Should people stop thanking Veterans for their service?

SSG Robert Burns — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 21:55:39 -0400

http://revoltdaily.org/stop-thanking-veterans-for-their-service/

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Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made Aug 19 at 2014 10:23 PM

CPT Jacob Swartout — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 22:23:12 -0400

Great article here. Brings a lot of insight that many people may have honestly just over looked. It may feel odd when someone thanks me for allowing their hobbies, sports, lifestyles, and many other freedoms to continue. Then again I know its all possible because we preserve our way of life as Americans and will protect all it entails. Thanking me for my service is sufficient for me. I don't ask for any accolades or special treatment. Heck, a high five is all I may just need!

Response by SSG Mark Ives made Aug 19 at 2014 11:15 PM

SSG Mark Ives — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 23:15:37 -0400

Personally, I don't care if I'm thanked or not. Too many times it seems hollow and awkward. I served for my own reasons, most that anyone who has never served would understand. There was another topic where this was discussed & I know appreciation from other vets and SM's was more important to me. Thanking us being PC makes it that much less sincere.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 12:48 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 00:48:27 -0400

When I was on my way home from Afghanistan I was, unfortunately, traveling in uniform. I hate doing it, but it was all I had. I was at my gate at DFW. I think I was connecting through Atlanta or Charlotte. I can't remember. Anyhow, this nice older lady, probably in her 60s, approached me and gave me the hand shake and the thank you. She was one of the ones that you could tell was sincere in doing it. I returned her thanks with courteous appreciation despite the discomfort I always feel when I'm approached like that.

Fast forward to landing. I had been forced to check my carry on at the gate so when I got off the plane I had to wait for them to unload it and get it up to the ramp. The same lady was waiting for her bag as well. She saw me and smiled and approached me again. She held out her hand and said that she just wanted to thank me again so I went to shake her hand. I realized as I did that she was trying to give me money. I told her that while I appreciated her thanks and her generosity that I couldn't take it. She seemed a little hurt or something at first and the whole thing turned into a brief, courteous argument. I ended up telling her that the people that put the uniform on don't do it for thanks or rewards or recognition, we do because we want to and so that other people don't have to. I continued by saying that we do sincerely appreciate the gratitude that we're shown by folks like her but that our values don't allow us to take gifts like that. I ended the interaction by giving her a hug and thanking her for recognizing our sacrifices. She seemed pleased with that.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 11:54 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 11:54:37 -0400

No. . Why would this even be considered?

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Aug 20 at 2014 1:02 PM

MSG Wade Huffman — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 13:02:52 -0400

While the title of the article caught me a bit off guard (and I believe that was the intent) I find myself in agreement with the author, in principle at least. I've often wondered whether all or any of the thanks we have all received were actually heart felt, or out of a feeling of something they are expected to do, or even guilt. The author proposes a much more realistic, believable, and meaningful alternative to the ordinary 'thank you for your service'. Good 'Food for Thought'.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 1:12 PM

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 13:12:07 -0400

No I think people feel better about saying thank you. Its there good deed for the day. Do they really mean it? Im sure some do.....I never really know what to say....Usually just say "Proud to Serve" and get away before it gets awkward

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Aug 20 at 2014 1:15 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 13:15:05 -0400

That was a moving article. When it first began after the Gulf War, I think people were shamed into doing it because of what happened to our Vietnam brothers and sisters. I think its reached a point of overload now where people think they are expected to do it and be reciprocated for it which makes a lot of us uncomfortable - especially where they are expecting you to "accept" something like money, SSG Private RallyPoint Member or a spot in line SFC William Laws to make them feel they have done their good deed. Like the article says, I think we need to make it a personal gesture towards someone we know and really make it count or donate to an organization or local VFW/American Legion. I know that money for those organizations during these times is always a welcomed, "Thanks".

I know I still and probably will continue to do it as a matter of "let's not forget" but I first introduce myself as a vet and thank them for carrying on the proud tradition, hopefully making them feel less uncomfortable.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Aug 20 at 2014 1:26 PM

SGT Richard H. — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 13:26:26 -0400

I've been thanked, I don't know how many times. Like others have alluded, it always feels a little awkward. More so if you're at a ball game or something and they ask all the vets to stand and be thanked. Like others, I say "proud to do it" and change the subject or move on. I guess a lot of us just have the "silent professional" mindset.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Aug 20 at 2014 2:16 PM

Cpl Dennis F. — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 14:16:23 -0400

Not until I get about thirty years of "Catch up" to erase the decades of scorn.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Aug 20 at 2014 2:30 PM

SGT Ben Keen — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 14:30:45 -0400

This is a very interesting article. Rather than just saying an "empty thank you", I think people should think of why they are thanking us. I feel if they focus on the "why" more they will appreciate the results of what we do.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 2:30 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 14:30:51 -0400

No. I think thanking veterans may be hollow in comparison to the true gratitude that used to be given, but it still is showing acknowledgment of service, even if the person doing the thanking doesn't fully comprehend the sacrifices we endure.

