PTSD: A condition or an identifier?

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 13:23:48 -0500

We have all been there - the anger, the hate, sorrow and depression, the frustration towards others who do not understand us, but is that fair? Who are we making responsible for our condition? Have we been left to deal with this condition ourselves, as many say? I think so, but I also think that it is often too easy to use this condition as an identifier as to what we are, not who we are.

I have been rated at 70% for PTSD as a combat vet. The following is how I see the way forward for me and I hope it will help some of you. Some of you may hate me for saying some of it, and I understand where you are coming from because I have been there too.

After a few suicide attempts (which were actually attention getting acts), I quickly realized that I am only hurting my possible future and myself if I keep wallowing in self-sorrow and hurt. I stopped looking at the photos of the past and identifying myself as a combat vet instead of Steven. I stopped hanging out only with vets who “understand me” because that was blocking my forward motion. I stopped walking around with a chip on my shoulder. But most importantly of all, I stopped blaming other people, the Army, and anything else for what I am because I knew I needed to work on who I am in order to get ahead, and that became my focus.

Don’t get me wrong, I have days where I could explode and sometimes do. I have days where getting out of bed to go to work is so painful and so pointless that I could easily just roll over and say, “screw it” but I don’t. I know that, if I did, it would be just the beginning of a long downhill spiral effect that would drive me back to where I came from. It would make it next to impossible to be productive for my family and my job, but most of all it would ruin my life. So in the end I have the choice.

I am not a doctor or a psychologist, I am only speaking my opinion but my advice to anyone fighting PTSD is the following: Never feel sorry for yourself. Anger towards others is a waste of time and energy. Looking back at what was, speaking about it every day, wearing the combat vet t-shirts - the constant reminder of “how good it was” - may make you feel better, but it makes your life a constant struggle.

Yes, civilians will never understand, but can you change that? No, so move on. You feel you got screwed over in the Army for this and that, but can you change it? No, so move on. The VA is not accepting your rating, not paying you, not believing you or whatever else, can you change it? Yes you can, but not with hate, anger, screaming or yelling.

Our society believes we are a danger. Some of us like that title – heck, some of us need that title because the military was all we may have ever had as far as an identity. We were special and now we are civilians and no one understands us, they just don’t know. That’s just it though, they don’t know, so either educate them in a meaningful manner or don’t hold it against them and move on. We won’t change anything by being angry and hurting ourselves, so let’s go and get our lives back!

As I was writing this article I actually got a call from my CEO stating that my obvious PTSD is a problem and they need to let me go. It goes without saying this shocked me, but did not surprise me. I am, therefore, positive this is simply a door that needed to close and I am looking with excitement into the future.

We dictate our own realities - no one else can or will really help us, only we can. So make the conscious decision and stand up, be that soldier, warrior and fighter you are and go for the gold. Don’t take no for an answer, accept nothing less from yourself than you expect from others. We can and will be successful, we will prevail, and not because of the stigma but despite the stigma!

Make your plan for life and follow it, set targets, goals, and benchmarks. It is time to stand up and take your life back. Don’t know where to start? Start within yourself and get the anger out. You’re not alone but remember, just complaining to another vet who tells his stories back to you is not going to help you no matter what all these “help sessions” may proclaim. If you feel it helps, then take a deep look at what exactly is being helped. It is probably the short-term frustration - you get to shout and get it out but that solves nothing. It is like getting revenge - it may make you feel better for a short time, but we all know it is wrong and you usually feel remorse afterwards.

So now how do you move forward? You want to yell at me? Write it down. You want to insult me? Go for it. Just know that I am here for you no matter what. If you truly wish to learn more about how to live with PTSD and function in society, I may be able to help. Your hate will only destroy you, not me or anyone else, so please refrain from the emotional explosions that I know all too well. I am writing this as an offer of help, in whatever way it may help, that’s it.

What are the biggest struggles you’ve faced while dealing with PTSD?

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2015 2:15 PM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 14:15:35 -0500

There is no known effective treatment, albeit some drugs suppress symptoms. New research is pointing towards teaching those with PTSD to learn to cope...the brain is possible to make new connections, ability to re-learn. I think treatment should be educational cognitive.

Response by PV2 Violet Case made Jan 7 at 2015 3:05 PM

PV2 Violet Case — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 15:05:45 -0500

I was not seeking help for PTSD did not even no it exited back in the day for me. But when I took an over dose of sleeping pills and was in a comma for 3 days that is not just a little cry for help. I did move forward and by the grace of God was finally able to have two beautiful daughters and nine grandchildren. It is sad that they all deal with the toxins I was exposed to that are genetic. But my daughters and grandchildren were proud that their grandma was in the military and one of the first women trained for front lines in 78. I too am proud of that accomplishment. Even threw being sick from toxins, PCBS, and this PTSD , surgeries and all this I did what I called soldiering up to life and what it had to throw at me each day. Until 3 yrs ago my health, spiraled down short term memory and all. I tried mind exercises and all. But to talk to another military person who understands and respects is a thing that helps hold me together. My last suicide attempt was 1986 with the sleeping pills.I now also have a United States Registered Service dog who understands me very well. We all joke that he understands english when I speak to him that they are shocked he can not write it. But when he nos my gerd and acid reflux in my stomach is acting up he demands to lay on my tummy since a small dog it is like a heating pad. He knows my tears and gives me hugs which is above what he was trained. So if I may suggest a service dog or even a dog that is well trained it helps me. My veteran friends in my hometown are great too. Respect is what people need and for someone to actually take the time to listen. My physical health is bad enough the VA said they can not believe I have lived this long. Do I blame for this? in some ways yes those toxins need to be kept in better watch and containment. My biggest concern I am already 100% because I showed symptoms when in the military connected to them. But what about the other veterans who did not show symptoms right away and are struggling like I have I understand it, my heart goes out to them because they do not get the help they deserve. Im also blessed that I have so many very good friends who understand when I get upset or am to sick to be out. I am not angry at you for standing up to help the ones you can. I pray you continue to find peace along with all those who suffer. I do crafts since to sick to work anymore physically, each person must find their own coping mechanisms.

Response by SPC Leisel Luman made Jan 7 at 2015 3:14 PM

SPC Leisel Luman — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 15:14:03 -0500

Great point.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made Jan 7 at 2015 6:28 PM

CPT Aaron Kletzing — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 18:28:29 -0500

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA -- wow, this was a moving piece to read. Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts with all of us on this critical topic for our military family.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Jan 7 at 2015 7:49 PM

CPT Jack Durish — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 19:49:13 -0500

I think that you have hit upon the best way to help yourself. With this posting you are helping others. Seems like a helluva good plan. Keep it up...

Response by 1SG Cameron M. Wesson made Jan 7 at 2015 10:19 PM

1SG Cameron M. Wesson — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 22:19:53 -0500

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA Steve,

Well said and thank you for sharing.

