My wife wants to go medical in the Air Force. I want to go Army Aviation warrant. What should I do?

Gary Henson — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 02:11:52 -0500

First off, I appreciate everyone's support on rally point, you are literally effecting our entire future.
My wife tells me Avaition warrant officers work 12-14 hour days. We have a child and she's concerned about raising her, as am I. EVERYONE says to go AF because qual of life, but I wanna be a pilot. We both have great ASVAB scores. Im afraid to make her life hell when she could've gone AF.

Response by Gary Henson made Jan 26 at 2018 2:18 AM

Gary Henson — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 02:18:06 -0500

I'm 26 and she's 23. I have full confidence in our capabilities but I'm afraid I'm too old to be one a pilot in the AirForce, that's why the army appeals to me. I have a degree and she's about to finish hers. I will accept nothing less than warrant or officer for her and I. I 100% want this to be our career for life. I am willing to get a masters or even Ph.D. to get to where I want to be. I don't want her to be miserable because she could've gone Air Force but I wanted to be a pilot. Could the army really be that bad....

Response by Gary Henson made Jan 26 at 2018 2:22 AM

Gary Henson — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 02:22:11 -0500

Also I'm afraid to get stuck as an enlisted in the Air Force. Not because of my AFOQT score, but because of my age. When I last spoke to an officer recruiter about 3 years ago when Obama was in office, she said "if you're not a doctor or a lawyer we don't need you right now." That worries me

Response by MAJ Byron Oyler made Jan 26 at 2018 5:20 AM

MAJ Byron Oyler — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 05:20:14 -0500

I have worn both uniforms and what is important to choosing a branch is what you want to do and the lifestyle doing it. I wanted to be an ICU nurse and the best place is the Army. I am a private pilot and if you do not think the Air Force will commission you and let you fly, go Army helos. Letting the Army pay you to learn helicopters and get you hours plus ratings compares to nothing the Air Force can offer either of you. Should you ever get out, you will have enough hours to fly just about anything you want. What does she want to do Air Force medical? All branches have the PA program that takes many enlisted through to their PA. She could work towards that while you fly in the same branch. You would be at FT Rucker and her in San Antonio and once schooling is complete, get back together. Any job you do could have you working those hours, I have put in 48hrs in the last week yet have a good deal off the next. If you were a civilian airline pilot, you may not put in 12-14hours but be on a different side of the world than your family. Better to have long days and live in the same house than short days many miles away.

Response by CPT Nicholas D. made Jan 26 at 2018 6:31 AM

CPT Nicholas D. — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 06:31:27 -0500

If you guys are both planning to join the Active Components, be prepared for very long time periods apart. Most of the Active Duty dual military couples I know usually count that time apart in years. There are programs that will “try” to keep you guys co-located, but there is no guarantee. Maybe if one chooses Active Component, the other should consider a reserve component (USAR, ARNG, USAF RES, or ANG) This way if one gets a permanent change of station (PCS), the other can just find a nearby unit to transfer to.

As an Army Aviator, there will be days you work 12-14 hours. That isn’t the standard Duty Day though. Serving as an Army Aviator is amazing, but it does take a lot of effort. Sometimes it is harder to crack the books open and knock off some rust when you are home than it is being away. Your family wants your attention since you are home, but you are trying to focus on studying (you will have to study your whole career).

Quality of life is relative. I am Active Duty in the NG (AGR) and were days that I dreamt of greener pastures... and then I spent a few deployments with Regular Army units and I came to appreciate my blessings. I am not insulting the Active Component, but I think the NG does a little better with work-life balance. Full-time positions are out there, and AGR or Dual Status Fed Technicians get paid about the same doing the same jobs as the Active Component folks. Just food for thought.

Last thought: Do what you love and love what you do. If either of you choose to do a job that you aren’t in love with, it is very likely you won’t see retirement. #1 reason people don’t serve beyond their first contract is they don’t like their job. Good luck!

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2018 11:04 AM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:04:35 -0500

Gary Henson As mentioned by CPT Nicholas D., it might be best if one of you is on active duty, and the other in the reserves. There are no guarantees in the service, so expect long separations. Raising a child under these circumstances will be difficult and test your marriage.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2018 11:44 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:44:49 -0500

Go with her, don't they have warrant in the Air Force ?

