Should married people be treated differently when assigning duties around Valentine's Day?

2015-01-31T18:06:57-05:00

Im a married E5. In my unit we have E6s pull CQ. My squad leader has CQ on February 13. He chose me, another E5 in the squad who is single, and a single E4 in our squad to be his runners for that day. There are 2 other E4s in our squad that are single. I had made plans with my new wife to go out of town for that weekend. And even after telling my squad leader that and informing him there are 2 single joes that he could choose instead of me he is being extremely difficult and says "welcome to the army, your doing CQ with me" I've been in the army for almost 6 years and I've never seen 3 NCOs on CQ before. Especially when there are joes he could choose. It wouldn't be a big deal normally but like I said, I had made plans to go out of town with my wife for that weekend. What can I do? This doesn't seem fair at all. Absolutely no common sense. I'm thinking of using the open door policy but my 1SG has always had his back so I don't think it would make a difference if I did.

Response by TSgt Joshua Copeland made Jan 31 at 2015 7:35 PM

2015-01-31T19:35:59-05:00

Not the answer your looking for but you had plans but no leave on the books? Sounds like a fail on your part. Was/is the guy being an ass? Without more info, I can't say for sure, but sounds that way but isn't illegal or immoral.

Response by SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA made Jan 31 at 2015 7:36 PM

2015-01-31T19:36:50-05:00

Ask someone to take the duty for you or pay them to do it, otherwise change your plans...I hate to say it: thats how it is...but the Army is funny that way...do not go to Top with this, will hurt you in the future with your Squad Leader.

Response by SPC David Hannaman made Jan 31 at 2015 8:05 PM

2015-01-31T20:05:28-05:00

"Fair"?! "Married"?! What if the single guys made plans with the girls they hope to marry someday?

Lead from the front sarg.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 8:50 PM

2015-01-31T20:50:13-05:00

We used to keep track of who had CQ and CQ runner on a DA Form 6. I'm guessing that has changed based on your post, SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member. It also sounds to me like there's "bad blood" between you and your squad leader. That's never good. If I were you, I'd try to reconcile and repair that relationship. I remember having CQ on Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. The weekday/weekend roster just happened to work out that way ... that was 1976 (or so), which goes to show you that this has been an issue for many years. Probably forever.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 9:08 PM

2015-01-31T21:08:21-05:00

Sergeant,

If you don't have an approved DA-31, then you did not "make plans". How would it be fair for your squad leader to give you preferential treatment due to your marital status?

If anything, Sergeant, you should be looking out for your subordinates instead of throwing them under the bus. I'm just a specialist (E-4) and even I know this. I pulled staff duty in place of one of my PFCs on Christmas Day, for free and without his asking me to, just so he wouldn't have to and so he'd know I care. Maybe it would be best if you took this to the 1SG, so he can understand what type of NCO you are.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 9:30 PM

2015-01-31T21:30:26-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member, if the plans were made far enough in advance and were that important to you then proper procedure would have been followed as others have mentioned.

I can tell you every event I am attending that is important to me for the next year. This weekend I am filling out the necessary requests to have said time allotted to me.

Preparation is the key to success. Had you taken the time to do some paperwork you might have a tiny "plot on which to stand." You must remember that the only thing which can excuse you from duty is actual Leave.

Furthermore is you have only been in the ARMY for six years then you should not be referring to Soldiers as "joes." Not to mention in this context you make it seem as though you are better than Single Soldiers and should not have to pull duty. All of us have to pull duty.

You may need to evaluate and see if you are cut out for the ARMY as we all miss things which we would like to attend or be a part of.

valentine's is not even a Holiday!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 9:39 PM

2015-01-31T21:39:28-05:00

Sorry to tell you buck, but that's the army. Just because you're married doesn't mean you get privilege. I've been single most of my career and been screwed because of it. I'd like to buy your squad leader a beer for doing the right thing.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 9:51 PM

2015-01-31T21:51:12-05:00

SGT Brandon Baba,
Have you ever wonder why the E-5 is nicknamed the Buck-SGT?

Response by SFC Royce Williams made Jan 31 at 2015 9:56 PM

2015-01-31T21:56:20-05:00

Next time submit a pass form.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Jan 31 at 2015 9:59 PM

2015-01-31T21:59:19-05:00

Others have already mentioned the Leave/pass issue.

Others have already mentioned the fairness issue.

Here's my take.

Generally when "Holidays" roll around, we always tried to make accommodations. Once you have the list of everyone that is on Leave/Pass, you have a list of everyone else.

Senior Man gets the Holiday. There are no playing favorites that way. If there is an Assistant, the Senior "eligible" Man, goes with him, or he just picks his most trusted. Keep in mind duty isn't a punishment. It means they trust you enough to take care of your men.

Now sometimes we had volunteers. I used to volunteer for Christmas & New Years. No one screws with you when you have Duty on major holidays. And the CO & SgtMaj normally bring you cookies.

But, as for your issue. Touch base with SSG, and let him know, you failed (this was a failure on your part) to submit leave/pass. Be Honest. Thank him for selecting you to stand duty with him, because it does show trust. Ask him, be sure to ask, that if you can find another trustworthy NCO to swap for the shift, would that be okay with him and the Command.

It's amazing what can happen if you just ask the question at the lowest level.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 31 at 2015 10:46 PM

2015-01-31T22:46:16-05:00

SGT Baba, you should have submitted a DA31, TRiPS, MapQuest, POV inspection, LES and Pass/Leave request as soon as you and your wife made plans. I've missed my first two anniversaries due to deployment to Afghanistan and PCS to Korea.

AND STOP USING THE WORD 'JOES'. They are junior enlisted. I think the word 'Joes' is the most derogatory and disrespectful way to refer to our junior enlisted.

'If one fails to plan.......one plans to fail'

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Jan 31 at 2015 11:04 PM

2015-01-31T23:04:32-05:00

You have been swamped with DA-31 advice so I digress. If you plan on making the military a career and having your new spouse support you, this may actually be a blessing. Disappointment, sacrifice, and heartache goes hand in hand with being a military spouse. Seeing that you are newlyweds, it can actually be seen as a valuable lesson. Not much comfort I am sorry to say, but these are the important lessons that are best learned before she is faced with losing you for 15 months straight. I knew a guy who fell apart because the "shock" and "reality" of the situation hit his spouse too hard during their first deployment and she bailed. My wife (ex) and I missed our first 5 anniversaries together and when we finally go to spend one together, we didn't know what to do....lol. Be a glass half full kind of guy. It makes the career more pleasant.

Response by SP5 Michael Rathbun made Jan 31 at 2015 11:54 PM

2015-01-31T23:54:10-05:00

There might be some good reasons why it looks to you that the 1SG has his back. Do some tactical analysis.

Pay heed also to the wisdom showered upon you here in this topic.

(/me goes off muttering about all the duty roster atrocities one can see in a single year...)

Response by SFC Dan Sorrow, M.S. made Feb 1 at 2015 12:52 AM

2015-02-01T00:52:28-05:00

Remember what fair is? It's that thing that comes to town once a year. Everything else is life. No leave or pass approved? It'll be alright. Plan your get away another weekend. You'll enjoy it better!

Response by 1SG Steven Stankovich made Feb 1 at 2015 2:14 AM

2015-02-01T02:14:07-05:00

I understand your situation SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member. I was once a single Soldier living in the barracks and regularly got "tagged" for things like this. However, as I matured in the Army I learned about submitting DA31s (already mentioned numerous times) to ensure that I had those days off that my family and I wanted.

I also know that there are no entries on a DA6 for marital status. 1SGs should post duty rosters based off of the DA6. If there are going to be any changes to the posted duty roster, it should go through the 1SG. At least that was a requirement on my duty rosters.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 8:35 AM

2015-02-01T08:35:58-05:00

All I can say is Suck it up Butter Cup. Valentines day is also my anniversary with my wife. This year I am deployed. Last year I was in Ranger School. This is my third deployment. I have lost so much time with my family I don't even know when to start but deploying several years back when my daughter was 3 months old could be a good start. I would say this. You are a leader. The NCO creed should mean something. I think there is something about not using your rank for pleasure, profit, or personal safety. I would think this falls in the pleasure part.

With that being said family is important. If you don't want to miss any time with them then you might want to choose another profession. By doing CQ it shows you are taking care of your soldiers. To be honest if you opened doored me with such a request I would really question a few things. Just so you know GEN Mattis pulled officer of the Day duty for a younger Marine once. He didn't have to but he was a leader and set the example.

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Feb 1 at 2015 8:58 AM

2015-02-01T08:58:03-05:00

I'm trying to get around the fact that there are 3 runners for 1 CQ duty.....other than that you run the risk of whining too much, why must single Soldiers, regardless of the particular day, be the ones who get shafted when duty comes up? While it may be nice to spend Valentine's Day with your new wife, it happens, I know first hand of this, Feb 14, 1989 spent my first married Valentine's Day as SDNCO Runner, had been married 3 months. It is only a day, you can celebrate prior of after, but don't come across as a whiner looking to have others get shafted just because you are married. Sorry if I come across as too harsh, but you are an NCO and we have to suck it up and drive on.

Response by SFC Rapfeal Mayfield made Feb 1 at 2015 9:13 AM

2015-02-01T09:13:34-05:00

The fact that you are married shouldnt matter for duty. Everyone has to do duty and at some point you will get it when you dont want to have it. I say just ask someone to take your duty. Take this as a learning experience. Next time you are going to make plans, you need to make arrangements in advance by requesting a pass or leave.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 9:37 AM

2015-02-01T09:37:36-05:00

I hate to say it but every time someone uses the phrase"it doesn't seem fair" in my shop, they get told our core values include "Service before self". Unless you had a pass or approved leave, you will have to change the day you leave.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 9:50 AM

2015-02-01T09:50:17-05:00

I could of swore E5 and E4 were pay grades.... Refer yourself as your rank, not pay grade.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 10:13 AM

2015-02-01T10:13:30-05:00

Queue the Peanuts teacher. Suck it up, Sgt! We all had duties at the worst possible time and while in the military, marriage does not equate to special privilege.

Charlie Brown Teacher Speaking

Response by CW3 Eddy Vleugels made Feb 1 at 2015 10:33 AM

2015-02-01T10:33:04-05:00

All I can say is...DA31!

Here's a few other comments for you to take as you see fit:

- When you talk about other soldiers, you should address them by their ranks, not their pay grades...like you did with the 1SG...

- You're coming across as a whiner...shape up...Look at some of the excellent comments made by some of the SPCs in this blog.

- I strongly recommend you go talk to your 1SG, so you can be reminded what it means to be a GOOD NCO!

You have ONLY served 6 years...there is still lots of time to learn.

Response by Sgt Adam Jennings made Feb 1 at 2015 11:22 AM

2015-02-01T11:22:14-05:00

I just had to lower my head and shake it as I'm reading this.

How about next time you use the 7 P's so this doesn't happen, and so that you don't look like that NCO, you know the one I'm talking about, the one that uses his marital status to get out of duty.

In case you don't know the 7 P's they are as follows, Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

In other words, either submitting leave paperwork, submitting special liberty paperwork, or just using proper prior communication with your chain of command would have prevented this issue.

As for your new wife, both of you need to understand that mission comes before things like Valentine's Day, no matter how mundane or silly you may think that mission is.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 11:23 AM

2015-02-01T11:23:42-05:00

Dude I had staff duty for my sons first thanksgiving and Christmas... I also had it new years eve and will have it Valentines day, it sucks but it happens*. I once give up a weekend so one of my troops could go on a blind date (he needed it, wouldn't of done it if he didn't).

* I am about to PCS so I am on staff duty shift work until my school date.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 11:56 AM

2015-02-01T11:56:11-05:00

SGT, sorry but many of us just don't feel sorry for you. I'm not trying to be cold or anything like that but this is a part of being a Soldier (I can't speak for our sister branches), especially an NCO. Like others have articulated, I too have had to do duties or other stuff during times I wanted to do something else. Some of the worst ones were being deployed to Kenya then Kuwait for my first two anniversaries with my first wife. My third anniversary? I was doing Change of Command inventories. Needless to say, I was not very happy about it but I still had to do my job. As an NCO, and a married one at that, you have no special privileges especially if, as others have stated, you didn't submit a pass or leave form plenty of time in advance so your seniors could plan. As you progress in rank and mature in your career, you will begin to understand this much more. I don't think any of us responding to you are trying to belittle you but more so trying to guide and mentor you.

SSG Daniel Deiler, SFC Private RallyPoint Member, SFC Brian Lehnhardt, SFC James Baber, SFC Private RallyPoint Member, SGT Richard H., MSG Brad Sand, SFC John Gates, SFC Mark Merino, CSM Private RallyPoint Member, SPC Jeff Daley, PhD, MSG Private RallyPoint Member, SSG Jason Neumann, SSG Justin McCoy, SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL, SSG Joaquin Goicoechea, 1SG David Niles, SSG V. Michelle Woods, SSG Robert Burns, SSG Gerhard S..

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 12:11 PM

2015-02-01T12:11:36-05:00

I have been in 18 years read most of the comments I don't agree or disagree with what I gave read been there an done that just recently go to a new unit an first day my 1sg asked if I could pull staff duty then off the next day the back on for cq I made a comment about it jokingly was replaced for cq the thing that gets me is there are complainers at all levels if in fact regaurdless of a da31 or pass if it was said of plains prior then nco's should back up other nco's cq or staff duty ONE NCO AN TWO ENLISTED WAY IS THERE TWO NCO'S PULLING THE DUTY PLUS FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS THE NCO CORPS HAS GOTTEN SOFT BACK UP YOU FELLOW NCO'S

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 12:20 PM

2015-02-01T12:20:38-05:00

Doesn't seem fair but that's how it goes. You have to suck it up. I've missed most holidays and Valentine's Day because of my job. Just do what I do. Celebrate it on a different day. Explain to her that you can't. You also can't hold being single against the soldiers that are not pulling going to pull cq.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 12:26 PM

2015-02-01T12:26:25-05:00

Maybe I'm just Old School, but I read this just thinking that it couldn't seriously be a question from an NCO. I could see some junior enlisted soldier who doesn't know how the Army (or any other branch for that matter) works bitching about this sort of thing, but c'mon man... You're a SGT and you've been in for almost 6 years. Not only SHOULD you know that this sort of thing happens ALL.THE.TIME, but as a leader, you should know it's wholly unacceptable to complain about this sort of thing (especially when you didn't submit for a pass). Find someone willing to take your duty (and be willing to PAY them) or suck it up and drive on.

Response by SSG Jason Neumann made Feb 1 at 2015 12:46 PM

2015-02-01T12:46:48-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member Well now I am sure you learned what to do from all of these posts that have been made from other SM. Put in a pass in advance, make sure you let your Chain of Command (CoC) know, and always follow up on that pass to make sure it is set in stone. There is a thing called a DA 6, that some leaders will use when tasking out Soldiers for duty. I am guessing it's your unit's SOP to just "stick" either an SSG or SGT on CQ, which I think is kind of weird, but if that's how they roll, then oh well. If you like, possibly bring that up to your CoC and inquire why isn't SPC promotable or SGT pulling CQ and SSG pull Battalion staff duty.

At some point, everyone has to step in and do what is needed to accomplish the mission. Suck it up buttercup, you are in the military and we all have to pull together in order to get the mission done, whatever it may be.

Hopefully, this and the many other posts made by other Soldiers and Senior Enlisted has brought some light to this. Take it easy and keep your head up high.