Cam

Response by SPC Steven Depuy made Jan 8 at 2015 12:10 PM

SPC Steven Depuy — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 12:10:01 -0500

My son has it bad, been two years since he got his discharge, still in the paperwork process with the VA. I have been very worried about him, his lack of ability to sleep well, panic attacks he goes through at various things that happen, suicide has certainly been one of my fears for him. Not sure what all the answers are, and how much help guys really get. I know the counseling he got when he got back from Iraq was just a bunch of officers with college degrees making some side money. Some of the stories he told me made me shudder. I guess some people don't think its real and that people are faking, and some of those are the counselors who are supposed to be helping them. At least his ear has stopped bleeding now, dont' think its happened since spring. There is some form of head damage he took in that IED hit for that to go on for 3-1/2 years after, but again, the Army medical system did nothing about it. So at this point, even with his 80% hearing loss on that side, the VA's response so far has been you have no case, your unit did not give you a class III physical when you ETS'd, and even though his medical records show this stuff for the last year and a half he was in, they have done nothing. He told me the unit asked him to waive his class III physical by the way, and that the VA would just do it. Since they told him if he did not, he would have to stay longer to ETS, who would not have waived it. I have met people in my life I felt faked stuff to get money, and they are out there. But there are also many who need help, and not getting any. As his father, not much I can really do about it. I try to encourage him to take some time off work and fight the system, but he has a screw this government, they don't want to help me, f them attitude.

Response by CPT Sarah Persinger made Jan 8 at 2015 12:55 PM

CPT Sarah Persinger — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 12:55:58 -0500

As a nurse, PTSD is both a condition and identifier. Working at a VA Hospital (prior) I made sure that I did not startle patients when waking them up or when they are coming out of anesthesia. I would also talk to them more - to make sure that they aren't feeling overwhelmed and/or forgotten. Some come in already depressed because their medical conditions are creating MORE medical issues - and they feel like they cannot win. Hospitals are a scary place!

Response by PO2 Frances Smart made Jan 8 at 2015 1:51 PM

PO2 Frances Smart — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 13:51:16 -0500

I have PTSD because of Military Sexual Trauma. I was repeatedly assaulted while on active duty, sometimes by supervisors, sometimes by dates, and sometimes because I was placed in a precarious situation with a coworker. This was an issue for women who served during the Cold War, and specifically during the rebuilding period of the 1980's, because the military was actively recruiting people who were facing prison time if they stayed on the outside. It has been tough for me to adjust. I already don't trust anyone, and then I've had VA counselors tell me that I was assaulted because I made "poor dating choices." I quit going for counseling through the VA system and sought a civilian counselor, and have had better success. One thing that I started doing that has really helped me deal with panic was to develop a flow chart in my mind that I use when the attacks start. I force myself to stop and ask, "Is there anything you can do right now to resolve whatever caused you to panic?" In other words, if it is something I forgot to do, I get up and go do whatever it was immediately. The panic stops. If it was an argument with someone I care about, I deliberately go against the instinct to run by going to the person and having a conversation. You get the idea. If there is nothing that can be done, I force myself to focus on my breathing until I can feel my heart slowing down and the adrenaline calming. All this takes discipline, but I was getting so little help from the system that I had to come up with something on my own that worked for me.

Response by PV2 Violet Case made Jan 8 at 2015 6:13 PM

PV2 Violet Case — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 18:13:27 -0500

I had also forgot to mention, my PTSD certain situations things would trigger it. There are a few I cant get worked out yet. 1. is a certain tones,loud noise and static. 2. I can not sit with my back to where there are strangers if I can sit in a corner with my back to the wall I am better and have been known to wait until those seats are available. Dates have a hard time with it sometimes. (I sometimes push others away from me so I can be alone) 3.Is confushion during a lot of noise and people.
But the best therapy I came up with was my own here at home, I call it Changing the Channel, no one knows us like we do. But some of the bad dreams sleeping or awake, I call it changing the channel. If I don't like horror playing I change the channel to try to find a comedy or romance in my mind. I also write poetry too and a friend is writing a book and wording things in for me about disabilities among people.

Response by SFC Donald West made Jan 9 at 2015 3:39 PM

SFC Donald West — Fri, 09 Jan 2015 15:39:13 -0500

I consider it a condition since it's an injury. My opinion only

Response by CMSgt Sal or Sam Rossi made Jan 9 at 2015 3:44 PM

CMSgt Sal or Sam Rossi — Fri, 09 Jan 2015 15:44:11 -0500

Eight years and still no answers, just more medication. I will like SFC James, but anyone who has combat PTSD should understand where I am coming from. Sleep is a precious gift, smiles and laughter, joy and happiness...I could go on.

I have a wonderful team of Doctors, but like me they don't know what is driving the depression, the nightmares, the everythings, but there is one who does and for me that is our God. For me, everyday is a battle, especially when one hits the endless fall and nothing matters anymore. Jesus and the Blessed Mother are very special to me.

I know an awful lot of coping skills, ACT, mindfulness and so on, but my mind still wants to trigger to the slightest sound, something out of place, vigiliance, and so on.

The power of prayer and knowing I am not alone is a great comfort, because it brings me back from where I do not want to go, especially to rage. Life is no walk in the park, even with God by my side, but it sure is a relief to know I am not alone and comforting help that comes from above is most welcoming.

Most people laugh at me and I have lost many friends, as they just laugh me off, but for me God is the key and my journey does not need to be side tracked by friends who just don't get it. Peace and love to all.

Response by SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA made Jan 10 at 2015 5:26 AM

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA — Sat, 10 Jan 2015 05:26:16 -0500

Thank you all for the many answers, comments and honesty, it goes to show that we in the military community are indeed a special breed!

Response by SMSgt Ds Martin made Jan 10 at 2015 6:42 PM

SMSgt Ds Martin — Sat, 10 Jan 2015 18:42:06 -0500

Mr. Kuhn, thanks very much for the post, as stated before you and others here brought out some outstanding points and good solid perspectives on how we can work toward living without being controlled by our condition(s) or history.

I know this part is a little off track, and I don't want to get too far into your 'kitchen', but being terminated simply for having PTSD or any other medical condition is clearly illegal in all 50 states and there are many good lawyers (yeah I know, that's an oxymoron) who can help you with that issue if you want to fight back. When one of us gets pushed around without consequence, we all suffer eventually.

Response by LCpl Kenneth Kirk made Jan 11 at 2015 11:09 AM

LCpl Kenneth Kirk — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 11:09:07 -0500

Thanks for your attempt to help, but your article reads to cliche. It is full of the things that people who don't have to struggle with PTSD say..."Just move on.", "Get over it.", "Attention getting."

I was in the Marine Corps, never in the Army, so I don't know from where you speak, but my Marine Corps is very Tribal. We ARE Brothers to the end. The only two places I can find peace is with them or my kids.

For me Survivor Guilt is the worse.

Good luck Brother, and thanks again for trying.

Argo Kirk

Response by SSgt Michael Smith made Jan 11 at 2015 1:26 PM

SSgt Michael Smith — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 13:26:55 -0500

My son is currently struggling with PTSD (USMC 0311) and we are waiting on an open bed in the VA program. Although I suspected he had some issues going back two years ago, I was unable to get him to open up. Even as his father, who was close and always involved in his life as well as being a veteran, it took a scary incident to lead him to ask for help. I have his six and so do our local VA providers.