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Jan 26 at 2018 11:25 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Fri, 26 Jan 2018 23:25:50 -0500

Gary Henson if you are counting hours already, consider another career. Some days you have a normal garrison day...PT ar 0630-0800. Personal hygiene, then work call at 0900. Leave the shop at 1730/1800. as a Aviation Warrant, you will have flight hours, some of those are at night, or whenever the mission calls. Weekends. If you are medevac, there is usually a duty rotation, first, second, and third up to answer medevac calls and mutual aid requests. Then there are CTC rotations, field time, and deployments.

If you are Medical in any branch, the hospital don't fly itself overnight, on weekends, and holidays. Junior nurses and others work the suck shifts. Then there are on call things that intrude. Depending on unit type there is field time and deployments...google PROFIS.

No part of the Armed Forces is 9-5. It's not a death sentence. Tons of dual couples make it work everyday. Being dual military in two different branches will mean separation and geographical bachelorhood...two households. There is a married couples program in the Army for Soldiers. There is not a joint version. It's not a guarantee, just a consideration. As you advance, your wife and you will have to decide between together and key/developmental jobs for promotion. Again, people make it work.

What "Medical" is your wife looking at? Army has got it. More potential for you guys in a bigger branch with more slots and units. If flying is your thing, coming in as a Warrant and staying Warrant keeps you in the air.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2018 11:53 AM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 11:53:27 -0500

First off, it's the Army, almost everyone is doing 12-14 hour days. 2. Pilots have mandatory time off, can't be nodding off in a multi-million dollar helicopter (fly boys back me up? or correct me). 3 I'd discuss it very well with the wife. If family life isn't happy, work life will be horrible. there are plenty of AF flight positions, and plenty of Army medical positions, hell theres a slim chance you could be the pilot while she's the medic in the back of the HH-60 (MOS 68J and 68W W1)
There are options out there that aren't so bad on quality of life in the army. Especially if she gets the W1 identifier, I've never seen a W1 that's not happy with their life, its too fun, and theyre doing real life medic stuff like surgery.

Response by Gary Henson made Jan 27 at 2018 11:56 AM

Gary Henson — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 11:56:47 -0500

harder to stay in as an officer in either branch? I think this is the most important question of all for me.

Response by Gary Henson made Jan 27 at 2018 11:59 AM

Gary Henson — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 11:59:13 -0500

I'm afraid of not making rank and getting kicked it. Is it harder to stay in as an officer in either branch (AF or Army)? I think this is one of the most important question of all for me.

Response by SPC Eric Davis made Jan 27 at 2018 5:36 PM

SPC Eric Davis — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 17:36:54 -0500

How about you go to the Army active duty first and get settled in then tell her to join the Air Force reserve. That way you already in your field and then she can get in her field and if you get stationed somewhere else then it would be easier for her to transition to another unit!

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Jan 27 at 2018 11:58 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 23:58:23 -0500

Gary Henson something else to consider. Let me preface this with the following: the only way to go after what you want is go all in, prepare, and do it. 100% of plans not attempted, fail. You must be realistic, though. Figure out what your plan B looks like and make sure you can live with it.

My plan since I was about 12, was to earn an engineering degree, earn a commission through Army ROTC, become an Engineer Officer, do my LT time as a Combat Engineer Platoon Leader, try out for SFAS as a senior LT, go to the SF Q Course, live the life of guts and danger as a Special Operator.

Plan B....So here is how it went down: I received a 3-Year Science and Engineering ROTC scholarship where I was obligated to pursue engineering, in my case Civil Engineering (check). I finished by the skin of my teeth and was commissioned (check). Except this is where it goes off the rails. I was branched Ordnance when the accessions horse trading was done (likely due to my GPA), despite the Civil Engineering degree they paid for. I was put on active duty at the National Training Center in the 11th Armored Cavalry. Ok not a disaster yet, you can do SFAS and selection as any branch. I grew where I was planted and did the best I could, I actually was fairly good at logistics. At my advanced course while training for SFAS, I got hurt. Long term hurt. I ended up commanding my first Company in Korea nursing a torn calf. By the time I got my collective crap together again my SFAS window closed. Was it over?

No. After some Captain years malaise, I was professionally published. I served as a BN S3. I went on to Command another company. Deployed with them in Iraq in 2003. Went to fully funded graduate school. Went to the Naval War College, in 33 months I went from a shaky bachelor's degree to two Masters degrees. Served in the 101st in Afghanistan (Currahee) with some of the best people I will ever know. Did a tour in NATO in Germany. Had a front row seat to history as a current ops guy in ISAF right after GEN McChrystal departed and GEN Petraeus came in. Commanded a US Army Garrison for an Arsenal as a Lieutenant Colonel...including Super Storm Sandy and the first round of Sequestration. Served as. Deputy Brigade Commander for the same Commander I was a BN XO for. Then I retired. I have a great family. Married a great woman. Had two beautiful daughters.

