Satire Response to Civilian Clothing policies

SGT Kristin Wiley — Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:45:59 -0500

So after not be allowed to go into the Schofield Barracks Commissary a few weeks ago due to wearing slightly factory 'frayed' shorts (not ripped, torn, etc). I have determined that there is a very loose interpretation of the Civilian Clothing policies, giving me the opinion that it’s completely at the courtesy patrol's discretion aka "I'll uphold the policy on whomever I want, but my friends can surely go in dressed inappropriately." My closet is filled with clothing bought at the military exchange and I have come to the determination that my clothing will probably never be acceptable. In other words, it is sold by the military exchange and has factory frayed, cut-off/ripped edges as done to nearly all clothes sold to women my age. To assure you I am not lying, I went to the Army Exchange website and pulled off a few examples of women's shorts on there (see picture). While this policy does not affect me much because I hardly ever shop at the commissary (I seldom cook), I know it does affect some families and cause unnecessary stress. (NOTE: The examples given and posted around post do not match what the policy actually states! Legal deniability?)

I not so secretly want to make a bunch of posters of a variety of satire (and possibly true) reponses concerning these policies, and put them all over base. But I won’t. However, I’m sorry if this post entices someone to do something in this regards. Anyways while I was brainstorming my mental rebellion, I came up with some reponses that I thought I would share.
1. “Was not allowed in the PX wearing clothes I bought at the PX…”
2. “(Soldier) now buys clothes off amazon in order to enter the PX to buy clothes to wear in the PX”
3. “I have not had a home cooked meal in months due to not being allowed in the commissary…been eating at Popeye’s and gained 30lbs”
4. (Based off #3) “Help fight American Obesity, rescind Military Civilian Clothing policies!”
5. “Couldn’t buy the new APFT uniform, my money was spent on ‘appropriate’ clothing so my wife could go shopping”
6. “I can’t go in! Why? It’s not my fault! My dog chewed holes in them!”
7. CP: “Ma’am, you can’t come in your child’s clothing is dirty”
Mother “My son is 6-months old…he drools...”

Anyone have something to add to this list?

And on a more serious note, should we be concerned about the effect these policies are having on military families? What can be done when you are denied entry when dressed appropriately?

Response by SGT Kristin Wiley made Dec 20 at 2014 6:04 PM

SGT Kristin Wiley — Sat, 20 Dec 2014 18:04:31 -0500

SGT Private RallyPoint Member , see I'm telling you we need to dress up in an evening gown and suit and tie to go to the commissary! Or some ridiculous outfits that clearly aren't against the policy. Can't you see me wearing this to go shopping? haha

Response by SSG Tim Everett made Dec 21 at 2014 12:17 AM

SSG Tim Everett — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 00:17:35 -0500

7. CP: “Ma’am, you can’t come in your child’s clothing is dirty”
Mother “My son is 6-months old…he drools...”
-- I have a three year old. I can put that kid in freshly-laundered duds, put him in the car, give him a banana, and by the time I make it five miles down the road he will somehow have morphed into Pig Pen. G-d help the CP who tells me I can't use the commissary because my kid's clothes are a little dirty.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 24 at 2014 7:46 AM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 07:46:03 -0500

And this is why I do the majority of my shopping off-base.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Dec 25 at 2014 3:35 AM

SSG (ret) William Martin — Thu, 25 Dec 2014 03:35:50 -0500

Should dress codes such as "no active wear" extend to private businesses such as a retail store? The military might have jurisdiction on the SM but not the business.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2015 2:36 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 02:36:32 -0500

SGT Kristin Wiley Can you tell us the incident in detail? Who didn't allow you to go into the commissary? What was the exact dialogue? etc?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 20 at 2015 1:31 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 20 Feb 2015 13:31:31 -0500

omfg. hilarious. this would be a interesting block of instruction.

Response by SPC David S. made Feb 20 at 2015 2:32 PM

SPC David S. — Fri, 20 Feb 2015 14:32:53 -0500

I could understand if you where a guy wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes with your coin purses hanging out, that would be wrong for a variety of reasons. As to the top picture I don't see how those are inappropriate at all.

So what about jogging off duty in yoga shorts (some I've seen would be closer to a thong than a pair of shorts), going to the beach or pool in a bikini, or painting the house in an old pair of torn up shorts and ratty t-shirt. I think the military has more important things to do than to play fashion police.