Response by SFC Boots Attaway made Jan 11 at 2015 1:59 PM

SFC Boots Attaway — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 13:59:37 -0500

I have read that Cold War vets CAN NOT have PTS/PTSD especially NON combat arms. When I was with the Joint Security Force Co, Joint Security Area, UNC, Pan Mun Jom, S. Korea in the early 80s, we had commo people who had to go INTO the N. Korean area to check on agreed upon equipment EVERY day. They went in pairs UNARMED into their buildings out of our sight. Now tell me that will not cause PTS. Try being an admin person stuck north of the Im Jin River with the only bridge between you and safety being wired to blow if the north tried anything. Being north of that damn river meant that you were SACRIFICED in order to slow down the North Korean army. Being on a guard post INSIDE the DMZ hearing them talk about your wife/husband or boyfriend/girlfriend back home and what they were doing. I burned my letters so I would not hear my name. Try sleeping 2 days out of every 8 10 meters from the ACTUAL line between the north and south with a 23mm AAG pointing at your cinder block barracks. Please tell me that what I have described will NOT cause PTS/PTSD.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2015 3:09 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 15:09:54 -0500

Thank you for your story and I'm glad you are having some luck dealing with your issuses. But I believe some folks lose the total idea of what PTS/PTSD is and who it can affect. We are not all built the same so we all must deal in different ways. What works for some my not work for others. Stress from a traumatic event regardless if it is from combat or whatever can affect the mind in many ways. There are those that will never be able to leave the darkness behind. They just can't find anybody or anything that helps. I don't have the answers but only hope the best for anyone struggling.

Response by SGT Curtis Jackson made Jan 12 at 2015 4:47 PM

SGT Curtis Jackson — Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:47:17 -0500

Great post. I do had these problems and was in denial for a long time, The VA was no help. After years of drinking myself into submission almost every night and a few violent episodes, lost jobs and lost relationships. I met my current wife and agreed to seek help at her insistence( even though in my mind i did not have an issue). I started seeing a specialist at my own expense BC the VA had too long of a wait time. My wife and kids became my focus that helped pull me out of the downward spiral.
So I agree with you and well said.

Response by PO1 William Bargar made Jan 12 at 2015 8:08 PM

PO1 William Bargar — Mon, 12 Jan 2015 20:08:30 -0500

First off, let me say I am a 20+ year retired veteran (4yrs USMC 1978-1982 & 16 yrs Navy 1982-1998). With that said, I have been on three Persian Gulf cruises on board aircraft carriers. I know that is not direct combat, but at least I have spent sometime in "theatre" so I have some combat time in the Gulf. I am not too familiar with PTSD, I heard about it but as far as I know I do not suffer with it. I wish that there were more studies on PTSD and better treatments out there for those who suffer. But for every condition that exists there are ALWAYS those who try to get over on the system. PTSD is no exception. I wish all of the PTSD patients who claim that they have PTSD are legit, but I'm sure there are those malingerers or fakers. With that I wonder if there is any tests to eliminate those who claim they have PTSD but in fact are just looking for compensation? Until the VA comes up with a plan to make the system better there will always be a sense of skepticism. There will NEVER be 100% fail safe system, but it could be better and more fair for all. I have some disability through the VA, but I never try to get over on the system or claim things I do not have. I see others getting way more disability than I do who seem way more healthy than me. This is why I do not trust the VA disability system. I think it is skewed to those who know how to PLAY THE GAME. Aches & pains only when called to go to a VA appointment, then good to go all the rest of the time. "Fair & balanced"? I think not..........

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Jan 13 at 2015 12:19 PM

PO1 Donald Hammond — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 12:19:33 -0500

You say that civilians will never understand but that is not right. There are more causes of PTSD than combat. Sexual assault is up there in numbers. Do you understand those victims? Don't be so dismissive of those civilians who you think don't understand you.

There are also military vets who did not see actual combat but due to the nature of their jobs have similar symptoms such as submariners. Being on alert ALL the time, constant sleep interruptions, drills, sneaking around knowing at any second you could be required to blow the world up with missiles .... yeh. I even had a flashback 25 years after getting out of the Navy. Freaked me right out.

Anyway, many people suffer from PTSD who have not seen direct combat. Your situation is understood by them. And it takes putting one foot in front of the other day after day.

Response by PO1 Glenn Boucher made Jan 13 at 2015 12:20 PM

PO1 Glenn Boucher — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 12:20:56 -0500

I agree, I am a 24 year Navy veteran, 1980 to 2004, served onboard several different ships and have been to combat zones although never directly in combat.
PTSD from what I understand of it affects those directly involved in close quarters combat. I do think though, in my opinion, that any service member can suffer PTSD because of our unique occupation. The only jobs in the civilian sector that come close to the stress of the military are police, fire fighters, nurses, doctors and other first responders.
For myself I suffered a TBI onboard ship and even though at the time all tests came back good.
After I retired and started doing the VA disability claim nightmare was I told that TBI can lead to some issues like PTSD years later or even never.
I hope that between the VA and private, college or corporate researchers that they can find some better answers to help those veterans in need.

Response by SGT Charles Vernier made Jan 13 at 2015 1:40 PM

SGT Charles Vernier — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:40:57 -0500

Post Traumatic Stress is the result of being exposed to an event or series of events that are traumatic to those exposed. My experience with this comes from my time in Law Enforcement (MP and Civilian) and also from the experience of working as an EMT for a volunteer fire department. The traumatic experiences for me involved the death of children. I had a hard time accepting and it weighed on me heavily, especially when it was child know to me (a friend to my children). I suffer flashbacks, nightmares, and a myriad of emotions that go with it. The emotions and physical manifestations are similar among combat veterans, first responders, victims of sexual assault, etc.. it is a condition, but some use it as an identifier both from the perspective of those suffering who may need to know they have support, to those who see it as "dangerous" condition. It almost cost me my life (by my own hand), but fortunately I have found ways to manage it, and lead a productive life.

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Jan 13 at 2015 11:31 PM

SFC Collin McMillion — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 23:31:16 -0500

I am rated 100% for PTSD, and I agree with you all the way. After having spent a year on a phsy unit, I finally met a Dr. who helped me move beyond "me". There is.life out here and I want to enjoy it, sometimes it isn't easy, like you said, but what's behind me is in the history books and I want it to stay there. I want to live for the future, not the past as I did for so many wasted years.

Response by CPL Morgan Northrup made Jan 14 at 2015 8:05 PM

CPL Morgan Northrup — Wed, 14 Jan 2015 20:05:58 -0500

I Have been diathh PTSD as well. I have also found it very difficult to maintain jobs and have been called out for PTSD issues on the job and I have been fired as a result. I'm finding it harder and harder to find good jobs because since I've been out I have had over 15 jobs. I get so depressed at times because I can't function In society. I unfortunately have not had the aha moment like this writer. I know that when I don't work depression and anxiety are much worse for me. I am currently unemployed and although my VA disability check is helping I still feel that I need to work. I wish that it was easier to get counseling outside of the Va.