Regrets: a few. Not many though. I regret not retaking the Engineer in Training Exam in 1994, which I missed by one point in 1993. It's causing me hassle right now in my second career getting my PE license. I regret not getting Air Assault qualified while I was at Campbell (got hurt again). If I had done that, I could have also done Pathfinder on a rank waiver. Which would have let me declare a DZ anywhere I wanted. Comes in handy as a logistician. I regret not seeing more in Europe. Other than that, I did my best and left it all on the field.

Response by CW2 Robert Wylie made Jan 28 at 2018 3:22 AM

CW2 Robert Wylie — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 03:22:46 -0500

Army has medical also.

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made Jan 28 at 2018 5:37 AM

PVT Raymond Lopez — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 05:37:02 -0500

GO ARMY AVIATION!!!!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2018 9:44 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 09:44:54 -0500

Speaking as dual-military person with a minor child-- If you don't have an available and supportive extended family-- don't both join (at least not active duty).

Hubby and I met when we each had 10+ years of service under our belts, so didn't have to negotiate something 'new' (the military) around our marriage... The marriage was the 'new' thing. Before we had a child, we had the discussion with both sets of our parents ensuring they were all-in for providing support when we would need it. There have been times where the folks would need to take him for up to a couple of weeks because neither of us was available. We'd be in a hurt-locker without them, but we wouldn't have chosen to have children while both AD if we hadn't set up the support network in advance.

That said, there are going to be days when the child is sick and cannot go to daycare. As an O-4, it is relatively easy to call in to work and tell them I'm not coming in because my child is sick. I imagine that would be a little (okay, a lot) more difficult for a junior enlisted person to pull that off. Same with doctor visits, appointments, getting that call from daycare that the child is misbehaving so you need to come pick him up early. The lower ranks have a lot less flexibility than us crusty old 18-20 year career O4's.

Like most dual-mil couples, our time stationed apart is measured in years. Our first 6 years together we were batting 50% (half of that time after the child was born)-- and we are same rank, same branch of service, same specialty, same sub-specialty, asking to be co-located in Norfolk (which is the biggest Navy concentration area in the world). The military usually does a better job of co-locating enlisted than officers, but all bets are off when you go different service branches.

Bottom line-- if you don't have parents/siblings/etc. that are 1. willing and 2. trustworthy to de-facto inherit your child for indeterminate periods of time without complaint or pushback often on relatively short notice, I would NOT recommend both joining the military.

Response by SPC Steven Depuy made Feb 9 at 2018 12:39 PM

SPC Steven Depuy — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 12:39:50 -0500

My father told me to not join the army, I did not listen. I got fried rabbit and chicken, my friend in the air force ate a little better. I told my son to not join the Army, he did not listen. He ate a lot of MRE's, the Air Force ate slightly better. The issue here is if your marriage is important to you or not. it it is, do what she wants. I have been married for 31 years. You stay married by understand "do what you want", and "I don't care", don't really mean that. If you want to stay married, go Air Force.

Response by 2LT Ronald Reimer made Feb 13 at 2018 5:41 PM

2LT Ronald Reimer — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 17:41:09 -0500

Raising a family with 2 AD parents is asking for more heartache, heartbreak and trouble than I would be willing to endure. First of all, let me wish you all the best in whatever the two of you decide to do. With your best intentions in mind, I would suggest that you look at some statistics about marriages and their success rates with couples who are; 1: both AD, and 2: in different branches. Everyone always thinks that it “will never happen to them”, but statistics don’t lie. Marriages change over time, just as individuals do. Goals change, circumstances change. Having a third party dictate other obstacles such as time away, distance, the inherent stress of a military profession all will add to this. Is it possible to pursue your dreams at different times, (maybe you join now and do the pilot thing, then when you get out, she could pursue the military medical thing?). If it is an option, she could pursue education and career opportunities as a civilian, while using your military benefits. (I only suggest that you go in first b/c of the age restrictions on pilots, not because you are daddy and she is mommy). I think that the Air Force would be a wonderful option, and, I hear rumors that they have pilots, too, but don’t take my word for it, it could all be vicious lies! Best of luck.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 14 at 2018 4:39 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 14 Feb 2018 16:39:21 -0500

I love the Army but my friends in the Air Force seem to have it better than my Army Aviation friends. You need to try and be in the same force or it will put tremendous strain on your relationship. Army has almost twice as long combat tours, often less desirable duty stations, is a little less organized and within my experiences and peer group much longer hours of work. Any branch needs medical people but Airforce and Navy seem to have a better pipeline.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 14 at 2018 11:39 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 14 Feb 2018 23:39:30 -0500

Your asking how a watch works.....

