Should single and married Soldiers be treated differently?

2014-01-14T13:02:18-05:00

I have been in the Army for 4 and a half years.  In those 4 and a half years I have noticed that married soldiers seem(and I put the emphasis on seem) to be listened too more than the single soldiers.  There are the unit FRG programs and garrison level ones as well.  I have been an advocate participant in B.O.S.S.(Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers) in those 4 years.  It has always seemed to me that a married soldier was more likely to get a marriage retreat approved than a single soldier.  Even as former VP of the Fort Detrick BOSS Committee and Unit representative it seems like if an event is geared towards families then Units push it and encourage married soldiers to attend but if it is an event for single soldiers there does not seem to be much emphasis put on it.  I have had Soldiers be told they couldn't do certain events that may happen during the duty day but there are marriage retreats people go on and they take up duty days as well.  It seems to me that though the Army took steps to correct starting with the implementation of BOSS in 1989 it still does receive as much support from unit CoCs as family events do.  Any thoughts?  Do you agree or disagree?  ****I know I messed up the title*****

Response by SFC James Baber made Jan 11 at 2014 11:48 PM

2014-01-11T23:48:33-05:00

The 1st answer I can give you is because SMs living in on-post housing are considered more responsible than the normal party hardy single Soldier that doesn't have anyone else within their household at times to answer to.

Secondly, government qtrs., which are now privatized are considered less required to in house military standards as are a barracks government living area, just as you don't have inspections of off-post housing.

And finally whether it be alcohol or other attributes, married Soldiers are living in what is considered their own house and not a government controlled living area and the regulations are designed for the government controlled living areas, before housing became privatized, many of those same directives and rules for barracks applied for housing areas, that all changed when the SMs had to start paying for the qtrs.

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Jan 11 at 2014 11:50 PM

2014-01-11T23:50:46-05:00

We have inspections because it's a federal building.  And if you've lived in the barracks you know exactly what some soldiers can do to a room.  I've seen it all, short of going at it with a bull dozer.  Because of the high population of young folk who are on their own for the first time and still have much to learn in responsibility is why there is such a heavy presence there.<div>Married folk are at home with their family and don't have 300 people living in the same building as them.  There aren't going to be parties every week when your kids live with you.</div>

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2014 11:52 PM

2014-01-11T23:52:19-05:00

I agree with you all the way except for the cq part. Barrack soldiers tend to party like college students in the barracks and do A LOT of stupid things on the weekends. So they need to keep cq. But yeah it sucks for single soldiers, depending where you stationed, have to share a closet size room with a room mate and have limited alcohol. And I've seen plenty of disgusting married soldiers houses. But most on post housing is ran by civilian companies. So what ever damage there is, the soldier most pay.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 11 at 2014 11:53 PM

2014-01-11T23:53:39-05:00

SPC Bobchin,

This is all my personal opinion, but, lets look at the average across the Army. A majority of single Soldiers are 18-21 years...barely old enough to drink. Soldiers of a young age or maturity level tend to be more unruly. Soldiers are treated like children because most of the time, they act as so. I don't have enough hands to count the number of times I've walked through the barracks to see trash in the hall, laundry rooms in disarray, Soldiers rooms are messy, have excuses as to why their room is not to standard, etc., and this is all during the work week, lets not even talk about the weekend! Granted, there ARE Soldiers who NEED housing inspections because some of these Soldiers who are married behave as if they live in the barracks, but, I believe that if you decide to make the decision to get married, that's a "grown up" decision..therefore, the Army gives you "grown up" privileges. Not saying that single Soldiers aren't grown, but Im simply speaking on the decision to get married. I believe that the inequality exists because being single and being married is not equal. I hope this gives you some sort of guidance! Good post!

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 12:03 AM

2014-01-12T00:03:05-05:00

I'm almost 30 and i live in the barracks. Luckily bein an NCO, I don't have to worry about a random roommate ( I get my own room ). I despise being in the barracks because I'm surrounded by young soldiers, including one of my soldiers. I do believe the things we deal with are unfair but at the same time some of the people that live in the barracks aren't the brightest.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 12:23 AM

2014-01-12T00:23:32-05:00

Ahhh the barracks, I loved them days having three boots to a room and when one showered, the other mopped. With all that money from the recent conflicts, the Corps has all new barracks just about everywhere and Marines are still complaining. If the lance creatures kept their rooms squared away and the NCO's living in the barracks enforced regulations and owned that building like it's their own purchased property, there would be no need to be baby-sat by SNCO's like myself.