Response by MSG William Wold made Jan 14 at 2015 11:49 PM

MSG William Wold — Wed, 14 Jan 2015 23:49:31 -0500

Been there , got the shirt.
Well, If I didn't know better, it sounds you've got it figured out so your self healed, right?. Perhaps now you should be re-evaluated and the percentage dropped, so they can free some of that money to help people that have worse injuries like missing limbs, eyes, skin.
I say that because I'm at 50% PTSD. I didn't get any higher because I only tried to commit suicide once, and that wasn't enough for the criteria. I didn't claim that when I do try to commit suicide I want to take several people with me. I wasn't coached on what to say or how to react like I know some have during the interview stage of awards to add a little edge to it. I just answered the questions how I felt when I was asked.
For years, I'd get up to the bathroom, if I "accidently" turned left out of the bathroom, I was up, and I could sort of function during the day. But if I turned right, back to bed, no one saw me that day, and that could be days at a time.. In and out of panic attacks.
Three incidents come to mind. First one was the 10th day in country in Vietnam..
Second was when Hill 331 was hit.
Third was finding out a lifelong friend was just two hours away in country and being KIA just an hour before we were supposed to meet up.
This was all buried till 1991. Out on a partly foggy before daylight fishing opening day boating excursion with 3 of my children, a helicopter flies over the lake about 200 feet up. Wham! It woke up.. Big time ..There I was.. It wasn't pretty..
I saw some civilian counseling that suggested I go give VA a visit. I did, but couldn't stand there in line before the desk, among the people with missing limbs, eyes, skin, and other things. So I was able to burry it after a few months.. For a while anyway..
2001, with 9/11 it reared it's ugly head again, and a son deployed. This time with a separation and pending divorce, and some more information, I put in a claim. I had a 2 inch thick portfolio, pictures, statements, witnesses..
Was sent to one of their counselor who spent 5 minutes reading my claim after I went in the room, turned and said, where ya been? Prescribed some meds to get the edge off which helped, but I'm not one to like being dependent on a drug..
So out of that came 50%, 3 years after filing a claim and 3 weeks before the 29 year marriage divorce was finale. She got 50% of any and all current and future retirements, House, best vehicle. plus 50% of any and all earned income from employment until retirement starts. I got the unpaid bills..
Delima, I was still in the Reserves, and well I instantly became non deployable and discharged/retired and being in a dual status position, I'm loosing my "civilian" livelihood. Well a loop hole allowed me to retire also on regular, though greatly reduced, civil service retirement..
Ironically later on it was determined that one of my triggers was being exposed at the worksite to the very equipment that the incident (s) occurred around. So I all these years I was "re-infecting" myself every day going to work and not even knowing why the hair on the back of my neck tingled when I'd climb inside one of those machines.
Since then, Living 5 years single, with a friend who is 100%, I had to get out of there; and people thought I was weird..
I moved to Oregon to get a state away, all adult kids I'm in weekly contact with and I have several grandchildren to spoil.
I even met a wonderful woman and I recently remarried.
Oh yeah, still have issues, but she is an RN trauma nurse, and so far I haven't shone her anything that she can't handle. What a strong and sturdy woman. A good cook, And a redhead at that! She has 6 adult sons, three have been in the military and one is still an officer in the Air Force.
I check in with a VA counselor once every few months, IE: how's the meds doing, adjust if necessary, anything to talk about, any incidents, yada yada yada... It's working for me, but that's me.. Things are possible, except wife says I can't have my motorcycle back.. Now That sucks.. Maybe a trike?

Response by PO2 Frances Smart made Jan 15 at 2015 2:04 AM

PO2 Frances Smart — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 02:04:03 -0500

I have been doing a lot of reading lately which states that scientists and researchers are discovering that most people who get PTSD are people whose memories work too well. In other words, most people who have a bad experience can put that experience behind them, push it to the back of their mind, and move on. They eventually stop being affected by it. But those of us who get PTSD, they say, are the ones who have difficulty forgetting what we should be forgetting, and remembering what we should be remembering. I'm not sure how true this is, and I would love to see some data as to which came first, the PTSD or the memory problem, but it is most certainly an interesting idea. Here is an article from Psychology Today about the subject:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/eyes-the-brain/201103/memory-the-amygdala-and-ptsd-0

Memory, the Amygdala, and PTSD.

The fine line between remembering too much and too little.

Response by 1LT David Moeglein made Jan 15 at 2015 7:06 PM

1LT David Moeglein — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 19:06:23 -0500

PTSD is what we choose it to be. I do not remember a time that I didn't have the signs and symptoms of PTSD. I grew up in an alcoholic family, and was sexually abused as a boy.

I have made the treatment of persons with various mental disorders my life work. I treat a significant number of trauma survivors. When I am doing therapy with my clients, I benefit. When I am not doing therapy, and get assigned administrative tasks, life is not the same.

I typically use a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) approach to treatment. When we change our thinking, our behavior, feelings, and life change as well. In newer CBT therapies, there is a tradition of mindfulness. Mindfulness is moment to moment awareness with mercy and compassion, or you could say that it is without judgement.

One mindfulness exercise that I use comes from a series of exercises called Bal-A-Vis-X. With sand bags and racquetballs, I walk clients through a series of movements with their hands and feet. It is one of the most effective things that I do to treat emotional dysregulation. I cannot call myself a Bal-A-Vis-X trainer, so I call it CBT mindfulness with rhythm and motion. For those of us who have been impacted by trauma, and exhibit symptoms of PTSD, our rhythm and motion has been taken from us. By doing Bal-A-Vis-X exercises, I restore my rhythm and motion.

Another thing that helps me is proper nutrition. By finding a number of nutritional supplements and naturopathic remedies that my body likes, I am able to effectively manage my mental illness. Chiropractic has also helped.

There are times where I forget that I have PTSD. This is when I am managing my mental illness well. These periods of time can go for a significant period of time. If I am able to manage my mental health symptoms with nutrition and mindful living, do I really have PTSD?

I use the DSM to diagnose clients on a regular basis. Since reading this question, I ran myself through the diagnostic criteria again, and behold... PTSD my friend is still there.

This constellation of symptoms has made me human, but it does not define me. My strengths far outweigh the limitations it has on my life. Like the thorn in the lion's paw, it magnifies my humanity, and helps me to connect with others on an authentic level.

Response by SGT John Rice made Jan 16 at 2015 10:40 PM

SGT John Rice — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 22:40:04 -0500

In a lot of ways PTSD is both a condition and an identifier. I have lived with it for decades. I can really no longer function in crowded public areas like I used to. To the ones who do know suffer from any form of it and especially if they are civilians, it is pretty much an identifier. Those that have been in the Service recognize that it is more than an identifier. It is a condition that can often not be noticed unless you know what signs to look for. Before going in I really never understood when people talked about the 1000 yard stare. Now, I can very often spot another vet by that strange look or glint in their eyes. I have met some really fine people that way. It can be controlled if you have learned what your triggers are, and have help of family who, also, know the triggers and what signs to look for. I see a psych at the VA, but he is one of many that I have seen. Some good, some bad. After all they are just humans as well. Lol, I actually had one that told me to my face that what I needed was to go back to war any way I could. What he did not understand was that I am at war. Everyday I fight to control my emotions and reactions. I fight every minute with those dang annoying voices deep in my thought processes that urge me to just go ahead and end it all. When I first got out if I saw someone wearing islamic style clothing, I had to fight not to destroy them. That has finally found an end at least for now. I do not know if it is gone forever since I am not gifted with the ability to see the future. That is one that I do not want in the least. Brother and Sister Vets, just know that you have a choice. It is not an easy one to say the least, but you do have one. It is up to you as to whether you or the PTSD is in charge of your life.