Just stick to asking what time is it.

MSG Bo

Response by Sgt Josh Earsley made Feb 19 at 2018 11:23 AM

Sgt Josh Earsley — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 11:23:36 -0500

If you guys enlist in different branches, you'll rarely hang out. Maybe doing a reserve thing would limit this but there will still be long deployment periods between direct contact. Rarely do relationships like this, work out. Especially if you guys are young. Good luck though. Hope things do work out for you guys.

Response by SSG Quince Kreb made Mar 4 at 2018 8:49 PM

SSG Quince Kreb — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 20:49:56 -0500

Army Aviation is a great career field, as I was in it for nearly 23 of my 24+ years in. I was Enlisted mechanic, crew chief and door, along with spending many years in Medical Evacuation.

The Warrant Officer Pilots are a great and interesting group, as they aren't Enlisted but also not Commissioned Officers. Many of my mechanic and crew chief buddies went to Flight School and enjoyed themselves, even for Desert Shield and Storm, Somalia, Iraqi Freedom and many other places around the world. This also can set them up to fly civilian helicopters when they get out or retire, maybe even fly fixed wing planes and airline jets.

Go for your dream... as your wife can be regular medical or even a Flight Medic in Army Aviation! Army Aviation has a good quality of life at home and for deployments... almost Air Force! Lol

Response by Maj John Bell made Mar 4 at 2018 11:17 PM

Maj John Bell — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:17:02 -0500

Once you made the decision to have a child, what you want is second to the needs of that child.

The first thing the child needs is to be in a home where you and your wife can reach a reasonable compromise; and live with that compromise without resentment.

The two of you need to see if you can both meet career goals, and be where you need to be; with your child as much as possible.

_That may be in the military. It may not.
_It may be doing exactly what you both want, the way you want. It may not
_It may mean you may have to flex a bit. She goes medical in the Army or you try to fly in the Air Force.

When you hit my age, you don't think that much of your career choices. You will always wonder what more you could have done for your kids.

My wife had a phenomenal career offer back when she was my fiancé. Looking back, just on the stock options alone, we could have retired in the upper 10% of incomes by the time we we're 40-45. But once we had kids, I would have had to be a house husband (which I was fine with) or we would have had our kids raised by a nanny (which neither of us would accept). And we would have seen very little of ach other until my commitment was over. I was already six months into an unbreakable five year commitment with The Marines. We didn't have kids and we didn't have any on the way. Our decision was to marry, she turned down the offer and we didn't have kids until I hit my first non-fleet Marine Force tour. It was a choice we've never regretted.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2018 11:32 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Mar 2018 23:32:00 -0500

Since you already have a kid why not try going reserves or guard first? Take turns going.

Response by Sara Lucas made Mar 5 at 2018 11:23 AM

Sara Lucas — Mon, 05 Mar 2018 11:23:30 -0500

Is it mandatory that your wife be in the military . can she be a civilian nurse and work around your duty station and time factor. I was a marine wife and nurse for 10 years and it was easier for me to adjust my schedule.. especially when there is a child involved who really doesn't have a vote in the process. good luck with whatever path you take..

Response by Sara Lucas made Mar 5 at 2018 11:28 AM

Sara Lucas — Mon, 05 Mar 2018 11:28:13 -0500

I don't know if I am qualified to butt in here but here I go. I was a marine wife and nurse for 10 years... it was easier for me to adjust my work life around my husbands. It gave me the flexibility to schedule my hours and know when I needed to be more specific about days or weeks to be home or off. I admire your wife for her determination to be what she wants to be... but with a child in the mix... who doesn't have a vote... its difficult and unfortunately I todays society the responsibility falls and the wife and mother to adjust... my husband was a marine pilot and his schedule was not his to control.... I hope things work for you.... good luck

Response by Maj Marty Hogan made Mar 7 at 2018 7:19 AM

Maj Marty Hogan — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 07:19:20 -0500

Just going to point out the obvious- the AF has weapon systems called planes. Several different types in fact. Not sure why you wouldn't have an opportunity there? The quality of life is a great incentive, but if there is a particular air frame you want. With the current pilot shortage if you have done the work to get there you should have zero problem. Good luck Gary Henson

Also from experience- being married to another member is not always easy. Mission comes first and long periods away from each other create some unique problems. CPT Nicholas D. nailed a few. The Guard and Reserves are great choices, but there are not always available slots etc.

