Reflections on retirement

SFC Josh Jackson — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 22:00:58 -0500

*continuity note: I wrote this six weeks ago, when it actually happened.

I picked up my DD214 today.

It was a typical early October, Puget Sound Thursday; cloudy and threatening to rain. I woke up thinking about getting my DD214. I've been waking up thinking about it for a while. I faced the countdown with a sort of giddy anticipation, and the closer I got, the happier I was. Things seemed to fall into place for me as I got closer to my last day. I felt a calm satisfaction as the months turned into weeks, then into days.

But when I opened my eyes, and I considered that the days had turned into hours, I felt neither calm nor satisfied. I stood there, staring at the uniform that I would put on for the very last time, and I was overwhelmed with the need to avoid the thing I've meticulously planned for; the end.

It was far too late to change course. It’s been too late for months. I had approved retirement orders. I've completed the exams for my VA claim (I’m pretty sure that if I had never started on the path to retirement, I would've been med boarded), I even landed a great job. All that was left was for me to start my new life.

But I stood there, staring at the uniform that was my second skin, the symbol of my life for the past twenty years, my eyes began to water and I felt something new.

I was afraid.

All of my philosophical explorations at retirement vanished from my head. I felt a hysterical regret forming in gut, and I lamented the finality of what I was about to do. I considered that maybe I felt like a jumper, plummeting to his death and wishing to God that he could take back that last awful step.

What have I done?

But I know what I have done. I've done a lot of good. I've helped, I've guided, I've mentored, I've supported, and I've raised people up. I made people better. I brought aspiring leaders to fruition. I’ve provided opportunity to learn, to grow. I took Soldiers to war, and I brought them home again. I've shown people what right looks like. I made a difference.

My years as an NCO were my time to lead, and I used my time well. I have helped to ensure the Constitutional rights of more than 300 million Americans. What a thing that is! I was a part of the wellspring from which all other freedoms and rights emerge. I helped preserve and maintain the greatest nation the world has ever seen. I joined the ranks of those who bravely stood up to protect Americans against the ever-present threat to liberty. And now it’s time for me to return to the society that I served for so long. Now, I must learn to take my place among the protected. Now, I return to the society that I both lifted up and shielded. Now, I go home to enjoy the fruit that I spent 20 years picking.

Goodbye, SFC Jackson. Hello, Josh.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Nov 16 at 2015 10:18 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 22:18:14 -0500

Been there, done that, didn't like it much.

Response by LTC Stephen C. made Nov 16 at 2015 10:31 PM

LTC Stephen C. — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 22:31:32 -0500

Sounds to me that you'll do just fine, SFC Josh Jackson!

Response by PO1 John Miller made Nov 16 at 2015 11:17 PM

PO1 John Miller — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:17:40 -0500

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKSNpPQlJs8

Sums it up perfectly.

Getting your DD-214

A great representation of what it feels like when your military contract is up. http://www.gruntstyle.com/

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 11:27 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:27:27 -0500

Josh, As a veteran, you can still be a leader in your community and your next career. I know that you will continue to mentor, support, and raise people up. Thank you for your many years of loyal service to our country! Enjoy your new challenges.

Response by PO2 Wesley Wilson made Nov 17 at 2015 1:54 AM

PO2 Wesley Wilson — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 01:54:05 -0500

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

A part of you life, a big part of it has closed. That time has contributed to the man you are. Take pride that you have left something for others to build on. Move forward with pride of a job well done and look forward with anticipation the the jobs you will do.

Good luck with your new opportunities and thank you for your service.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2015 9:20 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 21:20:12 -0500

Great post, SFC Josh Jackson!!!! Thank you for your service.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Nov 17 at 2015 9:21 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 21:21:04 -0500

SFC Josh Jackson It would seen the Army taught you to write very poignant farewell letters!

WELL DONE! Please take time to smell the roses and enjoy your new life w/o looking back! It fun!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 22 at 2015 3:09 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 22 Nov 2015 15:09:48 -0500

Congratulations on your retirement and your new job, SFC Jackson. You may consider yourself among "the protected", but you're still counted among the ranks of our nation's protectors.

Do consider joining the VFW and/or the American Legion. All the best!

Response by 1SG David Lopez made Dec 2 at 2015 12:26 AM

1SG David Lopez — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 00:26:12 -0500

That is how I felt as well. You are a great writer Josh. Enjoy your retiement and welcome to your new life. You earned it. Good Luck brother and Thanks for your selfless service and taking care of our troops.

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Dec 8 at 2015 1:54 PM

SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS — Tue, 08 Dec 2015 13:54:08 -0500

SFC Josh Jackson I am taken aback. I wish I had written something like this when I received my retirement orders and new I was PCSing for the last time. This is very well written and exposes the raw nerve of emotion I know I went through. Thank you very much for sharing this.

Response by SFC Robert Becker made Dec 10 at 2015 12:54 PM

SFC Robert Becker — Thu, 10 Dec 2015 12:54:47 -0500

Contracting is a good way to stay apart of it, I am gone 330 days out of the year but there are shorter rotations. Regretted it for a year or two but over all i am happy.