SGT Vera KeatonWoVeN (Women Veteran's Network) Series Week 3: Balance

SGT Vera Keaton — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 09:58:56 -0400

Read weeks 1&2 here: http://rly.pt/3vSR8QZ

Each week each theme builds off one another and coming from week two theme transitions, we move into week three theme balance. There is a need for balance in everyone’s life, if there is no balance then there is total chaos. For example, you may have an overload of different activities you are doing i.e., working, school, family, social life and hobbies just to name a few. Week three is the week we tackle balance and how we define balance, how we maintain it, and what to do when things start to get out of order. I have come to find that when discussing this topic most of the ladies don’t find it always possible to be able to juggle their time equally between activities, so they feel their being stretched a bit too thin and of course they feel as though there is not enough time in the day.

Our handout we use for this is a lady on a tight rope holding a balance beam in her hand with a safety net to catch her in case she falls. We take the activity in three steps. The tightrope being the things we are trying to balance. The balance beam is for the things that throw you out of balance. Finally, the safety net is where the ladies record what helps them to become balanced once more in life for instance dancing or listening to music. The balance activity helps myself and the ladies out a lot because when we share our solutions to finding balance, we help one another get over some major hurdles we are dealing with in our lives at that moment in time an example being, I shared that I was doing a major move and I just feel as if my life was in disarray at that moment so one of the ladies told me to take time when I have a moment or moments to myself to have a cup of coffee, juice, tea, water or whatever you prefer and stare out the window. Who knew that one change in my day could be so invigorating?

We love to get the ladies talking amongst themselves because that helps to lighten the mood and to also get to know one another a little bit better so in order to do so there are some great questions that are asked for the ladies to answer. For instance:

- How do they know they’ve achieved total balance?
- Is there a such thing as total balance?
- Was it easier or harder for you to achieve balance in the military versus being in the civilian world?

These questions are a tool to help the group grow a deeper bond and connection because we help one another as I say in my groups “stop, breathe and enjoy life.” There are other sources we give the ladies to further their practice with balance at the end of the meeting. Which can be found on the WoVen website.

As a group leader I try to be cognizant of when a group member uses the statement “should”. When a member tells another “you should do it this way” that is giving the message that someone is doing something wrong and that the problem maybe you. I never want any of my group members to feel like they are being judged because we all have various aspects of our lives that we are trying to balance no matter if they’re negative or positive. We are here to help one another to become better women, connect with one another and to become a sisterhood.

Visit the WoVeN website to learn more about the 8 week program here: http://rly.pt/3ln0FLl

WoVeN (Women Veteran's Network) Series: Weeks 1 & 2 | RallyPoint

The WoVeN mission is to provide a unique social network of women Veterans to foster connections and build relationships in local communities and across the nation. Over the next 8 weeks, I will take you through our program from start to finish. As a peer leader you go through virtual training with an amazing team of women (pre COVID the training was in person). We learned, danced, laughed, ate some awesome food and had the best time. It’s so...

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Mar 22 at 2021 10:25 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 10:25:32 -0400

Great material that your using sister SGT Vera Keaton , this should help out those that feel a need to better themselves.

Response by COL John McClellan made Mar 22 at 2021 12:15 PM

COL John McClellan — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 12:15:05 -0400

Thanks for posting!

Response by Laurie Geoffroy made May 17 at 2021 3:56 PM

Laurie Geoffroy — Mon, 17 May 2021 15:56:24 -0400

Sgt. Vera: I am reading all the 8 week program content and this one on balance really resonates with women. I love your paragraph on "you should do it this way". Spot on with how that can be interpreted. It hit so close to home for me. When I was earning my leadership coaching certification, the word "should" was not to be used with clients. Not only does it imply your client is doing something wrong, it implies "forced to do something" vs. a desire to do it. We had a saying, "Quit 'shoulding' on yourself!" I worked with employees who complain about work/life balance. I look compare work/life balance to the ocean's tide. It goes in and out. That is how our work and personal life are when it comes to balancing. Some days, the tide comes in farther than others, making us feel overwhelmed. Personal time may be limited. When the tide goes out, consider this your personal time. If we look at work/life balance with this perspective, we realize no two days will necessarily be the exact same in how we can balance out our lives; however, if we are feeling like the tide is always in and flooding us, then we need to reflect on how and what needs to shift for our mental and physical health. Women have a tendency to be givers and nurturers. While these are beautiful traits to possess, sometimes we forget that we are allowed to say no to requests from others. A quote I love is: "It is difficult to help others from an empty cup."
Vera, love your messages...they are so mindful!