as a poole and the other going off to boot camp. The first one is just a preliminary one and not binding, you would be discharged none will effect you until that last swear in.

I would stick to your guns and as a grad you may choose any other service you wish; however, that navy recruiter is yours if you choose to join even if you speak to a different recruiter in that office only.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2020 11:11 PM

2020-01-28T23:11:41-05:00

Block both numbers and never visit them again. Find a new recruiter. As others have mentioned, you don’t owe them a damn thing.

Response by SSgt John Wise made Jan 28 at 2020 11:16 PM

2020-01-28T23:16:49-05:00

Recruiters are now in what is called FMAM February, March, April, May these are the toughest months to be a recruiter. A female grad, an Alpha if you scored over a 50 on the asvab, and your what ever recruiter wants!! Females just don’t walk in normally and when they do it’s a god sent!! Stick to you guns and do what’s best for you guys!!

Response by PO1 Leo Scott made Jan 28 at 2020 11:58 PM

2020-01-28T23:58:04-05:00

I am not a Marine but it seems to me that if you sign in active you will be stuck..I would go to a different recruiting office

Response by 2LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 12:34 AM

2020-01-29T00:34:45-05:00

As a potential recruit you are the commodity. As soon as you sign a contract you lose all your negotiating power!
The recruiter is a used car salesman who will use ever trick in the book to get you to fill the numbers they need.
Will the Navy send you to college? And I don't mean with the GI Bill or Tuition Assistance.
If they have a similar program to the Army, you should be able to do a Simultaneous Membership Program. You enlist and go to school, you'll be an E-4 and wear cadet rank. You'll participate in your schools ROTC and attend drill as a Reservist. Once you graduate you can commission as an officer and continue your career in the Reserves, out ranking your husband, I might add!

Response by TSgt David Holman made Jan 29 at 2020 12:57 AM

2020-01-29T00:57:08-05:00

BLUF, don't sign an active duty contract if you want to go reserves. Honestly, you haven't sworn in and owe this recruiter nothing. I would cut my loses at this point and inform him that either he puts you in a reserve position, or you will terminate your contacts with him, and look elsewhere.
The nice thing about the position you are in is that you have no commitment, no obligation. You are actually bargaining from a position of strength. Don't be afraid to walk away, there are not only other recruiters, but other branches. You could even consider a guard position with either the Army or Air National Guard. This recruiter is obviously not cut out to do the job...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 1:15 AM

2020-01-29T01:15:20-05:00

That guy is trying to screw you over. Don’t buy it. Join the Army or Air Guard or the Army or Air Reserves.

He’s feeding you BS to make try and make numbers.

Response by SFC Christopher Taggart made Jan 29 at 2020 5:23 AM

2020-01-29T05:23:17-05:00

My suggestion...if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Continue to pursue the Reserves, if that's what you'd like to do. There are other recruiters available, stick to your guns. There is no such thing as Temporary Active Duty...once you get into AD, you're in for the years you contracted for. He is pressuring you, because he needs to make quota for that month...unfortunately, that's his problem, not yours.

Response by MAJ Javier Rivera made Jan 29 at 2020 6:00 AM

2020-01-29T06:00:31-05:00

Recruiters have to contract and ship those who are qualified (ASVAB and medical) right away, hence then his continuous approach. Got it, he has a mission to accomplish. Nevertheless, your are 100% in charge of the process! You are not happy, comfortable, insecure? Then stop and review the process. Do not sign anything you are not comfortable with. I’m not sure how it works in the Navy but in the Army, if the prospect is fully qualified, the recruiter can make a phone call and potentially get the job the prospect wants. Not always, but it happens.

Response by GySgt Kenneth Pepper made Jan 29 at 2020 8:55 AM

2020-01-29T08:55:44-05:00

Having served 3 years as a recruiter I can tell you that they are under tremendous pressure to make their contracting and shipping numbers. What I believe is happening is that the station will get more "points" for contracting an active contract than they would a reserve contract.
Simply ask him to put it in writing that he will change your contract to reserves prior to shipping.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 9:04 AM

2020-01-29T09:04:53-05:00

I didn't read your whole post, I stopped after the second time he told you to switch to Active when you clearly stated you wanted to go reserve.

I would find a new recruiter, maybe even a new branch of service.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 9:55 AM

2020-01-29T09:55:43-05:00

Simple answer....If it's something you don't want to do, then don't do it. If the Recruiter keeps pressuring you, then either seek out a new Recruiter from a different station or report this Recruiter to their Station Commander for harassment.

