What options exist for an active duty 11b who wants to be with a terminally ill family member (long-term)?

2022-01-27T17:08:11-05:00

My mother is terminally ill, and her doctors have informed me that, barring some kind of miracle, she will not be with us by my ETS date (active duty contract of 3yrs24wks and 4yrs reserve) which is in November 2024. What options do I have to either be chaptered out, reassigned to a duty station closer to central Illinois, or change to either reserve or national guard? I just graduated OSUT in December, went on HBL, arrived to pre rasp on a volunteer contract on 20220106, and was med dropped from rasp (not pre rasp) on 20220110 due to an upper respiratory infection, which I was not NTR’d for. I do not currently have my hard orders to my first duty station, and I would be willing to forfeit benefits of any kind due to already having a civilian job lined up, and having a college degree. Any help would be very much appreciated.?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2022 5:27 PM

2022-01-27T17:27:35-05:00

Contact @SFC Thomas Livingston ... he is very knowledgeable on Military related issues.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2022 5:42 PM

2022-01-27T17:42:01-05:00

Did you talk to your leadership at all about this before you came onto this forum?

You could apply for a compassionate reassignment but you have to read through the regulation on it and see if you'd qualify for it but I don't think you would. AR 614-200.

Also - the doctors can't really guarantee when someone will die or how much time they have even if terminally ill.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2022 6:06 PM

2022-01-27T18:06:34-05:00

You can't "change" to a Reserve Component, anyone who tells you otherwise is giving you bad information.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2022 7:13 PM

2022-01-27T19:13:42-05:00

Chain of command is stop number 1! I would also use your chaplain to help if possible...

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2022 8:23 PM

2022-01-27T20:23:25-05:00

You will want to speak with your Chaplain, NCO Chain up to the 1SG at least, and your local JAG office regarding requesting a Hardship Discharge / Transfer to the IRR. Your request is going thru your company commander up to a general officer, if would be good for you to make sure your chain is tracking your intentions and for you to get advice on assistance available to you and the separation process.

Response by MAJ Byron Oyler made Jan 27 at 2022 8:45 PM

2022-01-27T20:45:47-05:00

Don’t change your career goals for your mother that is closer to dying and I am pretty certain she would not want you to. Say you get out or get closer to her, you will not be spending every woke moment with her. You will have to get a job, you will have friends and maybe even a special someone. Mom dies and then what do you have? If you want Army do Army now. Some opportunities only come once if life however you will always have memories of what your Mom did for you and most moms don’t want you dropping everything in your life to come watch a disease take her life.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2022 10:40 AM

2022-01-28T10:40:56-05:00

Your options are:

Compassionate Reassignment (AR 614-200, Chapter 5) or Hardship Discharge (AR 635-200, Chapter 6).

Either way, your first stop if going to be you reading those regulations to see if you even qualify for either one. Then, if you do meet the criteria, then speak with your CoC right away.

I have to be honest with you, though. Being given a Hardship or Compassionate due to a terminally ill parent is rare. Not saying it can't happen, but very rare. I can't even begin to tell you the number of SMs that have been gone during the death of a parent. IMHO, however, the best case scenario is that you will be given Emergency Leave (when the Red Cross is contacted and the process is started) so you can be home one last time before your mother passes. It sucks, I know....trust me. I just want to be real with you and have you understand that your requests may very well get denied. You need to mentally prepare yourself for that.

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Jan 28 at 2022 12:41 PM

2022-01-28T12:41:56-05:00

I take it you wish to remain in the service.
1. Could you ask for a transfer to the reserve/National Guard? Someone else will have to answer that one.
2. Is it possible to be placed in a location near to you mother's home? Again someone else may answer this.
3. Is it possible that your mother could become your dependent? Dependents may reside in area where their presence is allowed - your duty station? Just checking.

Response by SSG Dave Johnston made Jan 28 at 2022 8:29 PM

2022-01-28T20:29:21-05:00

talk with your leadership, find a Chaplain, see if they can get orders to here: Rock Island Arsenal, Illinois... that's probably the closest you can get to home while wearing the uniform... but you must discuss your options with your command

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 29 at 2022 12:18 AM

2022-01-29T00:18:45-05:00

request a compassionate reassignment