Pranks and uncomfortable situations; What are your stories?

SGT Ronald Audas — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 16:44:17 -0500

After overseas deployment,I had @5 months left in service.When checking in at Ft.Hood,the Company Commander informed me that the soldiers were in the field and would be for 3 days.I was told to go through the barracks and inform every one I see,to get a haircut.It didn`t take long to figure the CC was probably rolling on the floor laughing.Everyone left was a returning Vietnam veteran with less than 72 hours left in the Army.Needless to say ,I didn`t receive many hugs that day.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 5:58 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 17:58:57 -0500

That's a good one, SGT Ronald Audas! There are many good examples of "new guy" pranks. When I first reported to the 82d Airborne Division (my first permanent duty assignment) in 1975, I got some of that. My squad leader told me to check with the supply sergeant about a key to area 17. The supply sergeant sent me to the training sergeant ... and so on, and so on ... until someone finally told me that I was being pranked.

Yours is a good story, though. Thanks for sharing it.

Response by SGT Jim Z. made Feb 3 at 2015 6:07 PM

SGT Jim Z. — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 18:07:19 -0500

I once sent a private on a mission to get this new form TREE. After about 30 minutes they came back saying they could not find the form. I said that's okay I have it here and pulled a piece of paper out of the drawer.

Response by MSgt Michael Durkee made Feb 4 at 2015 7:47 AM

MSgt Michael Durkee — Wed, 04 Feb 2015 07:47:15 -0500

The newbie pranks are usually a good time as long as they don't get malicious and border hazing. It's an opportunity for what would hopefully be a good Military story to share as their career progresses.
Get me a 1,000FT of Flightline or a couple gallons of propwash.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 4 at 2015 8:52 AM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Wed, 04 Feb 2015 08:52:51 -0500

After check, we're generally sent to Comm (S6) to check out a PRC E-6

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 14 at 2015 5:58 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 14 Feb 2015 17:58:55 -0500

When I was mobilized, we had a HILARIOUS prank war going on.

Among the things that I've done.
1.) I went to UHaul and purchased the saran wrap used to hold down moving supplies and proceeded to use 2/3 of a roll on our MAJ's van. Then secured it using packing tape (1 roll).
---MAJ S. had a great sense of humor about it and created an OPORD to celebrate the victory of "Operation Punk the Doc"

2.) We lined the cubicle of one of my Soldiers in post it notes.
---Ironically, this pissed off one of our E-7s who thought I was using government supplies, and tried to lecture me on the "appearance of unprofessionalism and the wasteful use of government supplies". I informed him that I had ordered $15 in post it notes and had donated the remaining 3 post-it note pads to our department, resulting in a net profit of $4. Additionally, all resources were performed outside of the duty day and performed in a manner that would not adversely affect productivity.

3.) I tagged our receptionist by wrapping her entire desk area in tin foil, forming the chair and everything. That was a pain in the ass. But so fun.

4.) Our LTC received the "slow burn". I rearranged the keys on his keyboard, as he had locked his office and said "You can't outfox the fox". So I rearranged the keys to say "Gotcha Fox, JD Butler" (my nickname). I took his regular mouse and left him with a bedazzled pink mouse with a blue light, and stole all of his pens except a bedazzled pen. Pink fuzzy slippers were placed under his desk. He noticed all except the keyboard...which he found out 4 hours later.

5.) Our CPT (my OIC) was the brunt of our most expensive and most contributing prank. We ran a "food drive" as he's always trying to help people out. So we all went to Sams Club and other places to buy canned goods. All in all the department raised $250 in canned goods and created a 4 foot x 5 foot x 2 cans deep wall of food. he had to climb over his desk to get in.

6.) Someone that I KNEW wouldn't get offended received my "meanest" prank. I unloaded a couple bags of confetti into the car, including two small bags into the AC vent. If you do this one, be VERY sure that you know the person isn't going to get pissed off, because you will NEVER be rid of the confetti. 8 months later I got a text from her with a "confetti party hat" because it'd blown out just then. I then moved her car after obtaining her keys, saran wrapped it and taped it closed.

I had 2 pranks pulled on me. The first was confetti filled balloons lining my office. As such, I had to pull the balloons and hold them over the trash and then pop them one by one. Some random confetti I had to vacuum up....which I didn't mind.

The second prank DID piss me off. Someone had put Vaseline on the door handles to my car (aiight...whatever), but when I sat down in the car, I realized that they'd placed Vaseline on my wiper blades. This part upset me, as I did not want to lose visibility when driving. Nobody could get access to my vehicle, so the wipers weren't turned on, and I typically don't turn on my wipers for a light sprinkle.....so I didn't like that one.

All that being said, I had someone that created the ULTIMATE prank repertoire. He never was able to execute them, but had two genius plans. This was said MAJ from before that created the OPORD. After I pranked him, he teamed up with the LTC that I pranked to work on the ultimate planning venture.

Plan A: He spoke to our Dustoffs to have my vehicle slingloaded onto the roof of the pharmacy CONNEX. This wasn't able to be executed due to the costs of operating the helicopter and the risks of slingloading (even though they used a Bambi bucket routinely).

Plan B: He was going to speak to the engineers to get a forklift and move my car. From there it would be moved to a Bailey Bridge segment, floated to the middle of the lake, and had me LandNav out there where the entirety of the Medical Task Force would be waiting and cooking out (I was a 1LT at the time). I don't think I've laughed so hard at the ideas, even though he was unable to execute either idea.

Just a few of my examples.
v/r,
CPT Butler