One main reason relationships matter

CPT Benjamin Faw — Wed, 13 May 2015 09:44:07 -0400

As the global economy, sharing economy, and web 3.0 take shape, a common thread has emerged: the ability to operate in a vacuum and accomplish amazing things by one’s self is becoming less and less likely. Teams are driving change at a rapid pace, and teams are built on relationships. With each passing day, I believe relationships matter more and more because without successful relationships, teams cannot come close to reaching their potential.

I learned deeply about why relationships matter at age 23 and I learned the hard way. I learned about relationships at Army Ranger School. While this Forbes article shows how teams in business can relate to sports (http://www.forbes.com/2010/08/05/teams-teamwork-individuals-leadership-managing-collaboration.html), I found pockets of the military hold even more accurate analogies to the teams I now work on in business.

In the mountain phase of Ranger School, located in the frigid landscape of Dahlonega, Georgia, my body began to fail. Bone chilling night time temperatures and around thirty minutes of sleep spread over the course of three days drained the little strength I had left from prior phases of the course. One day, the pain in my legs and shoulders reached a new, unbearable level while climbing a seemingly unending mountain. Some extra radios and gear created a load of around 130 pounds in my rucksack. On a few occasions, I felt as if the huge backpack was going to flip me backwards and down the hillside. I was so exhausted; I would have welcomed the fall just to alleviate the pain.

When the climb was finally over and the rucksack was off my back, I could barely move, and I still needed to fulfill my mission planning responsibilities for the next day. I had worked side-by-side with my dear friend and Ranger Buddy, Ryan, for several weeks and he could see the pain in my eyes. Ryan asked about my remaining duties, told me to get rest, and shouldered my mission planning responsibilities. I probably slept for only thirty minutes, but that half hour felt like eternity. When I woke up, I felt reborn. Later in the mission, I helped Ryan in the same manner, and together we accomplished many times what neither could have done individually, succeeding in missions and graduating from Ranger School. Were it not for that incredible bond of a Ranger buddy relationship, I would not have graduated and would not be where I am today.

Later in my Army experiences, and in the private sector, my greatest accomplishments occurred not during fits of solitary effort, but rather, as a result of the relationships I fostered over time and the collective results of the teams on which I served.

Years after Ranger School was over, relationships mattered again when I was looking at a job post-military. Despite the valuable leadership and managerial experiences from the Army and Ranger school, no company where I lived was knocking on the door to offer me a job. Instead, relationships created options. I reached out to a friend who worked at a company I admired, and after a long series of interviews, I landed a position at an exciting electric car company called Tesla Motors. Not only did my friend help me get the position, but he took me under his wing and taught me more than I ever expected to learn about corporate finance, tooling, automotive supply chain, and cost reduction strategies.

Working at a company built on data around human connections, I have been in a unique position to watch some of the recent changes in how these trends affect today’s knowledge workers. Even with all of the most complete and real-time data on the planet, I doubt we will change the world. However, with authentic human relationships, with teams built from this foundation, I think we can.

Each individual human has amazing capabilities, yet I am convinced teams - teams driven by relationships - will solve the problems of the 21st century. Do you think relationships are becoming more valuable?

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About the author:
Ben Faw is a guest contributor to Lifeguides, and a prior contributor to CNN, Business Insider, Military.com, and several other publishers on issues ranging from business school to military members transition into the private sector.
Follow Ben on Twitter: @btfaw

Response by Lt Col Timothy Parker, DBA made May 13 at 2015 10:09 AM

Lt Col Timothy Parker, DBA — Wed, 13 May 2015 10:09:29 -0400

Ben, what a great posting. In my view, relationships have always been important. In today's connected world, communication moves quickly so the quality and depth of relationships become that much more important - depending on what you want to accomplish.

I've been fortunate to be able to study business for several years. Relationships (employee to boss, employee to employee, CEO to CEO, etc.) are how things work. For example, a critical factor for employees staying engaged at work is having a positive relationship with co-workers (although having a sucky boss negates that to a great degree). I also read that "you are influenced most by the five people people you hang out with the most" - so be careful of your choices. Just my humble opinion.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made May 13 at 2015 10:13 AM

COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM — Wed, 13 May 2015 10:13:19 -0400

- Concur with the above note and the original article.
- Team effort and performance is a necessity and not just a slogan.
- Learning how to be a part of a team and to lead a team should start at a very young age in order to build maturity, experience, and knowledge.
- Sports is a great way to start this learning and to illustrate the concept but the application extends to all parts of life such as social, public, private, etc.
- Unfortunately, the societal trend I am seeing in the younger generation is that they are walking away from sports and focusing more on the individual than the team. I see this as having long term negative impacts for not just the individual but for our society as well.

Response by SGT William Howell made May 13 at 2015 12:01 PM

SGT William Howell — Wed, 13 May 2015 12:01:05 -0400

Just a story that goes with this.

I working at a FOB in the mountains near the Pakistan border. We had a change of command in Kabul. The new NCOIC sent out a message about reports not going in on time and how these would be accomplished on time. It was just a email about what was expected from his soldiers. We had very limited coms and it really hit me the wrong way. This guy is sitting in a cuddly office, while I am out in the middle of nowhere and he is going to start telling me how to run my show. I fired back a snippy email telling him just that. The response was there was a helo on it's way to Kabul and I had better be on it. After my ass chewing I realized this guy had his stuff together and he really was a good guy. Because of the email I overreacted to something that was not a big deal. Were are still friends to this day.

My point is, emails can't replace face to face meetings always. Thing get lost in the interweb.

Response by SGT Jeremiah B. made May 13 at 2015 12:52 PM

SGT Jeremiah B. — Wed, 13 May 2015 12:52:15 -0400

I can't up vote this enough. It's something that's being lost in the rapid individualization across ALL generations today. We hate our political opponents because we don't know them. We're terrified of letting our kids walk home alone from the bus stop because we don't know our neighbors. We believe just about everything the media tells us because we aren't engaging anyone outside of our immediate circle. I've seen so many guys sink into this crazy, self-destructive existence because they've decided to drive away everyone rather than risk being vulnerable for even a moment.

Every success is a team effort. Jobs was nothing without Wozniak, Gates without Allen. Hell, my last tank crew was an ineffective mess because the TC and I didn't get along at all. Without those relationships, we might as well just hang it up.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made May 13 at 2015 1:47 PM

Capt Richard I P. — Wed, 13 May 2015 13:47:01 -0400

CPT Benjamin Faw, great points. I definitely agree that relationships are crucial. I think others on this thread have made good points about the importance of in-person personal connection. I'm not sure I'm on board with the idea that relationships are becoming more important than they were before, I imagine they've always been important. I think technology can improve our efficiency in building and maintaining relationships, and I think that efficiency can be deceptive and cause some of us to believe relationships take less effort to maintain than they do.

Thanks for the article!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 16 at 2015 8:39 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sat, 16 May 2015 20:39:05 -0400

The nice thing about being a boss is inculcating my vision of culture in the unit. We worked hard, trained hard, and had fun to keep us from being dull.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 19 at 2015 8:13 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 20:13:06 -0500

Outstanding post CPT Benjamin Faw Thank you.