Response by LTC Jeff Shearer made Mar 7 at 2018 7:42 AM

LTC Jeff Shearer — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 07:42:14 -0500

Gary I am not going to say its not doable but yall are not stacking the deck in your favor. Just know two different services are not imposssible but could be a little more difficult. Also know these are life choices, career choices yall are a team you need to discuss together. Make a list of positives and negatives, i.e. possible duty stations for MOS's, training locations, I guarantee they will not be close, Army pilots start out in AL I am guessing AF medical starts in TX, maybe? Lots of possibilities. Lots of work on yalls part, good luck.

Response by LTC Thomas Tennant made Mar 7 at 2018 9:05 AM

LTC Thomas Tennant — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 09:05:48 -0500

There's an old saying, if mama ain't happy nobody's happy. Sometimes we men have to let our wives get their way. We could be rational logical and have all the facts but sometimes a woman's intuition beats us out. Take a piece of paper draw a line down the center put all the pros and cons for going Air Force. Next take another piece of paper and do the same. Finally take a third piece of paper and combine the previous two. That can be a good starting point for a long discussion. Good luck.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Mar 7 at 2018 11:45 AM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 11:45:48 -0500

There isn't quite enough information in your original question to give a complete answer. I can provide some insights from the POV of an Air Force pilot. Also, my wife and oldest daughter are nurses.

If you just want to fly and never be a senior leader, then the Army Warrant Officer program may be the way to go. The Air Force still requires pilots to be commissioned officers who have both flying jobs and pursue a career leading to senior leadership positions. Few Air Force pilots get to just fly for a 20 year career. They will be required to serve in staff jobs at some point and maybe transfer out of flying into support jobs (maintenance, engineering, transportation, contracting, finance, etc.) to gain rank and prove their potential for senior leadership positions. Being an Air Force officer requires a bachelors degree. I believe being a warrant officer requires only a high school diploma.

Work hours for pilots are extremely variable. When you are flying, you may put in 12 to 18 hour days. When you aren't on the flying schedule you may put in much less--especially as a warrant officer. Air Force pilots fill almost all the support jobs in the flying squadron such as training officer, scheduling officer, combined federal campaign officer, commander's change of command ceremony OIC, etc. These jobs develop the officer's leadership and management skills according to the Air Force. In reality most of them could be done by a well trained E-4. They are part of what makes being an Air Force pilot suck at times. I'm not sure how Army Warrant Officers are treated in this respect. Hopefully better.

Now let's look at nurses. My daughter is a Navy Reserve Nurse (O-4). When she is on her two-week active duty, she works in Navy or Marine clinics for 8 or so hours per day because she's a nurse practitioner. Once she went on a 6 week cruise aboard a Merchant Marine training vessel. She was the senior medical officer on board and worked as many hours as needed to support the Captain and crew of 400. Air Force and Navy active duty nurses can be "floor" nurses, OR nurses, public health nurses, etc., pretty much like a civilian hospital. As such, they may do shift work. In more senior grades (O-3 and above) they have management responsibilities and may be the Charge Nurse for a floor or the whole medical facility. Their days may stretch to over 14 hours.

Assignments and deployability also are a consideration. Nurse and pilot, preferably in the same Service, make a good paring for joint spouse assignments. Major military installations often have both hospitals and flight operations. If not at the same base, then usually on nearby bases. This makes it easier for the Service to do you both the great favor of assigning you together. Both pilots and nurses can and will be deployed overseas. This is usually done without regard to spousal responsibilities.

Response by PO1 Kathleen Matthews made Apr 3 at 2018 10:45 AM

PO1 Kathleen Matthews — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 10:45:07 -0400

Suggestions: Sit down (both of you) with your respective detailers and ask questions. Ask questions from both of your views. Talk with people currently serving in both branches (again sit down together) and ask the nitty gritty homelife and work schedule questions. You might find your answer once you speak with people actually living the life in both branches. Otherwise, I wise you both the best in your careers and life.