It's only a few that cause problems in the barracks that forces the rules like Lance Corporals and below rate a 6 pack, Corporals 12 pack, and Sergeants 24 packs, with nobody allowed to have hard liquor. Majority of young men live in the barracks, majority of older men live out of the barracks, the quality of life will be different.

Response by SPC Stephen Bobchin made Jan 12 at 2014 12:37 AM

2014-01-12T00:37:12-05:00

I should clarify, I am not complaining about my barracks, in fact, I view it to be the best barracks I've seen, even if its the smallest. We don't have a CQ, alcohol limits or anything like that, and we have fewer incidents than our sister barracks that does have those restrictions.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 12:39 AM

2014-01-12T00:39:02-05:00

There is no justifiable reason and I made that point with an E-9 one day, who was not even in my squadron. By the time I was at McGuire I was a forecaster and our schedules were more hectic with standby and all. I was in no mood to be harassed once a week by people I did not know.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 4:10 AM

2014-01-12T04:10:04-05:00

Its all about maturity. The average age of a single soldier in the barracks is 18-23. They are still kids and often act that way too. They are often used to having mom and dad clean up after them and fix their issues and to be honest are not taught how to maintain once they are on their own. Each environment has their own set of rules: Barracks living usually entails occasional GI parties, room inpsections and so on...while married individuals in housing play by big boy rules and have more responsibilites. On Fort Hood, if you live in housing, you have to maintain your own yard and are required to recycle. If you dont, you are written up and reported to the chain of command. When you get married, it is expected/assumed that you are mature enough to carry yourself as an adult (sometimes not the case) and dont require the leadership to 'babysit' you. Barracks personnel on the other hand are more regulated by individual units have a few more rules because 9 out of every 10 soldiers are young and inexperienced at living in the 'world' and not with their parents.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 10:04 AM

2014-01-12T10:04:05-05:00

In my opinion most military rules were written years ago when most Soldiers lived in the barracks and few were married. Today Single soldiers do more work for less pay. My recommendation is to pay every Soldier BAH w/dependents and deduct the fair market value of their housing (I'm thinking the fair market value of a shared room with common bathroom wouldn't be very much). This move alone would put more single NCOs in the barracks because it would mean more cash in their pocket.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 10:48 AM

2014-01-12T10:48:47-05:00

I lived in the barracks
and never was bother with inspections only once a week on Mondays. My first
line gave me that breathing room because I never made him look bad when my room
was inspected. Even when unannounced my room was orderly and clean. However,
some of my section battles did not have that privilege because they could care
less about having their rooms in order.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2014 3:36 PM

2014-01-12T15:36:48-05:00

My response is regarding the alcohol in the barracks. The reason for this is because some Soldiers, not all, are not responsible enough to handle a considerable amount of alcohol on their own. Although we all know it does happen. The CQ is there to maintain the good order and discipline while the COC is away, and also to prevent the glamorization of alcohol.

Response by SFC Stephen P. made Jan 13 at 2014 12:02 AM

2014-01-13T00:02:35-05:00

The real why: angry wives are an extremely influential lobby (seriously, have you ever read the policy for the survivor benefits plan?). I'm pretty sure leaders would treat married troops the same if they were immune to the complaints.

I would support removal of the command from all permanent troop quarters. Perhaps create semi-privatized dorms as the alternative.

Response by SGT Andrew Chapman made Jan 14 at 2014 10:26 AM

2014-01-14T10:26:25-05:00

I was a married soldier as a E1 and I know its been over 20 yrs but my NCO's would come by the house and inspect to see that it was clean and in order. Then as I progressed in rank I was charged with the care of soldiers that I had in the barracks and off post. I did my best to treat each of them fair and I did inspect. I would not want my single soldier living in a room that was unhealthy nor did I want my married soldier living in a house that was not healthy for him and his dependents. I do agree some of the regs and methods seem bias, But its up to each person to take pride in them self the service they have chosen and do what is right. I am sure there are plenty that disagree with me but its like did you parents just let you live in a mess or did they make you clean it. It is your space to live but its not your house.