I'd ask those who want the handshakes and "thank yous" to stop, why not just ask to eliminate the awards system too? Who needs to be acknowledged for a job well done, right? Who should be acknowledged for going above and beyond? For bravery and valor? For accomplishments? It's all about showing appreciation... And it's a good thing.

Telling people to stop thanking service members is like telling people to stop thanking each other for every acts of courtesy. It shows appreciation, no matter how small.

Besides... Eventually, many would start standing on the soap boxes declaring the nation has "forgotten" and that we were no longer acknowledged for our contributions. No matter what, there will always be those who are never satisfied... Even with gratitude.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 3:38 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 15:38:09 -0400

It does feel awkward being thanked by folks. I mostly just say your welcome and leave it at that. Just a couple of months ago I paid for a young Army SPC's (he was in uniform) haircut at my barbershop. As I thanked him I told him that I was appreciative of young men and women stepping up and serving America. He told me it made him feel very grateful being thanked by a fellow veteran who actually had meaning to the thank you.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 3:47 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 15:47:19 -0400

I don't really care if it is awkward of heartfelt. I'd much rather them say it than not, even if they don't truly mean it. I am sure our Vietnam brothers would have preferred emotionless thanks as opposed to open scorn.

Except for extreme situations I also don't understand how this is so awkward. I get thanked daily for my service and I simply reply back with "Thank you for your support" and carry on about my day.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 7:31 PM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 19:31:09 -0400

I know that when I see an active service member now out and about, I tend to thank them by anonymously purchasing for them what they are buying. Usually at a sandwich shop or such. I do not feel like making them uncomfortable by calling them out publicly, but I believe that showing them my thanks is greater than telling them my thanks. Most of the time, I get away with the service member none-the wiser. However, sometimes they catch up and I have had some great conversations. Everyone needs to feel appreciated once in a while, even those who profess to not "needing" the accolade, I would posit are genuinely pleased inwardly at having received the gratitude. My actions are as much for me as it is for them, and that is probably true for many people out there, they want to feel connected to this generations hero's, whether you believe you are or not is irrelevant to their need.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2014 8:20 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 20:20:38 -0400

I think this is a great article and the author makes some very good points. Nobody made anyone here join the military, it was a choice that each of us made. I don't mind being thanked, but at the same time it doesn't bother me if people don't say anything. I've been offered cups of coffee and I've had my share of people thanking me and while it can be a bit weird for me I think about how the uniform that I'm wearing represents much more than me. And I also agree with SSG Private RallyPoint Member, for some of these people that hand shake and thanking you can mean a lot for that person.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 3 at 2014 11:15 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 11:15:35 -0500

SSG Robert Burns I totally agree with this article, but they missed one that I think is absolutely necessary for the future of our country. Thank a veteran by Voting in all elections...

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2015 4:10 PM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 28 Jan 2015 16:10:49 -0500

Yes.

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/11/help-veterans-by-taking-them-off-the-pedestal/281316/

"For many civilians, veterans are thought about in the span of football halftime shows, where we gawk at troops standing on the sidelines while the camera lingers on flags flapping in the wind. The word hero is tossed around and abused to the point of banality. The good intentions of civilians are rarely in question, but detached admiration has always been a stand-in for the impulse to do “something” for veterans."

Don't say thank you...do something to help. Just saying "thank you for your service" only helps to widen the gap between the military and civilians. They see us as "other", as something they could not be, doing things they could not do...so they build a distorted view of all veterans that only serves to hurt the military when it comes time to make policy decisions.

Help Veterans by Taking Them Off the Pedestal

A former infantryman in Iraq reflects on how the culture of military service has changed since World War II. Unhelpful attitudes from civilians and veterans alike, he says, are making it difficult for today's servicemen to transition back to post-deployment life.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 2:57 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 14:57:34 -0500

No, SSG Robert Burns, t is their right and they should be able to express themselves.

I believe that Society is much more informed due to technology and therefore people realize that we are just doing a Service to our Country.

Some may also be trying to make amends in the wake of events from the Vietnam War and the treatment those Soldiers received.

Response by SGT Jim Z. made Feb 8 at 2015 3:06 PM

SGT Jim Z. — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 15:06:25 -0500

SSG Robert Burns That was very interesting article you shared.

Response by CPT James Burkholder made Mar 17 at 2016 4:24 PM

CPT James Burkholder — Thu, 17 Mar 2016 16:24:21 -0400

This might be off topic a bit but I was catching a plane when a bunch of troops were returning from the middle east, in uniform, and somehow as an RVN vet I wanted to say something. I talked to a guy and thanked him. We got into a quick conversation and I admitted I was a vet from RVN. He gave me a button that he had pulled off the coat of an enemy, a trooper of Hassan. Somehow there was a connection and I keep this button next to the Bronze Star I got in a drawer. Please don't stop thanking the folks coming back - - it likely means more than you think.

