Older vets, have any of your friendships (other than military/combat) survived the years? Have you found any loyalty in civilians?

Cpl Dennis F. — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 14:12:41 -0500

Response by SFC George Smith made Dec 25 at 2016 2:20 PM

SFC George Smith — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 14:20:27 -0500

most interesting...
I still talk and in fact see troops I have known as many as 35 years...
Many of My Civilian Friends go back 50 years + to the Days out Fathers were in RVN at the same time... we still do Birthdays and Holidays as family....
2 of the "Rat " Team Chiefs I had in Okinawa on the 80 Live close and we do dinner at asian restaurants every 2-3 months...
there are others we still talk on the Phone and exchange cards...

Response by PO3 Michael James made Dec 25 at 2016 2:25 PM

PO3 Michael James — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 14:25:38 -0500

Cpl Fresch, Sir; Met my wife after fulfilling my Military obligation, she has been my loyal friend and partner for .. 41 years now... I do have one friend (civilian) of 27 years.. I used to work with, and we still stay in touch... Although, I feel that I could be a better friend, it takes two !

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Dec 25 at 2016 2:37 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 14:37:02 -0500

Yes, my classmates from our church's boarding school. Just as with the military it was a close shared experience which changed our lives and formed our thinking.

Response by 1SG Cameron M. Wesson made Dec 25 at 2016 2:55 PM

1SG Cameron M. Wesson — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 14:55:41 -0500

yes... quite a few actually. That said, you can not expect a "straight up" civilian friend to understand or fathom the military/combat relationships... nor should you really.

This is not unlike myriad of other "truths" for understanding another persons "survival experiences".... law school, medical school, basic training, OSUT vs AIT, Combat Arms vs Combat Service Support, and the list continues.

the important aspect is to have a mutual respect... or even love... for the friend.... person(s). If you have that... and they have the same for you... the rest really doesnt matter.

well thats my 2 cents

peace out

Response by SFC Frank DeJulius made Dec 25 at 2016 3:00 PM

SFC Frank DeJulius — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 15:00:41 -0500

I have more friends now than ever, in my second retirement. The majority have no military background, but these guys are respectful of my service, especially my Vietnam time.

Response by SPC Jeff Castle made Dec 25 at 2016 3:40 PM

SPC Jeff Castle — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 15:40:26 -0500

Have 1 army buddy I've maintained contact with, and there are a few good civilians out there

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2016 4:17 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 16:17:59 -0500

There are a few people from high school that I still talk to. Ironically, they are now military related. There is my wife....whom her and I stayed friends for many years before we got together. Then there is another friend (and best friend of my wife, actually), whom I have been friends with since high school as well who is now a MAJ in the Air Force.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Dec 25 at 2016 4:55 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 16:55:06 -0500

Have a few old friends from my schools days I talk to now and then.

Response by LTC John Shaw made Dec 25 at 2016 5:08 PM

LTC John Shaw — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 17:08:17 -0500

I have friends from grade school, boy scouts, high school, college, military and civilian work. Many folks I have known 40+ years. So friendship and loyalty are not just unique to the military.

Response by MAJ Raymond Brooks made Dec 25 at 2016 5:32 PM

MAJ Raymond Brooks — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 17:32:26 -0500

Have one buddy and his wife, both from high school that I have kept up with. In fact, just got off the phone with him.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Dec 25 at 2016 5:59 PM

Cpl Dennis F. — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 17:59:58 -0500

I have one friend from grade school, one female from High School. and three Marine friends from RVN that I keep in touch with. One ex is dead and the other one out of contact for many years. Other than racers and track workers. they have all fallen away. Perhaps its the PTSD withdrawal from everyone, but none of the post Vietnam friends survived. I am glad to see everyone else has become well adjusted.

Response by Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen made Dec 25 at 2016 8:03 PM

Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 20:03:05 -0500

I have one friend from high school that I still keep in contact with. It's really amazing because he has no idea of what I did in the military and I have no idea about his civilian occupation.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 25 at 2016 8:32 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 20:32:12 -0500

Nope not really, vets are the friends that are always there when you need something or they need something. We have each other's backs, civilians don't understand this and friendships don't last

Response by SGT Frank Leonardo made Dec 25 at 2016 9:10 PM

SGT Frank Leonardo — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 21:10:19 -0500

I have found a friend for the last 10 years who is a civy non military I don't think we will ever disband ever a great person and great personality

Response by PO1 Tony Holland made Dec 26 at 2016 1:19 AM

PO1 Tony Holland — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 01:19:25 -0500

Still friends with several classmates from my final two years at Yamato High School which was part of Tachikawa AFB in the 60's. Friends from Sunnyvale High in California have come and gone. Being a service brat meant making and losing friends all too common - sixth grade was in three different states due to military orders. Friends from both colleges and my fraternity have disappeared over time.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Dec 26 at 2016 2:06 AM

CAPT Kevin B. — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 02:06:59 -0500

I don't know if it's significant friendships, but I've noticed we tend to pick up right where we left off when I run into an old shipmate. Could have been 40 years, but we still remember that Alpha Hotel in Deck Division like it was yesterday.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2016 2:13 AM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 02:13:45 -0500

Cpl Dennis F. - The civilians I recruited and trained for intelligence collections and more to the point operations have remained deeply loyal to me. Former lovers, men and women, except for my first husband who tried to kill me for reasons I will not discuss - have remained deeply loyal to me. Pilots, security, medical, and support personnel who were recruited and worked on foreign relief missions with me - have remained deeply loyal to me. Civilians we helped remained deeply loyal to me. So, I would say, beyond school mates and combat relations - civilians certainly exhibit deep loyalty - including those who continue to risk their lives in support of our efforts - perhaps because many of us owe each other our lives. Warmest Regards, Sandy :)

Response by Sgt Joshua Seavey made Dec 26 at 2016 3:15 AM

Sgt Joshua Seavey — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 03:15:33 -0500

I have one buddy and his two brothers (one of which joined the Navy) that I'm still friends with. Otherwise, I don't really have friends that aren't veterans or in the military.

