Posted on Mar 16, 2023
How can I determine if my sister-in-law is getting ready to marry someone claiming he was in the 82nd, but we don't think he served?
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I have offered 3 times to help get his VA paperwork started and he has not answered me once. He was just in a serious motorcycle accident requiring surgery on his leg. Being unemployed, he does not have health insurance and his fiance will be stuck with the bill. Needless to say, she is pissed. As a veteran, I won't be to happy if I find out he didn't serve and claimed he did. If he has a dishonorable discharge, I just wish he would say that instead of ignoring everyone's questions. Other than a Freedom of Information Act request, is there another route we can take to find out if he served and his discharge status?
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Stolen Valor
Stolen Valor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 8
Yea, you could ask what unit/Battalion/Brigade he served with in the 82nd. You could research info about the 82nd and ask questions that is known to all 82nd personnel. Or...you could just straight up ask him if he's bullshitting. As for the bill, how would your SIL be stuck with the bill? They ain't married so it would be on him. Not her. If he isn't answering about VA stuff, then it's clear as day that either he didn't serve or got in trouble and lost VA benefits.
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No a FOIA request is the only way to find out and you only get so much info since you're not family or spouse. If he's not going to answer you, that's the only outlet to get any info.
A fiance wouldn't be stuck with any bills...if she chooses to pay them that's on her. But no one can make her pay them.
There could be a million reasons why he doesn't want to tell you about his service - and one reason could be he didn't serve.
Ultimately if this really bothers your SIL, she needs to confront him to tell her the truth and if he won't, she needs to leave him because if he can't be honest with her, what's the point of getting married? But the only person he owes an answer to is her, not you. Not anyone else.
A fiance wouldn't be stuck with any bills...if she chooses to pay them that's on her. But no one can make her pay them.
There could be a million reasons why he doesn't want to tell you about his service - and one reason could be he didn't serve.
Ultimately if this really bothers your SIL, she needs to confront him to tell her the truth and if he won't, she needs to leave him because if he can't be honest with her, what's the point of getting married? But the only person he owes an answer to is her, not you. Not anyone else.
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HN Jeffrey Cohan
She is the one asking for clarification. She asked if I could assist. Guess she figured ALL of us as veterans have access to information about this stuff. I told her I will find out what I can, but no promises.
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Number one why g the e hell would she marry someone who has no job and no prospect of one. There is nothing wrong with someone not wishing to discuss here service, there is something suspicious about one who won’t even say with whom they served.
I would say that your daughter in-law is a big girl, and it would likely not change he thoughts about him, either way, I don’t see it as your lane.
You being the catalyst for learning information she possibly does not want to here, may become the family bad guy.
Just a thought
I would say that your daughter in-law is a big girl, and it would likely not change he thoughts about him, either way, I don’t see it as your lane.
You being the catalyst for learning information she possibly does not want to here, may become the family bad guy.
Just a thought
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HN Jeffrey Cohan
Like I said before, I was asked by her to find out. Stay in my lane? I'm a veteran also and if this guy is going to join our family and not be truthful about his service, and I really did serve (he has seen my DD-214) do you think that would make me happy?
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CSM Darieus ZaGara
HN Jeffrey Cohan Not at all. I get it my point about lanes is with Family it never works out well. As for a dd214 I have never asked nor heard of asking for documents save for official reasons. There has to be some indication of what year he claims to have served. I just google two privates who serve in my units and got as a normal E4 and the both popped up with the name and unit they served in. It may not be that easy for you, it can’t hurt to try.
Anyway I was not trying to insult you, I have just seen the Family thing burn to many people. Good luck.
Anyway I was not trying to insult you, I have just seen the Family thing burn to many people. Good luck.
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