Response by SPC David Willis made Apr 3 at 2018 4:42 PM

SPC David Willis — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 16:42:30 -0400

If you're both going in I would strongly suggest entering the same branch and component. If your child is your main concern (rightfully so) you should do everything in yalls power to be stationed together. Other options would be NG or reserve for one of you while the other is AD. As far as the job goes though do whatever YOU want to do within the branch you decide on. If you hate your job 4 years is a very, very long time.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 3 at 2018 5:53 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 17:53:43 -0400

Have you thought about looking into being a pilot in the Air Force? =\ Seems like a fairly logical conclusion...

Response by SFC James (JD) Flemal made Apr 11 at 2018 11:50 PM

SFC James (JD) Flemal — Wed, 11 Apr 2018 23:50:27 -0400

Gary,
I'm a retired Medical Recruiter from the Army. If your wife is a Medical professional, say a Doctor or Registered Nurse, she could enter as an officer. If she's more of a Medic type, an enlisted person. If she's looking for training to become a medical Professional, it would probably be from a scholarship.
I don't know the Air Force fraternization policy, but difficulties arise if there is a union of an Officer and an Enlisted. I assume there's a similar policy for a Warrant.
You must take into consideration that you in Aviation may not be stationed where there's a hospital or clinic that uses your wife's specialty. If it's a clinic situation, understand that if it has a position that matches your wife's specialty, it probably won't vacate anyone who's currently in that position to accommodate you. The Air Force has fewer medical facilities than the Army has so she could be restricted to a few bases that have openings for her specialty. They may not have Aviation associated with them, so you could be rotating in different regions based on your military specialties.
If, by a long shot your jobs match for duty stations, she could be 4-6 years behind you once appropriate training's are complete.
I'd need more information about you two to give you the best accurate information, not in this forum but more of a PM. I'm 4 years out of boots, but I could give you pretty accurate information.

Response by Cpl Chae Kim made Apr 13 at 2018 3:14 PM

Cpl Chae Kim — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 15:14:58 -0400

Simple: listen to your wife.

Response by MSG Frank Kapaun made Apr 22 at 2018 6:25 PM

MSG Frank Kapaun — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 18:25:45 -0400

As a retired army Master Sergeant that served as a First Sergeant, let me weigh in. Do the military and yourself a favor, DON’T ENLIST! Stay the hell away! You are way too self absorbed to be a unit asset. Your post was all me, me, me, with another heaping, helping of me. As with a lot young people in this country, it is all about you, as in not only do you want your cake, but you want to eat every bite of that thing too. I will fill you in on a little secret, the Army isn’t a job it is a calling. You work until mission is complete. In the army I was in, the 12-14 Hour day was the norm.

Response by Gary Henson made Apr 23 at 2018 9:23 PM

Gary Henson — Mon, 23 Apr 2018 21:23:58 -0400

I'm glad you're completely wrong about me. It's given me more confidence. I have done every one of those things you Didn't think I have. You know nothing of me. I will prove you wrong Frank Kaupaun.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 29 at 2018 6:37 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 29 Apr 2018 06:37:05 -0400

What should you do? Find a good divorce lawyer. (Too soon??)

Response by PO1 Kevin Dougherty made May 3 at 2018 11:37 PM

PO1 Kevin Dougherty — Thu, 03 May 2018 23:37:21 -0400

I will chime in to agree with the others that the needs of the child or children has to come first. I speak as a USCG Veteran who loved what he was doing and would have gladly made it a career, but made the choice not to reenlist for family. We had two children and if I had stayed in my wife would have left with the children. I chose to preserve the family. She did eventually leave, but by then the kids were old enough to make their own decision, and they stayed. Everyone is different, every family is different, so the only other thing I will say is choose carefully what you will do, and honestly, it sounds like you are. Good luck and God bless

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made May 8 at 2018 1:43 PM

SSG (ret) William Martin — Tue, 08 May 2018 13:43:39 -0400

One for AF and the other Army...figure out how much you love each other and then go from there.

Response by MGySgt Jerry Suarez made May 12 at 2018 5:14 PM

MGySgt Jerry Suarez — Sat, 12 May 2018 17:14:16 -0400

Go with what is best for each of you....never say I should have but at the same time be prepared for the bumps and challenges along the way

Response by MGySgt Jerry Suarez made May 12 at 2018 5:14 PM

MGySgt Jerry Suarez — Sat, 12 May 2018 17:14:53 -0400

Fyi medical personnel could work long hrs as well

Response by 1SG Jason Rose made May 13 at 2018 4:50 PM

1SG Jason Rose — Sun, 13 May 2018 16:50:08 -0400

You have to ask yourselves the question as to why you are called to serve? Is it for the benefits or are you following what you are passionate about? If it’s about the passion next question you have to ask is are you willing to support each other in following each other’s dreams? If so gonseparate ways and trust that your respective services can possibly support both of you at the same installation or at least nearby. If not you will have a long distance relationship at best and see each other a few times a year.
My best advice being biased is why not both do Army which has both aviation and medical. That way chances of being together are slightly better. The word sacrifice comes to mind when it comes to dual married couples. Your career could flourish while hers advances slowly due to her making a sacrifice to have kids. Which could cause issues in 2 competitive people. In summary ask questions first and if you two have a strong relationship it will last no matter what. Look into your options before committing both inside the military and your relationship! Good luck to both of you!