Response by Cpl Patrik Bernard made Jan 17 at 2015 7:49 PM

Cpl Patrik Bernard — Sat, 17 Jan 2015 19:49:11 -0500

That's it!

Response by CPL David Riopelle Spencer made Jan 19 at 2015 8:01 PM

CPL David Riopelle Spencer — Mon, 19 Jan 2015 20:01:46 -0500

Powerful post Steven. I've made most of my life private from getting burned on Facebook and for fears of retaliation from my own words. I'll comment by saying this, WE are responsible for our own actions. Anger is a common thread that binds us, PTSD sufferers together. Social media is great but its bad. We post our feelings and it doesn't go away. It's subject to review by the powers that be at any time they want to pull it out. I pray for all of us and hope we can find peace whatever it may be in our lives.

Response by SGT Marika Waiters made Jan 21 at 2015 3:06 PM

SGT Marika Waiters — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 15:06:14 -0500

This is a great article. I think the only thing you left out is that forbidden word: help. If you're having a hard enough time that talking, venting, etc doesn't help, it's time to ask for help. All of us are programed to suck it up, drive on; help us for the weak, blah, blah, blah. Help us for those strong enough to ask for it. Believe me, I had a (and still have) a really hard time with this myself. I finally went to a vet center (separate from the VAMC) & got a therapist. I've never been so thankful for another human being. My therapist probably saved my life. So I'm challenging you: ask for help. Btw, Steven, thanks for this article, it is spot on!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2015 2:14 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 14:14:38 -0500

I think the term PTSD is an interesting word. Is it accurate? "Post traumatic stress disorder'' How can something that we are told happens with everyone that has a traumatic experience be called a disorder? I can certainly see how it can be said that someone has undergone traumatic stress or even post traumatic stress, but to call it a disorder is a bit bizarre.

Some do not handle the stress very well, but I feel that some segments of our society feel a need to 'victimize' soldiers. Unfortunately I believe some soldiers for various personal reasons or quirks buy into this victimization. Has combat changed my friends and me? Sure it has, just like every other significant experience in my life. Has it turned people I know into Hollywood 'John Rambo' caricatures . . . no. It is a trope that people who despise military service have put forward because (unlike the 1960s) it is unfashionable to be hostile to us.

Like Lisa W. says, "Civilians can face it . . ." First responders see death all the time, but they are not coddled and given knowing nods that say, "its ok that guy is a jerk . . . he's got PTSD from Iraq." Every soldier that I have run into that is a jerk following combat was a jerk before he was in combat. Every soldier that I have run into that is a trouble maker after combat, was either a trouble maker before combat or they were borderline cases.

Does PTS cause hyper-vigilance and amplify the startle reflex? Sure. Can you live with that? Easily. Does PTS cause depression and sometimes suicide? Sure it does. Should soldiers make sure their friends talk to someone for it? I hope they do, I know I do. Hospital records record very high rates of suicide in veterans following the Civil War. If you are depressed its ok to see someone for it . . . you should see someone for it. Does it make people shoot up their neighborhood or kill their families? No it doesn't, don't let others scare your relatives and neighbors with that line of B.S. Many people do that sort of thing across the U.S. and they never served. It is grotesque that when those crimes are committed by a veteran how quickly that is touted out with raised eyebrows and knowing glances.

Don't buy into the victimization that some people are selling. And do not tolerate your peers and subordinates using that to excuse their irresponsible behavior. They used to spit on people like us, now they are patting us on the head and saying "there there, its ok, the military made you crazy." Divorce, death of a family member, and loss of a job can cause depression and are good reasons for seeing a professional. Combat experience should not be any different, depression is not abnormal and is very treatable, see someone.

Don't let anyone make you a victim. How can we be victims when we are volunteers?

Response by PFC Amy Rogers made Jan 27 at 2015 8:41 PM

PFC Amy Rogers — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 20:41:14 -0500

I have suffered from PTSD long before I joined the Military but never mentioned it. I was sexually abused by a family member and just hid it away in my head..When I joined the Army and I was severely injured and was discharged honorably my PTSD was worse. I have been under the influence of 3 types of medications and still am. I feel like there is no real help. They just medicate you and talk and send you on your way. Where I live there is no help for veterans especially females.

Response by MSG Floyd Williams made Jan 29 at 2015 9:34 AM

MSG Floyd Williams — Thu, 29 Jan 2015 09:34:12 -0500

PTSD is a name given to a mental disorder related to some type of military trauma, "shell shock" is replaced with PTSD only a name for a mental condition.

Response by SSG William Patton made Feb 3 at 2015 12:24 PM

SSG William Patton — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 12:24:54 -0500

PTSD has been classified as a disorder by the shrinks and can appear in both military and civilians. The differences are subtle but in my opinion, those who have served in combat and experienced multiple incidents of trauma are more susceptible to PTSD and the disorder can be more severe and last much longer, a life time, without treatment. Even then, treatment may not work for service members. I know many of my brothers and sisters who served in Vietnam have the disorder and it has impacted their entire lives. Most of us have not sought treatment for a variety of reasons. I can say my PTSD is not as severe as it was when I first returned from Vietnam, but it is nevertheless, still with me. I will say that as I age, the symptoms seem to be more frequent that they were for a 25 year period in my life. I have learned to cope and I talk to other buddies who have similar experiences and that helps me cope.

Response by SSG William Patton made Feb 3 at 2015 12:36 PM

SSG William Patton — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 12:36:23 -0500

Steven, I hear you brother and agree with just about all you said. However, understand that not all who experience PTSD have the will or the wherewithall to overcome their disorder without help. Each person will view the same experience differently and then deal with it individually to try and make sense of their experience. Some will not be affected, while others will be devastated by the same event. The same holds true for how we deal with our feelings on the event and how it has impacted our lives. PTSD can have a cumulative affect. WWII military personnel did not see the level of combat that our armies have seen beginning with Korea. This is even more true of the army of today where multiple deployments have become the norm. This cumulative affect is illustrated by the number of suicides we are seeing in both active duty and veteran populations. If you are experiencing difficulty with PTSD and it is affecting you detrimentally, then seek help, professional help, before it is too late.

Response by MSgt Tim Craig made Feb 3 at 2015 11:52 PM

MSgt Tim Craig — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 23:52:01 -0500

BOTH and hazards with identifying and treating it; I personally am still working at moving forward...it is a tough uphill battle.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 10:24 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 10:24:36 -0500

I have a question, why is it that so many vets that served in OIF/OEF or even Desert Storm have PTSD, when the vets from the Vietnam war have so few cases? Is it because of values we hold close and belief in what we are fighting for? Remember, that Vietnam war vets have spent may years being tortured before coming back to America.

Response by MSgt Gary Hinkelman made Feb 9 at 2015 1:32 PM

MSgt Gary Hinkelman — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 13:32:31 -0500

What a great posting, advice, and offering of help. I too an willing to let anyone talk, voice, and or share their pain.

PTSD is not a military exclusive topic. I am a veteran, though was diagnosed with PTSD since age 13.

Everyone here have stories and experiences. Do not hide from them.