Response by SFC James Baber made Feb 1 at 2015 1:04 PM

2015-02-01T13:04:48-05:00

SGT Baba,

I am going to approach this from 2 angles. 1st you are in the military, you are subject to doing what your seniors assign you to do as long as it is not illegal, immoral or unethical, cut and dry across the board, even if it inconveniences you and your family, when you signed the dotted line you agreed to that aspect, the Army didn't issue you a wife or family, it doesn't take precedence over duty.

2nd, your unit is not assigning duties properly, it shouldn't be a hey you duty or your squad leader picking his assistants/runners, it should be accomplished via a DA form 6, if this not being done your unit leadership is setting themselves and their Soldiers up for failure, one by not following the regulations that are an inspectable item and it also goes hand in hand to maintaining morale and esprit de corps among the troops, all the troops, juniors and seniors alike so as to not be showing favoritism and preferential treatment or abuse to or of anyone.

I understand and have respect for your concerns, but to appear to be whining about it, which is how it comes across, you need to show the maturity and leadership of an NCO and word and approach it in a much better way. Even though you think or have personally viewed it as the 1SG having your squad leaders back, in reality he/she should, but also if you approach it the right way and ask to see the DA 6, which is your right whether a junior enlisted or an NCO, and if they ask why, calmly and respectfully explain why and the situation, while at the same time admitted that your erred in not putting in a pass request to cover, but also that you were under the assumption that duties were doled out via DA 6 and duty roster, and you thought you were covered, but be tactful about it and accept your role in the error for not submitting a pass to cover the time even if a current roster hadn't been published, that way you are not just blaming the leadership, even if it is their fault for not following regs and publishing a duty roster for the timeframe instead of a hey you last minute appointment, that way it shows that you are trying to work together to correct the error and also show your willingness to learn from the experience without appearing to be one of "those" NCOs. Hopefully you can understand and grasp what I am trying to pass on and guide you with.

Response by SSG Daniel Deiler made Feb 1 at 2015 1:27 PM

2015-02-01T13:27:49-05:00

That's why you submit a pass for the weekend. It's not unfair. That is unless of course your unit is not utilizing a DA6 to populate the duty roster. Sorry but this one is on you. And the fact that you either are ignoring the fact you should know better or that you really didn't know this does not speak well of you as an NCO.

Now the fact that your unit has multiple nco's on The same CQ duty is even more pathetic and a complete waste of personnel and resources.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 1:31 PM

2015-02-01T13:31:27-05:00

Either way I'm not sure why you're pulling cq if your e-5 if e-6s pull it?

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 1:35 PM

2015-02-01T13:35:40-05:00

I'll tell you that it used to piss me off when I was single how many times I had to pull weekend duty just because I was single. I was told I should be more than "happy" to allow married soldiers the time with their family.
That said I didn't mind doing the work that needed done often offered to do it because I knew they had a family event...but when it became expected of me because I was single I got mad.
We all have to pull duty at inconvienant times and if you didn't plan a head without so much as a milage pass suck it up...alter your plans and move on. Don't think single soldiers time off is less valuable because they are single.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 1:38 PM

2015-02-01T13:38:36-05:00

I suggest that you reschedule your plans to another weekend and perform your assigned duty that weekend. When an individual "makes plans" but doesn't inform Uncle Sam, this is unfortunately what happens.

Oh, and, be romantic as H*LL to your new Missus all year around. Then Valentine's won't be a big deal. Lol

Response by SGT Justin Lamb made Feb 1 at 2015 1:48 PM

2015-02-01T13:48:32-05:00

SGT,
Everyone gets screwed out of some holiday sometime in their career. Married or not, no one is that special to not pull duty.

I would think of it this way, where ever you go to celebrate V-day with your spouse a day or two after the holiday, it will be a lot less crowded.

Anyways your married. Everyday is V-day

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 1:54 PM

2015-02-01T13:54:35-05:00

Wow, that does sound dumb. Do the usual... and pay $50 for someone to take the shift.

Response by SGT Jim Z. made Feb 1 at 2015 2:00 PM

2015-02-01T14:00:08-05:00

You should have put a pass request in long before now to ensure you get out of duty. Your failure to plan is not his fault. Suck it up and drive on SGT.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 2:21 PM

2015-02-01T14:21:08-05:00

You couldn't have built a hypothetical question first?

Response by 1SG David Niles made Feb 1 at 2015 2:26 PM

2015-02-01T14:26:34-05:00

Not to sound like an ass, but "suck it up, butter cup" that is the military life. Adapt and overcome. I have spent many an anniversary, birthday, holiday away or on duty in service to my county through out my military career. My wife, kids and I have learned to plan around what the army had us do. There is a reason we say Mission First, because Mission is First.

Response by MAJ(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 2:31 PM

2015-02-01T14:31:53-05:00

Most people nailed it already. Three things you should always remember:

- always take leave/pass when off time is critical to remain "off"

- duty is (should be) based on a DA6 only. Anything other than that is unprofessional.

- Never complain why subordinate Soldiers have it "better" than you do. It is a bad quality for a leader to exude.

I may or may not have mentioned, "welcome to the Army." However, I say now, "welcome to leadership."

Now, attempt to trade with someone and don't be surprised if you have to add a monetary incentive.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 2:39 PM

2015-02-01T14:39:57-05:00

SGT,
I would like to say being a Soldier you will certainly miss a lot of anniversaries, holidays, but most importantly you are going miss time with your family members. There has been many occasions that I could not spend time with my loved ones, I am currently stationed in italy right now. I haven't seen my kids (My son and daughter are grown) in 4 years. I also have a 2 year old granddaughter that I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. I have a question for you. Did you submit leave or a pass for Valentines day? I understand that you and your wife had plans, but you as a Soldier have the responsibility of providing for your family and it seems that your means of providing for your family is through the Army. So with that being said, Sometimes we have to suck the things that we don't necessarily like IE duties, deployments and details. Your pulling CQ during Valentines Day is bad, but things could always be worst. Also, if you know that you have duty on valentines day. Plan something for the day before, of the day after your duty. One more thing, I have Brigade Staff duty during the Super Bowl and I will have two NCOs and one Soldier on duty with me. Sometimes we just have to deal with the things we don't like.

Response by PO2 Jonathan Scharff made Feb 1 at 2015 3:23 PM

2015-02-01T15:23:20-05:00

I pretty much agree with the overwhelming response posted above so I won't reiterate. I think you get the point! However, I will say that as an older guy, husband, father, former service member, and current business owner, most people get a little too wrapped up into dates. Valentine's Day doesn't matter my friend, nor do birthdays, Christmas or any other "calendar" day. What does matter is letting those that you care about and love know it every day. I won't give you a list of all the "special occasions" that I have missed do to service or work. But I promise you that when it happened, I have done everything I could to make up for those missed dates by showing that person how special they were to me as soon as it was possible. I will argue that it means more to them when you are willing to do that, even if it isn't on "that day" but it meant so much to you that you want to still do it when you could. Time with your loved ones matters, what date that falls on isn't as important. In summation, in this case, request the time off, and show your wife how much you care about her whenever that can be planned. I promise you she won't care that it isn't on a specific date.

P.S. Respect your wife, tell her you love her every day, buy her flowers all year round, not just in February, and I promise you that some day many years from now you will be able to give a young man advice after being married to the same wonderful women for 30 years like I am doing for you. ;)

Response by LTC Robert McKenna made Feb 1 at 2015 4:07 PM

2015-02-01T16:07:39-05:00

Duty rosters are (supposed to be) set via the DA-6. Valentine's Day and Presidents Day weekend are on the calendar well in advance, plan an put in a pass/DA-31 well in advance.

Lesson learned for the future.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 5:25 PM

2015-02-01T17:25:05-05:00

I'm afraid that you are not going to get much sympathy from this group on your CQ on Valentines Day. 99% of us have missed birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, weddings, and even funerals because of our status as a Non Commissioned Officer and Soldier. It sucks and it can even hurt and be painful to experience but it is a part of the life that we chose and accepted with each additional promotion.

There is a reason that your squad leader chose you to be on his detail with him - probably because his thoughts were of the lower Enlisted Soldiers and allowing them to be off. We put our needs ahead of those we are charged with. When you are in the position to do the same then perhaps you will make a different decision than he did until then we salute and carry on.

Response by SCPO Eric Floyd made Feb 1 at 2015 5:28 PM

2015-02-01T17:28:12-05:00

I can't believe someone would even throw this out to the "public"....seriously. An approved leave request would have been insurance enough. Move along.

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Feb 1 at 2015 5:54 PM

2015-02-01T17:54:41-05:00

Why why do you guys make it so easy for me??? I shall proceed.

Man that sucks! What a jerk that squad leader is. Shouldn't you be able to use your grade or position to attain the pleasure of being able to take your wife out the day before Valentines day? I mean how unreasonable is that? That's what "joes" are for right? To do the stuff I don't want to do because it's not fair. I have plans and they are single and have no right to being off the day BEFORE valentines day. Who says they can have a date? Im married for God's sake, and that's everyone else fault, and I need to be accommodated.
I say YES! Please use the open door policy but please record the encounter on your cell phone too so we can all enjoy it.

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Feb 1 at 2015 5:55 PM

2015-02-01T17:55:49-05:00

Your first entry on the CQ Log should be "Im just here so I don't get fined."

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Feb 1 at 2015 6:00 PM

2015-02-01T18:00:42-05:00

Here's another one for ya.

Man that sucks! Just imagine, all those guys over in Afghanistan right now who made plans to, I don't know....see their kids born. Why should they have to be over there when there's guy like you just chilling complaining about fake holidays? Or better yet, the day BEFORE a fake holiday. How unfair is that?

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Feb 1 at 2015 6:02 PM

2015-02-01T18:02:17-05:00

Man, if there was only a form you could have filled out ahead of time to make sure this didn't happen. Then of Friday you could just "leave." Yea that's what they should call it; a leave form. Don't worry, when you become an NCO, you'll find out about these things and you won't have to be everyone else's problem. Oh wait.....

Response by PO3 John Jeter made Feb 1 at 2015 6:13 PM

2015-02-01T18:13:31-05:00

With all due respect Sgt, I'm surprised to see this coming from an NCO. I empathize with your predicament but at least your subordinates won't be able to complain when you have to make an unpopular assignment on them in the future.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 6:32 PM

2015-02-01T18:32:47-05:00

Reminds me of when I assigned all of my LTs (single and married) to guard the tanks we left on the range on Valentines Day night.
There is a long story to this one, but at the end of the day I treated both single and married the same.

Response by SGT John Galbraith made Feb 1 at 2015 7:54 PM

2015-02-01T19:54:25-05:00

First off, Valentines day is not a federally recognized holiday. Banks are still open for a reason bud. Second, marital status has NOTHING to do with duties to be performed. I have been married for almost 20 years now to the same woman and she was there for 15 of my 16 years of service. Back then, she was married to a guy in the Army. That meant that if I had CQ, Staff Duty, ammo guard, or whatever.. that is where I was no matter what. I spent a couple Christmas days on detail. Now, as a civilian.. I expect holidays off.. but not Valentines day.

Being an NCO does not entitle you to special treatment above your troops either. A leader would be working to minimize the "stupid" rolling down hill and protecting your troops. Maybe those single soldiers had plans to link up with someone on V day.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 11:12 PM

2015-02-01T23:12:12-05:00

What in the world does being married verses being Single have anything to do with you pulling CQ? Unless I'm not understanding something, didn't you say you had CQ on the 13th? So you will be getting off the morning of the 14th. With a good nap, you can start your Valentine's day off early, earlier than most. You have CQ on the best day, the day before the Holiday instead of being stuck at work long hours on the 14th or worse, you could have had CQ on the 14th!! You think you are the only Soldier, NCO that was married and had duty on a holiday? You have alot of growing up to do. Its a priviliege to have all of those folks on CQ with you and maybe your NCO is looking out for you. You will be with him instead of at the office or wherever by yourself with the Soldiers. But on the other hand, from your post on here, I see why your Squad Leader keeps you close!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 1 at 2015 11:17 PM

2015-02-01T23:17:23-05:00

Take it to the PSG first. I would have switched you, but said you owed the guy who takes your place

Response by SFC Douglas Davis made Feb 1 at 2015 11:17 PM

2015-02-01T23:17:50-05:00

Sounds to me like you need to learn how to read and understand a DA form 6 as well as learn how to submit a DA Form 31. I missed the first 8 Christmases or Bew Years after I got married. Suck it up and drive on.

Response by SSG Brenda Garibaldi made Feb 1 at 2015 11:39 PM

2015-02-01T23:39:10-05:00

SERIOUSLY. .....at least you have someone whom will be waiting for you when your done. I've been a nurse for over 20 years do you really want me to tell you how many Christmases Thanksgivings birthdays Valentines days I've missed because it was my job to take care of sick patients . "oh sorry sir I can't treat your cardiac arrest and I'm sorry your heart stopped but I have to go home and go on a date with my husband.". sorry just hit a nerve

Response by SFC Kayla Sondrol made Feb 1 at 2015 11:39 PM

2015-02-01T23:39:49-05:00

Lead from the front, as an NCO you need to make sacrifices, and the higher ranking you get the more sacrifices you'll need to make. You'll not always get what you want, especially if you didn't sign a DA-31. Just do the duty and end up doing your plans on a different day. There is nothing special about Valentine's day anyways, it is a commercialized holiday.

Response by SPC Dani Hook made Feb 2 at 2015 5:21 AM

2015-02-02T05:21:59-05:00

I honestly don't know how to respond...I usually come up with an awkward "no thank you" or a smart ass comment like "I don't thank me I thank you for your tax dollars paying for my education"

Response by MSgt Jim Wolverton made Feb 2 at 2015 6:15 AM

2015-02-02T06:15:08-05:00

Obviously you should be looking out for your subordinates but why does the Army still have CQ? Soldiers are adults are they not? This is how you treat children, not adults.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 6:40 AM

2015-02-02T06:40:43-05:00

Sorry, but you are not going to get sympathy from me. Regardless of rank, CQ is a duty that has to be done. If you did not get an approved leave, you were 'free game' to get picked up for detail. My husband (active duty E5) is working all day the 14 and 15; of the last 8 years together I can't honestly say I remember celebrating Valentines Day. It is what it is. Take a pass later on and make a special memory - you don't need an a holiday to have a special night out.

Response by Sgt Jennifer Mohler made Feb 2 at 2015 7:42 AM

2015-02-02T07:42:09-05:00

Hmm, yes. Next time be sure your official request to be gone is approved before you start complaining. Been in 6 years, you should know this by now.

Response by SGT(P) Kenneth Jones made Feb 2 at 2015 8:04 AM

2015-02-02T08:04:51-05:00

This burns my ass I am married do you know how many valentine days birthdays and anniversarys I missed. Come on SGT suck it up and role on you do remember the creed you said to become an NCO place my soldiers need before my own do you remeber that or did you say it for shits and giggles. Really SGT your whinning about CQ. My first duty station was Ft Irwin do you think for one sec when we have rotation that I whinned about going to the box to whoop on the RTU so they can go back and cry about Valentines day. Come on and throwing joes under the bus really how about you go back to being a joe so you dont have the duties of an NCO cause evidently you cant hack it.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 8:05 AM

2015-02-02T08:05:45-05:00

As you started your comment: "I am a married E5" You need to be a SGT and drive on. Leaders will make good or bad decisions. A good leader will stick with their decisions, bad or wrong.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 8:09 AM

2015-02-02T08:09:03-05:00

SGT Baba,

Sorry but I have no sympathy for your post. As a fellow NCO I take pride in what I do. I take care of Soldiers, by you complaining and throwing your Soldiers under bus and complaining that they are "joes" and that they need to do it is bad. Not only that, but the fact that you are using the "open door policy" to discuss about your plans with your 1SG/CDR is too extreme. This needs to be handled at the lowest level and in the house. 1SG/CDR have more issues to deal with than a NON COMMISIONED OFFICER wanting to go celebrate his anniversary when he got put on duty. Reschedule, it's a 4 day weekend back in the States. Adjust, your wife should understand. Good luck and I hope you work it out.