Response by SPC Casey Ashfield made Jun 27 at 2017 2:18 AM

SPC Casey Ashfield — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 02:18:43 -0400

I am very uncomfortable being thanked for my service. Like most service members, I spent 99% of my down time sitting around thinking of games to prevent from being bored. Because of this discomfort, I rarely traveled in uniform to avoid this interaction. Not to mention it makes you a tactical target, but that is besides the point.

Fact of the matter is, civilians DO NOT understand us. No matter how many friends or relatives they have had in the military, they don't get it. And they never will. They have never gone through the training, sleep deprivation, malnutrition, and conditioning we have. And because of all that, a thanks for service is the best they can do. And it really should continue. I would much rather be thanked for my service and share a few stories than to be called a "baby killer" and "tool of the corporate elite/new world order."

Response by PO3 Leo Zacher made Jul 4 at 2017 2:24 PM

PO3 Leo Zacher — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 14:24:13 -0400

I get my medical care at the local VA and when I get monotone, rote, slightly rude at times service by the medical staff and doctors there followed by the routine, unemotional, disingenuous " Thank You For Your Service" followed by NEXT IN LINE as they stare right through me as if I no longer exist bothers me. I'm a Vietnam era Navy vet so I got use to no recognition and it still feels uncomfortable to hear it repeatedly used especially when people use it like they are saying "have a nice day" you know they don't really in there heart really care if i have a nice day! I would much rather people just say "Have a nice day" It's polite and something I'm use to hearing. if someone really means it and bothers to inquire about my service, then I don't mind someone saying " Thank you for your service" Anyway that's my two cents worth.

Response by SSG Ricky Johnson made Jul 4 at 2017 2:59 PM

SSG Ricky Johnson — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 14:59:50 -0400

As a Vietnam Era vet that served in Berlin, I seen first hand many times the guys coming into the west coast went through. Let the population remember. This is just a pendulum. It will swing the other way soon enough.

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Jul 4 at 2017 3:16 PM

SGT Jerrold Pesz — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 15:16:05 -0400

In this area they pretty well have quit. I has been months since I have had anyone do that. Probably only a couple of times in the last year. Actually I am glad that they quit. It did make me feel a little uncomfortable.

Response by Lt Col John Eliopolo Cpc, Eli Mp made Jul 4 at 2017 7:29 PM

Lt Col John Eliopolo Cpc, Eli Mp — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 19:29:32 -0400

Mixed feelings on this. Yes the Vets should be thanked, especially those in harms way. However, too many get thanked who haven't really done anything to be thanked for except wear the uniform. I'm okay with this up to a point, the civilians are thanking the 'representative' military member in front of them for all the Vets. The thing that bothers me, it seems to foster in some Vets minds that they are somehow 'special out there' once they transition to civilian life. Nope. Civilians don't owe us anything except our benefits we deserve, and they pay for, with their tax dollars. I've coached Vets transitioning that seem to think, subconsciously at least, that they are owed a job. I thought this was an anamoly the first time I experienced it from a transitioning Vet, but I've run into this mindset on a number of occasions coaching my brethren. It causes me to have to coach them back to reality, 'the civilians don't owe you a damn thing. The thanks should be taken as just what they are, attempts on the civilians part to show us gratitude; nothing more, nothing less.

Response by Sarah Zayas made Jul 26 at 2017 4:32 PM

Sarah Zayas — Wed, 26 Jul 2017 16:32:32 -0400

No, unless they're disrupting their lives like walking up to them while having dinner.

Response by SSG Marshall Paul made Aug 14 at 2017 10:31 PM

SSG Marshall Paul — Mon, 14 Aug 2017 22:31:19 -0400

As a Vietnam vet, I do not appreciate it. It is meaningless, an empty gesture. Not do I accept military discounts. But I am polite, not scornful.

Response by PFC Thomas Cornella made Dec 4 at 2017 8:10 PM

PFC Thomas Cornella — Mon, 04 Dec 2017 20:10:33 -0500

As a Veteran, I didn't join to get recognition. I joined the Military because I wanted to serve my Country, and better myself in the process. No, i dont think we should be thanked for our service. Just silently know that we did what we did, because we wanted to.

Response by SN Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2018 9:36 AM

SN Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 09:36:39 -0500

ETR3 Cagle, I'm a submariner and have only a couple of years of service but I have a couple of ideas on this. For me it was and largely still is something I don't believe I will ever get used to hearing. When I left my A school to go join the boat, our instructor told us a story of when he was going through bootcamp. The people that are thanking us are not necessarialy saying it to you, they are saying thank you to all the members who went out and didn't come back home. You are an envoy of fathers, brothers, and other loved ones who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. By being in uniform, you are continuing the belief of American principles and carrying the torch that has been passed to you in your decision. People can feel social pressure and a sense of obligation/guilt to say something or offer up a gesture of kindness and while it is an appreciated act is not why we do what we do on a daily basis. Our time away from home is spent to carry out acts that other don't so we can protect those who can't.

Response by Manuel Perea made Mar 15 at 2018 10:36 AM

Manuel Perea — Thu, 15 Mar 2018 10:36:57 -0400

I didn't join to be thanked or congratulated. I served for the love of country.