Thank you Gary

Response by SPC Michael King made Feb 9 at 2015 2:51 PM

SPC Michael King — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 14:51:34 -0500

I know I'm late to this article, but honestly I think this is sheer genius. I wish you were in the Seattle area so that I could invite you to the premiere of my short film Alive which shows a soldier going through the process you so vividly described. I was wondering if I could use this article on my website or facebook page? (Giving you full credit of course.) Please let me know.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 3:47 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 15:47:40 -0500

I was diagnosed with PTSD(70%) in 2001 after working for over 30 years at the same job. I worked shift work at a chemical plant. During those 30 years I drank a lot, I smoked a lot, and I was mad and mean a lot. I had heard about PTSD but that didn't include me. I was leading a normal life after Vietnam (1966-1967 ), even though I cried a lot, had nightmares, and as I mentioned, I was mean. My kids used to call me sarge because of the way I treated them. I have a beautiful, caring wife who hung in with me despite the way I acted and treated her. The only time I was happy was when I was at work or drunk. In 2001 another company bought the plant I worked at and immediately began talking about cutting back on employees by letting senior employees go and hiring contractors. We had bought a new house and a new car and when they began pressing the issue, I had a total and complete meltdown at work. I began destroying things and knocking over wall lockers and yelling and screaming. I was so bad, and the employee manager was so afraid of me, he called my wife to come out. I was broken, mentally, physically, and emotionally. My wife worked as a flight attendant and was gone a lot. One night I overdossed, trying to kill myself. I guess God was with me because my wife's flight was cancelled and she came home early. My heart had stopped beating and I was turning blue when she walked in on me. She called 911, which was a fire station a minute from us. They brought me back and when I woke up I was in a hospital psychic ward. A friend of mine, also a vet, came to see me and told my wife after I got out he would come and get me and take me to the VA here in Houstion. I got assigned a mental health doctor, and had to attend PTSD classes for six months. I quit drinking because I wanted the meds to work and they won't if you drink a lot. After about nine months, I was given 70% disability and permanent and total unemployable. I take 13 meds. Some are for days, some are for nights to help me sleep. We still live in the house we bought before I went psycho, been married 39 years, and my kids understand and love me me. In 1994 one of my sons was killed in a car wreck. In 1996 our house burned down. Because I wasn't on treatment then, I really began drinking all the time until my breakdown. I still get sad, still have flash backs, get angry, but my medicine (which I hate to have to take), works. I know it works or I wouldn't be sitting here writing this and being able to think. All I can advise is, have a support group, don't drink, take your meds, make your VA appointments, and go back to a group therapy session at the VA. I call it a tune up and it really helps. God Bless and if you have it, get HELP !

Response by LTC William Bridgeman made Feb 9 at 2015 4:07 PM

LTC William Bridgeman — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:07:52 -0500

When I think of PTSD, I think of our ancestors who experienced days of vicious combat at places like Antietam, Gettysburg, or Chickamauga. But, they didn't experience only days; they experienced four solid years of it! They certainly must have been made of sterner stuff than we are today else the hundreds of thousands of them would have been turned into blithering idiots.

Response by SPC James Rafferty made Feb 9 at 2015 5:33 PM

SPC James Rafferty — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 17:33:01 -0500

Although I Love your outlook on ptsd, I believe that you should be sing your former CEO for letting you go because of your ptsd. That is against the law. Now after voicing my opinion on your former CEO's decision. I am very proud to say that I also have a positive outlook. I to was rated 70% for ptsd by the va. Thank you food you're inspiring words battle.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 7:57 PM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 09 Feb 2015 19:57:10 -0500

I have been told by a few older vets as well as my wife, who has a physc degree, that I have ptsd. Now I couldn't tell you if I do or not all I can really say is to find a support system that works for you. Now for me when I start having trouble sleeping or having nightmares, cold sweats or the like that I get from time to time my only real support system that I know of is sitting by myself loosing myself in a game or something. Never really talk about my service except to a few people that are close to me that have served. But that doesnt mean that I dont have my demons. I just wish I could really tell and see it with my own eyes if this is what I am going thru or not

Response by Cpl Clinton Britt made Feb 10 at 2015 8:00 AM

Cpl Clinton Britt — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 08:00:54 -0500

I have a 70% rating of PTSD as well. Lawn Care is my therapy. I don't have many friends but the ones that I do have are Veterans. As Veterans ot is our responsibilty to help each other and support each other.

To me, not associating with you Vet Friends is just plain wrong.

The future is what you as a person makes of it. My family keeps me?going having a Autistic son and a wife that has many disabilities, I do believe I am holding it together but barely.

I have a lot of alone time as well

My Fellow Veterans that live my SubDivision, we understand each other and are there for each other if we need to talk.

You always need that because Civilians do not understand

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 11:56 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 23:56:49 -0500

Very well said. 20 years of this and I finally feel that I am getting a better hold of this.

Thank you very much for sharing.

Response by Pvt Richard Hy made Feb 11 at 2015 1:26 PM

Pvt Richard Hy — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 13:26:02 -0500

Consider this a PSA... happened to channel surf 10/02/15 and came upon OANN (One America News Network) and the host , Rick Amato, was interviewing a doctor and a combat veteran about new treatment for PTSD referred as MRT ( magnetic Resonance Therapy).
The Vet stated he had been undergoing traditional treatment/counseling for 8 years and after 2 weeks of this new MRT he was way closer to normal than all previous methods. The Dr. stated the treatment is FREE for vets and currently only being given in Newport Beach California site, but they expect a full roll out in 2016 of the program with more facilities available. Currently they have 5 slots/month available with 4-5 month backlog.
More can be found at http://www.braintreatmentcenter.com/ptsd/tbi.html
BTC Brain Treatment Center - USC Center For Neurorestoration....... braintreatmentcenter.com

I hope this is helpful to all in need.

Brain Treatment Center - Not Found

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Feb 11 at 2015 5:03 PM

SFC Collin McMillion — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 17:03:58 -0500

I want to make a repose to this post. This will probably be my last post on RP, as I am tired of the way people just jump in and cause arguments or vote others down because of political, racist, religious, etc. views, not because they have a valid point to express in disagrement, anyway. PTSD is a condition to me, I don't want to be identified by it. My many years of struggle and trying to find ways to deal with it and avoid or recognize potential situations or triggers is a never ending process. To me it is a "brain disease" there to stay, so therefore a condition. I have experienced many so-called cures, but realisticly there are none. I go day to day and through other's support and knowledge keep it for the most part from hitting that never return stress level. Our hope lies in others as well as ourselves.

Response by PO3 Aaron Hassay made Feb 12 at 2015 4:41 AM

PO3 Aaron Hassay — Thu, 12 Feb 2015 04:41:39 -0500

Does anyone have an opinion on the differences of PTSD or any other mental issues between 1. Assault Sexual Physical Mental service member on service member especially from senior to junior who feels trapped and can not remove him or herself from the situation in any meaningful way on a ship in the desert etc...2. PTSD from combat theathre otherwise you were well received and accepted by your squad team LT brigade division department...

Response by SSG Kevin McCulley made Feb 13 at 2015 7:16 PM

SSG Kevin McCulley — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 19:16:30 -0500

My biggest struggle is the knowledge that I'll die alone the corner of some VA hospital.. I'm 33 and that's all I really feel I have to look forward too...