Response by SGT Aaron Tollman made Jan 29 at 2020 9:57 AM

2020-01-29T09:57:35-05:00

Do not take an active duty contact if you want to be in the reserves. It is VERY difficult to get an active duty contract nullified. Your unit would likely fight any attempt to transfer to the reserves before a contract is up. I suggest joining a different service.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 10:01 AM

2020-01-29T10:01:22-05:00

There’s some f*ckery at play here. Find a new recruiter or consider other reserve options. I have a hard time believing that this guy has your best interests at heart.

Response by SGT Chris Stephens made Jan 29 at 2020 10:11 AM

2020-01-29T10:11:16-05:00

He is trying to meet his quota and knows you are close. I would refuse to work with that recruiter any more. Tell this to the supervisor and if he wants to keep pressing the issue, then be done with both of them and move on. If the recruiter can't get what he's saying put in a contract, then all he's doing is blowing smoke.

Response by LT Brad McInnis made Jan 29 at 2020 10:36 AM

2020-01-29T10:36:31-05:00

Very simple... if you are uncomfortable, don't sign. Run, don't walk to another recruiter. Sounds like this one is trying to fill his quota. Please know that this is not how the military normally works. Unfortunately, some, not all, recruiters are not much different than used car salesmen.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 11:37 AM

2020-01-29T11:37:43-05:00

Dont sign anything you're uncomfortable with, it sounds bad but promises made by recruiters are generally as worthless as anything could possibly get. If what you want isn't in writing, don't sign. Period.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 1:53 PM

2020-01-29T13:53:05-05:00

Fire this joker and find a new recruiter. He is not worried about your career or your needs. He is trying to fill his quota.

You right now are in the position of power. You aren’t requiring a drug or felony waiver. You have good scores. You can pass a physical. You are female. You are checking a lot of boxes for this recruiter and I’m sure an active duty recruit gets him more than a reserves recruit. Walk away. Get another recruiter and ask all your information to be transferred to the new recruiter. The new recruiter will be thrilled all the hard work is over. He would just need to get you through MEPS and your job selected to get you going.

I fired a couple recruiters when going reserves. I had a good one and kept working with him (lots of ups and downs. Some his fault, some mine, and some the army) and commissioned after almost 3 years. I remember right before I was going to MEPS the last time another recruiter called me saying “hey sir we got a call you were interested in joining the medical program for the army reserves” and he was trying to steal my recruiter’s recruit after all the work had been done.

Recruiting has to be one of the hardest jobs in the military in this day and age!

Response by PFC Russell W made Jan 29 at 2020 2:36 PM

2020-01-29T14:36:42-05:00

The Recruiter telling you that you can switch from Active to Reserve like it's not a big deal is lieing.

Response by SPC Michael Dillon made Jan 29 at 2020 2:57 PM

2020-01-29T14:57:36-05:00

Let's see if this recruiter is on rallypoint. So that we can all ask him some questions

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 4:38 PM

2020-01-29T16:38:32-05:00

Tell the recruiter that your retired 4 star admiral named uncle William McRaven will be giving him and his supervisor a call. Tell them make sure to pick up the phone. Like everyone else said, don't sign active duty contract. Once you in, there is no turning back........

Response by SrA Daniel Hunter made Jan 29 at 2020 5:27 PM

2020-01-29T17:27:59-05:00

Call or write your Senator. Preferable one on the Armed Services Committee if one is.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2020 8:17 PM

2020-01-29T20:17:29-05:00

Go to a different station, he is try to meet his quota.

Response by 1st Lt Padre Dave Poedel made Jan 29 at 2020 9:54 PM

2020-01-29T21:54:13-05:00

Have you gone to your local Navy Reserve station and spoken to a Reserve recruiter? Sounds like you spoke to an active duty recruiter and all he gets points for is active duty accessions. Try your local Navy & Marine Corps Reserve Center.

Response by SFC Howard Holmes made Jan 30 at 2020 1:26 AM

2020-01-30T01:26:49-05:00

Two things, if it's not in writing it didn't happen. Second thing, when you leave for Active Duty you are assigned a report date, which you report to MEPS at approximately 0500. You'll go through a final physical check, and ensure you haven't had any legal actions pop up since you first signed up, then you go in to the swearing-in room and you get sworn in to active duty the day you are to leave for Boot Camp. You ARE NOT on active duty until you do that second swearing in. The Reserves are broken, and that doesn't matter what branch, the only exception is the Coast Guard. My strongest recommendation is to get out of that and look in to the Air National Guard, it is one of the best kept secrets in the entire military realm, but rank is extremely difficult to obtain. I can give you many reasons why this is my pick, but too you'd fall asleep before you finished reading it.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 30 at 2020 4:25 AM

2020-01-30T04:25:59-05:00

Once you sign an active contract you are active. He probably means you cane switch to reserve after your active contract ends.

