RE: CPT Davis' Discussions About PTSD, Trauma And Related Concerns

MAJ Derrick J. — Wed, 06 Aug 2014 19:48:12 -0400

If you would like to know about what I will be posting on, one source you can go to is the ACES Study Conducted by Kaizer-Permanente'. ACES stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences.

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The ACES group did longitudinal studies that followed children into adulthood to measure the impact and relevance of childhood trauma upon adult life and adult relationships.

What they found is, that childhood traumas (they don't adequately define it in my opinion and are overly narrow in scope of their definition) have a dramatic and negative impact upon the (this is my term) Adult Child of Dysfunctional Families.

Dysfunctions is an all-inclusive term that is meant to describe any and all behaviors, reactions and adaptations that create discord, drama, trauma, rejection or neglect of children and/or spouses / life partners. This is the expanded version of the ACES term, "trauma" that children ultimately experience.

Children need SIX THINGS in order to have a better than average chance of having a quality fulfilling life:

1) Value
2) Hope
3) Safety / Security
4) Acceptance
5) Commitment
6) Meaningful / Appropriate Touch

These SIX THINGS, are what I call "The Blessing." This is not about theology, its about giving these good things to children because they need them. To not give them, is to create the "Curse" that will have far reaching impacts into adulthood.

"The Curse" is compromised of the resulting Rules to Live By, and the most common are:

1) Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel
2) I am never good enough
3) There must be a quick fix, or shortcut, to fix my problems
4) I am what I do
5) I must be a "10" (perfect) to earn love, respect, value etc
6) Vows are created to protect the child from future emotional, intellectual and psychic harm. These vows lock the person into predetermined DEFENSIVE patterns of living and relating to others
7) Tend to pick unsafe people, ultimately people who mirror traits of our parents that also reinforce what we've learned from them about self and life

What damages The Blessing?

- Rejection
- Attacks
- Neglect
- Threats

These four Parenting Modes that are used to interact with children, create the Rules to Live By, and thereby force the child to start Stuffing Feelings into the internal emotional closet that we all create, out of the false belief that we can avoid and forget those feelings, memories and wounds.

Kid-Think demands that children blame themselves for the familial and marital problems, and children tend to try to protect parents by making excuses, concluding that mom and dad did the best they could, etc etc.

The problem for the Adult Children comes when we try to live life by the Rules to Live By and apply them to adult relationships and work life.

This is compounded by the tendency to store up adult experiences, emotions and etc in that "internal emotional closet," which then provides seeds for marital discord and parenting problems.

In marriage, the Family of Origin issues / experiences come to bear upon the primary relationship, wherein much of what each partner experienced is transmitted through their parenting and marital relationship, down to their children. Thus, the cycle continues, generation after generation.

This is what every human being experiences, to one degree or another. I have never met a perfect parent or perfect person. They don't exist. Thus, some damage to The Blessing is going to occur, just on that basis of imperfection alone. No one can be a "10."

This baggage gets dragged into military situations and combat, and guess what? Instead of a smoldering fire inside the individual, a Bonfire has been created, fueled by the Family of Origin baggage what was never resolved.

Thus, we bring individuals into combat and military circumstances, who have little to no practical skills or experiences to even know what RELATIONAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH IS, let alone how to implement any related concepts.

This is why therapy is so important. Because the military, schools and communities have not been taught any of this, let alone how to deal with any of it, efforts to actually help people and families just naturally tends to end up with limited results or no real change, overall.

Questions? Comments?

Copyright Notice: Copyright (©), 20007-2014, Derrick C. Johnson. All rights reserved.

Response by CH (CPT) Heather Davis made Aug 7 at 2014 2:15 AM

CH (CPT) Heather Davis — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 02:15:31 -0400

MAJ Johnson:

Respectfully Sir, I was fortunate to attend Clinical Pastoral Education for an entire year in order to be a Hospital Chaplain. I had to endure an entire year of group therapy. I learned about GENOGRAMS, and the assessment and intervention of understanding genetic patterns, trauma in previous generations, hidden family secrets.

What I found in my own family, every generation served in a war. This caused intense neglect with the children, tremendous stress and disruption of interpersonal skills.

I am now familiar with the emotional history of my family and understand the programmed behaviors.

Response by CPT Richard Riley made Aug 7 at 2014 6:16 AM

CPT Richard Riley — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 06:16:22 -0400

With your permission MAJ Derrick J. I would like to add this thread to the PTSD resources section to benefit many of our members. I await your permission for that addition.

Response by PFC John Henry Parker made Feb 10 at 2018 9:09 AM

PFC John Henry Parker — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 09:09:18 -0500

https://vimeo.com/253898431

Part 1: Transitioning Veterans Audiobook Explainer Video (Closed Caption)

This is "Part 1: Transitioning Veterans Audiobook Explainer Video (Closed Caption)" by John Henry on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people…

Response by PFC John Henry Parker made Feb 10 at 2018 9:09 AM

PFC John Henry Parker — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 09:09:31 -0500

https://vimeo.com/253862435

Part 2 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses (Closed Captioned)

This is "Part 2 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses (Closed Captioned)" by John Henry on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who…