Response by SSG Richard Reilly made Feb 2 at 2015 9:07 AM

2015-02-02T09:07:53-05:00

Regret is what SGT Brandon Baba is feeling about this post now that all answers are pretty much the same. Rallypoint...the worse place to complian about a duty when you are an NCO and suppose to lead by example. Does your Single E4 have plans? Does your E6 have plans? Did you consider taking leave to make sure you aren't ont he duty roster? Or maybe you put in for leave and you were already on so it was denied. I'll assume that. In that case sorry for your troubles. I would take some motrin and drink water.

Response by MSG Eddie N. made Feb 2 at 2015 9:13 AM

2015-02-02T09:13:19-05:00

You could always burn leave if its that important to you.

Response by SGM Jeff Bullard made Feb 2 at 2015 9:23 AM

2015-02-02T09:23:58-05:00

Even at the Platoon level there needs to be a DA 6 ran to ensure that no one is pulling anymore duty than anyone else. Your 1SG uses it to ensure that duties are given out fairly. But there is no special treatments given to married Soldiers verses Single. Yes it seems strange that a SGT is pulling CQ runner, what is your PSG doing? He should be the one running the Platoon and the DA 6.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 10:18 AM

2015-02-02T10:18:52-05:00

Sounds to me that you should have planned more and put in a leave or pass form. I am a married SFC and I pull Staff Duty when needed, I did it on Christmas Eve last year. Married or single has no bearing on the issue when it comes to accomplishing the mission.

Response by SFC Scott Fifield made Feb 2 at 2015 10:23 AM

2015-02-02T10:23:10-05:00

In my career it was alway a common courtesy for unmarried and most of the time single military personal to volunteer for duty on the holidays so married family personal could enjoy the holiday with there family. As Specialist Thundercloud stated a DA 31 would have locked you into the time off. Another option that use to be a common occurance was for personal to volunteer to pull your duty for $20.00 in the day, that might be more closer to $ 50.00 today. But if you do pay someone to take your duty make sure that you still clear it through your chain of command. Hope you get to spent the trip with your new wife.

Response by CSM Carlson C. made Feb 2 at 2015 10:37 AM

2015-02-02T10:37:58-05:00

Ha.... With all due respect Sergeant, suck it up. I and a lot of your brothers and sisters have had to work, birthdays, anniversaries, and back to back CQs. Does it suck? Yes. But, I guaran-dang--tee that the CQ scheduled was posted and if your command allows it, get someone to take your shift. The fact that you said there are some single E-4's in the barracks makes me question who you actually put first in certain situations. I've pulled shifts for my Soldiers who had birthdays and anniversaries, because I as the particular leader that I am made that a priority. However, you cant fault this CQ roster because you failed to put in leave or a pass prior to its dissemination. So, I'm sorry but you failed to plan in an appropriate time frame. But think about that E-1 who just got married and is deployed right now, missing his/her spouse or kid.... Puts things in perspective huh?

Favoritism, will destroy any organization. If everyone is treated equally crappy, happiness ensues.

Response by SFC James Liedtka made Feb 2 at 2015 11:07 AM

2015-02-02T11:07:57-05:00

I can not even begin to count the number of Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays, ETC. that I have missed since I joined the Army. If missing something as unimportant as a made up holiday in February to sell chocolates and flowers is such a big deal... maybe you need a different profession.

Response by SPC Joshua H. made Feb 2 at 2015 11:38 AM

2015-02-02T11:38:09-05:00

Wow....Just wow...

If you are going to whine like this what kind of example are you setting for your soldiers?

Did you put in for leave? If not, guess what, you're on duty.

The phrase "Suck it up buttercup" comes to mind.

Response by SGT Monika Sloan made Feb 2 at 2015 12:07 PM

2015-02-02T12:07:52-05:00

Pretty much everything that needs to be said has already been said. So, I won't beat a dead horse. While it sucks that you are missing out on Valentine's Day with your wife, this is probably only one of many holidays/celebrations you will miss out on. It's a fact of the lifestyle. Complaining on a public forum will not change this and only looks petulant, especially coming from an NCO.

Response by LTC Paul Labrador made Feb 2 at 2015 12:15 PM

2015-02-02T12:15:14-05:00

Will echo what everyone else said: without a DA31, you are at risk for having to work on "special days". Have you asked any of your fellow NCO's to trade days? If no one is willing to trade, suck it up and learn from this.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 12:35 PM

2015-02-02T12:35:03-05:00

I am sorry SGT, but I would have to agree with the others. I don't think going to the 1SG will help your case either, if anything you may end up doing the walk of shame from his/her office. Instead of complaining about it, why do you ask one of the other soldiers to switch you. Key would is "ask," not demand. You might be surprised that junior enlisted soldier, might be willing to do you a solid, especially if you are and NCO that they respect and look up to. As soldiers we tend to have each others backs more often than you may realize.

Also, remember DUTY comes first. Completing the mission trumps all other objectives. It is your duty SGT to make sure that the job is done, it is a duty to take care of your family, however, it is not a duty of the military to celebrate Valentine's Day. If your squad leader will allow the switch, take the chance to ask. If not, there is always such a thing as a rain check and the plan for another weekend. These are some disappointments that a military spouse will have to get accustomed to.

On a positive note, congratulations on to you and your new wife.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 1:01 PM

2015-02-02T13:01:20-05:00

If you didn't put in a DA 31 for a weekend pass, then expect to get tagged for anything. Many of us have missed wedding anniversaries, spouse birthdays, kids birthdays, you name it. It is the Army way. Single or married, that should not matter. I've been a single parent and believe me, getting tagged for CQ on the weekends once a month was the norm for me which led me to have to find a babysitter. Fair or not, it's the way it is.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 1:13 PM

2015-02-02T13:13:26-05:00

Sergeant,

From what I can see, it seems like the overwhelming majority of OUR comrades agree that your post was inconsiderate and immature. I personally believe that each and every one of us has already and will most likely continue to pull duties or be a part of details that we don't want to do.
When I arrived at my first duty station, I was assigned to the Installation Support Detachment for 3.5 months, and to be honest, I was less than thrilled at the idea of having little to no time to myself or my family. I chose to change my attitude and decided that it would be a GREAT learning opportunity, a perfect place/time to foster and improve work relationships, and a great self-development opportunity. I participated in countless honor funerals, color guard appearances, etc, and it's helped my career. You never know what gems of knowledge/insight you might gain from pulling a duty. You never know what you might learn from someone, or what you could teach someone else - just from being at the right place at the right time.
Most importantly, I've learned that the Army (and the military, itself) is VERY small and you never know who is observing you and your actions. Do YOU know how many junior Soldiers look up to you right now? It's impossible to tell. Do you know how many senior NCOs and officers would vouch for you? Probably not. It is actions like these - posting about seemingly "unfair" duties that take away from your character and integrity. Sure, everyone in your current unit may not have seen this post, but in the age of the Internet, word (especially negative word) travels fast. The next group of Soldiers you encounter may have heard of you before you even officially meet, and as we all know, first impression is everything - especially in OUR profession.
If you take nothing else from RallyPoint, please remember that it is usually best to air these types of complaints to your mirror in the privacy of your home, and come into work with a positive attitude. Would you advise your Soldiers to react to this situation the way you did? Would you feel the same hearing this complaint from someone else in your Chain? The bigger picture is that OUR profession almost completely revolves around sacrifice and putting others before ourselves.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 1:25 PM

2015-02-02T13:25:36-05:00

Are you kidding me? You think you should receive special consideration based on the fact that you are married? That is why the Army had such a high divorce rate for years. Soldiers would marry the first thing that came along to just get out of the barracks and out of hey you's and the exact thing you are talking about.
Buck up young Sergeant. You are a NCO. You have more than two weeks notice of the duty roster. There is nothing wrong here. Do your job and stop complaining. Your 1SG (if he is a good 1SG) will laugh you out of his office after providing you a proper wire brushing for sniveling. You are looking at your rank as having privilege instead of a responsibility.
The lack of common sense in this case is yours. "Let's screw a single guy over, who may have a girlfriend, or may have had plans to go out and look for one that weekend, because I am more special since I am married" If you truly believe what you wrote - you should use the open door policy to see your First Sergeant. The discussion should center around a reduction board, because you are not ready to be a NonCommissioned Officer.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 1:42 PM

2015-02-02T13:42:03-05:00

If you don't like missing Valentines day, then you're REALLY not going to like missing birthdays and anniversaries. You'll loathe missing Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Ya know, while working watch one year, I had to work on Christmas when there was a single guy with no kids that got the day off. Guess what? That's part of the profession of arms.

It's part of being in the military. I don't mean to sound rude but suck it up. You've joined the wrong profession to complain about working on inconvenient days. When you complain about working CQ, do be thankful that you're home with your wife, state side, instead of being in AFG.

Response by SGT Steven Smith made Feb 2 at 2015 1:45 PM

2015-02-02T13:45:18-05:00

Honestly this is one of the many reasons I got out of the Army. We as NCOs should always take care of the soldiers regardless if they are married or not. I had plenty of SFCs/SSGs/ and SGTs at my last duty station who were quit to put Joe out there to do something so they could take off to go home and relax. Why not just take her out next weekend? The days don't matter just the time that you spend with her should matter.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 2:08 PM

2015-02-02T14:08:42-05:00

It doesn't look that bad SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 2:08 PM

2015-02-02T14:08:44-05:00

First and foremost, Soldier E-1, E-2, E-3, E-4, E-5, E-6, E-7, E-8, E-9 are pay grade's, not rank! When you refer to an enlisted Soldier by their rank it should look something like, "I am a married Sergeant." Based off your inability to properly refer to military rank and horrible example of what a Non-Commissioned Officer should be, know, and do in your crybaby misrepresentation of the world's greatest Army if I were your Platoon Sergeant, Detachment Sergeant or First Sergeant I would recommend you be reviewed by an administrative reduction board for possibly being reduced in rank as you sound like a self righteous idiot who feel's that everyone owes you their lives because the world is all about you.

The United States Army is an all volunteer branch of our Country's armed forces and the last I checked you had to raise your right hand, take the oath of enlistment, the same time while leadership does it's best it is impossible for every Soldier to have their cake and eat it to. The men and women who make up our Army are not Joes while their marital status is neither here nor there your complete disregard for military customs and courtesies is quite evident to say the least.

You really got under my skin with your statement that lower ranking enlisted Soldiers should be given duty before you do to you being newly married. If the Army wanted you to have a wife they would have issued one too you! Soldier's are not number's and our rank does not define who we are as we progress through the ranks. We always place the mission and our Soldier's needs before that of our own.

Life is not fair while this forum is not the appropriate place to seek guidance such as you have!

I served as a Sergeant First Class in a First Sergeant position for a couple of year's. First Sergeant's are Senior Enlisted Advisor's to the Commander, chain of command and Non-Commissioned Officer Support Channel... as a Non-Commissioned Officer you give our Non-Commissioned Officer Corps a bad name while slandering your First Sergeant's name is not just unbecoming it is quite unprofessional.

Soldier you are not a Non-Commissioned Officer as you are what we call a welfare recipient who want's, want's, want's while only caring for yourself!

You are everything I cannot stand with this new generation of Soldier's who feel they are entitled to everything without having to do anything...I hope and pray someone rehabilitates you as you are out in left field sleeping!!!

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 2:33 PM

2015-02-02T14:33:10-05:00

Should have made a formal leave request in LeaveWeb.

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Feb 2 at 2015 3:12 PM

2015-02-02T15:12:43-05:00

I don't understand the thumbs down. Isn't this a place to have an honest conversation without judgment. The post isn't hostile.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 3:51 PM

2015-02-02T15:51:22-05:00

I really wish you were my Soldier so I can set you straight and get that sense of entitlement out of you. You are the perfect example of someone that thinks that their rank gives them privileges that your "joes" do not deserve. I am guessing that this is why you call yourself a E-5 instead of a Sergeant or a NCO.

P.S. Attached is the NCO creed, you might want start reading it

Response by SSgt Kevin Chavez made Feb 2 at 2015 4:07 PM

2015-02-02T16:07:01-05:00

The way I look at it, worse things could happen. I stood post on mids at the American Embassy's in Belgrade, Serbia and Muscat Oman over a 3 year period, I stood Eves on Thanksgiving day on those same years, too many examples to list. I did it because is was my duty, I actually volunteered for most of those because I was a senior Sgt or A/Detachment Commander. Its not fun, sure its sad, but life moves on. If you cant work out a roster switch, I would recommend you reach down and grab ahold and stand the line. Not being harsh, just giving advice because we have ALL been there one time or another. S/F

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-02-02T17:02:08-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member what SGT Private RallyPoint Member said. It is all about the DA-31. If you wanted off you put one in, whether it be for a pass or leave. Once approved you are good, if not you unknowingly opened yourself up to it. Also, there is a few discussions on here about treating married and single Soldiers fairly. Just because they are not married does not mean that they do not have a significant other. I the past we have done volunteers. I volunteered during OBC to take staff duty for a day during a holiday weekend as I was not planning on going anywhere. It is about looking out for each other. If you have someone to trade with (trade not force) than there may be something that you can offer. If not, explain to your wife and make plans for after you get off duty. You said day before Valentine's Day. You still have the rest of the weekend. Put in a DA31 and enjoy it.

Response by Maj Daniel Rubadue made Feb 2 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-02-02T17:02:23-05:00

duty first

Response by Sheryl Verhulst made Feb 2 at 2015 5:03 PM

2015-02-02T17:03:30-05:00

It's not desirable for you but it's a part of life. You will find this in the civilian world too. Heck, I'm working this Valentine's Day too! I've worked every single holiday for as long as I can remember. You just get used to it and make plans to celebrate on a different night.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 5:17 PM

2015-02-02T17:17:36-05:00

Just sayin'

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 5:23 PM

2015-02-02T17:23:37-05:00

Since I'm a couple days late on this one and SGT Baba has been "thoroughly and properly" counseled, hopefully he will not make the same mistake next year. Now use this as a learning experience to share with all the Soldiers in your squad now, your section, your platoon in the future and as a First Sergeant way down the road, should you stay in the Army and progress thru the ranks. Teach it forward. But be sure you do in a manner that relflects that you didn't do what you you should have to ensure you got the leave or pass for Valentines Day.

Unless things have changed over time, there should be a DA6 for CQ runners, be it ran at Platoon or Company Level. If there is not, I would enquire about it, but suggest you wait till after you pull your duty and not labled any more of a whinner than already been done here on RP (tough group here...no sympathy).

When/if you're ever responsible for using the DA6 for duties; there are several other things you can do. You can inquire with your Soldiers if anyone is willing to pull the duty for someone who may be married, but not make it a requi rement. Keep your roster on the up and up. One thing that I did for the Major Holidays (Xmas, New Years, Easter, 4th July, Veterans Day, MLK Day, President's Day, Thanksgiving, etc) is to break a 24 hour duty into two 12 hour duties. That way everyone still got to part of that day with their family anyway. I had no problem with Soldiers changing duties as long as the Platoon Sergeant said it was OK. I did not just arbitruary let them change.