However it looks like Montana lawmakers have nothing better to do either as they seam to be up in arms about yoga pants. Last time I checked you could still buy alcohol, cigarettes, and even go to a strip club in Montana, so I'd really like to know why yoga pants are the scourge of the earth.

http://www.montanakaimin.com/news/article_9deda42a-b7f3-11e4-a1f9-7764c5844c91.html

article_9deda42a-b7f3-11e4-a1f9-7764c5844c91.html

Response by SrA Marc Haynes made Feb 20 at 2015 5:39 PM

SrA Marc Haynes — Fri, 20 Feb 2015 17:39:42 -0500

More appropriate attire

Response by SrA Marc Haynes made Feb 20 at 2015 5:42 PM

SrA Marc Haynes — Fri, 20 Feb 2015 17:42:18 -0500

Or better yet! If they say anything you could say something like "oh couldn't make it through Ranger School huh?"

Response by SFC Michael Jackson, MBA made Feb 21 at 2015 12:02 AM

SFC Michael Jackson, MBA — Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:02:47 -0500

Just the follow the rules, abide by the policy, or choose not to shop in the establishment.

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Feb 21 at 2015 12:07 AM

SPC Stewart Smith — Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:07:43 -0500

Yet another instance of the army treating adults like children. And the sad part is a lot of you will think that it's ok.

Listen people. We are all born naked. Nobody cares about nudity until we are taught one way or the other. If someone wants to wear cutoff shorts, or no shorts, then it shouldn't be any concern of yours.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 21 at 2015 12:31 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 21 Feb 2015 12:31:09 -0500

I agree that this CP situation is getting out of hand. I took a Soldier to a Soldier of the Year board. During the weeklong event we were out doing a ruck to a range, followed by an obstacle course. We took a break for lunch and were driven to the DFAC. Across the street was a shoppette. After chow we went across the street to get some Gatorade and snacks because he still had day land nav and night land nav coming. An LT and SFC on CP told us we could not go into the shoppette because we had dirty uniforms on. Now mind you we were not covered head to toe in mud or anything. Just generally dirty from a 6 mile ruck, laying in the dirt at the range and the obstacle course. It took some convincing but they finally let us in. It is crazy that we were in our prescribed military uniforms on a Saturday doing our jobs and could not go into a place meant to serve just Soldiers.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Apr 17 at 2015 2:56 AM

PO1 John Miller — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 02:56:46 -0400

There have been times in the Navy where I would have to wear my uniform belt in civilian clothes because I rarely wear a belt in jeans, khakis, etc. The way I look at it is: my shirt usually hangs over the top of my pants so my belt isn't visible to begin with, and I buy pants that actually fit so I don't need a belt.

However, Navy instructions (or local command instructions) dictate that if your pants have belt loops then you must wear a belt.

This is by far the absolute stupidest civilian clothing wear rule I have ever seen.

I'm so glad I'm now retired and can wear pretty much WTF I want to. There have been times when I've went into the commissary or NEX/BX/PX/etc. wearing a tank top and flip flops just for the principle of the matter.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 17 at 2015 6:02 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 06:02:01 -0400

I walked right by the Courtesy Patrol in this...they didn't even see me. Winning!!!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 17 at 2015 6:17 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 06:17:29 -0400

Start going in Renaissance Formal Attire.

Response by SGT Dylan Epp made Apr 17 at 2015 11:17 AM

SGT Dylan Epp — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 11:17:57 -0400

I got corrected by a civilian doctor the other day when I went to the hospital in civilian clothes since I was off duty (I called prior and they said civis were fine) I was wearing shorts above my knee and he said I could'nt be in there cause shorts above the knee were considered undergarments. I then pulled out AR 670-1 on my phone and found no mention of this. I think is out of control.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 23 at 2015 7:54 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 19:54:04 -0400

Response by SGT Anthony Bussing made May 17 at 2015 10:55 PM

SGT Anthony Bussing — Sun, 17 May 2015 22:55:58 -0400

welcome to the peacetime military....

Response by SFC Matthew Parker made Nov 19 at 2015 12:59 AM

SFC Matthew Parker — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 00:59:31 -0500

We had similar issues with the CPs on Ft Stewart. CSM hated baggie pants and dirty cloths and I was ok with that. But when they started trolling the Wal-Mart parking lot I got annoyed. If I'm not coming on post I don't shave and while I fully support the COC don't think your coming into my off post housing.

I'm guessing this wouldn't be acceptable. Does look great with the dress mess jacket and mini medals.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 20 at 2015 5:43 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 17:43:05 -0500

When all of this started a year ago I just KNEW there would be an Army spouse who would get called out for their attire, get pissed and call a Congressman and all of this would just "go away". Hasn't that happened yet? If not, you Army spouses are slacking on the job and cruising for a good reprimand in your permanent record LOL

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 23 at 2015 8:05 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 20:05:20 -0500

Hey Sgt, I picked up your new PX/Commisary clothes.

