Oddest / funniest moments while you were in?

Sgt Packy Flickinger — Tue, 13 May 2014 02:17:26 -0400

I have a few:
At Pendelton, firing the M249 saw in front of a small berm at targets down range. Just as the guy next to me squeezed the trigger, poor thumper jumped up in front of the barrel from behind the berm at 3 feet. Guess the rest.

Another range one. While firing the M60 at about 300 yards, a large buck walked out from the trees in front of the targets. Damn they run fast with a dozen 60's firing at it. It got away.

On a night training maneuver waiting to ambush the other platoon. Our scout came back and said they were delayed. Get some shut eye we'll wake you when they approach. An hour later, tap tap on the shoulder "wake up there coming", tap tap on the shoulder "wake up there coming",tap tap on the shoulder "wake up there coming". About the 10th guy down wakes up, jumps up starts screaming, rips off his clothes and starts swatting himself. He fell asleep on a fire ant mound.

Response by SSG Robin Rushlo made May 13 at 2014 10:26 AM

SSG Robin Rushlo — Tue, 13 May 2014 10:26:58 -0400

I was at 7thh DMMC at Fort Ord and were in the old wooden Barracks turned into offices. Well I had been there for BCT and in the up stair room where the Platoon Guide room was I placed my Name in the old wooden beam. When I got assigned there years later with the 7th ID 7th DMMC was office for Team 2 was up stairs in this old wooden barracks converted to office and the wooden beam above my desk was my name. So it is true in the Military if you put your name on something your will return to it again.

Response by SGT Shon D. Hill made May 13 at 2014 11:02 AM

SGT Shon D. Hill — Tue, 13 May 2014 11:02:16 -0400

As a young 18 year old private, first unit Combat Support Hospital, we set up about a fourth of hospital for training in Fort Hood (new unit building up from inactive status, we were all new!). I fell face first into foxhole on perimeter, walked into our new ER, TV cameras and crew from Killeen TV station around and they all gawk because there were simulated casualties around, but boy did my wounds look real though! (They were real! Face tore up, lol). I was on news that night, career off to a great start! Young wife at home, embarrassed as hell.....;)

Response by SGT Daniel Alonzo made Jun 18 at 2014 2:29 AM

SGT Daniel Alonzo — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 02:29:19 -0400

We just got done with an exercise at N.T.C. Ft Erwin CA, And were waiting for our ]lane on the tarmac when we found out our plane would not be leaving that day so we spent 3 days there waiting for the chance to go home. Well our Col. and XO were walking with my B.C. and he was not in a good mood we just found out we would not be leaving till the next day! Well our Col. was Porto Rican well I just had to do it being short and he was about 6-6 or 6-7 I walk up to him and tugged on his pants leg and said Sir BOSS BOSS is that our plane boss! Well as my B.C. tried to dig a hole to hide in the Col just looked down at me trying not to laugh all he could say was GIT GIT out of here! And then busted a gut laughing! We left latter that day though!!

Response by PV2 Abbott Shaull made Dec 30 at 2014 3:08 PM

PV2 Abbott Shaull — Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:08:57 -0500

Well it would be the time when in 1989 when several Soviet Union Generals including the Soviet Union Minister of Defence and the Marshal of the Soviet Union who holds the same position as our Joint Chief of Staff. There was peepshow on Saturday, including a Airborne Drop, and display. Well we had all type of equipments out on the range, someone at Battalion or somewhere gets worried about having it setting out with so much Soviet Union Brass mugging about the Fort Bragg. May I remind you during this time Fort Bragg was pretty much an open base, except for where Aviation units and Special Operation "D" Detachment area, along with the various motor-pools. So anyways last formation on Friday afternoon, suddenly First Sergeant calls out my name, and the other 5 unlucky Private and PFCs. We get 1 MRE, told grab our sleepbag, LBE, fill up our canteens, and we going to secure the area and Bleachers where they will be sitting, with a radio out by Sicily Drop Zone, I think it was, maybe it was Holland Drop Zone.

Anyways we were promised we would be returning first thing in the morning... Right. This detail was set up last minute, and no one had the details, or planned for us to be there, much less talked to anyone else how we were to leave, much less authorize to be there. Well the 1-17th Cav had AH-64 out there and they had Mechanic out there with Radio, guess what we didn't have, because we weren't suppose to be out there. He wasn't suppose to be out there either, but he knew more than what we did.

Well come the next morning, my Platoon Leader show up with the Company Supply Clerk, with more MREs. Seems that the MPs and other Security measures had taken effect at 0500 hrs, and since weren't technically suppose to be there, because no one had um thought of having security there overnight, that we had to stay there because the area was sealed. No one was leaving until the show was over. Mind you were suppose to get off, and enjoy the rest of weekend. Well what the Lt said really shook the other 5 of this little shit crap detail, that we were to get our asses into woodline, before the snipers decide we were vermit. Seems the mechanic knew about this, and why he had been keeping a low profile by the helicopters. Our orders was to make sure no one was snooping around any of the bleacher or equipment until relieved, but somewhere along the way, someone failed to inform us and the people in charge of security about each other.