I'm also wondering, when did Valentines Day become a Holiday? Not sure how your 1SG would respond if you did take it to him, but I can assure you, if it were me, I would have a lot say about it....to get a good laugh throughout the unit, but that would be only after I got from ROFLMAO! Thank you very much, you have provided me with my daily laugh for the day....now Man up, tell your little lady that you have duty because you did not put in a leave or pass request. But don't forget to let her know, you'll make it up to her! Good luck!

Lastly, shoot SGT Private RallyPoint Member a Connection Request....she would be a good RP Pal to have, as she is all over the top on this one. Put her comment in the back of your head and don't forget it.

Response by MAJ Ronnie Reams made Feb 2 at 2015 6:09 PM

2015-02-02T18:09:34-05:00

Aren't details like that supposed to be on DA-6s, one for weekdays and one for weekends? Never heard of just picking folks. However, back in the day when I was enlisted and wanted to be off when scheduled for duty, I either traded with someone or, failing in that, paid someone to do it for me.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 6:41 PM

2015-02-02T18:41:08-05:00

SGT Baba,

In the interest of not beating you up too bad, which I did give you a thumbs down by the way, lets put it in the nicest way possible.

You are an NCO and as such the example. On top of that, the squad leader obviously chose you for being dependable, reliable, and getting the job done. I don t think he just drew names out of the hat, he s probably assembling his A team.

I could be shooting out in the dark here, but that s what I am thinking occurred here. Lets use Rally Point for something other than whining about CQ.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 6:46 PM

2015-02-02T18:46:33-05:00

The best thing you can do for yourself is to read the manuals, especially with duties and responsibilities that affects you and your troops. With that said, this is the wrong place to complain about duty and throwing your Soldier(s) under the bus, this is an example of poor leadership.

Response by SSG Leonard Johnson made Feb 2 at 2015 8:23 PM

2015-02-02T20:23:56-05:00

Dude I'm sorry man....your wrong....you are Soldier and a human being with Natural Rights. Those single Soldiers are human beings with Natural Rights. It makes no difference if your single or not.
I'm retired and used to own a business. What would happen it I saved all the candy loads for the married drivers then give all crappy loads to a single driver?
Plus my unit I just retired from here in FT Carson, runs 2 NCO's and one EM for duty
also where is the DA 6?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 8:40 PM

2015-02-02T20:40:05-05:00

You broke Cardinal rule #1. You ALWAYS go on leave or pass for Valentine's Day. Why? Because IT WILL ALWAYS be your luck that your 1SG/PSG will stick you with duty. Let this be a learning lesson. Very special days (Valentines, birthdays, anniversaries) you go on leave. You have to remember your spouse is the one who has to take the brunt of you not being home because you got duty or you're out in the field

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 8:42 PM

2015-02-02T20:42:40-05:00

1-800-FLOWERS or http://www.1800flowers.com ... They do Miltary Discount too. When I was deployed, I used to order my wife flowers and teddy bears for valentines, birthday, Mother's Day, and whenever I thought it was appropriate. She gotta understand your profession, right?

Response by SSG Jason Hyatt made Feb 2 at 2015 9:18 PM

2015-02-02T21:18:00-05:00

I have to say as you used pay grade in place of your rank that you believe that is all you are, a pay grade, not a leader of Soldiers and not a Non-Commissioned Officer. I read your "complaint" as you would rather place your needs over the needs of your Soldiers. My only response to you is this, become a NCO in all aspects or get out, you are not doing your Soldiers or our Army any good with your way of thinking.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 9:24 PM

2015-02-02T21:24:53-05:00

Sounds like you need to "Buck Up" SGT. Welcome to the U.S Army!

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Feb 2 at 2015 11:17 PM

2015-02-02T23:17:58-05:00

Are you seriously bitching about CQ and then wanting to throw the lower enlisted under the bus because you 'made plans'?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 11:27 PM

2015-02-02T23:27:50-05:00

SGT,

Would your next question going to be:
Why my leadership block on the NCOER is all Fd up?

I hope, for your sake that no one of your rater is on RP

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 11:32 PM

2015-02-02T23:32:27-05:00

1. There must be some discipline issues going on with in your unit for Staff Sergeants to pull CQ. Be an NCO and help solve these issues. Enforce the standard! 2. If you make a career out of the Army, learn how to utilize a DA 6 if you would like to run duties differently as you climb the chain. 3. The Army doesn't recognize Valentines day.

Response by SSG Leonard J W. made Feb 2 at 2015 11:49 PM

2015-02-02T23:49:31-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member, it looks to me like your paragraph summarizes into one word: "Waah!" I have duty ON Valentine's Day. I'm not complaining, and neither is my wife. As SGT Private RallyPoint Member mentioned: "If you don't have an approved DA-31, then you did not 'make plans.'" Get used to the idea of duty, and have your squad leader's back like your first sergeant. Speaking out against your squad leader makes you questionable as his follower. You are a Sergeant: a leader of Soldiers. Discriminating against your Soldiers because of their marital status is very small and selfish of you! It also makes you questionable as a leader. You should be doing everything in your power to protect them. It makes me (and probably every other leader) wonder how you would treat them in combat. Would you ask them to dismount and endure a firefight while you sit in your armored vehicle? Would you send them into the culvert to find the IED while you stand behind in the "safe zone?" Don't ask them to do things that you aren't willing to do. Do yourself a favor and read ADRP 6-22. Make it a point to understand what kind of leaders the Army is looking for. Study the Creed of the Non-commissioned Officer and try to live it. Then study the Charge of the Non-commissioned Officer and confirm your status, if you can.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 12:18 AM

2015-02-03T00:18:28-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member Hypothetically if I was your leadership and you approached me with this request, I would say sure. You can have your time off. Then I would go and get the duty roster and say, ok who do you want to screw over? Because that's in fact what you would be doing. You would be screwing over one of your own. I would hope then you would see the error of your ways and retract the request. Then I would follow up and offer you a possible solution that if you can find someone to volunteer to take your place, you would have your time off. I would expect you to return the favor in the future and I would start getting irritated if it became regular occurrence.

The thing is that irritated me being single is that attitude that somehow I don't have any life outside of work and can be the one to get a last minute task because someone pulled the wife card out.

At some point in your career you may be faced with similar decisions. How you go about it will be testament to your leadership. Leaders need to be equitable and not allowing favoritism for any reason. This does not mean you just blow someone off. But it means that you try to come up with best outcome that is not marginalized anyone in your unit. Like I mentioned if you found a volunteer to take your place I would let you go if I was in your chain. But I would not want to force someone into it. Barring extenuating circumstances, like a family emergency, which can happen to single people as well. People are more willing to step up to help out if they do not think they are needlessly being pushed into just because they are not married.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Feb 3 at 2015 12:19 AM

2015-02-03T00:19:49-05:00

Obviously SGT Private RallyPoint Member had nailed this! I will only add that pesky little thing called "The Creed of the Non-Commissioned Officer", maybe you should take another peek at it sometime.

What I would suggest, get with your Soldiers (not 'Joes', remember where you came from), maybe one of them would be willing to help you out. Based on your post, I would imagine your Soldiers are falling all over themselves to help you out, but you never know. You could then volunteer for the next detail that your Soldier has to pull.
As far as going to your 1SG...probably not a great idea for EXACTLY the reasons SGT Private RallyPoint Member has already brought up.

Response by CPL Joshua Meece made Feb 3 at 2015 12:21 AM

2015-02-03T00:21:04-05:00

Just pull the Duty and deal with it. It's the military man. And wow how did you get promoted. Who would promote a JOE that don't want to do his job that his leader assigned him to do? You should take your rank off and give it to one of those e4 Joe's whom would show you how to lead by example

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 12:46 AM

2015-02-03T00:46:45-05:00

The DA-6 is never wrong. But I'm sure someone single NCO would change with that person.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 1:48 AM

2015-02-03T01:48:41-05:00

Its called duty and someone has to pull it! Noone is above the DA6 with out a prior exemption being turned in or an emergency situation.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 2:17 AM

2015-02-03T02:17:18-05:00

I'm a single parent and I have given up a lot of time with my daughter to complete the mission & she understands & she's only 6 &1/2. I volunteer to do SD on the weekend so I can help her with her homework during the week. So perhaps you need to suck it up & drive on. There are better things to complain about.

Response by SGT Steve Oakes made Feb 3 at 2015 6:16 AM

2015-02-03T06:16:49-05:00

WTF? As SFC Kemp pointed out you should be thankful your not deployed right now. You can have your night out the next day or the next week. We still have brothers and sisters in the f#@cking sand dodging IEDs and your ass is complaining about a night of CQ? If I was your squad leader or 1SG you would be pulling a lot more CQ and any other duties I could find after reading this disgrace.

Response by SSG Coy Harris made Feb 3 at 2015 6:22 AM

2015-02-03T06:22:05-05:00

This reminds me of the time that my Unit Training NCO scheduled us for the range on Valentine's Day, including a night fire. There were a lot of disgruntled Soldiers at the range that day. We all had to reschedule our Valentine dinner date. Sometimes timing isn't in our favor, you just have to deal with the circumstances and and keep going.

Response by SFC Douglas Duckett made Feb 3 at 2015 7:39 AM

2015-02-03T07:39:15-05:00

Fair? What's fair about being an Non-Commissioned Officer? Really Sergeant (using term loosely)? NCOs are supposed to lead by example, they take the orders of their superiors as if they were one's own.

There is noting "fair" about being in the military. Your leaders have taken into account the situation and I am sure they used all the available information to make a decision. For Christ's sake, it is only Valentines Day.

Be proud they selected you, an E-5, to hold the position that is normally held for E-6s. Use this assignment to perform your duties as professionally as you can, maybe they might let you have the next REAL holiday off.

Response by SSG Buddy Kemper made Feb 3 at 2015 8:51 AM

2015-02-03T08:51:12-05:00

Suck it up, bro. I feel for ya...but everyday you aren't deployed and home safe with your family is Valentines Day, Christmas, July 4th and New Years eve. Postpone your plans till your next off day, show up that next day from CQ with roses and a card& drive on.

And thanks for your service. And tell your wife thanks for being a military wife too.

-Kemp

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 10:06 AM

2015-02-03T10:06:22-05:00

Valentine's Day isn't even a real Holiday anyway...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 10:14 AM

2015-02-03T10:14:55-05:00

Come on SGT. Yes we all have needs and wants for holidays and special occasions, but sometimes we can't get our way. You're a NCO. It should be in your veins to suck it up and drive on. He will probably reward you and give you some time off later down the road. But don't get on RP and whine about CQ. Lots of people are not not with their loved ones on this day. Just celebrate it a week earlier or a couple days later. You sound like the new generation of Soldiers the ones enlisted between 2009-now.. Don't let your Soldiers see this please.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 11:13 AM

2015-02-03T11:13:16-05:00

As soon as I read, "married E-5" I knew we were in for a ride. E-5 is a pay grade and Sergeant is a rank. Somewhere in your career your leadership decided that you showed the POTENTIAL to become a Sergeant. You are complaining about something that happens to all of us in the military. Had you planned ahead and put in the DA31 last month, you wouldn't be in this predicament. It really makes us look bad when people on RallyPoint degrade someone by calling them names like "buttercup". I know it is a new Army and 10 years ago degrading someone to get your point across was an everyday occurence but come on, we are better than that now. Treat all Soldiers and civilians with dignity and respect. You posted this to get answers and you have received a plethora of different ways to go about your business. Utilizing the open door policy on something like this will do nothing but make you look bad. The only ammo you would have is if you actually turned in a Leave/Pass request. If you did then you should utilize your chain of command to figure out the status of it. If you did not, which I am guessing you didn't, then you would raise a stink and bring un-wanted attention on yourself because you planned on going out of town without your chain of command knowing. My advice to you would be ask your Squad Leader or Section Leader if he would allow you to ask someone else to cover down for your shift. If he doesn't then you will have to take it, put it in your pocket, and drive on. Take it as a lesson for next time. Always plan ahead. Keep your head up because this isn't that big of a deal. If your wife gets upset just explain to her that things like this are going to happen a lot in the Army. As you go further in the ranks the more responsibilities you will take on and you will need her to be your rock. Hope all goes well with you and your career.

Response by SSG Peter Ludlum made Feb 3 at 2015 11:18 AM

2015-02-03T11:18:39-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member Although I am not understanding why an E-5 let alone 2 E-5's are runners but there must be a reason. Your an NCO deal with it or you can trade those stripes in for a sham shield and you can avoid duty. A DA6 is the only tool used by the 1SG to track and keep it fair. In my day if you drew duty and had plans you could switch off with a fellow soldier. What is most disturbing to me is that you threw E-4's under the bus. What does that show them? It shows them that once you make E-5 you can push off your duties unto them. A leader leads by example and from the front. If I was your SL or your PS I would have you on duty for every SP4 until you learn a little humility and leadership. I spent may a day doing extra's because I was single and the married folks would get to go home and we barracks folks got stuck cleaning up after returning. I did it and never complained. There is so much more I can say on this but I shall remain as professional as I can.

Response by SPC William Heads made Feb 3 at 2015 11:58 AM

2015-02-03T11:58:26-05:00

Response by PO1 Ken Johnson made Feb 3 at 2015 12:16 PM

2015-02-03T12:16:20-05:00

In 17 years, I spent my anniversary with my wife four times... according to the calendar. As far as we were concerned, we spent 17 together. You have to be "flexible" when on active duty. One year, our anniversary moved from June to October due to a deployment to the Western Pacific. {Now in all fairness, on the real Anniversary date, I was a misserable rascal to be around on the ship. Even the Command Master Chief told me I was "mad as an old wet hen" <--- I'd never heard that one before!}

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 12:24 PM

2015-02-03T12:24:34-05:00

If you got off of CA on Valentines Day for 6 years, consider it 'your' turn. Suck it up, just another day in the military. Your new wife should be indoctrinated into the ways of the military, first things she needs to learn: FragO....change #99...pay someone to pull your duty, but you probably won't get much sympathy here. Just saying....we've all had the duty assignment.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 12:26 PM

2015-02-03T12:26:11-05:00

We called these days, 'character-builders' in my day.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 12:29 PM

2015-02-03T12:29:15-05:00

As a former Sergeant would have explained to me. Your life expectancy is about 76 years. Which means you have about 75 more Valentines Days to celebrate with whomever you like. When explained like that...one day didn't seem to important.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 12:31 PM

2015-02-03T12:31:13-05:00

If we complained of any type of duty...we'd be placed on a fast - track to get the worse duties for the rest of the year....it's a slippery slope your walking.

Response by 1SG Chuck Jarvis made Feb 3 at 2015 12:35 PM

2015-02-03T12:35:37-05:00

Duties should be assigned based on the DA6, not whether or not you are married or have plans. Take leave or request a pass so you can plan.

Response by SSG J Allen Rousseau made Feb 3 at 2015 1:03 PM

2015-02-03T13:03:01-05:00

You know in my 27 yrs that I was in the Army and I look at a DA6 I do not think there a any point on it for married or single. It's rank and name. As a NCO you need to look at how a DA6 is ran. I don't think your E-6 put on the because your number came up and if you did not put in a DA31 it's on you my friend!!!!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 1:17 PM

2015-02-03T13:17:26-05:00

Unfortunately, he has made up his mind from the "get go" and is choosing to stick with his decision. Even though it's none of his business what you and your wife's plans are, it appears as though you may have to start notifying your squad leader of any special plans you may have before any holidays. Depending on the importance of certain days you want with your spouse, I would consider dropping a DA-31 for Pass/Leave. Still be aware that he shouldn't and probably won't always work with you as there are other Soldiers he has to take care of. I've learned through the years that it's sometimes easier to celebrate certain holidays a weekend before or after, therefore you don't have to fight waiting in line, etc; at restaurants and what not. My wife's birthday is on 11Nov, which is Veterans Day. We always decide to celebrate it earlier or later. You are gonna have to get use to missing many holidays, as I have myself. The signature comes with the sacrifice. Just because we are married, doesn't give us special treatment. Single Soldiers have fiance's and girlfriends as well that they want to spend time with. But I understand that it does suck. Good luck!