Response by SPC Stephen Bobchin made Jan 14 at 2014 1:24 PM

2014-01-14T13:24:27-05:00

I just want to put this out here:
http://www.armytimes.com/article/20131209/NEWS/312090027/Video-shows-brown-shower-water-mold-Fort-Polk-barracks

Have barracks inspections really been that effective? (Apparently these issues are common post-wide on Polk)

Video shows brown shower water, mold in Fort Polk barracks

A Fort Polk soldier upset about conditions in the barracks, provided a video to a social media site showing coffee-brown shower water and a moldy bathroom ceiling in a barracks room.

Response by SFC James Baber made Jan 14 at 2014 7:14 PM

2014-01-14T19:14:54-05:00

SPC,

I can tell you from experience about some of your concerns. The issue with there not being more events for single Soldiers is that a majority, based on studies and survey conducted at all installations pre-9/11 and in the last decade have shown that the active participants are so low that it is not financially viable or feasible compared to marriage retreats and participants.

2nd, most Soldiers that do complain about not being able to participate have disciplinary issues or use the event to just get out of work and not actively participate or even show up for the event, this has been shown to be a large majority of problem for years.

I applaud you on being the representative you have been and contributing to the program and pursuing more activities, but I would also encourage you to be an advocate for getting more participation from your fellow single SMs, which will also show the command that there are more Soldiers looking to and willing to participate in recommended events or activities. CDRs do conduct research and look for recommendations and suggestions from COC and single Soldiers for these types of issues, but they many times receive little input from the ones that complain about the issues but also are unwilling to commit and participate when the opportunity does present itself.

Hope this helps to explain and give you an idea of what occurs and what can be done and what you may be able to do to help and continue to do what you do as well.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 14 at 2014 7:51 PM

2014-01-14T19:51:59-05:00

I would say that due to there be more married troops proportionate to single, that perhaps it just does "seem" that way. It also differs from unit to unit, as my unit spends an equal amount of time advertising Single Soldier retreats as Married Retreats. And, to my knowledge, we have never denied something the opportunity due to their martial status of attending. 

Response by SPC Robert Patrick made Jan 24 at 2014 9:31 AM

2014-01-24T09:31:39-05:00

I honestly have no Idea how Barracks came into this because I made no mention of them in my post and had no intention of bringing the barracks into this. The point I was trying to get across is that in my experience units show more favor to giving married soldiers time to do marriage retreats and such than they give single Soldiers to do the Single soldier retreats or BOSS Events.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 24 at 2014 9:53 AM

2014-01-24T09:53:53-05:00

That's very tough Patrick because good BOSS reps coordinate functions like car washes and BBQs to raise funds to assist single soldiers in conducting functions. There in lies the problem. In order to raise funds it takes single soldiers volunteering their time off and services and of course majority of those funds assist in lowering costs but not paying for functions out right. Same thing goes for unit FRGs assisting in raising funds through bake sales etc to raise funds to throw company functions like BBQs. It takes volunteers to make things happen and raise the money needed to meet the activity goal they are saving funds for.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 16 at 2014 12:53 PM

2014-06-16T12:53:18-04:00

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Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 8 at 2014 12:34 PM

2014-08-08T12:34:12-04:00

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1. Male
2. 18-50 years old
3. Currently or previously married
4. Employed full-time when you got married

I am looking for civilians as well as Army soldiers to participate in this study.

Army soldiers MUST have been serving on active duty when they got married.

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Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2014 7:26 PM

2014-10-31T19:26:48-04:00

It seems to me this thread has gotten very off track. It started off with a question/concern about single versus married soldiers being given opportunites for community/volunteer events and turned into a huge discussion on barracks and inspections and such.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 1 at 2014 3:25 PM

2014-12-01T15:25:24-05:00

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Response by MSG John Duchesneau made Jun 20 at 2018 12:21 AM

2018-06-20T00:21:17-04:00

Lets see... Most E-5s and above are married whereas most E-4s and below are not. As a result, leaders are more likely to be in tune with the needs of married soldiers and not so much with the needs of single soldiers.