Response by CPO David Ransom made May 13 at 2018 11:42 PM

CPO David Ransom — Sun, 13 May 2018 23:42:41 -0400

On one of my ships our Electrical Division Officer was married to another us Navy Officer. When he finally got leave at the same time as her he hadn't seen her for two years. They had no kids. This was back before women were on ships, but I doubt the Navy would have put them on the same ship. With a child involved, you will have to have a child care plan on file at both commands. That plan might be needed on an overnight notice. Your dream now is your child.

Response by SFC Joseph Corrente made May 19 at 2018 12:06 PM

SFC Joseph Corrente — Sat, 19 May 2018 12:06:07 -0400

The problem here is what this country has become! The military is not a dream job it’s a call to duty! Either you want to serve or you don’t! Revert back to JFKs epic words in his inauguration speech. If your looking for a 9-5 go see cooperate America!

Response by CPL Sharon Fahey made May 23 at 2018 8:44 AM

CPL Sharon Fahey — Wed, 23 May 2018 08:44:43 -0400

Whatever happened to the piss cutters?

Response by SGM George Sluzenski made May 23 at 2018 3:13 PM

SGM George Sluzenski — Wed, 23 May 2018 15:13:09 -0400

The first hurdle you have is that both spouses are not eligible to enlist with a custody of a child or children. You had better sit down with a recruiter and get the honest run down on the reasoning and processes. Unless things have changed in order for both to enlist you would have to give up custody of the child. Like others have mentioned you have to think about your family first.

Response by SrA Michael Burdick made May 29 at 2018 5:08 PM

SrA Michael Burdick — Tue, 29 May 2018 17:08:40 -0400

One member of a family on active duty can test a marriage, both members on active duty will make it harder, add a child into the mix and you are asking for extreme hardship. If you both decide the military is what you want, be prepared to sacrifice. My best advice would be to join the same branch and pick AFSCs that are complimentary, ones that have a commonality in location so that being stationed at the same location becomes more reasonable. And go Air Force. It will make life for you and your child easier.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2018 10:59 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 02 Jun 2018 10:59:02 -0400

I'm an Army flight Surgeon. Its great work. Honestly, these days being medical in any service is about the same. Benefits, rank, type of work. The only difference is the color of the uniform. I'd talk to her about being an Army doc. AMEDD can work on assigning her where you are stationed. If she becomes a flight surgeon (easy to do whatever her specialty,) its that much easier, with you as an aviator. The other option is one of you is a Reservist. Have her look closely at the Reserve benefits for docs; they are about as good as the active duty benefits. Actually, much the same holds true for aviators.

Response by MSG Michael McEleney made Jun 3 at 2018 4:07 PM

MSG Michael McEleney — Sun, 03 Jun 2018 16:07:09 -0400

Question that no one has asked is whether you’re going Enlisted or Officer. I assume enlist since you’re going to start since you indicated you’re looking for a WO slot. Medical, depending on specialty, can be a 6-12 month Course, WO and Flight schools together are also about a year.
Alternatives: According to Air Force Magazine the USAF has started a pilot program to train Enlisted men as pilots. And If your wife has a college degree she may apply for the Uniformed Services Medical School. That’s a three year tour in Bethesda, Md. Start as an O-1, finish as an O-3.

Response by PO2 Jason Shaw made Jun 26 at 2018 1:11 AM

PO2 Jason Shaw — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 01:11:17 -0400

Man I got a lot of thoughts on this ... the kid changes things. Our country is being greatly impacted (negatively) in large part by the ever-increasing number of kids growing up in broken homes and part-time parents. I implore you to put your kid(s) first, so with that in mind: One of you has to push pause, or slow paced march, on your career. I don’t know where she’s at in her career, but she’s going to want/need some skills and experience to get a career once the kid(s) enter the middle/high school age(s). She may also have an opportunity (as an alternative now OR something to keep in mind when the kid(s) are in elementary) to get her degree thru spousal benefits in paying for college.