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 2:27 PM

2015-02-03T14:27:32-05:00

Not sure if serious, or are we being trolled?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 2:47 PM

2015-02-03T14:47:59-05:00

Wow, so this is what you have to write about to get people to respond on here, the amount of activity from this post is bottom line stupid.
I'm not sure if my notes will even be read in all the other garbage that is being posted on here, but first my thoughts on your situation; to create another unpopular post. The two of you didn't handle the situation right. You should not be on here saying poor me. The other dude shouldn't give the old saying of your in the Army "suck it up". A DA-6 should be imposed, as I don't see a need to have three NCO's on CQ. All SGTs understand the duty, and should be able to run it, it's not in the squad leader job description, it's in a NCO description. Your 1SG should be running the barracks, but they will probably not want to change their policy just for you. You have to show an environment or climate of common disapproval or waste, and show why change is better. Bottom line it's their policy, so they will do as they please. Typically there is a overarching policy from BDE/BN/Post (IMCOM) on minimum standard.
My last few thoughts go like this. You shouldn't wait for a special day to show her you love her and want to spend time with her, I'm not saying you do. Secondly, telling a Soldier to suck it up, no matter the issue, isn't the best answer. This answer has continued to grow and plague NCO ranks, because now Soldiers will not research or ask questions like this. As a Senior NCO I'm here to give a sound judgment, and not to cut short another Soldiers concerns. If you have money tied up, no refund possible, then a harder lesson could be taught. Typically any hotel will refund or not charge, ensure you get your refunds or a credit, and don't take no for any answer with those companies.
You were picked in an uninformed way, but before this incident you always considered it fair by not speaking up before it affected you, as you could have before the facts. You planned poorly for your outing and company policy is not friendly. Either find someone with influence on your side, which is going to piss more people off for a little while or pull the duty and hopefully have an understanding wife.
Bottom line, as it looks your going to have a long dry boring night hanging out at the barracks. It's a four day weekend for you guys, so you should ensure that internally you have pulled your weekend duty the next time it comes around.
It's all about balance, just ensure you help the next guy out that needs it. It's better to be owed then having to owe someone .

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 2:53 PM

2015-02-03T14:53:38-05:00

WOW!!! Maybe I missed something did you forget to mention that you had an approved pass or leave during this weekend? If not do your duty WTF it's the 13th have the wife drive when you get relived and sleep in the car. I am sure your right your First Sergeant doesn't have time for this

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 3:14 PM

2015-02-03T15:14:49-05:00

Hopefully I can get some responses on this {Medic's (68W) (compo 1, 2, and 3) schools} if we can get past the "I'm a married E-5 pulling CQ on valentines day" ... This is a working avenue to being information used towards a MEDCOM effort that has FORSCOM and TRADOC star level visibility and implications. Make the most of your day people.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 11:16 PM

2015-02-03T23:16:20-05:00

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Feb 3 at 2015 11:34 PM

2015-02-03T23:34:16-05:00

When I read this, I see a junior NCO asking a question and receiving a lot of bashing. Some of us "crustier" service members can relate to this question and think of 1,000 worse things we had to endure, but he is a newlywed and this is weighing on his heart. All we are doing is attacking him. Do we have to take out our MANY experiences of having our o-rings stretched out to put this NCO down? -33 down votes so far for asking for advice on a professional military network. We are better than that. This member's total experience on RallyPoint has been asking 2 questions and 0 replies. Vote me down instead. I can take the hits. v/r, Uncle Mark.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 1:00 AM

2015-02-04T01:00:07-05:00

Ahhhh, good old CQ duty! Congrats on the new wife...
I remember spending 2 Valentines days and 2 Christmas's and a Thanksgiving away from everyone I loved at home because I was in the sandbox!
That's ok though, next year...

Response by SPC(P) Nick Bondgien made Feb 4 at 2015 1:31 AM

2015-02-04T01:31:35-05:00

I'm sorry Sarge, being Cav, it ain't strange to me..... except ( all due respect intended) that You aren't happy he chose You over the others. I don't get it, but it's me. REMF's aren't allowed. If Ya ain't on point, the view never changes.

Scouts Out~ RECON

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 2:55 AM

2015-02-04T02:55:46-05:00

The only thing you could do is pay someone to do your CQ for you. Doesn't matter if you have prior plans or obligiations. You chose this life, good bad or otherwise. You knew you had plans, why didn't you put in a 4 day pass? You are not the only married soldier that has had to work or pull a duty on a "special day", I hate to sound calous but suck it up and stop sounding like a PVT.

Response by SSgt Gregory Guina made Feb 4 at 2015 5:34 AM

2015-02-04T05:34:24-05:00

SGT Baba

Thank you so much for this post. The responses you are getting are making my time on duty right now enjoyable. I am actually laughing and have a new found energy to finish off this post.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 6:59 AM

2015-02-04T06:59:40-05:00

If you're not exempted from duty, either by unit policy, or by being approved leave, then your "plans" are non-existent. Don't ALL Soldiers have "plans" for holidays? Using your status as a married Soldier (besides being an NCO) would be favoritism.

Why should I, as a single Soldier (example, because I am also married), cover down on someone else's shift just because they're "married"?

Response by SGT Marvin "Dave" Bigham made Feb 4 at 2015 9:16 AM

2015-02-04T09:16:08-05:00

Sergeant, when has "fair" and "duty" ever been used in the same sentence when your soldiers complain about the assignments you gave them? You have your girl, those single "joes" may have plans too. Pull your duty, happily, as you swore to, and make it up to your wife. I am pretty sure she knows you are a soldier and your "plans" obviously failed to include the proper professional request prior to your personal commitment.
Oh, by the way... this is what the military does... screw up "plans". Hopefully this will teach you a lesson in proper planning and you can have an even better weekend with your wife at a later date. Leave your Top out of this and check your priorities. Good luck.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 9:22 AM

2015-02-04T09:22:30-05:00

SGT Baba, I think you may want to take another look at the NCO creed and reevaluate your desire to live by it. In particular, two parts, 1) "I will NOT use my grade or position to a attain PLEASURE, profit, or personal safety, 2) I know MY Soldiers and I will ALWAYS place their needs above my own." Pull the CQ and shut up or turn in your stripes for the "sham-shield" you seem more qualified for.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 9:36 AM

2015-02-04T09:36:05-05:00

While I do think the situation could have been handled different, at the end of the day you are a Non-Commissioned Officer and your method of addressing this situation here on rally point shows poor judgement. There is much more I would like to say but I think you pretty much get the idea based on what everyone else has been responding. Lead from the front and make smart decisions.

Response by SPC Ryan D. made Feb 4 at 2015 11:17 AM

2015-02-04T11:17:27-05:00

Lead from the front.

While I sympathize with your situation and hope you get to spend as much time with your family as possible, soldiers will respect you for stepping up and covering CQ.

Remember, respect must be earned along with the rank. It is not simply given with it.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 11:42 AM

2015-02-04T11:42:05-05:00

Sorry, SGT Baba-

As a MSG who has never married, I wonder when the cut-off should be for single soldiers to be responsible for making sure that married people get time off to 'be with their families'? I have pulled duty on many a holiday because I did not have a 'family', forgetting the fact that I have always had a 'family'- my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, mother, father, etc., who would also have liked to see me on the holidays. The fact of the matter is, we all have pulled duty when it was not ' a good time', but to quote an old drill sergeant ' the military did not issue you a spouse'. Valentine's Day is just another reason for the sale of chocolates and flowers; make your new spouse happy and give her a diamond on February 15th; she'll appreciate it even more.

Response by PO2 George Foster made Feb 4 at 2015 11:54 AM

2015-02-04T11:54:55-05:00

Duty is Duty, I had Duty many times on days I did not want it. Suck it up and move on or get out.

Response by PO2 George Foster made Feb 4 at 2015 11:57 AM

2015-02-04T11:57:52-05:00

Another thing. Valentines day is for two people in love not just married couples so why should you have special treatment? You really sound like a winning little child.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 12:03 PM

2015-02-04T12:03:26-05:00

I have a straw for you, that is all I can give you in this instance. You know what you must do with it.

Let me put something into perspective for you real quick SGT, I am currently deployed to Iraq. Have been for the past 9 months. My unit just went home and I'm stuck on trail party pushing out equipment. I have missed birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, funerals, holidays, etc etc etc... I've been in for almost 17 years. I have pulled more CQ, Staff duty, KP than you can possibly imagine. I have no sympathy for you my friend. You chose this life.

As for you throwing your younger, subordinate Joes and Janes under the bus, well...I think that it's high time someone had an anniversary of their own and revisited a rank that they held previously. Bad form SGT, very bad form.

I truly hope that you were just trolling us.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 12:06 PM

2015-02-04T12:06:51-05:00

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 12:52 PM

2015-02-04T12:52:04-05:00

The correct answer would be: who is supposed to be on duty according to the DA-6? It's impartial to marital status. It's also supposed to be managed by the 1SG.

Did you ask your NCO his reason for choosing you?

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 12:59 PM

2015-02-04T12:59:56-05:00

What you can do is go to one of the other E4s ask if they have anything planned and see if they would trade with you. Nothing against the regulations by doing that. I was a PFC in the 82nd and a E4 asked me if I could swap places with him cause he had made plans with his wife. We both met the NCO that was doing CQ and we both told him that I agreed to take his place. He said ok and that was that.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Feb 4 at 2015 1:02 PM

2015-02-04T13:02:33-05:00

Ummm...I'd be interested in knowing what your 1SG says. Think about your brothers and sisters in arms who are thousands of miles away right now from their family; unable to make plans to spend a Hallmark Holiday with someone they care about! Suck it up! You aren't getting shot at. Since when as the words "fair" be used to describe a situation in the military. If you didn't have a signed DA31 or some sort of other formal reason to be excused for duty than dust off your boots, adjust your plans and take to your post.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 1:34 PM

2015-02-04T13:34:37-05:00

Is this really being vented on rallypoint?? The site of professionals? If you had no signed DA31, your plans are basically invalid. This is a post I expect to see from a private.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Feb 4 at 2015 1:36 PM

2015-02-04T13:36:26-05:00

Valentines Day 2003. The day 3rd ACR got our deployment orders to kick butt in Iraq. We went home with flowers in one hand and "see ya later" papers in the other. I hope my fellow CAV family backs me up on this one. Valentine's Day forever changed meaning for the Regiment that day. It's just a day brother. It only holds the meaning and significance that we attach to it. Spend every day together like it is Valentines Day.

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 2:36 PM

2015-02-04T14:36:22-05:00

SGT Baba,

If I could offer any advice to you it would be to try not to overthink and stress about the situation. My wife struggled with the missing holidays for the first couple years, but the she realized that Christmas dinner taste the same if you cook it the December 26th. Don't let the date define the occasion, try to find comfort in the fact the because you buy your wife a nice gift and have a nice dinner because of the steady income. Enjoy a nice evening with your wife and save a couple buck getting her something nice when everything goes on sale the day after Valentines day. If you plan on making a career out of the Army you will have to come to terms with missing a couple things along the way. Find a way to deal with it now and focus on the good things you can do for your family because of the sacrifices you have agreed to make.

Best of luck.

Response by PO1 Ron Clark made Feb 4 at 2015 2:48 PM

2015-02-04T14:48:31-05:00

Sorry, duty is duty! In the Navy you could be out to sea for Valentine's day and then what difference would it make! I had duty on Christmas, my birthday, my Mother's/Father's birthday, Ground-hog day, etc., I even had to deploy a few hours after my oldest son was born. I even missed my daughter being born due to a nine month deployment to Westpac, I don't fault the Navy or my leaders. When we joined "Papa said there would be days like this"! You forked your own bronc now you just have to ride it! These things are and were inevitable and will always be with military service, not to sound crass! It's just a day! Have your own special Valentine's day with your new wife it will still be as special as she knows that you are serving your country!

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Feb 4 at 2015 2:59 PM

2015-02-04T14:59:42-05:00

Many moons ago, I submitted a pass that was local. I was planning on doing something special with my wife. My squad leader told me not to submit a pass because it was local. I did not trust him. He had something up his sleeve. I submitted my freaking pass and it was approved. He wanted to put me in CQ so this other NCO in the squad could have his special day with his wife. The 1SG said not so fast, I have a pass so I took my wife out. So there you have it. I learned a lesson with out failing or falling. Next time, submit a pass no matter what others say; just submit that pass! Also, how much money is the OP out? Talk to your squad leader again.

Response by SFC Michael Jackson, MBA made Feb 4 at 2015 3:07 PM

2015-02-04T15:07:33-05:00

SGT Brandon Baba, I think its pretty the vast majority including myself do not agree with your position. However, I spent an entire career in the military and see the big picture. As a young E4/E5, these same thoughts crossed my mind as CQ/ Staff duty runner duties came on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. A lot of things do when things don't work the way we think they should. I think you realize, at this point, there's other perspectives and views on what's fair and unfair.
I would encourage you not to go the route of forcing or expecting someone else to pull your duty. That being said, some things I've done in the past when important events have conflicted with my plans is discuss with my peers on this list and switch, compensated someone else to cover it, rescheduled my events and promised my significant I'd make it up to them. All of these worked. You can work this out if you communicate with your comrades. People understand things come up and will likely help you.

Response by SGT Edward Waterhouse made Feb 4 at 2015 3:32 PM

2015-02-04T15:32:17-05:00

Is this a serious post? Wait until you have kids. My daughter is six and I've missed three birthdays and about half of her life. I was just thankful I was home for her birth.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 4:04 PM

2015-02-04T16:04:04-05:00

Funny, when you join company and sign the dotted line there is always a clause, something along the lines "any other function not specified for the needs of the department." I would say suck it up until you are in charge and make the change you saw as a problem. Until then, really you are in a volunteer armed service, the worlds problems do not take a holiday... even a manufactured one...

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 4:38 PM

2015-02-04T16:38:24-05:00

Please tell me that this is a troll discussion? Are you serious? You want use the open door policy, to talk to your 1SG, about having to pull CQ on the day before Valentines Day? So basically what you are saying is that you think your "joes" should get the shaft and you shouldn't because you're an NCO. Yea, if I was a 1SG and you came to me with that, I'd probably fire you.
Who said the Army is fair? I bet there are hundreds, if not thousands of deployed Soliders, who would be more than happy to trade places with you. RTFU

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 4:50 PM

2015-02-04T16:50:44-05:00

When i have a soldiers that includes Sergeants that say words like "this is not fair" they get to do more and eventually that stops. The military did not issue us a wife or a husband it was our own choice. I have pulled staff duty multiple times on special occasions such as Christmas, New Years and so on. On one of those occasions I have taken a soldier from a very bad situation which could have ended really bad.