Response by LtCol Robert Quinter made Jan 30 at 2020 7:50 AM

2020-01-30T07:50:21-05:00

With all due respect, recruiters are salesmen looking to fill a quota and, unfortunately, some bend the truth to fill that quota. This is the last time you are fully in control of your status with the Navy. You owe the recruiter nothing but honesty. Don't sign anything until the contract says exactly what you want it to say. Verbal assurances mean nothing. Once you sign, you, and the Navy, are legally obligated to fulfill the terms of the contract...make the recruiter explain anything you don't understand and if you aren't comfortable ask to see their superiors.
I just went through the enlisting process with my grandson, and what the recruiters finally put in front of him was not what I asked for or he wanted. First I put on my old Colonel's demeanor and brought back memories of what I once was with the supervisor that was behind the recruiter, then spent an extensive amount of time with my grandson explaining his future to him, according to the contract, before I let him sign.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 30 at 2020 10:03 AM

2020-01-30T10:03:57-05:00

Last time I checked there were recruiters who specialized in guard/reserve enlistments. Many guard/reserve units have a recruiter on site in the armory/reserve center. Do some research and find one of those in your area. I find it hard, no impossible, to believe that there are no openings in the reserves. especially in light of the fact that you don't really care what specialty you go into. This guy is feeding you a line of BS. He probably gets more brownie points for an active recruit than for a guard/reserve recruit. RUN FORREST RUN!!!!

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Jan 30 at 2020 10:27 AM

2020-01-30T10:27:33-05:00

Don’t go active if you don’t want to! If you haven’t signed a contract with the Navy then you have several options:
-forget the whole thing and tell these jerks to pound sand
-talk to recruiters from other services
-talk to Army and Air Force National Guard recruiters
Remember when talking to any recruiter:
-they are sales people working on a quota
-nothing they say is worth anything unless it’s also in writing

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 30 at 2020 5:01 PM

2020-01-30T17:01:23-05:00

Let me tell you about my recruiting process which I am still pissed about. I did extremely well on the ASVAB. I went to the recruiting office, and they told me the only available jobs were infantry and armor. I called their bluff and said bullshit. My E-6 recruiter passed me on to an E-7 for more pressure to enlist. The E-8 upon hearing my concerns basically called me a jackass for not enlisting. They gave me a list of like 25 available MOSs and wanted me to make a decision in minutes. I said I will have to sleep on it. Finally the CPT talked to me, and he asked me to return to the recruiting office. All of them were effing liars which really pissed me off to include how some recruits will get rail roaded by them. They were like used car salesmen trying to sell me a car I did not want or need. Don't cave in and make a rash decision just because your recruiter is a jackass. Put your foot down. When I go to buy cars, I don't let the salesman to get the upper hand by wearing me out with games. I tell them this is my offer, and if you can not give it to me, I ill go elsewhere. Stick to your guns as you are making a momentous decision. Keep us abreast of the recruitment process.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2020 10:50 AM

2020-02-04T10:50:35-05:00

Sounds like this guy's jerking you around. I'd tell him that you're no longer interested. Then don't reply to him when he keeps trying to contact you, because he probably will.

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2020 4:51 PM

2020-02-04T16:51:28-05:00

Do not believe him - It is not that easy to go from Active to Reserve - you have to have a reason and a recruiter's word is not it. If you sign a contract for x years of AD Navy - you are obligated to that until they either release you on their terms or you finish out the contract. I served in the Navy - AD and then after a 10 year break went into the Army Guard - it wasn't a good fit and I started to look for a slot in the legal field since I had my paralegal degree and I was working as a paralegal. There were not any in my state, so I started look at the Air Force Reserve or Guard - I found a slot in the Air Guard and it took 6 months for my paperwork to process for the Army to release me and the Air to pick me up.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 26 at 2020 9:03 PM

2020-04-26T21:03:54-04:00

I agree with the LTC. Find yourself a new recruiter. But with that being said a contract doesn't guarantee anything. The military has ways around that. They will do with you as they see fit so you better be prepared to be activated and if it doesn't happen than fine but with our current situation there is a good chance. Just listen to your gut and you'll be fine.