Response by PO3 Aaron Hassay made Feb 15 at 2015 4:33 AM

PO3 Aaron Hassay — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 04:33:25 -0500

Personally, I think PTSD is in general, similar expectations of what would happen, if you took an otherwise, normal healthy puppy dog, and did 1 or more of these things to it, as its owner that it is reliant on, or got to know and trust somehow.

You start kicking the dog for no reason.
You chain it to a fence with a muzzle and scream at it or throw crap at it.
You make the puppy dog do tortuous things in training to the point of complete failure of exhaustion and repeat this scenario regulary and irregularly and when the dog shows signs of weakness you ignore it or tell it to toughen up and or give it small breaks and repeat the scenario again
You make it fight other big dogs for fun to death or bloody is the only way out, how ever long, you the owner believe is proper amount of time, and you don't converse with the dog or really show it any emotion
You take other dogs around it and injure them or worse and make sure the dog sees it

I am sure that the dogs outcome is not going to be all that good when this is done and repeated.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 15 at 2015 10:40 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 15 Feb 2015 22:40:46 -0500

I also have it and take some medication to help when I am off of it not violent or anything nor do I want to hurt my self but it helps me keep a filter on things that I say when I first came home I had no filter at all it was not a good thing plus it helps me concentrate better as well.

Response by CPL Aaron Cottingham made Feb 16 at 2015 1:16 AM

CPL Aaron Cottingham — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 01:16:01 -0500

Well, where does one begin. The truth perhaps. It was my PTSD that had actually brought me to looking inside, rather than only ever looking at the cover. I was referred to this site by a buddy, who is not a military man but more a concerned friend of mine, of me. Like most have already stated, the only way to take care of military matters is to go to a military venue. These are the people I can talk to, and these are the only people I know understand me. I have been on here for about 3 days, I can assure you only a handful of actual face to face friends know I have PTSD, and I can promise you they never were told this quickly. I know there is conflict on here of a multitude of sorts, there always will be it's human nature, but I always saw that in the Company area, so seeing it on here is an actual relief. Seeing service personnel be service personnel; brings those sensations back, and make me feel like I am at home, I am safe and everything will be OK.

Response by Capt Lance Gallardo made Feb 17 at 2015 11:52 AM

Capt Lance Gallardo — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 11:52:18 -0500

There has been a collective effort in Germany to try to spin their history into a narrative, that lets most Germans off the hook for the Nazis and Hitler. There is more recent research that shows that ordinary Germans (as opposed to highly Doctrinated and core Nazi Units, such as the SS, SA, SD or the Gestapo), Police Battalions and ordinary Germans, and local German local Politicians (like the local Burgermeister) were directly complicit in turning in and rounding up German Jews, and also involved in "liquidation" (mass murder of Jews), in Poland, the Ukraine and other occupied countries.
http://www.amazon.com/Ordinary-Men-Christopher-R-Browning-ebook/dp/B00BS8C13W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid= [login to see] &sr=8-1&keywords=german+police+battalions

http://www.amazon.com/Nazis-Next-Door-America-Hitlers-ebook/dp/B00HK3LRKW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid= [login to see] &sr=8-1&keywords=the+nazi+next+door

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Response by MCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 17 at 2015 4:32 PM

MCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 16:32:49 -0500

When I was teaching at the Air Force Senior NCO Academy, one of my students discussed her battle with PTSD.

It all stemmed from a deployment.

To Patrick AFB.

As an admin specialist.

And saw no combat, violence, or anything else.

Her entire claim was because she was "homesteaded" at Lackland and was separated from her kids for over a month due to this military 'deployment'. She also said that seven weeks at the SNCOA would get her rating boosted because of the hardship involved.

It's because of folks like THIS that many people with PTSD have problems. And before anyone asks, yes, I DID report her to command cadre, they notified her home command, and her home unit did nothing about it.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 17 at 2015 4:52 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 16:52:56 -0500

Here's the kicker for me. I have it. But I often hear stories from buddies of mine who were in things deeper and more harsh than I. So I tend to tell myself to pony up and quit bitching. I didn't have to dig up old graves with my bare hands. I didn't kick doors in. I didn't have to shoot at little kids because they left me no choice. My conditions weren't as hard as some others. So I tell myself that I shouldn't complain. I tell myself that I don't suffer. I don't deserve to take up the psychologists time. I bottle it up. Then I explode. I've come to the realization that people react differently. That I saw my share of shit. I'm an alpha male. King of my domain. A real bad ass. But what point do I draw the line and say, I'm really struggling with this. I luckily have no thoughts of suicide other than being a martyr and taking out an ass load of those jihad bastards with me when I go. But I don't want to off myself without a worthy cause. Some of my brothers and sisters are less fortunate. Some see no escape. And my heart breaks for them and their families. Ptsd is real. It always has been. We saw a flux of suicides after the Vietnam war. War is hell. There's no cure for visions of our war memories. There's only help coping. I hope you all find the help you need. I hope I do too.

Response by Capt Andrew Cosgrove made Feb 18 at 2015 1:20 PM

Capt Andrew Cosgrove — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 13:20:32 -0500

Wow. Thank you for writing this.

First off I am not a Psychological professional. I have studied psychology in college and am married to a mental health professional, but I myself am not one. I say this in the hopes to help some folks deal with those who have PTSD. I know a couple of dozen people (Vets, Cops, Firefighters, Dr.s, Missionaries, Aid Workers) who have some form of PTSD.

First, this is something that people CAN heal from. Maybe not completely for those with severe symptoms but if you have symptoms that prevent you from normal daily interaction you can get a heck of a lot better.

I have noticed that we as Americans look at people with mental health issues as "weak" or "defective." We pay lip service to not doing so, but society as a whole treats mental issues this way. As veterans we are taught that mental toughness is a trait to be striven for, therefore when a vet starts displaying these symptoms of PTSD he is now looked at as "not being tough enough" even though lip service is paid saying the opposite. The veteran himself sees it this way.

This is where the anger comes from. The inability to "tough it out." The simple fact is we as humans have different levels of capability to absorb psychological stresses. This has been the one thing that the American military has notoriously been bad at with regards to training people. The folks who are special ops, or other elite warriors receive this training and it is better than nothing, but it is still severely lacking in the general populace of Vets.

For those who don't suffer from PTSD I want you to ask yourself, how do you feel when you tell yourself that you can do something and do it well yet every time you do, the weasel at work is there pointing out some make believe mistake you made to the boss? It makes you angry right? Well what do you think happens when you eventually believe the class bully or the work weasel and start thinking that you are not good enough to do what you thought you could do? You aren't strong enough to be the person you set your whole identity on being?

Now have this constantly be at the back of your thought process with everything. There is going to be some mental anguish.

The only time I have seen sufferers of PTSD make it better is by accepting without judgement of themselves, that they are broken.

If people were animals, and if our worth to society were to be judged on our ability to climb trees, how do you think the Salmon would fare against the chimpanzee?

This is the crux of the issue. We identify ourselves as "X" because that is what society tells us. For Vets, that means you are strong, self reliant, don't ask for help, get the job done, take it on the chin for the team.