Response by Sgt Packy Flickinger made Feb 4 at 2015 5:07 PM

2015-02-04T17:07:32-05:00

Don't know CQ but it made me think of running to the DQ. Mint M&M Blizzard!!!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 5:37 PM

2015-02-04T17:37:57-05:00

But, I must also say, Congratulations" on your marriage. Now your wife is going to know what the term 'military wife' means. Missed holidays, many days away from each other, your wife learning how to balance the checkbook, get the oil changed in the car, overseeing moves, finding housing, meeting other wives to bond with, and becoming a family with the rest of us. You'll look back on this and laugh, SGT Baba. You're now an NCO. Professional, leader, and 'the Man'. OWN IT.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 7:01 PM

2015-02-04T19:01:42-05:00

Here is the deal; duties such as CQ and staff duty are supposed to be conducted on a DA 6. Being married, single, it being a holiday, cold outside or a Tuesday have no relevance on your responsibilities to Duty. Duty is one of those words you find on that plastic thing attached to your ID tags under the title Army Values. On top of that you had 2 weeks to prepare for the fact that you have to pull duty. Welcome to the Army, Sergeant. I highly recommend that you go back and read your creed, and start to act accordingly. For some of us that isn't a punchline that came with our last pay raise used to make ourselves feel good, when were kissing our butts and things are wonderful. But a guideline of very difficult tasks that only get harder when things really suck, because they are in its simplest form the basics of leadership. And if your having problems with those your "demonstrated leadership potential" on which you were promoted may be faulty assessment. I wonder how you would react to one of your Soldiers complaining baselessly in such a manner.

Response by SPC Charles Griffith made Feb 4 at 2015 7:22 PM

2015-02-04T19:22:30-05:00

Stop with the my pussy hurts whining and do your job. Would you be whining if you got orders to spin up to deploy? You signed the line live with it. I would have killed to been able to live through your problem Rather than what I went through. If she's worth keeping she will understand and you's can reschedule, if not better to find out now and move on.

Response by SFC Kenneth Hunnell made Feb 4 at 2015 7:22 PM

2015-02-04T19:22:49-05:00

I don't get it, complaining about not having been able to spend holiday with loved one. The idea of complaining about not spending Valentines Day with some one. If it is the idea of "Love". That aspect should be all the time, not just on that particular day. Unless the Army has changed that much, you always have the following day to celebrate the time together.

A good NCO always remembers that complaints go up not out to every ear that will listen.

When I was in the Regular Army, I was happy to get Thanksgiving and Christmas, if I drew the duty I did not complain.

Life does not end because we do not always get our way.

Enjoy life, it is to short to complain about such things.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 7:32 PM

2015-02-04T19:32:32-05:00

I honestly want to believe this guy is just trolling us. Has he never been pulled for duty on a weekend, a DUI in the unit, or whatnot? Just do as you're told SGT, and realize you have a great situation if this is as bad as it gets for you.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 7:48 PM

2015-02-04T19:48:12-05:00

did you put in a pass for the weekend? Why should the single Soldiers be forced to duty on a holiday? just because they are single? Maybe they have plans with their girlfriends/boyfriends?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 8:52 PM

2015-02-04T20:52:33-05:00

First of all, do you refer yourself as "Hi I'm E-5 BLAH BLAH BLAH" or "Hi, I'm SGT BLAH BLAH BLAH" Secondly, you are not special. I have spent countless times away from my family. Suck it up buttercup. Lastly, If a SSG has to pull CQ, that means there are shortages of SGT's in your unit. Deal with it and move on!

Response by 1SG Henry Yates made Feb 4 at 2015 9:22 PM

2015-02-04T21:22:03-05:00

Challenge the DA-6. I ran my DA-6 by the book. It's a form that keeps things fair and assigns duty based on the assignment of an accounting of days since your last weekday duty and weekend. It's regulation. The Air Force has a program that acts similar, but it doesn't meet the measure of Army Regulation. It's easy, say "SSG may I see the DA-6? It's the 1SG's responsibility and it may be delegated. If he doesn't run his duty by a the DA-6, in general, it will have to be started upon notice and all current duty will be suspended. Yah, some will speculate that it doesn't work that way, but this isn't a "have it your way organization, no matter what rank anyone is. It's the Army. If you need help thinking it through, I'm an Ombudsman, and retired 1SG at Fort Carson. I'm on the global. No strings attached and confidentiality is real. You act after advice if you want to. Now SGT keep in mind, single Soldiers shouldn't be pulled because their single. Your fight should protect them from unfairness as well whether their assigned to you or not.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 4 at 2015 9:29 PM

2015-02-04T21:29:03-05:00

Hey Sergeant... Want to know how many Christmases, Thanksgivings, New Years Eve/Days, Valentines Days, Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc. I have missed in 8 years being deployed or in some type of training?

Do what everyone else does and put your "date" off for a night. It won't kill you and the Valentine's Day police won't gig you for celebrating a day later.

As others have pointed out, why are you trying to get your Junior Enlisted Soldiers to pull duty so that you can go out on a date? Remember in the NCO Creed where it says "I know my Soldiers and I will always place their needs before my own"? Yeah, that. I know many NCOs think that the Creed is something you memorize and regurgitate for boards, then braindump. No, it isn't. If you are wearing stripes, you need to LIVE the Creed. If you cannot or will not, then please do everyone a favor and turn-in your stripes to your First Sergeant. That is not meant in a nasty way, but matter-of-fact.

This is the Army. You either adapt and overcome or you get out. It's that simple.

Bring a book.

Response by 1SG Henry Yates made Feb 5 at 2015 12:16 AM

2015-02-05T00:16:13-05:00

Okay, as I stated before, contact me if you need to talk through this.
Army Regulation 220-45 is the proponent for the DA Form 6. Yes, it is in effect and current. It's titled Duty Rosters. If all eligible Soldiers aren't scheduled on the DA-6, it's not an official duty, it's not an Army duty. No one, Officers, or Enlisted are an exception to operate beyond Army Regulation.
I just read many of the comments posted and I will say that I am disheartened to see so many answer your question without quoting regulation. I saw a few defer you to the DA6. You asked a good question, it's just there are so many who answer with judgement.
Now, you'll never know if you don't ask. You're not a whiner, or the other things you've been called. Taking one for the team? That's not it. It's wrong. After you see the DA6 if it exists, or is prepared, you may find that you're on duty for the same day, but at least you know it's your assigned duty and it's legal.
It took me longer to make rank, but I'm satisfied with the progress I made. I lived by the organization and knew it from duty station to duty station by learning. Knowing and research regulation versus following the crowd.
I wasn't against the grain, the Army is the grain. I lived and lead by regulation and it kept things fair. In one instance, my whole local Chain of Command opposed Army Regulation in many instances, but I stood by Regulation and enforced it within my realm of authority. The United States Army requires leaders to know and if they don't know, to research regulation. It's based on law. Ask to see the DA6.

Response by SGT Mark Sullivan made Feb 5 at 2015 1:07 AM

2015-02-05T01:07:40-05:00

I'm still trying to wrap my head around a Unit being top heavy on E-6's, and having them pull CQ...

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 1:31 AM

2015-02-05T01:31:52-05:00

In my opinion you are not living by the creed that you are supposed to as an NCO.

Response by SSG Corry Struve made Feb 5 at 2015 2:23 AM

2015-02-05T02:23:19-05:00

Pull you weight and move on!

Response by SGT Aaron Olivas made Feb 5 at 2015 2:44 AM

2015-02-05T02:44:38-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member , I will spare you the long list of things I could say that would Tear you Down, but instead show you a lot of thing's that might help you see the Positive in Staff Duty/and CQ. When you have been Married for sometime, I don't know about My other 11B brothers but I used to long for the 24HR Duty. Gave me time to get to know my Soldiers better and connect with them, Gave me time to Work on Professional Development, gave me time to Write all those Counselings. Not Going to lie CQ sucked, but I made it the best CQ I could and made use for the time I was there. As Far as the Relationship aspect of it goes, I understand the many arguments that come with saying " Sorry can't go this weekend" to the wife but I signed the Contract to be a Service Member and I choose to be Married and non of any of that was the Army's Fault or my Leadership's Fault. In Short it can Always be worse brother, so pack those Snacks, and stock up MONSTER and write the Wife a nice note, and just hope all guys stay out of trouble. Lead By Example Brother and Embrace the SUCK!

Response by SFC Frank Hartley made Feb 5 at 2015 8:05 AM

2015-02-05T08:05:59-05:00

This is retarded. How does a SGT complain about doing duty? I don't know what Army you're serving in sonny but you should be grateful instead of whining.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 12:20 PM

2015-02-05T12:20:37-05:00

First, Valentines Day is not JUST for married folks. If one of your SPCs had a girlfriend or a fiancée, that would be just as much a cause for them to celebrate.

Second, as a leader, I would prefer to be the FIRST to pull on a 4 day weekend if someone needs it. Why? Give my Soldiers the 4 day weekend. Why not let them enjoy time off, whether it's Valentines Day or not? It isn't one of the "big days" like Christmas and New Years anyways. Furthermore, did you TALK to these SPCs before trying to pull yourself from the duty roster? If not, shame on you!! As a leader, you should be willing to place the needs of your subordinates above your own and lead selflessly. Don't do it EVERY 4 day, but EVERY leader should take a turn in sacrificing so that it doesn't simply fall on the "low man on the totem pole" every chance.

Third, the Army is about sacrifice. Do we stop combat operations because of holidays? No. Do we send people home from mobilizations or annual training for every minor holiday? No. Do we routinely schedule training around EVERY possible Soldier schedule? No. In 7 years, I have missed 3 of my daughters birthdays, numerous milestones, probably 5 of our anniversaries...split between military commitments and my own civilian job as a reservist. My wife understands that my Soldiers are important. If I work on a holiday or an anniversary, we celebrate it another time. I'm not going anywhere, she's not going anywhere....we've got more milestones in the future.

Fourth, did you check the duty roster? You should have been able to determine in advance what your duties are and when you were assigned. (This is the DA-6..) If you didn't check it and realize it until just recently, or assumed you were exempt...that is poor planning.

Get a DA31 approved and take your wife somewhere special on some other time. Valentines Day is NOT the only day you are authorized to show your Spousal Unit that she is loved.
v/r,
CPT Butler

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 12:30 PM

2015-02-05T12:30:26-05:00

I'm with your squad leader. Every body gets stuck sooner or later. As a rule of thumb, ALWAYS submit a pass request for "special weekends". Basically I'm saying, suck it up. Just because a joe is single doesn't mean his plans with his gf are less important that yours are with your wife. I could go on, and I'm sorry to say this, but you're being a bit of a crybaby.

Response by MSgt Dan Hurley made Feb 5 at 2015 12:53 PM

2015-02-05T12:53:22-05:00

Welcome to life most of the time things don't work out the way we plan, however this one is on you. You have 30 days of leave a year, did you ever think in advance to take a day??

Response by SGM Marvin Parker made Feb 5 at 2015 1:13 PM

2015-02-05T13:13:05-05:00

First thing first: 1) Was a DA Form 6 used. If it was used and your number came up then suck it up and drive on. 2) If you had plans, then why didn't you put in for a pass or leave during that weekend therefore you would have had every thing covered. Question of the day, is did you deserved the pass or leave or was you just hoping you didn't get duty being that Valentine day falls on a 4 days weekend anyway being that it during President's day. Single Soldiers should not be picked on just because they are single. My suggestion to you is to take it to the 1SG if you were just picked out of the blue for CQ. If it was your turn to pull it, then back to #1 above. Look at it this way, someone have to be on duty.

If you are whining just to be whining for Valentine Day which is not a holiday, then I can just imagine what you will do come XMAS time and you have duty on XMAS eve and can't play Santa to your future kids.

Retire SGM

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 1:37 PM

2015-02-05T13:37:18-05:00

I would tactfully suggest using a DA6 so that Soldiers are not "hey you". Being married does not give a Soldier the right to be off over a Soldier who is not. That type of favoritism will quickly lead IG involvement.

Response by AB Sephiroth Cloud made Feb 5 at 2015 1:53 PM

2015-02-05T13:53:01-05:00

1st mistake. You put down who your unit is in your profile which this will be forward to.

2nd mistake. You posted this feel sorry for me in a public threat.

3rd mistake. You became a NCO

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 3:02 PM

2015-02-05T15:02:54-05:00

In all fairness SGT, I'm with SPC Thundercloud. I've pulled duty on Valentine's day, my birthday, Christmas, and then again on New years. I havent had a national holiday that I havent pulled duty on in the year and a half that I've been in the Army. On top of that, while I see your point and it IS good to have time with the family, first and foremost, you are a soldier in the united States Army. Your wife may have your heart, but Uncle Sam has your life. So as the aforementioned SPC pointed out, plans are nothing to the Amry without a signed and approved DA-31. I've pulled duty for some of my E1s and 2s on those holidays so that they could see their spouse and children. Its honestly not that big a deal. Whoever said that it HAS to be Valentine's day for you to take time with your wife. Drop a leave form and take a couple days for you to be with her. Dates dont matter to Army familes. its the TIME that matters. Did I mention that I too, am married?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 4:41 PM

2015-02-05T16:41:02-05:00

Suck it up!!! Been married almost 20 years and have missed birthdays, anniversaries and holidays... Reality is, never make concrete plans unless you have approved leave... You being an NCO means you should already know this... Also as an NCO we have a habit of taking the duties on special holidays and occasions as to allow our junior troops the opportunity to be with their families since they are typically the ones on duty all the rest of the time... I have had senior NCO and officers serve menial duties on Holidays and such so I could be at home with my family... It is a sign of good leadership and leading from the front... Take your duty, change your plans and after all it is just Valentines Day... Not a recognized holiday and I am sure you can come up with another day to spoil and spend time with your wife... It isn't like you are overseas or deploying out the next day... It is just another day...

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 5:35 PM

2015-02-05T17:35:44-05:00

Others may say they're not trying to be cold....but I am. You need to man up.

Two reasons why:
Flashback to Summer 1995 - SPC Bermudez puts in for Christmas Leave....in June. Her family is coming to Germany. Section NCOIC SGT Steinhoff tells assistant SGT Walker to hold off on getting her DA 31 before the section Chief (a CIV)....until HE talks to HIS wife to find out when they want Christmas leave.... Bottom line: A SPC submits leave six months out, and it's held up because a stripe-wearer wants to see if he wants that leave period first.

Flashback to October 1991 - Newly married SPC Walker is sent to the field for two weeks, to do very little but act as an administrative assistant, even though he's the 1991 equivalent of a 25B (Signal). So? you may ask... I'm glad you asked. Mrs. Walker had a serious illness. SPC Walker had to go anyway.

You don't get to spend Valentine's Day with your wife because you're on CQ? What, is she banned from the company area? Could she not bring you a meal, and you can eat together?

Wow......I would question your ethics as an NCO, and look to administratively reduce you merely for that attitude.....and I'm married.

Response by SFC Jamie Whitaker made Feb 5 at 2015 6:11 PM

2015-02-05T18:11:35-05:00

You duty is to follow orders. I know it sucks to be away from your family. However, do you duty, follow your orders.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 6:26 PM

2015-02-05T18:26:00-05:00

Suck it up how many other people can't be with the person they want because duty calls

Response by SGT Michael Gilgore made Feb 5 at 2015 6:29 PM

2015-02-05T18:29:46-05:00

why is the first sergeant not using the duty rotation numerical system as required to determine who pulls duty and when ?

