Overweight/slacking soldiers, how important or heavy is their spouses/family influence?

2015-01-22T14:49:07-05:00

You have seen them, judged them, counseled them, tried to support them or maybe even live with them in the barracks. We are clear that a soldier must watch, not just his/her fitness but, his/her career all around. Everybody talks about the spouses, like every soldier were married. But further than just the spouse, the family as a whole influence too.
I hate so much in the holidays that I'm still full from christmas eve! But my wife must be related with Jenny Craig or something because she watch what I eat like a weight watcher!
What I mean is, even when you are a great NCO and you are trying to lead your soldiers in the right path, what can you do against a family/spouse that is pulling him back?

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made May 15 at 2015 2:47 PM

2015-05-15T14:47:01-04:00

hey you have a great wife because she is looking out for and wants to keep you around for a very very long time.
my does the same thing

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made Aug 5 at 2015 4:40 PM

2015-08-05T16:40:16-04:00

PFC Antonio Camacho Ortiz - your wife is one-in-a-million, a definite keeper. Back when I was married, one of the biggest challenges I had was a spouse who cooked up a storm and her feelings got hurt when I didn't eat it all. Yah, she was a great cook, but it played havoc on my weight no end.

Response by SGT Jeremiah B. made Aug 5 at 2015 4:48 PM

2015-08-05T16:48:37-04:00

A supportive family is extremely important. Overeating and poor diet are "team efforts" from the family perspective because what is served and portion sizes are going to be dependant on more than just the service member. It's like trying to quit smoking when your wife still smokes - It can be done but chances are low.

There really isn't much you can do from an NCO perspective. You can encourage the SM to get his/her spouse on board and even identify/offer resources for family health counseling, but you can't make the spouse do anything. You just have to make it clear to the SM that family dynamics are not an excuse for failing to meet standards but that you're willing to help his whole family get on the right track if they want it. Then follow through if they take you up on it.

Response by LTC Shelly Ramos made Jan 22 at 2017 11:16 PM

2017-01-22T23:16:44-05:00

Good for you that your wife cooks. I'm a female, retired Army Lieutenant Colonel, divorced from an Army solider, and remarried to non military man. I don't cook, I can cook well, but I cook only occasionally (twice a week and holidays). The biggest heated discussion me and my husband have is I don't cook, and my excuse I'm busy. My kids are grown so I'm not busy from taking care of kids. However, I'm running a tax business in my house and I'm working on my doctorates degree in leadership management. He doesn't see me as doing anything at the house, when it comes to cooking that is. He sees me meeting clients, preparing tax return, cleaning house, and working on my degree (I average working on my doctorates 40 40 ours a week). I want to make my husband happy, but I'm lost on how I can cook every night for him, and do all I have to do during any given day? Not that it matters much, but our money is separate, he has his money and I have mine and we split the bills evenly. I know I got off track from the original question - sorry about that, but I need some sound advice on what I can do? If anyone could help, please advise.

The original response's reference military families and military solders. I've been a family member and a soldier, over three years deployed, and many more years in training - between me and my now ex husband. Army soldiers joke about "the Army didn't issue your family," which I've found sad in the 28 years I served. I believe family is everything, and unhappy household (spouse/kids), make for an unhappy soldier. An unhappy solider could potentially let their guard down when needed to defend our Country. My ex husband and I both started as Army privates the same year, when I made Sergeant First Class, and completed my bachelors going to night school, I chose to go to OCS (Officers Candidate School). I really was hoping my then husband would go to college and OCS for benefit of our family, but he was happy where he was at, and I wanted more. My ex husband is a southern boy all around, and so was/is family, they looked down upon me for going to college and moving up in ranks above my husband - and so did by husband. I believe the Army makes it easy for soldiers to have affairs, because soldiers are sent months, and even years away from their spouse and families creating conditions for having affairs. Long story short my then Army Sergeant Major Husband, found himself a new love while deployed; we were married 18 years. Of course I blame myself - did I really need to be an officer - should I have gotten out the military to do more common jobs - did I really need to go to college? It is what it is now, I'm happy and I love my current husband very much, but I need to fix my not cooking for him? Back to the original question, again, soldiers need their families love and support, and too, families need their soldiers love and support.

Take care.
Shelly