Seriously if you're experiencing issues, file an ice complaint. Again and again.
Also read post policy on what can and can't be worn. You may just have an over zealous patrol but they may also still be "in the right". Unfortunately they may be adhering to post policy. They're usually pretty rediculious.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Dec 4 at 2015 10:18 AM

SSG Audwin Scott — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 10:18:50 -0500

This is sad, so I guess you can't go to the beach either in your bikini because you are a soldier and soldier shouldn't wear stuff like that. I am being sarcastic right now because this is very stupid. If they sale it dammit you should be able to wear it wherever you want.

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Dec 9 at 2015 12:45 PM

PO1 Donald Hammond — Wed, 09 Dec 2015 12:45:23 -0500

SCHOFIELD? ROFLMBO. This is Hawaii! Go to any store in the "real" world and see nearly naked people.

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Dec 11 at 2015 10:55 AM

MCPO Roger Collins — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 10:55:44 -0500

One question. How are the dependents treated when they dress in this fashion. When you are in mufti, who knows if you are AD or a dependent or a Veteran? If all are denied per an existing dress code, thems the breaks. BTW, doesn't particularly bother me either way.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Dec 11 at 2015 11:00 AM

SSG Warren Swan — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 11:00:26 -0500

You're wearing a all white t-shirt with no pockets on it? Soldier did you know you're not allowed to mix and match uniform items with civilian clothes? But I bought it at the PX and the tag says Polo. Sorry in accordance with the Post CG, and my interpretation of AR 670-1, I cannot allow you into the PX. I might be the old man here, I remember you couldn't wear an all white t-shirt into the chow hall if it didn't have some design or pocket on it. It was considered an uniform item. The Mess Sergeant would send you packing. PT's after PT has long been over, try again. Dirty uniform? Sucks to be you.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 11 at 2015 12:44 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 12:44:28 -0500

All you need is confidence. Build up your confidence.

Response by SSG Ronald Bloodworth made Mar 3 at 2018 11:40 AM

SSG Ronald Bloodworth — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 11:40:00 -0500

I remember an episode in Germany back in the eighties when the community commander decided that biker pants would no longer be allowed to be worn after his teenage daughter, who incidentally lived wearing them and had ample attributes for maximizing effect, got pregnant.
Typically, rather than police his daughters activities and behavior to prevent her illegitimate pregnancy and holding his daughter accountable for her for her risky behavior and horrible decision making, he decided the solution to his problem was to blame the clothing she wore and then impose his will onto every soldier under his command.
The only true result of his edict was that there was a run on biker pants within 24 hours after he issued the order and doentyw next month or so, there were too many violations of his policy that he finally decided that it wasn’t worth the headache.
Caviat: I don’t suggest using that method of stating a position as a cure all. What was successful in on instance might exacerbate a problem an another. People are funny that way.
What I would do is gather evidentiary information to support what you believe is happening and include it in the complaint if that is the action you decide to take. Photos of “inappropriate” items sold in the PX, of other individuals being allowed by CP personnel wearing same, written statements of other who may volunteer their support, and verifiable videnve of any locations in question along with date/time stamps with provable facts included. It may result in a policy change and it may not. The more thorough and substantive your complaint is, the more attention it will garner. Hell, make up a whole packet and send it up the chain.
Be ready for blowback though. Nobody in authority likes being called out on their own bullshit...lol

Response by SGT Derek Wynne made Apr 7 at 2018 2:07 AM

SGT Derek Wynne — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 02:07:19 -0400

Walk in with a fellow male soldier in uniform..."deny me bitch!"...lol

Response by LCpl Steve Zupan made Jul 6 at 2019 12:33 AM

LCpl Steve Zupan — Sat, 06 Jul 2019 00:33:05 -0400

Refrain from the, "kiss me, fuck me" shorts, always. It's a sad state of affairs....

Response by LCpl Steve Zupan made Jul 6 at 2019 10:14 PM

LCpl Steve Zupan — Sat, 06 Jul 2019 22:14:44 -0400

The Marine Corps used to warn us about wearing, "kiss me, fuck me" shorts, back in the day....I still laugh like hell at the expression....

Response by SFC Quinn Chastant made Jun 5 at 2020 11:07 AM

SFC Quinn Chastant — Fri, 05 Jun 2020 11:07:05 -0400

Well, the few times I go into the Exchange, Shopette, or Commissary wearing a Kilt, I get some confused looks overall... But its not like I'm going full Mel Gibson as William Wallace either....

Response by 1st Lt Padre Dave Poedel made Apr 8 at 2021 7:58 PM

1st Lt Padre Dave Poedel — Thu, 08 Apr 2021 19:58:12 -0400

Few things shock me these days.....but I was denied entry to the Commissary on base back in 1973 for wearing cut off jean shorts......it never seems to change.