Response by SFC(P) Tobias M. made Feb 5 at 2015 6:42 PM

2015-02-05T18:42:57-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member I have one question for you. If you are deployed do you expect them to send you home for the holidays? I think not. You joined Active duty, Active duty did not join you. If you have been in for almost 6 years you have gotten your rank way to fast. I feel that you need to be in for more then your first contract prior to becoming an NCO. Next thing I think you need to do is go read the NCO Creed. I do not think there is anything in there about holidays. First line "No one is more professional than I. I am a Noncommissioned Officer, a leader of soldiers". As a leader you need to do the things that you are going to request your other SM's to do and you are not showing that. Man up or move out.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2015 7:47 PM

2015-02-05T19:47:22-05:00

You should have put in a leave form if you had plans. The single Soldier could be dating someone, planning to get engaged, etc. Your or my time is no more valuable than theirs.

Response by SSG Sean Garcia made Feb 6 at 2015 12:24 AM

2015-02-06T00:24:16-05:00

You are an NCO, act like one. I pulled CQ as a SSG. Suck it up or ETS. maybe being a Soldier isn't what your made out to be after all?

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 2:02 AM

2015-02-06T02:02:50-05:00

Life isn't fair. Suck it up. Valentine's day is geared more towards the single crowd anyway. Your wife should still love you at the end of the day.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 2:53 AM

2015-02-06T02:53:29-05:00

Since you've already been bashed repeatedly by other posters for your question of why two junior enlisted can't pull your duty while you use the married card, I'll just offer a suggestion:

Why not have your new wife spend some time with you while you are on CQ? That way, she can acknowledge and sympathize with what you do on a daily basis instead of forming her opinions of the military from movies and hearsay. I've seen plenty of spouses in my company spend time with their husbands while they are on duty. Some even bring cupcakes for the rest of the Soldiers in the barracks when they visit and are a welcome sight to many who live on post. On certain occasions, spouses of those on duty come and hold a cookout if it's on a holiday and many Soldiers are off. Who knows, she might even appreciate being able to join the company family.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 7:22 AM

2015-02-06T07:22:56-05:00

Did you put in a leave request before he selected you for that mission? You are going out of town.

As a former NCO, I feel your pain. The squad leader could have used a little more discretion, but he made the decision, for one reason or another.

Continue to follow your general orders. Embrace the Suck and drive on.

Response by SSG Ronald Rollins made Feb 6 at 2015 9:42 AM

2015-02-06T09:42:04-05:00

Welcome to the military Military Spouse!! I did 23 years in the military. I pulled duty on many holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and so has many others. Yes there were unmarried Soldiers there who could have done it. But if my name was there on the duty roster, I did the duty. You dont throw one of your Soldiers under the bus because you are newly married!! It shows everyone on here exactly what kind of NCO you are. If I were your squad leader and you came to me with this reasoning you would be on duty every holiday for the forseeable future. And if you went to the 1SG I hope he would call me in!! You did not do a DA-31 so you have no plans!! You should always plan on haviing duty if you are an NCO. Like was said already be glad you are not deployed. You are home and get to see your family. Have her bring lunch to you and make plans for another day to make up for it. And put in a leave form!! Dont throw your soldiers under the bus. Remember you cannot use your rank for personal gain. Use it to help your soldiers!!

Response by CSM Ralph Hernandez made Feb 6 at 2015 10:55 AM

2015-02-06T10:55:42-05:00

When you signed your DD Form 4, I don't think it said you could have off on Valentines day or for any other holiday for that matter. You are a young leader that still needs some developing. If you NCOIC has a duty roster and is following it he shouldn't have a problem showing it to you. You will run in to the same problems when you get to where he is at.

Response by SPC Sean Slaughter made Feb 6 at 2015 11:19 AM

2015-02-06T11:19:34-05:00

Holy hell wtf has happened to the military that this shit is posted on an open forum! Suck it up and drive on! Bunch of slack jawed knuckleheads now. Cry me a doggone river private cause the way you act that's what your gonna ETS as.

Response by SPC Christopher Shanahan made Feb 6 at 2015 11:45 AM

2015-02-06T11:45:56-05:00

SGT, If you didn't fill out a DA-31 then sorry but you are SOL. I also don't think that married service members should be given the privledge of getting off duty just for the fact they are married. We all have to do our duty even if it sometimes messes up our plans. I definitely agree that it sucks that you made plans and have to change them, but they seem to have given you more than enough notice. When I have CQ or staff duty, I'm lucky if I get 24-48 hours notice.

Response by SGM William Vernon made Feb 6 at 2015 1:41 PM

2015-02-06T13:41:06-05:00

Your arguement is based on the fact that you are married not on the fact that the DA6 may have been improperly used. Based on your arguement you have no basis, sorry.

Response by SGT Michael Glenn made Feb 6 at 2015 3:33 PM

2015-02-06T15:33:51-05:00

I did many things I didnt like while serving and found out quickly it doesnt pay to make waves where waves dont belong, choose your battles wisely my friend, you say this is a new marriage and I say if its to be it will overcome turmoil and chaos such as this small issue...take the lovely lady somewhere special After said questioned weekend and you have submitted the proper forms to put it in stone. Welcome to the Army and do keep in mind that since your a soldier being married is a privilege as is owning a vehicle or any other luxury. good luck.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 6:42 PM

2015-02-06T18:42:11-05:00

I'm going to give you an up vote for asking a question that makes me laugh, and to compensate somewhat for all the flak your taking. I will commend you for having the sense to want to spend quality time with your family when the opportunity presents itself, and I hope that you are able to take much of the advice offered here to heart... even though in many cases, it's a bit harsher than necessary.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 7:47 PM

2015-02-06T19:47:36-05:00

You lost me at not fair...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 8:59 PM

2015-02-06T20:59:47-05:00

Kidding, right? I'm single with 2 special needs kids... That doesn't automatically put me on the rotation by default. Navigating this lifestyle takes adjustment. I'm sure I'm singing the same praises as others. Find a great mentor and some awesome role models.

Response by SP5 Richard Maze made Feb 6 at 2015 10:50 PM

2015-02-06T22:50:45-05:00

Your assumption is that being married makes you special. I promise you that anyone who is single in your unit will hate you for thinking you are entitled. Nothing worse than feeling you get duty every holiday and every special occasion because married people are "special."

Response by SPC Shyue Lor made Feb 7 at 2015 2:16 AM

2015-02-07T02:16:47-05:00

Someone thinks they're special because they are married.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2015 6:27 AM

2015-02-07T06:27:40-05:00

Here is exactly what you need to do. Grab a mirror and take a good long look. When you see someone who puts himself above his Soldiers then you have looked long enough. Now to fix that, read and live the creed that you are supposed to be upholding on a daily basis.

Always remember piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2015 11:16 AM

2015-02-07T11:16:04-05:00

Guess that CQ date is going to be epic...

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2015 5:19 PM

2015-02-07T17:19:41-05:00

It won't be the the last anniversary you will miss, trust me. you might want to start counting the days until your ETS if this is going to be a deal breaker with your new wife.

Response by CPT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2015 9:27 PM

2015-02-07T21:27:36-05:00

This isn't the medium for your gripes. If you want someone to feel bad for you, I'm sure you can tell your story to your family or some civilian. In this realm, I wouldn't even call that a gripe. I've had CQ on Veterans Day and Memorial Day this year. An NCO doesn't complain. He gets the job done. That's what makes is leaders.

Response by SSG Melvin Nulph made Feb 8 at 2015 4:43 AM

2015-02-08T04:43:27-05:00

Tell me you're not bit ching about doing your part. Everyday is what you make it. Don't get caught up in something man markets to rip you off enjoy your life and be a soldier.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 5:16 AM

2015-02-08T05:16:32-05:00

Be selfless not selfish.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 6:51 AM

2015-02-08T06:51:03-05:00

SGT, Though I should say E-5 since that's how your address yourself sir, I've been married 3 out of the 4 years I've been in the military and out of those I have spent one Christmas, and one thanksgiving with my wife, I have let lower ranking single personnel take the night off or go home early in my place. My point is the wife will get used to it, adapt and overcome all obstacles together or fail together.

Response by SSG Sean Garcia made Feb 8 at 2015 12:09 PM

2015-02-08T12:09:01-05:00

You are an NCO, act like one. Something doesn't go your way, don't whine it's unprofessional and questions your leadership ability. You know how many times I was called out of bed? Or on a date with my wife? More than I can count. But I was an NCO and had to do what was needed to be done. Never show your subordinates an attitude that can discredit you

Response by SFC Richard M. made Feb 8 at 2015 12:26 PM

2015-02-08T12:26:31-05:00

You kinda F**ked up asking this question, didn't you? Just out of curiosity, did you learn anything from this, or are you resisting the lesson because things aren't going your way?

So you know, I'm fully expecting a down vote from you, but that would only prove my point, wouldn't it?

Response by SGT Edward Thomas made Feb 8 at 2015 3:21 PM

2015-02-08T15:21:14-05:00

Wow. Posting this on Rallypoint is a very bad move. I used to catch CQ on Fridays and Sunday's often while in Alaska during prime fishing season. When referring to others and yourself by "E" grade then you really shouldn't be where you are. I missed 7 years of my family and children growing up but you know what? My wife and children u der stand the word sacrifice. I never considered myself any better than the single soldiers and often out mysf in their place. Lead from the front. Quit saying follow me troops right behind you.

Response by SGT Kevin Gardner made Feb 8 at 2015 3:37 PM

2015-02-08T15:37:11-05:00

It is exactly this attitude I found in NCO's that bothered me the most, one of the reasons why All the senior enlisted always felt that their troops would toss them under the bus, when in reality it was because of NCO's like you that went out of their way to be pampered. I once overheard my platoon sergeant tell all of our squad leaders that all thief troops would toss them under the bus the first chance they got, I have no respect for NCO's like that and you fit the same bill as my old platoon sergeant.

Response by SFC Jason Porter made Feb 8 at 2015 3:42 PM

2015-02-08T15:42:56-05:00

Suck it up Sarge! In my 20 plus yrs I pulled my share on just about every holiday missed birthdays, weddings etc etc! I sucked it up and drove on! If you have supporting wife she will understand!

Response by SGT Tim Astras made Feb 8 at 2015 6:27 PM

2015-02-08T18:27:25-05:00

A- you obviously don't have a good relationship with your boss.

B. don't ever state anything about being married vs. single and duty. It was your choice to get married and has nothing to do with any duty roster. It sucks we all get it.

C. As a NCO what would you tell one of your soldiers who was complaining about this situation?

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Feb 8 at 2015 6:28 PM

2015-02-08T18:28:39-05:00

This is how to gripe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaVfHntwVc4

Gripe

Episode from Saving Private Ryan about griping 'up' or 'down'

Response by SSG Jim Foreman made Feb 9 at 2015 12:46 AM

2015-02-09T00:46:49-05:00

Well Sgt. I guess you can see by all the “thumbs down” you’re not getting any sympathy here. My wife and I learned early in my career to be flexible in our plans because the NCO or Officer over us might have plans of his/her own. So, as I was told long ago...suck it up buttercup.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 9 at 2015 12:52 AM

2015-02-09T00:52:54-05:00

Selfless service.... I've had funeral detail the last month and a half, we have had a 4 day in January and a 4 day next weekend, I don't get to see my sons because of funeral detail, they had the same 4 days we did and will and they live in another city but since u have funeral detail, i can't go out of town... you're in the Army... it's only 24 hours...

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made Feb 10 at 2015 9:34 PM

2015-02-10T21:34:38-05:00

This thread or post got lots of attention on other sites like FB. This NCO was ridiculed and criticized to no end. That means a member probably did a photo grab and posted it somewhere.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 10 at 2015 9:39 PM

2015-02-10T21:39:35-05:00

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member The way I see it you have absolutely nothing to complain about and this post should have never been put up..... You wanted to go out of town for the weekend and spend some time with your new wife. Well then do that. Your cq is on a friday, which means saturday and sunday are still available. Get a couple energy drinks and push through the sleepiness, I have stayed up the day following a cq shift many times because I wanted to make the most out of a day off work with my family. So the weekend wont go exactly as planned, you are an NCO, be flexible, adapt and overcome. Modify your plans to start on Saturday morning instead of Friday night.... its really not that big of a deal. -Sent with love from Afghanistan

Response by SFC Cindy Paris made Feb 10 at 2015 9:44 PM

2015-02-10T21:44:58-05:00

As an NCO it is your responsibility to take care of soldiers. I can not believe that you take that role very seriously seeing as you are more focused on what you want. No offense but I am glad that I am not a "joe" in your squad. By the way .. they are soldiers and deserve respect and consideration from you their leader. If you were a SGT in my unit we would be discussing your lack of regard and obvious disrespect for your soldiers. You should not be referring to them as "joes". They are soldiers. Grow up and accept your responsibilities proudly.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 1:19 PM

2015-02-11T13:19:56-05:00

My girlfriend had a similar issue in her department recently. A senior SPC told their NCOIC that he thinks the "Single Soldiers" should be put to work on Valentine's Day while "Married Soldiers" could go on and frolick with their significant other.
Equal Oportunity, it shouldn't matter if you're married or single; duty comes first.
I've had my share of pulling duty due to being single, it's wrong.

How far in advance does your duty roster come out? If you had plans on Valentine's day and spoke to your Squad Leader about it prior to him putting your name in as a runner things may be different.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 2:01 PM

2015-02-11T14:01:41-05:00

You could have put I for a pass. And last time I checked, Valentines Day is not even a recognized Holiday.
What I find even more disturbing, is that you, as an E5 (notice I didn't say NCO) tried to get junior soldiers on duty.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 16 at 2015 12:18 PM

2015-02-16T12:18:14-05:00

Being married was your choice. It does not come with special privileges. Single soldiers should not be penalized because they are single. If your plans were that important you should have taken leave.

Response by SSG LaRon Ellis made Feb 18 at 2015 11:16 AM

2015-02-18T11:16:19-05:00

Bottom line, soldier up Sergeant.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 11:33 AM

2015-02-18T11:33:18-05:00

If this is the worst thing to ever happen to you in your time in the Army, you should consider yourself lucky. You're an NCO now. Life isn't always going to be what you consider "fair". That's a consequence of your choice to become a leader. Act more like a leader and less like the junior Soldiers you're trying to get to pull your duty.

Response by SSG Rob Cline made Feb 18 at 2015 1:24 PM

2015-02-18T13:24:01-05:00

Clearly leadership is not one of your strengths...
Did you ever think for a second, that maybe, just maybe, there is a DA-6 for CQ? How many times before when your squad had CQ did the lower enlisted Soldiers pull it?
Is your SSG Married?
If that particular CQ had mostly NCO's, there was probably a good reason for it (BOSS Party at the Barracks, maybe?)
We all make/ made sacrifices for our units.
Most veterans and retirees on this site have deployed numerous times, often leaving our loved ones during the most precious of times (birth of child, birthdays, etc.). Valentine's Day is just that. A DAY. Take her to a fancy restaurant on the 15th instead, you won't pay the marked up prices then, and flowers are cheaper too!

Response by CPT Carlos Ribadeneira made Feb 18 at 2015 1:31 PM

2015-02-18T13:31:21-05:00

I remember when I was a young E-5, and had to pull duty on holidays. The only thing I can say is - It comes with the territory! You are an NCO, and I don't think your 1SG, whether he has his back or not, would think very highly of you, if you were to go and talk to him about this issue. Do your duty, and plan your leave well ahead of time, so that everyone in the chain of command knows that you have that day off. Just remember that even if you had the day approved, something can come-up, and they may have to cancel your leave. So, plan your leave, be "NCO" flexible, and inform your wife that duty comes first. Stay Army Strong!

Response by SGT Kathryn Fish made Feb 18 at 2015 4:21 PM

2015-02-18T16:21:10-05:00

The Squad Leader is clearly being petty...

