Name Changes in the Military

SPC Lukas Jones — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 02:47:29 -0500

Since my enlistment, my father has been estranged to me due to my lifestyle choices conflicting with his religion. I no longer feel a connection to him or his family and I have long considered taking my mother's maiden name.

Since this is a relatively simple legal matter in the civilian realm, I am wondering what the process is in the Army.

Has anyone else gone through a similar experience that can help me out?

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 3:43 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 03:43:03 -0500

I dont know much about name changing in the military but I would think the process would be relatively close to the civilian process save for the fact that you would have to go through you S-1 and update your info through them.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 4:13 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 04:13:37 -0500

What you do is ultimately up to you. What makes you happy is what is important. But they will always be family. No paperwork will change that. One day you may reconcile, then regret changing your name. Or they may understand why you did it. That is unknown. Don't worry about the process, make up your mind first. If you want to do it, figure out how to get it done. Don't make a decision based on the process. Personally, I may keep it as a reminder that you grew up as a Barretta and that is who you are. It shaped and molded you. You are the person you are because of the experiences you face. Changing your name is not a way to wipe the slate or start over. But if you find pride in your mother's maiden name, you can say this is who I am now and I'm stronger for it. The decision is yours and like I said, think about it and decide what YOU want to do.

Response by SSG John Bacon made Feb 2 at 2015 9:39 AM

SSG John Bacon — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 09:39:23 -0500

You have to remember though that it's not just the name change paper work you have to fill out or get adjusted. Every aspect of your military life thus far has had your Father's Sir-Name all that needs to get adjusted or your in for a lot of confusion.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 10:55 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 10:55:31 -0500

After you do it in the civilian world, it should be a matter of just a 4187 changing your last name with the supporting document signed by your company commander

Response by SPC Michael Murphy made Feb 2 at 2015 11:05 AM

SPC Michael Murphy — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 11:05:49 -0500

Shouldn't let gays in the military, old. School ARMY

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Feb 2 at 2015 11:07 AM

SFC Mark Merino — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 11:07:52 -0500

I urge you to reconsider. Changing a last name is a permanent declaration that the relationship will never be repaired. I am not fully aware of how bad things have gotten in your family so I am answering just based on your description. Us old stubborn people need time to change our set ways. I have 3 kids that will be my "little monkeys" even if I make it to 100, butthe reality is that we raise them strong enough to make their own decisions as adults and spread their wings. A name change just seems too permanent to me.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 2 at 2015 1:22 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 13:22:02 -0500

I know this may sound stupid, but ask a couple female married soldiers what the process was like for them. What ramifications they didn't expect popped up after the fact. You have a font of knowledge readily available to you, because they literally go through this issue every day.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 1:50 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 13:50:17 -0500

I don't think the actual process is long- paperwork, fee, a trip to the courthouse to legally change your name (all done in the civilian courts). You might run into a lengthy military process, though. Changing you name tapes is easy- Fiance, HR, IT problems abound in your foreseeable future. If you were my Soldier, I would counsel you that you only get one father. Regardless of how things are now, I guarantee you down the road, you will have second thoughts about this.

That being said, I don't really care what you do.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 2:18 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 14:18:07 -0500

I changed my name (8 years after we got married) while on Active Duty. It was a relatively simple DA4187. The longest/hardest part was waiting for it to come back from HRC or whereever approved. If you are really interested, I could dig up my old (2003) 4187 and give you an example, just let me know. It's part of my staple documents that go with me everywhere. It was easier to do the name change in the military than to do all the civilian stuff required, SSN card, DL, credit cards, banks, etc.