What does the VA do to help spouses & children who have been traumatized through their soldier's PTSD?

The VA offers two programs* for Caregivers - The Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC) and the Program of General Caregiver Support Services (PGCSS).

Eligibility for the first (PCAFC) depends on the disability rating of the veteran as well as needing continuous, in-person personal care services. If eligible, the PCAFC gives Caregiver education and training, Mental health counseling, and Travel, lodging, and financial assistance when traveling with the Veteran to receive care. Additionally, the caregiver receives a monthly stipend, access to CHAMPVA and 30 days per year of respite care.

The PGCSS provides support and resources though peer support mentoring, skills training, coaching, telephone support, online programs, and referrals to available resources to caregivers of Veterans.
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* https://www.va.gov/family-member-benefits/comprehensive-assistance-for-family-caregivers/

In addition to what COL Cudworth listed, In sone cars the family can receive counseling and coaching from or through the VA based on the rating of the Service member. The counseling simply has to be tied to the PTSD and the Service members issues related to that. Having said that, it all depends on resources available. Seek answers from your local VA.

I wonder this as well