For you, there’s an option to go into reserves, take the front seat in the parenting area whilst she pursues/begins(?) her career and obtaining skills. Again, she’ll likely have a drive to go have a career (we get a lot of our self-worth from our careers) while you study and work towards Warrant in Reserves (I know a lot of guys that get multiple promotions during their time in reserves).

Side note: I did quit my job when my son was 18mo and was a Stay at Home dad until he was 3, then I got right back to my career (got a promotion and 30% raise within 17mo).

One more thing: If you have any family (retired parent(s) that can help out while the little one requires so much time and attention, is amazing if available. If not, just remember to try and reduce her workload since babies and toddlers require a CRAZY amount of work. I’ll put it like this: I was a nuke MM, worked horrible hours in crazy hot (>135F in the Indian Ocean) conditions ... and dealing with the constant mind f—k that IS the military, and I still say being a Stay at Home parent is the HARDEST job I ever had.

God Speed.

Response by LTC Stephen Parke made Jun 28 at 2018 8:52 AM

LTC Stephen Parke — Thu, 28 Jun 2018 08:52:16 -0400

First, you are wise to seek advice before making a life altering decision. Your whole family will be asked to make sacrifices. My wife and I made it work for 10 years and then we both got deployed at the same time and the grandparents had to take care of two children for a short period of time. If you make the decision to go Air Force and Army Aviation, work your detailers (personnel assignment branch) and look at joint bases like Joint Base San Antonio; Joint Base Lewis - McCord; and Joint Base Elmendorf - Richardson (all of them have both Air Force medical and Army Aviation slots). Good luck

Response by LTC Thomas Tennant made Jun 28 at 2018 9:15 AM

LTC Thomas Tennant — Thu, 28 Jun 2018 09:15:29 -0400

You both should follow your dreams and your better self. The army married couples program (AMCP) and the Air Force equivalent should help you two to be posted together.

Response by SSG Shawn Ireland made Jun 29 at 2018 8:39 PM

SSG Shawn Ireland — Fri, 29 Jun 2018 20:39:15 -0400

Know what you are both saying to one another. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to join the service of your choice and your wife choosing hers if that is what you both were on line for! Though the two jobs, can workout where you might find a posting that you both are capable of filling the slot available for each. But these don’t happen everyday and as everyone with any time under their belt knows for most you end up separated. Fact to know going in a newlywed, marriages and the military just are not the easiest thing to do. Having the responsibility of a Squad and all the vehicles, weapons and most important is your Squade, Platoon, Company and so on.. This job will take what civilians call free time out of your dictionary. Many marriages work in the military, but from my firsthand experience would advise anyone who has decided to get married prior to going active, you first must already have a relationship where you both live together busy with your work and spend the time you have with one another. Being that I was a SSG in the Infantry for eight years I to was married and found it hard at times to be awawy from my wife and daughter. Been that I had been married once before, would go against joining the military when you are getting married. There was a time it took two years or just about your tour before housing became available. Of course this was at a very busy time in service. A thing in favor for the two of you is that most Air Force Stations such as Mc Chord , and The Army Posts such as Ft. Lewis, were directly joined for or by their property line. This being done to save money and the joining posts usually were open the the other services. It’s all a matter of your heart and honor and doing what you must to become that which you wish to be. Serving your country and remembering to always have time for your loved one. If you don’t take care of her, she or he will be knocking at other doors. Sad fact but a very common situation.

Response by SSG George Duncan made Jul 15 at 2018 2:18 PM

SSG George Duncan — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 14:18:40 -0400

don't make your wifes' life hell the air force has helicopters

Response by COL Dan Williams made Jul 18 at 2018 5:53 AM

COL Dan Williams — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 05:53:31 -0400

Your first thought must be about who will raise your daughter.
Second, it seems you already decided that you are both going to work and that you are going to join the military, one branch or the other.
Military life is hard enough when you are both together but if you both join you will be subject to the needs of the military and probably not be stationed with each other.
So back to the family and raising children. Who do you want raising your family?
No one loves your children more than you. No one can love them more than you and your wife.
Speaking as an officer who was initially enlisted and later became an officer and then married we made the decision early on that only one of us would work outside the home. We chose family and to stay together no matter where the assignments took us. Short of the few deployments we remained together throughout my 30 years in the military.
Once you determine this decision everything else is easy.
Choose family first is my recommendation.