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 5:21 PM

2015-02-18T17:21:51-05:00

Sheesh, Really?!?!? I take the "No is shooting at me, I am not deployed, and I can see my wife". This really is not the place to voice minor complaints about your leadership.

Buck up, at least you are stateside.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 9:52 PM

2015-02-18T21:52:33-05:00

Picking the single Soldier as opposed to a married Soldier due to their marital status violates Army policy/regulation. What should happen is that the NCO completes a DA 6 according to AR 220-45 and whoever the next Soldier on the list is has duty. Single Soldiers have the right to take their significant others out on Valentines day. Instead of using the open door policy with your Commander, have the conversation with your wife and celebrate your relationship another day. Just because a day is annotated as "valentines day" doesn't mean you cannot celebrate your relationship other days of the year.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 10:09 PM

2015-02-18T22:09:36-05:00

Here's the deal SGT Baba. You swore an oath and you will fulfill that oath, or suffer the consequences of breaking it. So, the first issue is that you're whining about pulling duty, when you were assigned to that duty by your supervisor. The second issue, is that you think single Soldiers should be punished for being single. Third, I believe your Squad Leader was trying to teach you the importance of making the sacrifice so your subordinates can see your example and emulate your actions. Fourth... in the Army we are referred to by rank, not pay grade (notice I started my statement with SGT Baba and not with E5 Baba?). With all that said, if you came to me under an open door policy, you would probably not receive a favorable reaction to your issue.

The next issue is that your unit does not appear to be managing the duty roster on a DA Form 6, as per Army Policy.

AR 600-45 4. Responsibilities
a. Deputy Chief of Staff, G–1 will ensure that commanders establish standard operating procedures to ensure the
equitable assignment of duty and accurately track performance.
b. Installation and unit commanders will ensure that procedures for the maintenance of the DA Form 6 are followed,
that the DA Form 6 is kept for recording the duty performed by each Soldier in the organization, and that a separate
DA Form 6 is maintained for each duty requiring the detail of individuals.
c. All levels of commands to include Active Army, U.S. Army Reserve, and Army National Guard installations and
units will—
(1) Ensure that procedures for the maintenance of the DA Form 6 at all levels of command and in all types of
organizations are followed.
(2) Ensure that DA Form 6 is kept for recording the duty performed by each Soldier in the organization.
(3) Ensure that a separate DA Form 6 will be maintained for each duty requiring the detail of individuals. All
assignments to detail, except authorized special duty details, or other exceptions (see para 7c), will be made in
accordance with applicable DA Forms 6.

Response by MSgt Joanna Clute made Feb 18 at 2015 11:04 PM

2015-02-18T23:04:32-05:00

Use this as an opportunity to open up a dialogue with your new spouse on what to expect WRT your duties. Also, use it to demonstrate to your subordinates that you won't ask them to do things you aren't willing to do, too.
It sucks but we all have to take a bite of that sh*t sandwich.
I had to deploy when my daughter was 4 mos old. It was the worst but I def wouldn't have screwed someone over by trying to get out of it.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 11:06 PM

2015-02-18T23:06:40-05:00

All I can say is DA 6...use one?

Response by COL Charles Williams made Feb 18 at 2015 11:08 PM

2015-02-18T23:08:45-05:00

So, we should give all the duty to single Soldiers? That sounds fair. Let me know how the open door policy works your 1SG. Did the SL say why he picked you to work with him?

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 11:22 PM

2015-02-18T23:22:44-05:00

No one is more professional than I. I am a Noncomissioned Officer, a leader of soldiers.......Sarge, tell me you don't have troops on Ralley Point? This is another reason junior enlisted soldiers complain about their leadership! Suck it up Buttercup, because if you haven't been keeping up with current events. You may end up down range and the time for complaining won't work out as well for you! Live and learn, tight'n your belt and pick up your ADP 6-22, study and learn!!!

Response by Maj Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2015 11:43 PM

2015-02-18T23:43:32-05:00

Single people have plans too. I get tired of hearing about single people should work on a holiday because they "are single". Take leave or deal with the schedule you receive.

Response by SGT Michael Chittum made Feb 19 at 2015 9:59 AM

2015-02-19T09:59:22-05:00

In my opinion, #1. Our first job as NCO is to take care of our soldiers, by choosing NCOs to pull duty, I believe he was looking out for the morale of his troops. That being said, the only fair way to handle an extra duty is by a roster. The hey you roster has never been fair.

Response by SPC John Reed made Feb 19 at 2015 2:39 PM

2015-02-19T14:39:44-05:00

Good for you SGT. Stand up for YOUR rights, YOUR wants and YOUR desires. I have seen to many NCOs piss on the lower ranks then bleet about how they look out for them. My hat goes off the real NCOs that look out for the men under them. I have had the pleasure of serving with both types. And just because a soldier isn't married doesn't mean that there is no one he would want to spend the day with.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 20 at 2015 8:49 PM

2015-02-20T20:49:13-05:00

SSG: Man. Tough world this Army. The DA-31 may have covered you. I like the foresight to talk to the SQD Ldr, but there may be are always things above our pay-grade we are not privy to. We do not ask why, we execute. It sucks yes, but hopefully you dealt with it the right way in the end (except for the post). We didn't have online forums when I joined (thank God). I am not close to being in your CoC but I have been around a bit. Choose not to complain publicly. I have to say fairness is not an Army definition.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2015 12:03 PM

2015-02-26T12:03:58-05:00

This reply is coming late but wanted to through in my two cents.......This is a loaded issue.......I'll try approaching this from different angles in an effort to being objective.

1. As a Soldier, it is your responsibility to submit the proper paperwork to have certain days off. Many posts allow you to travel up to 250 miles from post without needing a pass, but without securing those dates, you put yourself at risk of not being able to have those dates off. If you did not take the appropriate steps (DA-31), then this is on you.

2. No preferential treatment based on someone's marital or significant other status should be made by the leadership. Doing so could degrade trust/moral in a unit and even open up the leadership to valid complaints.

3. A leader should allow for some swapping of duties if two parties come to an agreement (i.e. you and a single Soldier), this of course based on the SGM who may have iron control over duty roster and may not give a damn.

Now, to the specifics of your conversation with your SQD LDR...."And even after telling my squad leader that and informing him there are 2 single joes that he could choose instead of me he is being extremely difficult ....." In my opinion that was probably one of the worse ways you could have worded that statement and I think some of the backlash you're getting from some of the replies is because of how you worded it. It implies that you want to get out of duty and hey look over there, those two soldiers are sad and alone. It comes off as trying to blue falcon someone. It should have been worded as...if you could find someone to swap duties with, would he (your SQD LDR) be supportive of that.

Fairness - It would be equally unfair to make a soldier pull duty when he was not scheduled to so that you could go out of town for a weekend. Since that soldier was not scheduled to have duty, he may have also made plans to go elsewhere or do something else. Telling them at the last minute to scrap those plans is unfair. I believe (and am wondering what the outcome was ) the 1SG would take this point of view...and of course he has his NCO's back, that's his job as 1SG.
4.

Response by 1SG Wayne Harvin made Feb 26 at 2015 5:16 PM

2015-02-26T17:16:49-05:00

My friend I've spent 34 years of my life in the military every day is not promised as free time if you were ever in combat you don't even get 1 day off over sometimes you don't get a decent 8 hours sleep look at the bright side you just gotta suck it up because it could be worst than a complaint like your NCO said and I stand beside him welcome to the Army you got a lot to learn yet

Response by SGT John Rauch made Feb 28 at 2015 9:13 AM

2015-02-28T09:13:57-05:00

DA-31? plain and simple. if there is no paper trail you didnt plan properly. there are people in the military who are going through way worse than pulling CQ for valentines day

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 2 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-03-02T17:02:36-05:00

I think SGT Private RallyPoint Member sums up everone's opinion towards SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member 's post. You are a Non-commissioned officer in the United States Army and you've been in long enough to realize that this was bound to happen. Why plan a trip without requesting leave? Why make another soldier take your post because you failed to plan properly???

I guess some people slip through the cracks...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2015 4:32 AM

2015-03-12T04:32:49-04:00

I think it's only fair because I've given up key days so single soldiers can do things. Single soldiers need time off to. I don't mind giving up some of my time so they can have a good time. You should think about that sergeant. "I will always place their needs above my own"

Response by SFC John Brooks made Apr 1 at 2015 3:16 AM

2015-04-01T03:16:06-04:00

Sergeant Baba,

I'm assuming you get the point by now; that or you are having a good laugh at trolling RallyPoint.

Duty is duty. If the way your unit chooses to accomplish the mission is to have the CQ choose his runners, then do what you have to do. Obviously going to your squad leader with the issue is the first thing to do, but to throw one of your Soldiers out there as less deserving of the day as you based on rank wasn't the right way to go about it. Any good squad leader is going to pick up on that and begin finding ways to squash that attitude.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2015 1:29 AM

2015-05-02T01:29:42-04:00

So let me open with I'm a single 1SG. The open door policy to gripe about pulling CQ on Valentines Day...I don't want to hear it but I'll let your PSG know you are concerned would be my answer. The Army isn't fair, life isn't fair, it's hard and gets less fair and more difficult as you go on.
Being married doesn't entitle you to any kind special consideration when it comes to pulling duty because guess what, single soldiers have lives and family members too! In fact more commonly the single soldiers take advantage of four day weekends for travel, I did as a junior guy.
I also work in a rank heavy organization so I don't have sympathy when it comes to CQ being rank heavy, in fact the element my organization revolves around is organized in a way that SSG is the lowest rank we have which means on a team I was an E-8 who picked up brass, built pallets, and took out trash.
The grown up way to go about it if you didn't knock out a pass form prior to would be an attempt at reasoning with him. Start with not griping about having duty and while you spend the next 24 hrs together ask him if you can get a rain check and take a 4 day a different weekend. As a Team Sergeant if I had to ruin a a long weekend for a guy or the ODA due to duty or a training trip I would just go to my Company SGM and ask him about a comp weekend when the calendar was empty.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2015 3:07 PM

2015-05-02T15:07:18-04:00

I'm not gonna even comment on this one....way to throw your Soldiers under the bus!! You are what is wrong with the NCO Corps; selfishness, self entitlement; worthless; etc!!! Way to lose respect from your SL and troops!! I am glad your SL had the fortitude to tell you tough luck and you are pulling duty!! Hope you learned your lesson and next time will turn in exemptions like you are supposed to!!!

Response by SPC Chris Benamati made May 8 at 2015 8:41 PM

2015-05-08T20:41:55-04:00

Just wanted to let you know I down voted this comment. You're a soldier first, husband second. My advice, plan ahead better, discuss flexibility in those plans with your wife and memorize the NCO creed so you won't make a fool of yourself in the future.

Response by SFC Dwayne Gilson made Jun 19 at 2015 9:12 AM

2015-06-19T09:12:26-04:00

Doesn't your Company 1SG run a DA 6 for CQ, and for SDNCO?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2015 11:36 AM

2015-08-22T11:36:26-04:00

Welcome to the Army. Just do your CQ man. It's your job. What would you tell the 1st SGT? That you don't want to do your job?

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2015 11:52 AM

2015-08-22T11:52:14-04:00

I find it difficult to feel bad for you. I can't believe you actually asked to be removed from your duty and try to encourage your squad leader to force a soldier of lesser rank to replace you. You really have your priorities messed up. Next time when you want to make plans complete a pass request through your unit. Don't throw young soldiers under the bus for your own personal gain. I hope you have learned a valuable lesson here through all of this feedback. If you don't want to be a NCO ask your 1SG to submit a reduction request for you. Otherwise, suck it up.

Response by PFC Tuan Trang made Aug 29 at 2015 1:12 PM

2015-08-29T13:12:38-04:00

It sucks, but once squad leader/commander tell you is cq, you can't do anything, you can try to sit down and talk to him/her, or talk to any e-4 or e-5 to help you.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Aug 31 at 2015 2:27 PM

2015-08-31T14:27:37-04:00

Can I just say, I still read this thread and the comments to get a good laugh??

Response by SP5 Michael Rathbun made Aug 31 at 2015 3:04 PM

2015-08-31T15:04:29-04:00

Since we seem to have given up on saluting and standing at Parade Rest, this thread must still be in contention for the title "Most Tiresome Active".

Response by SGT William Randall made Jan 14 at 2016 9:17 AM

2016-01-14T09:17:05-05:00

Boo Hoo The Army didn't issue you a wife. Ruck up and quit your crying. Is this what the military has come to. "I have plans you can't do this to me, its not fair,what about the other guy". How did you ever become a Sargent.

Response by CPL Timothy Coffey made Feb 28 at 2016 8:44 PM

2016-02-28T20:44:09-05:00

No, all are the same, no special privileges for any group. Besides the married people will talk the unmarried to do it anyway, I use to secure Thanksgiving dinner that way, or other favors as a single soldier.

Response by PFC Tuan Trang made Feb 28 at 2016 9:48 PM

2016-02-28T21:48:31-05:00

Sgt, You can try to trade the assigning with the other battle, but i don't think anything gonna change or be difference around valentine, as far as i know most of us reserve don't even have off on holiday when it fall on drills.

Response by CPO Mark Robinson made Sep 3 at 2018 11:19 PM

2018-09-03T23:19:22-04:00

I spent my first 12 years of service single and there was a lot of discrimination against single people back then. I got really good at staying on board and fixing things when the married guys got to go home. In Hawaii one of my superior female petty officers said it best. The single guys are the ones who really need more time off the boat. They need that time to find themselves a woman.

Response by SSG Brian G. made Feb 3 at 2021 12:21 AM

2021-02-03T00:21:12-05:00

Did you have an approved leave form for that weekend? No. Did you have an approved pass slip signed by your commander and passed down through your 1Sgt? No. Then the Army does not care what plans you made for any weekend. You signed the dotted line, swore the oath and wear the uniform just like many others and being a Sgt of 6 years experience you should well and better know the drill.

STOP WHINING. And yes, you are whining. Go ahead use your 1Sgt's open door policy. He or she is going to look at you like you grew a second head and would be well within rights to ask HOW you got promoted to E-5.

Response by MAJ Ronnie Reams made Feb 20 at 2022 12:05 PM

2022-02-20T12:05:03-05:00

When I served, Runner was on a DA-6, just like CQ. Stops problems like this.

Response by SSG Bill McCoy made Feb 20 at 2022 4:06 PM

2022-02-20T16:06:43-05:00

I was married for the last 9 years I was in the service, and had a special needs daughter. The ONLY time I asked for deferential duty status, was the few times my daughter had surgery, and then, ALWAYS well in advance.
Holidays? Does NOT MATTER whether or not you're married. Single members have a life too. I and everyone I knew, LOVED it when the duty schedule happened to give us a holiday off. Otherwise, we made plans AROUND our duty schedule. Valentines day was often celebrated with a card ON the day; and whatever celebration was the first non-duty day after.
In my last unit, SGT/E-5's pulled CQ and afterhours Arms Room duties. When I handed in my sidearm after an evening shift, someone mentioned the CQ's wife was in the hospital to deliver their baby. I asked the CQ and he said the 1SG refused to have someone else fill in for him. So, being a SSG, I relieved him of duty, and "assigned" myself as the CQ/Arms Room. 1SG was NOT happy when he came in at 0700, but the Co Cdr thought it was great. (Just to give you an idea of what the 1SG was like, he weighed about 450 lbs, LITERALLY and was ultimately booted out for cause - a morals issue. Caught red-handed after hours with a male PV2.)