What saved us, was when they came online at 0500 hours, was 2 things. 1-17 Cav Commander had already informed them that their would be mechanic around the AH-64. One of the guys on the detail got sick in the middle night and woke me up early to take so it threw off our schedule, otherwise we would of been in the middle of changing two hour one rotation at 0500. So they, instead of 1 heat signature they found one near the AH-64 where it should of been. Along with 5 other in prone position, and another one walking around, but just walking around, not really doing much. Of course, before this I heard shit, because I had woke the next person after my two hours were up, and it wasn't until 7 when we agreed to get up to get around, that they realize that so and so got sick during the night, and the first person who pulled watch didn't have much to do since we were all up mugging about taking looks about too for good share of his time. The only reason we were still there and not dead, or arrest, they had figured out someone had mistakenly sent out detail, but not told them. Oh, and shit rolled down hill quickly, and since I was the Company Commander and First Sergeant #1 on their Shithead list, it was why my Lt Leader was here handing out MREs calming telling us to get into the wood line until told otherwise.

To bad the other 5 didn't realize that they we were only this detail because somehow either the Commander or Top heard about or thought of it, figure it was perfect way to fuck to Private Shaull, and get him out in the field, while he was on Profile, do something productive. Oh well. It was neat little show. I am sure that none of the Soviet Generals were quite impress with the display, except for the accuracy of the weapons, and the airborne jump. For they really do know how to set up and pull of peep show on a grand scale.

Response by SGT Michael Glenn made Jan 13 at 2015 11:03 AM

SGT Michael Glenn — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:03:03 -0500

Was at a dining inn at post level, didnt really want to be there in the 1st place and some of my soldiers felt the same. The post commanders wife was a bit too friendly and was like my grandmas age and most deff looked it !!! Anyways, one of my soldiers came up to me with a huge grin on his face and promptly announces the old lady has just mad a pass at him! I asked what was so funny about that and he said "nothing, its what Im getting ready to do"he had a long piece if lettuce that he had been carefully folding in his hands and then he just simply shoved it up his nose.... I had no idea what he was going to do and looked at him with the most strangest look.He just said watch this and was off in her direction all the while rubbing his nose. For our amusement he positioned himself and her so we could see from a side angle. She was all smiles and laughing and kept reaching out to him all the while he was playing with his nose. then with the luster of a 12 year old kid, he stuck a finger up his nose, dug for a second and started pulling this piece of lettuce out slowly !!! The look on her face was a mix between horror and dumbfoundness until it actually hit her and man did she scream!!! her glass went sailing, she made the best effort to cover her mouth as she was making a B line for outside but didnt make it...he merely finished pulling the lettuce out, dropped it on a plate and simply walked away with a very pleased look on his face. We didnt have the phrase Face palm back then , but Im sure I did one just the same.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 13 at 2015 9:09 PM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 21:09:25 -0500

While in Boot Camp, one of the recruits looked straight up in the air during final drill practice. The drill instructors, of course, went ballistic.

DI - WTF are you doing private?
Recruit - Sir, private got shit on by a seagull, sir!

Then came the bearing talk.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 31 at 2015 7:37 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:37:27 -0400

I've got a couple that come to mind. Days before graduation OSUT, and we had spent several days cleaning all our TA-50. Cleaning it spotless. Anything that would scrub clean like the purple spot in my helmet cover from a smoke grenade? Well it got cut out and then the edges scrubbed till they unraveled, and it got turned in as fair wear and tear. We're standing in line outside CIF waiting to turn the gear in, single file line, silent, with duffel bags front loaded. Bird flies over and craps on my duffel bag. Fortunately I had some paper toweling in my pocket. Some spit and a fierce scrubbing while standing there, and I had it clean enough to turn in.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 31 at 2015 7:42 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:42:05 -0400

We were sitting through yet another powerpoint slide, in one of these 2 hour long blocks of instruction. This one happened to be on safety, particularly job-site safety and ppe. The LT giving the class asks, "What's the leading cause of blindness?" Private in the front row raises his hand and yells out, "Masturbation!"

Response by SPC Jeffrey Reese made Nov 5 at 2016 8:26 PM

SPC Jeffrey Reese — Sat, 05 Nov 2016 20:26:03 -0400

Every one in the military knows the adage if you see unexploded ordinance mark it but don't touch it right!??!! I was stationed at Ft. Knox in the late 80's. We were on a field exercise and one of the squad leaders came across an unexploded flash bang he kicked it once then twice then picked it up(Bang) Now this was an E-6 mind you. He didn't loose his hand but was severely burned. This did close down the field site for several hours we had to evacuate the site while range control cleared the site. The thing that made this funny was This was the safety Sergeant for the company he gave the safety beefing to every platoon before every field problem and at the Maintenance shop monthly.

Response by TSgt Eddie Mixon made Nov 6 at 2016 8:56 AM

TSgt Eddie Mixon — Sun, 06 Nov 2016 08:56:31 -0500

While in training at Lowry AFB, three of us who were between classes were sent to clean an office while waiting for the rest of the class to finish the block we had done. I was an E4 Senior Airman along with a one and two striper. When we finished with the detail, an E6 asked me. "Would you like to take your guys and go home or would you prefer to s**k my d**k? No idea where my answer came from but I told him "Since this is a training base, I assume the TSGT is going to demonstrate the proper procedure first." The Captain sitting behind him left the room and the E8's head hit his desk laughing. The TSGT turned nice and scarlet and not so politely asked me to leave his building. I figured he had used that line several times and there I went and ruined it for him.

Response by SFC Bill Kurtz made Feb 5 at 2020 12:34 AM

SFC Bill Kurtz — Wed, 05 Feb 2020 00:34:20 -0500

Ft Gordon GA Signal school. Our CO was Peruvian by birth so his accent could be something else. One morning before PT he gets upon the platform to give us a pep talk. He wanted us to ‘focus’. With his accent it came out as “Fuck us”. He said it half a dozen times. Top was behind him with a look that sAid “Want to PCS to Hell? Just laugh” lucky for me I’d worked in a CS chamber for a while so I could hold it in.