The problem is, society has no clue who vets are. When they see that they are people just like them, but have just experienced extraordinary circumstances, they don't know what to do. And in true human form if we don't understand something we either fear it or try to take it apart to see what makes it work.

My civilian experience has been very enlightening as it relates to businesses hiring vets. Every company will tell you they love vets, they love to have vets work for them. The issue is, that when a vet starts working there, and starts applying the decision making and pragmatism that served so well in the military, it threatens the status quo of the environment.

I experienced this first hand when I was working for a company at my first job out of the military. They made a big show of hiring vets. Yet when it came time for promotion it was explained to me that my insistence that we follow our warranty program for customers and customer service issues made me seem "too inflexible" to be an effective sales manager. I looked at the Plant Manager and told him I understood what he was saying I just couldn't believe that a guy with no leadership experience who had very low customer loyalty scores was being promoted over someone who had years of leadership experience with people, managing budgets and multi million dollar warehouses, as well as existing customers who actively sought out our products when they expanded their business even though we were the more expensive option.

He just blinked, smiled, and said "glad we understand each other."

That was when I truly understood the African Proverb: "Never expect the Lion not to eat you because you didn't eat him."

In my experience the people who suffer from PTSD who end up being the happiest, end up "Doing Their Own Deal." They start a business, or get super involved with helping others, or they somehow make a radical, life altering shift from what they were doing before. The Firefighter who becomes a missionary, the Cop who goes back to law school, the Vet who opens his own catering business. Radical change.

Changing how you judge your own worth is the key.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 13 at 2015 4:23 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 Mar 2015 16:23:05 -0400

I had a long drawn out reply but I am chickening out. I'll say the one thing I really wanted to say and that is thank you very much for sharing.

Response by CW4 Kevin Ballard made Apr 20 at 2015 7:01 PM

CW4 Kevin Ballard — Mon, 20 Apr 2015 19:01:12 -0400

I've spoken to many policy makers and psychiatric professionals...the "disorder" portion of PTS needs to be permanently removed.

Response by SPC Anne Miller made Apr 21 at 2015 1:08 PM

SPC Anne Miller — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 13:08:57 -0400

My PTSD was used against me in a custody case, resulting in my abusive ex (who is the sole cause of my condition) to be named domiciliary parent. I have not had my girls since July 2013 when he took them and never returned them to me. Because he has convinced so many I am just crazy, I can not get any help locally. He has even told them that it was just a delusion that I was ever in the Army, and they believed him. I experience extreme agoraphobia, panic attacks, and intrusive memories.

Response by SSG Michael Scott made Jul 21 at 2015 2:34 PM

SSG Michael Scott — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 14:34:34 -0400

It is both of them.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Jul 22 at 2015 8:01 AM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 08:01:43 -0400

PTSD is very real. I feel for those who suffer from this disorder and pray for all.

Response by SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA made Jul 22 at 2015 8:39 AM

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 08:39:11 -0400

This Thread is still going...a testament to the need for dialog and clarity in this matter.

Response by CDR Michael Goldschmidt made Jan 26 at 2016 8:30 PM

CDR Michael Goldschmidt — Tue, 26 Jan 2016 20:30:30 -0500

First, we have to admit there's a problem. Then, it takes many of us a long time to figure out what that problem is. Having a name for it is important, so we don't feel alone and we know that not just our attitudes but our bodies, our BRAIN CHEMISTRY, has changed.

That's not an excuse, it's just a fact. That's not to say we should let it get us down. We do, however, deserve to be gentle to ourselves and to be honest. We can still accomplish a lot. We can still have meaningful friendships, including with civilians, although, through no fault of their own, they can't understand us fully. We still have a lot to live and a lot to give.

Response by Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM made Feb 26 at 2016 11:20 AM

Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 11:20:50 -0500

As a Civilian Nurse, It has been my experience that PTSD is a condition. It is not an identifier as it is "something that happened to you." It ine you..does not defin

Response by SFC William Farrell made Mar 9 at 2016 3:10 AM

SFC William Farrell — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 03:10:23 -0500

Why would anyone hate you SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA. What you said was very informative, useful and i hope able to help many. I am sorry about you losing your job but i think you let what you are talking very intelligently about get in your way. Keep it going forward, control your anger and outbursts, do what you need to do to survive. I with you only success and happiness in what you do. You have earned that by serving our nation with honor.

Response by SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA made Mar 13 at 2017 4:03 PM

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 16:03:07 -0400

I just revisited this page after about a year, some great comments here! I hope you are all doing well!

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Mar 14 at 2017 5:25 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Tue, 14 Mar 2017 17:25:17 -0400

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR. PTSD is a Mental Disorder. A diagnosis of PTSD can be justification to remove you from your job or not hiring you in the first place

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made Mar 17 at 2017 7:07 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 19:07:34 -0400

Without PTSD who would I be

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made May 7 at 2017 6:36 PM

SFC Collin McMillion — Sun, 07 May 2017 18:36:21 -0400

We are all in this battle together, but we are not losing. With each other's help and understanding we will find our way through and just Maybe some day someone will find a way to diminish the problem. Another thing is, I do agree with you the way Rally Point is going down, that is why I am not on here as much as before. All the political, racial, hate, just to argue, put others down and separate our brotherhood has gotten to be too much. God bless you and all the best for you.

Response by 1SG Kristian Pedersen made May 15 at 2017 4:37 AM

1SG Kristian Pedersen — Mon, 15 May 2017 04:37:55 -0400

Some use it as an excuse to be qholes, which in turn denies those suffering the need3d treatment. I know od soldiers who were nothing but bin bunnies, they wsre on final approach th K-Har, never exp a mortar or rocket attack and took the free ride back under meds. Makes me sick

Response by SSG Edward Tilton made May 21 at 2017 12:06 PM

SSG Edward Tilton — Sun, 21 May 2017 12:06:04 -0400

Originally I was diagnosed by a a civilian hospital, before the VA or Army Compensated for it. I lost my job as a Police Officer because of it. At that time it was still special, at some point The VA was looking to reduce it's caseload and was awarding it to anyone who was in combat and many who were not. The rating dogged my employment for decades until I was finally retired from my employment (at the VA) because of it.

I know it effects my daily struggle and have learned to live with that. My complaint would be that there is a lot of anxiety diagnosed as PTSD that isn't It clogs up the treatment and leaves soldiers like me untreated

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Jul 7 at 2017 4:37 PM

SPC Margaret Higgins — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 16:37:41 -0400

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA: Thank you ever so kindly, Sergeant, for bringing up this very relevant subject.
PTSD does Not define me in any way; however, I especially have trouble with depression and anger.
HOW I PRAY for all of those service members who struggle with PTSD. (Active Duty, Veterans and Retirees)
-Most Sincerely, Margaret C. Higgins U.S. Army Retired: Coach/Photographer
P.S. Sergeant, this photograph is supposed to represent the blue, dark and gloomy way that I feel: when I am depressed.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Jul 7 at 2017 5:47 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Fri, 07 Jul 2017 17:47:46 -0400

I'm going to run with a condition.

Response by SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA made Jun 3 at 2018 5:53 PM

SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA — Sun, 03 Jun 2018 17:53:22 -0400

JUNE is PTSD awareness month.