Reintegrating After a Deployment

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 31 May 2015 10:48:05 -0400

To those who have come home after a deployment, what issues did you face personally? Whether married or single, what did you find the most challenging portion? Also, what steps did you take, and find helpful, to combat those issues?

Did the Reintegration Process help at all?

Response by SGT Lawrence Corser made May 31 at 2015 11:14 AM

SGT Lawrence Corser — Sun, 31 May 2015 11:14:21 -0400

This was a tough one. I listened to the chaplain and didnt not try and NCO my house hold when I got home, I sat back and let them tell me what to do. Which turned out to be very bad as the wife thought she was finally getting her partner back to help.
Dealing with civilians was real tough. not trying to grab them and put them in flex cuffs was a challenge.

Response by SFC Stephen King made May 31 at 2015 11:39 AM

SFC Stephen King — Sun, 31 May 2015 11:39:26 -0400

For me it was realizing that although I was deployed their lives went on. My best advice is slowly dip your toe in the water and get used to their routine. Adaptability is key.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2015 11:41 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 31 May 2015 11:41:19 -0400

To further the conversation;

One of the things that helped my wife and I after my first tour to Afghanistan was making an "expectation list" for one another. I know it sounds kind of crude, but this is what it broke down to:

We each made a list of things we expected to happen upon my return. Things like how the house would operate, how our family time would function, phrases and triggers for 'this situation is starting to get volatile and we need to step away,' things like that. I know it helped us.

I did pay attention during the reintegration training and felt that it was very helpful.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2015 11:47 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 31 May 2015 11:47:04 -0400

It is going to sound like I am making myself distant with my wife and kids, but my wife has told me this is how she has learned to take care of things while I am gone so it is her idea.

Sit back and wait to be asked to help around the house. Understand if my kids want my wife instead of me. Be there, and not into all the other things that I did not get to experience over the last 9 months.

Response by SPC John Lebiecki made Aug 19 at 2016 3:00 PM

SPC John Lebiecki — Fri, 19 Aug 2016 15:00:10 -0400

This is a great topic not only for coming home from a deployment, but even from an unaccompanied tour to places such as Korea.

My first two deployments it was tough to re-integrate but I also didnt have kids at the time. More for me was re-adjusting from the jetlag. My wife was very supportive and let me get back into it slowly.

Coming home from Korea is a different story.....I had left my child just after she turned 6 months old, I came home to an almost 2 year old. She took to me at first, and then she avoided me like the plague. It was HARD to not take it personal.

My best advice, be understanding that their lives had moved on in your absence. You have to be willing to mold into their lifestyle, not the other way around.