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made Dec 26 at 2016 4:33 AM

Maj Kim Patterson — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 04:33:54 -0500

Cpl Dennis F. Absolutely! I am in touch with friends who were born just 2 doors down 3 days after me, twins:1 joined the military and was estranged until recently and the other is a pillar of the communty on the other side of the continent. Schoolmates from everywhere, civilian volunteers are very warm, welcoming and compassionate. My service differs greatly from anyone I know. I am in touch with 2LT friends who have gone on to greatness, I did not lose a single friend through the political debate and they range from far right to far left. I recently traveled to my hometown after being gone almost 40 years and several friends gathered to share memories of long ago. I am the one who left. But we laughed, remembered, and of course promised it would be less than another 40 years before we gathered again. Civilian friends were quicker to come to my aid when I needed help than other vets. I suspect it may have something to do with being a woman with many interests. What I find amazing when I talk to civilian friends are the stories of the cousins, aunts, uncles etc that remain in the same town and gather for weddings, funerals, holidays and just because.

Response by MSgt Mark Bucher made Dec 26 at 2016 5:08 AM

MSgt Mark Bucher — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 05:08:12 -0500

A couple of civilian friends have been there through the years, as far as loyalty? The only things civilians are loyal to is the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Took me a while to get used to, and understand that after I retired

Response by CWO2 John Markiewicz made Dec 26 at 2016 12:06 PM

CWO2 John Markiewicz — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 12:06:50 -0500

While many, if not most, of my friends are Veterans, I also have a significant number of non-veteran friends. You have to be a friend to have a friend. I am one who is outgoing in nature and make friends easily, I am also forgiving of most transgressions, but not forgetful of them.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Dec 27 at 2016 8:51 AM

Cpl Justin Goolsby — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 08:51:50 -0500

Well I'm not that old, but it has been 15 years since high school. But I will say I find civilian loyalty very rare. Even more insulting is with this social media craze, people can't even say it to your face. They just delete friend and leave you sitting there wondering what the hell you did wrong. I've had friends who I've been to their weddings, I'm on a friendly terms with their parents just remove me from their lives without a second thought. I would have expected that kind of thing from acquaintances, but not people that I thought were friends.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2016 6:35 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 18:35:17 -0500

My wife. 26 years now and still going strong. Past that, almost none have survived the test of time. A lot because of distance, some due to diametrically opposed political views. <sigh/> I do still have friends on FB that used to be F2F friends. Have not seen them in over a decade though. The only ones that have survived were the ones willing to invest in me and my life as I invested in theirs. Still working on those! :)

Response by PVT Raymond Lopez made Dec 27 at 2016 10:30 PM

PVT Raymond Lopez — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 22:30:50 -0500

Not like the people I served with in combat with in Vietnam. My friend and I have been friends for almost 52 years and his kids and grandkids treat me like family!!!

Response by SP5 Steve Powell made Jan 4 at 2017 1:21 AM

SP5 Steve Powell — Wed, 04 Jan 2017 01:21:05 -0500

Friendship is a rather subjective concept when asked in the context of civilian versus "other". Let me explain...I was a "brat". My father was a career soldier 1946-1966. As many of you know unexpected or unanticipated moves (transfers) were normal during those years. 90% of the schools I attended were military impacted. There weren't alot of friendship rituals since time did not permit such things. You made friends quickly. Many of the friendships I made as a youth still exist today and are strengthened through Facebook, Classmates.Com and other social media. High school reunions have played an important part of helping maintain our contact. Yes, many of those friendships remain 46 years later. But making friends over the years is a fluid environment. People come into our lives and depart with varying levels of our friendship. Previous posts point out some of the difficulties like relating to others who do not have common ground (experiences) and so I say create some. I meet alot of people, for example, in the Scouting Movement. Many are pure civilians and we are friends based upon that commonality. I meet ex-military there as well and have developed friendships. Does that mean we get together and talk war stories? Maybe. My best friend of 20 years now has helped me build my greenhouse and fix my car. He's a pure "Iowa" civilian. Loyal? He joined my motorcycle club as a "support" member. It's a military dominated club (VOVMC). Friendships survive if you want them to. Friendship, like marriage, can be a long road with many turns and obstacles. Your friendships will survive and flourish if you work at it. If not, there's always an exit sign a few miles down the road. :)

Response by Col Carl Whicker made Jan 14 at 2017 8:08 AM

Col Carl Whicker — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 08:08:23 -0500

Actually, we have several friends that have remained loyal and true friends over the years, including some from our high school days. Friendships are based on common experiences, likes, dislikes, etc. Of course, I think the friendships we made while stationed overseas may be some of our most precious. At the same time, friendships, of all types, are precious and should be treasured for the richness they add to our lives